Of Ancient Memories and New Beginnings
Title: Of Ancient Memories and New Beginnings
Pairings: Ian/Anthony
Rating/Warnings: PG-13 for language (Just to be safe. Really, it's just 2 or 3 bad words)
Summary: Ian and Anthony are forced to go to their high school reunion and their girlfriends decide to come. Faced with ancient memories, will smosh remain the same, or will the old memories bring about change?
Author's Notes: Hi, I'm new here and this is my first ever smosh fanfic. I haven't introduced myself yet and I kind of feel idiotic now but I haven't really had time to write a post. So I'll do a quick intro here: Hi, my nickname is Cat and I've been stalking this community for a while now. Hope that clears some stuff up. This story has been hidden somewhere within my documents and I've recently found it. It didn't seem too bad so I decided to finish and here it is. Sorry for any mistakes or if you think some of the parts are a bit rushed, I just didn't have a lot of time on my hands. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it. (even though it's not very good and incredibly long) Any feedback is greatly appreciated. I would also like to point out that English is not my first language and so I'm more prone to make mistakes. :)
Previous chapters: None (It's a one-shot)
Maybe it was a good thing. Or maybe it was a curse. But once more, they were faced with the memories of what seemed like a past lifetime. Once more, the majestic black gates opened, letting them in. Although this time, they arrived in a car, driven by Anthony. It was an alien experience, driving through the monstrous gate. It was unlike the numerous times their feet greeted the sidewalk and made the journey themselves. For unknown reasons, life seemed to stop in its track and slowly, the clock of time turned back. From that point on, nostalgia stuck to Ian's and Anthony's skin, making their bodies heavy with memories they had long since fought to forget. Neither of them mentioned the new, unsettling feeling due to the presence of their girlfriends, but it was unmistakable.
Swiftly, the car moved to rest in an empty parking space. The sun was already hanging low in the horizon, grasping onto the last moments of lighting people's hearts and lives with its warm glow. The car park, however, looked bleak and shapeless; it was a shadow of grey amongst the countless cars which did little to help the car park's dim condition. Wordlessly, the four passengers of the car escaped into the cool evening air. The sudden transition caused Ian to shiver and hide deeper into the fabric of his jacket. The nearby windows of the main, brick structure were the strongest light source available, providing a safe passageway into the dreaded building, laced with memories which should have long since disappeared.
Ian gaped at the humongous building, mesmerised yet petrified at the same time, wanting nothing more than to run away. His ears picked up the faint sounds of an excited conversation coming from his right. He chose to ignore it, too lost in his overwhelming feelings to do much more. A wave of impatience and determination hit him, making him turn to greet the group with an unreadable expression.
“Should we go in?” Ian asked before the group could continue their conversation, his impatience demonstrated through his tone. To Ian's relief, Anthony agreed without question, commenting about the unusual coolness of the evening. They walked as a group, chatting about what they expected to see inside. The girls asked questions about the people who would be attending the high school reunion and Anthony and Ian answered, often making jokes. Their footsteps added to the sound of constant laughter. The footsteps, as Ian noticed, were mismatched, creating an almost sickening symphony conjoined with the noise of the conversation. The school building was quite a distance away from their parked car and the prolonged walk did little to help calm Ian's nerves. For what seemed like aeons, the air held the sound of voices, but once the group made it to the entrance, their conversation ceased.
The entryway looked more threatening than ever, Ian noted. Its steel frame menacing, bringing forth a tale of the horrors hidden within, disguised as memories. Ian could not help but feel nervousness ripple through him. As if sensing Ian's growing distress, Anthony rested his hand of Ian's shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. He leaned towards his best friend and whispered; “Everything's going to be alright, there's nothing to worry about.”. Ian could only wish Anthony was right. High School reunions always brought forth conflicting issues. In all honesty, it wasn't his free choice to come here. Their manager claimed that attending such an event would help their public image; something they didn't consider tarnished in the slightest. They weren't like the drug-snorting, fame addicts, so why bother trying to 'improve' their public image. As far as Ian knew, it was perfectly fine the way it was. Their girlfriends; Melanie and Kalel decided to accompany them for the simple excuse of boredom and 'it might be fun!'.
Snapping out of his dazed state, Ian went through the motions of opening the door, after seeing that everyone was waiting for him to do so. It seemed that everyone had picked up on his distress. The doorknob felt cool against his fingers, invading his territory of warmth. Bracing himself, he took the first step inside. To his surprise, the main corridor was almost empty, except for the presence of two people who were there to greet any guests. The reality didn't match up to his expectations, like usual.
A woman, in her mid twenties, sat at her resting place at the wooden sign-in desk. Ian recognised her as one of Anthony's ex-girlfriends, one of few he used to date during High School. Her name was Josephine, if he remembered correctly. Long, dark hair and the body of a cheerleader sprung to his mind. Ian had to admit, she didn't look much different even now. In his opinion, she might have even gotten prettier.
The second person, a man who Ian didn't remember, appeared not to have acknowledged their existence. His dark mop of hair hid his face like a curtain, his head bent low in order to read some sort of paper. The man was so utterly absorbed in the document that even the distinct creek of the opening door did not wake him from his slumber.
The same could not be said for Josephine, however. To neither of the boys' surprise, once she noticed their presence, Josephine immediately bombarded Anthony with greetings and millions of questions. “Oh my God! Anthony Padilla! It's been years since I've last seen you! So tell me, how has the great Anthony been? And who are those pretty girls?”
Josephine, no matter how hard she tried, could never make things not awkward between the ex-couple, regardless of her carefree attitude. Anthony couldn't either. His awkwardness was shown by his complete speechlessness in the moment. Before he had a chance to gather his thoughts and reply, Kalel stepped in; “Hi, I'm Kalel, Anthony's girlfriend.” She attempted a smile. Ian thought it couldn't be a real smile, it seemed too fake. As if to reinforce her point, Kalel wrapped her arms around Anthony's frame, claiming him.
Melanie moved to stand closer to Ian, feeling the need to show that she, too, had claimed someone. Ian's hand reached out and wrapped around her own, in a subtle gesture of support. He had always considered Melanie to be an amazing girlfriend, she was everything he could have wished for. And yet in reality, there was something missing. Her confidence, speech, even her laugh lacked something vital. Ian couldn't place what it was. He just hoped it wasn't something that would prevent him from ruining their relationship.
Returning back to reality, Ian realised that he missed Josephine's reaction to Kalel's statement, but he certainly didn't miss the aura of jealousy surrounding the now irked woman. A small chuckle wanted, begged, to escape his lips, however, they were sealed. Out of the blue, Melanie's quiet whisper came. “So, I'm guessing she's Anthony's ex?” It soothed his ears.
Ian had always found Melanie's deductive skills astonishing. “Yes. How did you know?”
“I don't think anyone could miss how jealous she is right now...” came Melanie's reply. Ian didn't get a full explanation, but he didn't need one.
During the whispering session, a very 'pleasant' and fake conversation took place and was now nearing it's end. “It was nice catching up with you!” Josephine's smile didn't mask her true emotions, “I'll sign you off the list now, you're free to go through. Both, you and...erm...Ivan”
“His name is Ian, not Ivan.” Anthony spoke, his made annoyance clear by a huff that followed.
“Yeah, my name's Ian...” Ian himself couldn't help adding, not really bothered by the incident. At his side, Melanie looked stern, a scowl crossing her feature, but didn't voice her opinion on the current situation. Kalel just stared at Josephine with a look of despair; something Ian found surprising. It appeared that Kalel did somehow care, at least a little, about him. It was something Ian wouldn't have guessed in a lifetime.
Blushing heavily, Josephine apologised and quickly signed Ian and Anthony in, asking for the names of their girlfriends as everyone's presence at the reunion needed to be acknowledged. As she did her job, her eyes stayed fixated to the piece of paper her fingers worked on, she avoided eye contact with any members of the group.
“The reunion is down the hall in the auditorium.” She spoke after she finished, her face flaming with embarrassment.
“C'mon Ian, let's go.” Anthony's silent, burning rage was expressed as he moved sharply and took Ian's sleeve, pulling him down the corridor and towards the auditorium. Ian was forced to run in order not to fall. It was a rare occurrence to see Anthony this angry at someone and Ian found himself glad that Anthony could feel such anger for his sake.
Turning around, Ian gestured for the two women to follow them. Both had an unreadable expression on their faces, and it unnerved Ian greatly. It wasn't often he found the two women wearing exactly the same expressions, it was frightening, he decided. Ian saw Kalel say something to Melanie, but was too far away to hear. The man observed Melanie's reaction; she simply smiled. Then, the two females moved, walking to catch up to the fuming Anthony and him.
Turning around to face Anthony's backside as he was being dragged, Ian grew increasingly unnerved by the girls' actions. “Hey, Anthony, would you mind not dragging me?” his voice held an undertone of demand and displeasure.
Anthony, as if finally realising what he was doing, released his grip on Ian's sleeve completely. “Sorry...” he said sheepishly, slowing down his walking pace, “Josephine just really pissed me off...”
Ian laughed wholeheartedly, “She just didn't remember my name, it's not a big deal or anything...”
“No, it's a big deal. I went out with her for a while, and you and I were best friends back when I was dating her...she knew you as well as she knew me. Well, not exactly but you know what I mean, right?” The uncertainty in Anthony's voice was clear.
Ian smiled, “She just obviously doesn't care about me in the slightest, you can't blame her. You were her boyfriend, not me. And just for the record, I barely remembered her name, so we're equal. Can we get past actual reunion now? The quicker we get through it, the better.”
“...Yeah, okay.” He didn't sound entirely convinced.
0000
As many ex-students had witnessed various times in their high school years, the smosh duo didn't take themselves seriously and had a bit of a reputation amongst the midst of their ex-classmates. Ian had long since realised that this exact attitude was what lead them to youtuber success, but he was surprised to find that quite a few ex-classmates envied the two men. He didn't know what was so appealing about endless hours of editing, barely getting any sleep and constantly battling with looming deadlines. He guessed that their jealousy existed because, despite all of the negatives, Ian still found himself loving his job as a youtuber. Especially since he got to work with his best friend. Oh, and he was recognised for his 'achievements', unlike many that were gathered in this room.
It had been a while since they entered the auditorium. Since then, countless and nameless faces came to great them and chat about pointless dribble. Almost all acted peppy, with fake enthusiasm and tried to appeal to the duo. Ian was sure that if he were to ask the short, slim man in front of him to lick his feet, he would. This was his worst nightmare: having people stick up to him like dogs begging for food.
It was time to sneak out for the time being, Ian decided, before Anthony and him were devoured by the ex-jocks and cheerleaders who avoided them at all costs a few years ago.
Ian turned to Anthony, nudging him and successfully interrupting the conversation both members the smosh duo were supposed to be having. The woman Anthony was talking to immediately glared daggers at Ian, obviously not afraid to show her displeasure. Anthony, on the other hand, looked beyond relieved that Ian was no longer zoning out of the conversation.
“Ant, I think we should get out of this auditorium, don't you?” Ian asked, his voice a low whisper so that only Anthony could hear. His best friends' response was exactly what Ian expected: Anthony smiled and nodded eagerly, like a small child.
“Where do you think we should go?”
“Anywhere. Let's try sneaking out first and then think about it...”
0000
Ian and Anthony, having grabbed the girls, dismissed their own little fake fanclub by using the excuse of making 'an important call'. Once they made it out of the auditorium, they began walking down the main hall leading to the exit.
“Ian, I've always been curious, could me and Kalel get a tour of this school before we go?” Melanie asked timidly.
“There's no harm in doing so...” Kalel added for effect, giving her best puppy-eyes.
It was obvious this whole situation was bound to happen due to the cunningness of the two women. And there was nothing either of the boys could have done to prevent this. Ian appeared to be considering the idea, weighting up the pros and cons.“Yeah, okay.” He finally spoke “If you really want to.” Inside his mind, the man was secretly dreading the memories locked up in those classrooms. But he couldn't just say no, he didn't want to make his feelings clear.
Anthony fixated him with a stare, shocked at Ian's nonchalance. Ian couldn't blame him, he knew a lot of things about his best friend and he was certain that Anthony would not enjoy this tour either.
“You're okay with doing this, right, baby?” Kalel asked, noticing his bewilderment.
“...Yeah.” It was an obvious lie.
“So, where should we start?” Ian wondered aloud, wanting nothing more than to be back home on his couch.
“Science block? It's furtherest away from the school...” Anthony elaborated.
“Makes sense. Let's go!” Ian took Melanie's hand and lead her in the other direction from where they were previously headed. Anthony did a similar thing with Kalel and they were off on their journey.
0000
Predictably, during their so called journey they came across another person. The surprise was hidden within who that person was: a tall man known as Mister Hawk. It wasn't a surprise to see a teacher at a high school reunion, after all, they were all curious as to how their ex-students are doing. Mister Hawk, however, despised almost everyone within the smosh duo's class and his hatred also reached those beyond. Ian couldn't image the man having any desire to come to a high school reunion.
Thankfully, Mister Hawk did not stop to chat and instead huffed a very annoyed sigh before dismissing their existence entirely.
Just to mess with him, Ian yelled after the teacher; “It was nice catching up with you, Mister Hawk!”
The man's increasingly irked, retreating form was enough to make Ian chuckle.
“He always hated you...” Anthony laughed.
“Yeah. He hated you too.”
“Who didn't he hate?”
“Good point.”
“Who is he?” Kalel asked as she resumed walking, making the group snap out of the encounter and follow her.
“Our old chemistry teacher. He's the strictest motherf*cker I've ever known.” Ian took the liberty of explaining.
The conversation flowed from that point on, ranging from the different teachers the four had a chance to encounter to the awfulness of walking up stairs as the group finally made it inside the science block.
By the time they were done 'touring' most of the classrooms, almost all were changed to a scene of an upcoming prank. The tour wasn't as bad as Ian had considered it to be - so far, none of the classrooms brought very conflicting memories bubbling to the surface and everyone was having fun violating the science block.
Ian emerged from a classroom called B16, laughing and giggling at the masterpiece the four had created on a standard whiteboard at the front of the classroom. It was definitely going to cause an uproar from the teachers.
Still giggling, Ian moved to the next classroom, named B17 with originality, and pushed the doors open with unnecessary force. His hype, however, was sedated at the sight before him; it was the classroom. The room he had been secretly dreading the most...The very reason he did not want to come to the reunion.
Hesitating, he swiftly walked inside, closing the door once Anthony, Melanie and Kalel entered. The classroom...he didn't know why he didn't know why his brain didn't connect the dots before he entered. Maybe it was due to the amount of fun he was having...But here, right before him, was the room which tortured him in his most vivid dreams. It was the room in which he and Anthony...kissed. For the first and last time. Ian would be lying if he said he didn't like it. He loathed the room for this reason alone.
With the sun already gone and the echo of his giggling behind him, Ian walked further into the abandoned classroom, seeing it for the first time in years. It was a strange experience, to walk on the ground you've once cursed but wished to come back to for a reminder of a kiss. Everything about this room was nostalgic, he felt as if he was drowning. The metallic desks, the smell of chemicals clinging to the air, the large windows, even the lack of light brought forth something which struck a chord in Ian's chest. The loneliness of an almost abandoned classroom matched his mood perfectly, so much so, Ian couldn't help but glance behind him to see Anthony with an alien expression written on his features.
It seemed Anthony remembered...
As if feeling Ian's piercing eyes on him, Anthony's head turned to meet his companion's startling glare. Their eyes met, both filled with something akin to regret, both demonstrating regret for similar reasons. Caught in a staring battle, with one trying to read the other, Ian tried to hide the his true feelings. He really did feel something for Anthony, it was a strange feeling. He couldn't call it lust or love, he knew that it wasn't just a simple case of bromance either. Ian was sure he loved Melanie, but he couldn't shake the feeling of...something...unusual and weird every single time he and Anthony were in close proximity. He knew Melanie didn't deserve this, whatever this was, but he just couldn't make the feeling disappear. It took years to subdue the undecipherable pest, Ian doubted he could make it go away in this lifetime.
The dynamics of his and Anthony's relationship weren't commonplace, Ian had to admit. In fact, they were beyond rare. What they might have experienced, most people would see as a simple mistake, a simple kiss, something to move on from. But to Ian, it was something completely different. He didn't know how exactly, but the kiss changed him. Lost in his heart's labyrinth, Ian knew only one thing; he didn't need affection and sex to show his...feeling for Anthony. And he was sure Anthony would object if Ian tried either of those things. On rare occasions, Ian had to fight the urge to do such things, but it got easier as time flew by and he would rather have Anthony as a best friend than risk losing him by doing something stupid as making a drunken move on him.
“So...I guess we ended up here then...” Anthony chuckled nervously, finally looking away from Ian's eyes.
“Huh? Why do I sense awkwardness?” Melanie's voice cut through the tension. “What's so special about this classroom?”
Both Anthony and Ian panicked. It was obvious that the incident needed to remain a secret. Their eyes connected once more; both wild, searching for some sort of excuse in each other's eyes.
“W-well, you see...” Anthony began, only to trail off. Kindly, Ian took over, “My ex broke up with me here, in this very room.” A look of deep sadness crossed his features. What Ian said wasn't entirely a lie, in fact, it was closer to the truth than he had hoped to mention. During that day, after the kiss, both Anthony and Ian swore not to kiss each other again and ruined any chance of a relationship they could have had. And yet, even back then, the thought of a relationship with Anthony didn't gross Ian out.
Melanie instantly sped to Ian's side and hugged him, “She must have been a real bitch!” She spoke her words of comfort.
Ian hugged her back and replied whilst looking directly at Anthony; “Yes, she was...” Anthony's expression was priceless. It was a mix of confusion and almost-annoyance. He was probably wondering why Ian was looking at him as he spoke.
“It doesn't matter anymore though, I have you.” Ian said simply, no longer mourning the loss of an imaginary girlfriend. His words made Melanie extremely happy, he considered it something to be proud of.
“I'm surprised he even had a girlfriend back then.” Kalel muttered under her breath.
Anthony shot her a warning look before turning his attention to a nearby whiteboard. He picked up a whiteboard marker and wrote the words 'Natasha B. sucks', faking an attempt in trying to cheer Ian up and making up a name for the imaginary girlfriend at the same time.
The fake attempt was successful, making Ian laugh; “Thanks Ant.” He broke the hug with Melanie, walked over to the board, stole Anthony's marker and took his revenge on the imaginary Natasha B.
“Wait, how come you've never told me about her?” Melanie asked, searching Ian's face for an answer.
“Because she isn't worth mentioning.” Ian answered with composure.
00000
After the group finished violating the school, they made their way to the parking lot. It was still as grey as ever, Ian noted, despite all of the cars still remaining which indicated that the reunion was still ongoing. The smosh duo were going to be damned by their manager but sometimes, you just couldn't expect them to follow the rules.
The group decided to just take their seats in the car and get out of the cold as fast as possible. Kalel put on the air conditioning to warm the now-freezing car up whilst Anthony started the engine. They were out of the parking lot in record time, the car ride home was, however, uneventful. It left room for Ian's mind to wonder in between exchanges with Melanie and the rest of the group.
It was apparent that Ian's feelings for Anthony weren't that of a normal best friend. And he definitely wasn't about to show Anthony how he felt because he was certain Anthony didn't reciprocate his feelings... Besides, he still loved Melanie. His feelings for Melanie only made his mind so much more troubled; his heart screamed for Ian to tell Anthony about his feelings, but his mind was against it. He was in an internal conflict that wasn't about to stop.
His thoughts were interrupted by the motion of the car stopping and Melanie quite literally dragging Ian out a few moments later.
“I'm spending the night at your house, okay?”
Ian just nodded, drifting through the remainder of the evening.
0000
The next few days were filled with Ian's thoughts slowly coming to the conclusion that his mind was not winning the internal battle. The most clear contributor event towards this whole realisation was one of the filming days, in which Ian was forced to be in very close proximity with Anthony for one of the scenes. It was a flawed scene and had to be taken many times due to Ian's unwillingness. Some of the footage even made it to their blooper video. Ian, however, couldn't shake the strange feeling he had always felt for Anthony grow at an unbearably fast rate during the shoot. That was the main reason he was so reluctant to film the scene.
Ian, however, did care about Melanie and he wasn't about to mess things up because of his crush on Anthony. He was going to get past this.
Groggily, Ian glanced at the computer clock, it was 1:14am. He and Anthony had been editing a new video for the past few hours. They had been so absorbed by the task of editing that they had forgotten to eat.
Having decided to finally take a break and actually walk to a nearby fastfood place, in order to clear their minds, they put on their coats and walked out. It was an unusual occurrence, for the two to walk to get actual food, especially so late at night. Not many places were open so late and it was much more dangerous. But for some unknown reason, it helped to clear their minds on nights filled with editing and prepared them for the upcoming hours of work.
They didn't try to make conversation to pass their time, they were both mentally exhausted. But the longer the walked, the less tired they felt. The cool night air was like caffeine. It was their saviour. The night had already enveloped the streets and the street lamps were one of the few light sources present. The light somehow warmed up the scene filled with cool air and words yet to be spoken but lost along the way.
“You know...the kiss, it sort of changed me.” Anthony suddenly spoke, breaking the silence, his voice hesitant. “I mean...” He trailed off.
It took a while for Ian to process what his companion had said, his brain still barely able to function.
“I know what you mean...” Ian finally replied, smiling to himself, “It changed me too.” He paused, considering his next words, “Sometimes I wonder why nothing more happened...”
“Nothing happened because we're not gay, Ian” Their brains seemed to slowly awaken from their fatigue as the conversation progressed. The dim light from the surrounding lampposts made Anthony's skin appear pale. Ian knew what he meant; by not being together they were protecting their reputation as well as protecting themselves. But he also knew that this reason alone wouldn't have stopped them.
“We both know that it's not a question of being gay, Anthony.” His voice stern, Ian sounded almost demanding.
Anthony's head dropped, hanging low, his hair misplaced by the wind, his expression hidden. It might as well have been non-existent.
After a while of tense silence, a question cut through the air; “We were both scared, weren't we?” Ian's voice broke towards the end of his question. The overwhelming surge of feelings he had been trying to hide for the past few days found a way to escape in the form of one, single tear.
Finally, Anthony looked up after what seemed to like an eternity. He nodded a minuscule nod, agreeing with his statement as a regretful look found its rightful place on his features. However, the question that followed was what took Ian by surprise; “Do you still have feelings for me, like you used to?”
Ian stopped walking and stared wide eyed at Anthony's face, causing his companion halt. He wanted to believe that his best friends' features were the very image of hopefulness, but he knew better. “Why do you want to know?” His voice wore the undertone of tension as beginnings of fear revealed themselves in his blue orbs.
Disappointment wrote itself onto Anthony's features, obviously displeased at Ian's response. “Because...I...I still feel something for you.” He looked right into Ian's eyes as he spoke, determination amongst other, undecipherable feelings showing in his own irises. “Ever since that god-damn reunion, I couldn't stop thinking about the...incident. And since then, I've realised...that...I feel something for you.”
Ian was rendered speechless. Relief and something along the lines of happiness painted themselves on the blank, empty canvas deep within his mind. Over the past few days his mind pondered so many things, and finally, he knew the answer to one of them; he had finally realised what Melanie was missing. The dots finally connected and Ian could safely say that the thing she was missing was... Anthony's laugh, face, touch...Anthony's everything. It was Anthony who he wanted, no, needed. Melanie was amazing, but Anthony was so much more. The tall man was Ian's oxygen. Only then, after his realisation, did he find the courage to reply;
“I-I...” Ian tried to speak, but his voice wouldn't let him finish the sentence. Instead, he found himself wanting to express his feelings in a totally different way. And Ian let himself do just that: “I'm sorry but I'll have to break that promise...” He leaned forward, and, seeing as Anthony didn't move an inch, he pressed his lips gently against his in a sweet mockery of a proper kiss.
To his surprise, Ian found the boys' lips pressing back against his with something akin to desperation. His entire being melted once he felt arms wrapping around his frame, making Ian drown in blissful ecstasy.
This was the beginning of something new for the both of them. Something new, scary and undecided. And neither was against the future.