same socks
you know,
it's weird,
i've been feeling strangely homesick lately.
especially pertaining to the babies. it's weird to think about all of the firsts i was there for with tanner. now when i come home it's like all of a sudden eli is smiling, all of a sudden he laughs, all of a sudden he makes noises and sits up and is teething. i remember coming home from school one day to rochelle FREAKING OUT about tanner's first smile. we sat there for like a half hour trying to get him to do it again. it was such a big deal.
tess was babysitting them the other night and kept calling me with questions and it made me kind of want to cry.
i don't know.
i am just missing my family a lot lately, which is so strange.
not to say that i went cold turkey once i moved out and !!!NEVER LOOKED BACK!!! or anything, but it throws me off that i've started feeling sad when talking to my parents. i mean, come on, i'm supposed to be the black sheep that only comes home for holidays, weddings and funerals.
heart of STONE.
i turned nineteen.
tess came to visit for that weekend.
it was nice to kind of bridge the gap between my "lives."
and we talked a lot, which was good, especially considering my momentary quarter-life crisis a few weeks before.
a few weeks before my birthday,
courtney, adam, jessi, jaime and i ventured to baltimore to visit MICA. i got to play with joey and julia, and even lily powers made a brief appearance. courtney's friend tommy is absolutely nuts, as are his friends. their dorm reminded me of doing hurricane relief work in new orleans (not an exaggeration). but it was a good time.
walking around MICA's campus shook me up a little bit though. i just started questioning the legitimacy of my little MIAD, it seemed like such a joke in comparison. eventually i found myself thinking of ways to tell my parents that i was dropping out of college altogether.
then,
after thinking about it for a while, i figured it doesn't actually matter what school i go to for college. i don't know what i want for my life, at all, making any school i attend neither adequate nor inadequate. and i love milwaukee. but sometimes i feel like i moved to a new city and slipped right back into my old habits. making things i don't care about, putting all my time into other people, etc. like i just went to art school because it was the path of least resistance. because i've got nowhere else to go. i need to figure out what i care about. soon.
so i decided to settle for staying put, changing my major and sticking it out to get my degree.
after that, who knows.
but i don't think i'm going to come back to art for a long long time.
it's weird,
i've been feeling strangely homesick lately.
especially pertaining to the babies. it's weird to think about all of the firsts i was there for with tanner. now when i come home it's like all of a sudden eli is smiling, all of a sudden he laughs, all of a sudden he makes noises and sits up and is teething. i remember coming home from school one day to rochelle FREAKING OUT about tanner's first smile. we sat there for like a half hour trying to get him to do it again. it was such a big deal.
tess was babysitting them the other night and kept calling me with questions and it made me kind of want to cry.
i don't know.
i am just missing my family a lot lately, which is so strange.
not to say that i went cold turkey once i moved out and !!!NEVER LOOKED BACK!!! or anything, but it throws me off that i've started feeling sad when talking to my parents. i mean, come on, i'm supposed to be the black sheep that only comes home for holidays, weddings and funerals.
heart of STONE.
i turned nineteen.
tess came to visit for that weekend.
it was nice to kind of bridge the gap between my "lives."
and we talked a lot, which was good, especially considering my momentary quarter-life crisis a few weeks before.
a few weeks before my birthday,
courtney, adam, jessi, jaime and i ventured to baltimore to visit MICA. i got to play with joey and julia, and even lily powers made a brief appearance. courtney's friend tommy is absolutely nuts, as are his friends. their dorm reminded me of doing hurricane relief work in new orleans (not an exaggeration). but it was a good time.
walking around MICA's campus shook me up a little bit though. i just started questioning the legitimacy of my little MIAD, it seemed like such a joke in comparison. eventually i found myself thinking of ways to tell my parents that i was dropping out of college altogether.
then,
after thinking about it for a while, i figured it doesn't actually matter what school i go to for college. i don't know what i want for my life, at all, making any school i attend neither adequate nor inadequate. and i love milwaukee. but sometimes i feel like i moved to a new city and slipped right back into my old habits. making things i don't care about, putting all my time into other people, etc. like i just went to art school because it was the path of least resistance. because i've got nowhere else to go. i need to figure out what i care about. soon.
so i decided to settle for staying put, changing my major and sticking it out to get my degree.
after that, who knows.
but i don't think i'm going to come back to art for a long long time.