well i haven't posted in this in a long time, like i mentioned before i've been writing mostly on paper, but i feel right now as if it constricts my thoughts as i can't pen nearly as fast as i can type ( Read more... )

LONG time for this shit. ive been mostly writing on paper, now. lifee.. is ok. but not at the same time. lately, i've been feeling like life is more than it seems, but everything i want seems just a tiny bit out of reach, always. i've been completely single for about a year now, as absolutely no person piques my interest in that sort of way, and ( Read more... )

my life is completely the opposite of what it used to be, and what i wanted it to be. used to be about love, fun and enjoying every second of every day... now it's devoid of all those things and just seems to be a rush to get to the next day, to make more of that paper shit that used to mean literally nothing to me.

every day i wonder if i'm in a dream. every day i feel like i'm in a dream. it feels like i wake up from a fake dream unto the biggest dream of them all. makes me wonder how necessary everything is. i just wish there was oneperson who could show me, prove to me.

reading this thing is really weird. don't really know how it makes me feel. i'm no longer depressed, i think. just neutral. completely indifferent. i think i'd rather be depressed most of the time. don't know what to do

woww. idk. im such a fucking weird motherfucker. i seriously probably hate everyone ive been associated with the past 2-3 years. but then again i think everyone has grown up except me. fuuucked up.

eh. blah blah, same old stuff. kinda like someone new, pretty cool i guess. finding out shit is kinda ridiculous, how someone can act SO staunchly against people acting a certain way, berating people for hours, acting so condescending toward them, like they're scum, but turn around and act the same way, kind of disgusting. not that it's any of my ( Read more... )

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhm. almost 18... haha, wow. weird. i dont really know what to do anymore? i feel so stuck. feel so damn alone most of the time. i kind of want to do soemthing ridiculously brash and just up and move to florida or something, start completely over. my neighborhood is turning to such shit, and if eel like this entire place is just so ( Read more... )

blalal hate dumbass coincidences, of course that would happen. how ridiculous that I would realize something so important/obvious JUST today, weeks after it happened, and she would call me, and tell me what i did. UGH. fucking hate everything.

having a good memory is a fuckin curse. i don't care if i've said it before.