(no subject)
extra extra, read all about it, i am actually sending out an update!
this is not a happy update.... in fact, its filled with much hardship... so if you dont wanna see it, well, scroll down, cause im not putting it behind a cut unless it gets TOO long.
To sum it up in one word, SUCKS.
Health - SUCKS. Have a new bacteria in my lungs... my body has responded great to the medication for it... except that it decided to give me a fever for a week... the same time period as the whole swine flu thingy... turns out it was the medicine, and nothing else. that's good. unfortunately, my lungs in general have been consistently lower than they should be (rather than the normal roller coaster im used to. need consistent health again... and good health please.
work - SUCKS. I was hired full time in january after my media relations skills were the rox0r. My job was supposed to be a mix of media relations and reporting. I can count on my hands the number of times i've done media relations since I started this position. During my 3 month eval, the boss discussed as a goal "head of research and reporting"... if i wanted to do research, i would have stayed in academia... i excelled at it (99.87 final grade). I am extremely unhappy in that regard. I feel like i have taken away all that I can from this job, and am proceeding to look for a new job.
The *only* problem is that while my boss is not a good manager, he has been AMAZING in regards to my health. I doubt i'll find many people who will give me the time i have needed as willingly as he has. But it's not worth it for me to stay in a dead end hole of a position.
Love - SUCKS. my lovers, partners and girlfriends have been ditching me left and right. There have been fights, the majority of them have been extremely immature. I'm upset with WHY they ended it, im even more upset with HOW they chose to end it. Fights left and right, people taking things personally who shouldn't, misappropriating my feelings and responses... seriously, it's just a suckfest full of sucky suck. I am in the process of potentially patching things up with one of my partners from boston... we'll see what happens there.
Love part two - squeektoy42 has been wonderful to me on many levels and I'd have an even harder time without her. she has been amazing to me on every level, and she knows how much she means to me.
Now the goodish. as of today, i have started 60% time at work. This will allow 1) most importantly, for me to rest and recover. I'm exhausted on so many levels, from everything in life. while my health isnt as bad as it could be, it feels bad because it's been consistently worse than i like. With this recovered time and energy, i can devote myself to 2) new job search (and without having to use "sick/vacation days.") As i said, my boss has been good to my health... so, i'll take advantage of that within reason (as in, within my actual needs). also 3) working on having a life again. I have hardly had time/energy to do anything other than play video games, sleep, and recover from hard weeks. This MIGHT Be a sign that I just can't work full time... we'll find out with my next job, where I'm actually applying my degree.
Short term goals:
that looks to be the end of my update... yes, most of it is sucky.
Bonus section: my birthday! For those of you who missed it, my birthday was March 29th... seeing as LJ actually says when my birthday is, few people have an excuse for not wishing me a happy birthday. That being said, this birthday was arguably one of the worst i ever had in my entire life. there was nothing but fighting, fighting, and unhappiness all around. oh, and Monsters vs Aliens, which was enjoyable, but by no means saved the day.
this is not a happy update.... in fact, its filled with much hardship... so if you dont wanna see it, well, scroll down, cause im not putting it behind a cut unless it gets TOO long.
To sum it up in one word, SUCKS.
Health - SUCKS. Have a new bacteria in my lungs... my body has responded great to the medication for it... except that it decided to give me a fever for a week... the same time period as the whole swine flu thingy... turns out it was the medicine, and nothing else. that's good. unfortunately, my lungs in general have been consistently lower than they should be (rather than the normal roller coaster im used to. need consistent health again... and good health please.
work - SUCKS. I was hired full time in january after my media relations skills were the rox0r. My job was supposed to be a mix of media relations and reporting. I can count on my hands the number of times i've done media relations since I started this position. During my 3 month eval, the boss discussed as a goal "head of research and reporting"... if i wanted to do research, i would have stayed in academia... i excelled at it (99.87 final grade). I am extremely unhappy in that regard. I feel like i have taken away all that I can from this job, and am proceeding to look for a new job.
The *only* problem is that while my boss is not a good manager, he has been AMAZING in regards to my health. I doubt i'll find many people who will give me the time i have needed as willingly as he has. But it's not worth it for me to stay in a dead end hole of a position.
Love - SUCKS. my lovers, partners and girlfriends have been ditching me left and right. There have been fights, the majority of them have been extremely immature. I'm upset with WHY they ended it, im even more upset with HOW they chose to end it. Fights left and right, people taking things personally who shouldn't, misappropriating my feelings and responses... seriously, it's just a suckfest full of sucky suck. I am in the process of potentially patching things up with one of my partners from boston... we'll see what happens there.
Love part two - squeektoy42 has been wonderful to me on many levels and I'd have an even harder time without her. she has been amazing to me on every level, and she knows how much she means to me.
Now the goodish. as of today, i have started 60% time at work. This will allow 1) most importantly, for me to rest and recover. I'm exhausted on so many levels, from everything in life. while my health isnt as bad as it could be, it feels bad because it's been consistently worse than i like. With this recovered time and energy, i can devote myself to 2) new job search (and without having to use "sick/vacation days.") As i said, my boss has been good to my health... so, i'll take advantage of that within reason (as in, within my actual needs). also 3) working on having a life again. I have hardly had time/energy to do anything other than play video games, sleep, and recover from hard weeks. This MIGHT Be a sign that I just can't work full time... we'll find out with my next job, where I'm actually applying my degree.
Short term goals:
- rest
- recover
- update resume
- start job hunt
- get healthier
- start having life
- full recover
- have new job within 6 months
- work on getting a strong stable primary relationship
- continue personal growth
that looks to be the end of my update... yes, most of it is sucky.
Bonus section: my birthday! For those of you who missed it, my birthday was March 29th... seeing as LJ actually says when my birthday is, few people have an excuse for not wishing me a happy birthday. That being said, this birthday was arguably one of the worst i ever had in my entire life. there was nothing but fighting, fighting, and unhappiness all around. oh, and Monsters vs Aliens, which was enjoyable, but by no means saved the day.