so we had band camp this week/weekend. sat. to wens. it went fairly well. better than expected but worse than I could have hoped. the girls that were there did a really good job and I was really proud of them. they worked hard, but few of them have a ways to go. others not so impressive, and those were the girls that left for some kind of sports ( Read more... )

wow I guess I was pretty drunk last night. my entry doesn't even make sence. at all in the least bit. I can't even figure out what I was trying to write ( Read more... )

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. how sould i fell right now. completely lost and helpless.

amd in amd a half hey betevrre youanf half og him was tp emver O vm

though half of me is gone the lonesome part is there..............

I can not find the other half...........

where are you love? where are you???

so I started re-listening to ani's to the teeth album, benton just got it for me. I totally relate to it completely at the moment of the path that I am traveling. boy still hasn't called me and I'm begining to wonder if he will. I feel that I can't wait around for ever because what if another door opens and I don't even notice it and it's the path ( Read more... )

so I spent the last 6 nights drunk, some people would tell you that it's not a good thing, well if your gonna tell me that than you can just shove a dick in your mouth and shut the fuck up ( Read more... )

sometimes I think I never want to be loved again, you know. like It really hurt the first time someone smashed my heart up, the second and third time ( provided from the same person) felt like I was dying and I still feel like I'm dying. it ended months ago and I still can't let go of it all. he loved me like no one else could and like no one else ( Read more... )

I want to thank every one who has gotten in touch with me via e-mail or phone calls about my last 2 entries, it really has touched me to the point of crying with everything that has been said and been done. And I wish I could say that things are better and easier because this morning I woke up feeling fab. and it was because of a dream I had where ( Read more... )

I just wrote this is pauls old joural, where I have come to find he has erased everything that every had to do with me. my god I feel like I never lived at all. this is what I wrote to him ( Read more... )

is it fucked up when you find things out about a person, and you never thought that things would happen the fucking way they did. After paul all I had was a little hope and little trust that people would listen to what I had to say and what I knew, and now it seems, not even seems but is true that things I thought could never happen have. and once ( Read more... )