A change in pace

[iansjournal]

So as you can see I haven't posted on here in a while. It used to be i didn't post because I was too bitter and upset with my life and the world that I didn't think others could take my words, my thoughts and my emotions without cringing and asking me to repent for my mental sins. The posts I did put got a lot of responses where people would go "

Comments

[ilovemoodrings]

while i don't find cutting to be a good way to deal with pain either, i somewhat understand the urge to do so. sometimes it feels like all the pain in your life is out of your control and that you can do nothing to stop it. cutting is a pain that you can control. as warped as that may sound to you or i, to that person it makes perfect sense. they can make themselves hurt and they can make it stop as well. it's a control issue, in my mind at least. i have to disagree with the suicide thing though, i feel it accomplishes nothing except cause more pain...and not just to the one who committed it. to me, it seems almost selfish, you know? i haven't ever really been in that situation though, so i don't really have a right to say what it is or isn't i suppose. and i know it's hard to see people do the same things you did and make similar "mistakes" and whatnot...but you have to remember that you were there once and that emotion is something you can recall. stuff like that can't be wiped away, as you very well know. you're really

[iansjournal]

well in many instances you can control it, but people just think they are lost. It's the mentality they take on the issue. If people would stop and try to talk to someone then in most cases cutting wouldn't be neccesary but then again, usually in that state the person feels that they don't want to burden anyone with their story or there is the fear of being labeled weird or mentally unsound. Yea suicide, had the urge for that on several occasions through my life but never went through with it. I'm glad I didn't too, sadly in some situations it is selfish and the person doesn't stop to think about others, or can't think of others. Yea it can't be wiped away but sometimes it seems like people don't make an effort to change things in their life and just accept mediocracry. ehh it's a change but i haven't done as much with my sense of self being and my self esteem as I'd like. There's a lot of things I want to do but haven't yet.

[ilovemoodrings]

depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain...without medication i'm not sure it can fully be controlled. those urges aren't just something that happens to people in a position to control themselves...it happens to those who feel they have no control. the mentality you take on it only partially your decision, i my opinion, because sometimes there's only so much you can do. and i'm about to say something somewhat controversial i suppose (and possibly hypocritical? i'm not sure anymore...) but here goes...

Yea it can't be wiped away but sometimes it seems like people don't make an effort to change things in their life and just accept mediocracry.i'm going to be honest and say that this sentence just pisses me off. after all the things we discussed last year, i'd think you might see how hypocritical that statement is. i can't count the number of times you told me you had no future ian, and how many times you said you hated living with your grandparents. to me it sounded like you were giving up because you'd hit rock bottom.

[iansjournal]

I'm very aware of depression being a chemical imbalance it's in plenty of commercials and I've also studied it in psych where i actually learned what chemical imbalances are responsible for it and how medication help, plus how to diagnose. Well in some instances my reason on this is that it's not always manic depressives who cut themselves. I believe in some instances it's done in some what manner of a fad, but i would agree that a majority of the time it is likely do to manic depressism

[iansjournal]

now while that me true and proven to you, how many other literally know that. To a good deal of people i'm sure its just an unfounded guess and more of a mental situation than actually physical. You know breaking a finger slapping would do just as much as cutting, hell breaking a bone would last longer, the pain of that would make your endorphines kick in for quite some time, but is that too extreme or is it just done because it's been mainstreamed by movies and social labels.

[iansjournal]

well i've read plenty of things where people cut purposely infront of loved ones that's what really irks me and then they got upset when the parent spazzed about it "they don't understand me". Give an explination instead of getting upset when they ask, everyone can't always know what's up. It's just annoying.

CuT 2 ThE cHaSe!

[1_elephant_lova]

0k, that wasn't the greatest subject title..HaHa! I'm also gettin tired of LJ. 0n this whole cutting topic, thoughts have crossed my mind. I could never actually go through with it, though! A friend of mine occasionally cuts. I wish there was somethin that could be said or done 2 stop her, but it's like a subconscious addiction! She even doesn't realize the dangers. Music and poetry help me immensely in times of hopelessness and disappointment. What would the world sound like without song or rhythm? We'll never know =oP

Re: CuT 2 ThE cHaSe!

[iansjournal]

two words "hip hop"

[swimmingkoi]

yeah I know what you mean, I get to busy to stop and update this thing it was nice to hear you are feeling better and thinking on a good side, ttyl take care

[iansjournal]

k will do,lol thanks