[ongoing] Unwanted 3/5 - Ohmiya
Unwanted (3/5) || ica_90 || Beta by: yaoilicious_53 ||Ohmiya || Drama, Angst, Probably fluff ending || NC-17 just to be safe
Three
Ohno remembers how it happened two years ago very well.
Everyone around him had doubt. Even he had it too, wondering if that closeness did mean something to Nino. Nino to him was never more than a friend, and thinking about the possibilities that Nino might develop feelings for him scared him. They were so close that Ohno didn’t want to lose Nino as a friend.
Throughout the years, Nino had always been there for him, supporting him in times of insecurity and hardship. It was Nino who encouraged him to pursue his dream; telling him that he could become an artist even by being an idol. It was Nino who told him that ‘no one knows what’s going to happen in the future. Perhaps I have more fans than you do now but, who knows, your fans might become triple mine in the future’ when he was struggling, thinking that he was no one in the eyes of the newly-debuted-Arashi’s fans.
But as the years passed, Ohno noticed how the closeness leaned to something else. When Nino chose to snuggle close to him in the greenroom, touch him frequently, it scared him thinking that he might have given the man a hope he shouldn’t have.
And it happened.
***
“I love you,” Nino had said to him that day. He was perplexed hearing the confession that came in an unexpected time. And looking at how serious Nino was when he said that, a wave of panic gushed in his veins.
He didn’t want to hurt Nino.
“You don’t have to tell me the same, Oh-chan. I just want you to know,”
Hearing those words from Nino didn’t ease his worries. He didn’t know how to react, let alone say a word. When Nino left the scene with a bitter smile, Ohno got lost in deep thought on how he should tell the man that he couldn’t return his feelings.
And things got worse from there.
It had become so awkward ever since the unexpected confession. Before he knew it, he started to find a way to avoid Nino. Their conversations had become lesser and lesser, and most of the time; he chose to get close with the other members just to stop Nino from having skinship with him.
He didn’t know why he had started to feel annoyed with Nino. Even being in the same room with the man had made him feel suffocated, feeling the urge to leave the room in instant. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Nino as it would only make his blood boil with anger, even though the man never did anything that caused it.
But Nino never bugged him with the confession again. Not even once. Ohno knew Nino had noticed the distance that he had created and the man had respected the distance.
Nino wanted Ohno to decide by himself. Rejection would surely hurt him, but at the same time, he didn’t want to lose Ohno as a friend.
Except, Ohno changed it.
When one night he received a call from Ohno, he thought it would mean something.
“Come to my place,” Ohno’s drunken voice could be heard at the other line.
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you my answer when you come,”
And so Nino went there with hope raised up, only minutes before his pride got stepped on merciless by the guy.
The door to Ohno’s house was left unlocked when Nino arrived. It was pitch black that Nino had start to have these uneasy feels inside his stomach. Slowly, he pushed the door, closed it properly before he made his way to the only room that was lit up.
That was when his ears caught feminine giggles coming from inside the room. His stomach churned. His heart broke. All of sudden, it felt so hot inside the place that his eyes felt like burning, holding up tears that were waiting to fall.
He pushed the door open slowly, not wanting to make a scene. But only god knows how much hurt he felt inside when he saw Ohno there on the bed straddling a naked girl under him, kissing her, letting her moan his name as he did her.
As he watched, he realized how small he was. How mundane he was to Ohno. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t have what Ohno wanted. He didn’t need Ohno to tell him his answer; he knew what it was going to be.
But then, Ohno stopped doing her, shifting his sight away from her to direct his cold stare on Nino. Nino was sure he saw a smirk on Ohno’s lips, making him hate Ohno almost instantly, for making him feel worthless.
“You’re here?” He heard Ohno asking. Still, he kept silent. Ohno sounded so drunk than ever that for once, Nino thought of forgiving him. But when he heard the man sarcastically chuckling at him, he knew he shouldn’t.
Especially because what Ohno said after had left a scar bleeding for the next three years.
“Why Nino?” Ohno asked, slowly moving away from the girl before he sat on the edge of the bed, facing Nino. Nino took a glance at her who was smiling triumphantly as she covered her naked body with Ohno’s blanket.
“Why what?” Nino asked, trying to hide the shivers in his voice.
“Why would you think that I’m going to love you too?”
Nino never had an answer to this. He stayed silent, hoping that Ohno would dismiss him so that the man would do whatever he wanted to do to the girl. But Ohno didn’t. And the bleeding scar of his heart kept widening.
“It’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Why are you in love with me? Doesn't it ever crossed to your head that you're being ridiculous?”
He had his answer now. For a while, they kept staring at each other, with Nino hoping Ohno would take his words back. Not because he was hoping for Ohno to love him; he had always known that it was rare for a straight guy to fall in love with a gay friend. All he wanted from Ohno was to acknowledge his love, accept it, or reject it while keeping their friendship. What a stupid thought, he thought by himself.
"So that is what you think about me?" Nino asked, chuckled bitterly when he saw the smirk on Ohno's face. "I got it-"
Ohno never took his words back.
“Go home, Nino. You’re no one compared to her-“ Ohno paused, smirking at him. “Or would you like to watch?”
He didn’t want to watch. Still, he stayed, burning the image and the sound inside his mind while bearing all the sadness and anger inside him. Ohno had given him a clear answer and Nino carved it inside his head, reminding himself again and again to stop and never love the man ever again.
“Thank you, Ohno,” Nino said, putting Ohno’s movement on halt. Their eyes met with him on top of the girl and Ohno saw how empty Nino’s eyes were as the man left his place.
***
“I just thought that, maybe, if he hated me, it would make it a lot easier for both of us. But then, he started creating spaces between us. No more talks. No more laughs. Before I knew it, I was longing for those moments with him,”
He pauses, observing Sho and Aiba’s faces for a reaction. Negative.
“I am such an idiot, aren’t I?” Ohno sighs.
“Totally,” Aiba responses, making Sho nudge him hard to keep quiet. Ohno sighs again.
“I love him. I just- God, I wasn’t thinking properly at that time. Now I just want him to be mine.”
“Marriage doesn’t mean you own someone, Ohno-kun,” Sho replies.
“You’re right,” Ohno says after a while. Even with this marriage, he doesn’t own Nino. What happened three years ago made Nino hate him and he deserves it.
“I really want to support the two of you for this whole thing, Ohno-kun. But-“ Sho pauses, biting his lips. “-I will sound selfish if I say this. But for Arashi’s sake, this shouldn’t happen,”
Silence.
But then, Sho grabs Ohno by his hand.
“But if you’re really going to go through this, please don’t hurt him again. It’s going to be tough,” Sho says.
Ohno really hates this -especially after causing trouble to his bandmates- but hearing Sho’s words and seeing a nod from Aiba, it is such a relief to have support from his bandmates.
It is a few minutes later when Johnny-san enters the room, Ohno starts to feel anxious again.
***
Nino can’t stop himself from shaking. How could Ohno do that to him when he had insulted his pride three years ago? How much insult does the man need to make him satisfied?
He walks as fast as he can, leaving the room where the urgent meeting was held, heading back to his room, feeling the need to leave the place as soon as possible. For once, he curses himself for being in Hawaii, and being married in this place. He doesn’t want this!
“Arghhh!” he yells in frustration. He opens the door to his room, letting the door close by itself before he throws himself on the bed, letting out more of his frustration by yelling against the pillow.
“That dumbass!” He curses Ohno.
His concern isn’t on his life alone. It was Arashi that he is most concerned about, and his family in Japan. What would his mom say? What would fans say? Of course, gay marriage is acceptable in Japan, but not idol marriage. And most importantly, he is married to Ohno, a guy who had called him ridiculous for hoping he would love him back.
It is hellish.
Until he turns around to see Jun standing in his room, leaning elegantly against the wall as he watches Nino with a smile on his lips.
_______________________________________________________________
A/N : Sorry, can't help it. Matsumiya is closes to me in my heart XD and sorry for the additional chapter. Last chapter on 30th? maybe
Three
Ohno remembers how it happened two years ago very well.
Everyone around him had doubt. Even he had it too, wondering if that closeness did mean something to Nino. Nino to him was never more than a friend, and thinking about the possibilities that Nino might develop feelings for him scared him. They were so close that Ohno didn’t want to lose Nino as a friend.
Throughout the years, Nino had always been there for him, supporting him in times of insecurity and hardship. It was Nino who encouraged him to pursue his dream; telling him that he could become an artist even by being an idol. It was Nino who told him that ‘no one knows what’s going to happen in the future. Perhaps I have more fans than you do now but, who knows, your fans might become triple mine in the future’ when he was struggling, thinking that he was no one in the eyes of the newly-debuted-Arashi’s fans.
But as the years passed, Ohno noticed how the closeness leaned to something else. When Nino chose to snuggle close to him in the greenroom, touch him frequently, it scared him thinking that he might have given the man a hope he shouldn’t have.
And it happened.
***
“I love you,” Nino had said to him that day. He was perplexed hearing the confession that came in an unexpected time. And looking at how serious Nino was when he said that, a wave of panic gushed in his veins.
He didn’t want to hurt Nino.
“You don’t have to tell me the same, Oh-chan. I just want you to know,”
Hearing those words from Nino didn’t ease his worries. He didn’t know how to react, let alone say a word. When Nino left the scene with a bitter smile, Ohno got lost in deep thought on how he should tell the man that he couldn’t return his feelings.
And things got worse from there.
It had become so awkward ever since the unexpected confession. Before he knew it, he started to find a way to avoid Nino. Their conversations had become lesser and lesser, and most of the time; he chose to get close with the other members just to stop Nino from having skinship with him.
He didn’t know why he had started to feel annoyed with Nino. Even being in the same room with the man had made him feel suffocated, feeling the urge to leave the room in instant. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Nino as it would only make his blood boil with anger, even though the man never did anything that caused it.
But Nino never bugged him with the confession again. Not even once. Ohno knew Nino had noticed the distance that he had created and the man had respected the distance.
Nino wanted Ohno to decide by himself. Rejection would surely hurt him, but at the same time, he didn’t want to lose Ohno as a friend.
Except, Ohno changed it.
When one night he received a call from Ohno, he thought it would mean something.
“Come to my place,” Ohno’s drunken voice could be heard at the other line.
“Why?”
“I’ll tell you my answer when you come,”
And so Nino went there with hope raised up, only minutes before his pride got stepped on merciless by the guy.
The door to Ohno’s house was left unlocked when Nino arrived. It was pitch black that Nino had start to have these uneasy feels inside his stomach. Slowly, he pushed the door, closed it properly before he made his way to the only room that was lit up.
That was when his ears caught feminine giggles coming from inside the room. His stomach churned. His heart broke. All of sudden, it felt so hot inside the place that his eyes felt like burning, holding up tears that were waiting to fall.
He pushed the door open slowly, not wanting to make a scene. But only god knows how much hurt he felt inside when he saw Ohno there on the bed straddling a naked girl under him, kissing her, letting her moan his name as he did her.
As he watched, he realized how small he was. How mundane he was to Ohno. He wasn’t a girl, he didn’t have what Ohno wanted. He didn’t need Ohno to tell him his answer; he knew what it was going to be.
But then, Ohno stopped doing her, shifting his sight away from her to direct his cold stare on Nino. Nino was sure he saw a smirk on Ohno’s lips, making him hate Ohno almost instantly, for making him feel worthless.
“You’re here?” He heard Ohno asking. Still, he kept silent. Ohno sounded so drunk than ever that for once, Nino thought of forgiving him. But when he heard the man sarcastically chuckling at him, he knew he shouldn’t.
Especially because what Ohno said after had left a scar bleeding for the next three years.
“Why Nino?” Ohno asked, slowly moving away from the girl before he sat on the edge of the bed, facing Nino. Nino took a glance at her who was smiling triumphantly as she covered her naked body with Ohno’s blanket.
“Why what?” Nino asked, trying to hide the shivers in his voice.
“Why would you think that I’m going to love you too?”
Nino never had an answer to this. He stayed silent, hoping that Ohno would dismiss him so that the man would do whatever he wanted to do to the girl. But Ohno didn’t. And the bleeding scar of his heart kept widening.
“It’s disgusting. You’re disgusting. Why are you in love with me? Doesn't it ever crossed to your head that you're being ridiculous?”
He had his answer now. For a while, they kept staring at each other, with Nino hoping Ohno would take his words back. Not because he was hoping for Ohno to love him; he had always known that it was rare for a straight guy to fall in love with a gay friend. All he wanted from Ohno was to acknowledge his love, accept it, or reject it while keeping their friendship. What a stupid thought, he thought by himself.
"So that is what you think about me?" Nino asked, chuckled bitterly when he saw the smirk on Ohno's face. "I got it-"
Ohno never took his words back.
“Go home, Nino. You’re no one compared to her-“ Ohno paused, smirking at him. “Or would you like to watch?”
He didn’t want to watch. Still, he stayed, burning the image and the sound inside his mind while bearing all the sadness and anger inside him. Ohno had given him a clear answer and Nino carved it inside his head, reminding himself again and again to stop and never love the man ever again.
“Thank you, Ohno,” Nino said, putting Ohno’s movement on halt. Their eyes met with him on top of the girl and Ohno saw how empty Nino’s eyes were as the man left his place.
***
“I just thought that, maybe, if he hated me, it would make it a lot easier for both of us. But then, he started creating spaces between us. No more talks. No more laughs. Before I knew it, I was longing for those moments with him,”
He pauses, observing Sho and Aiba’s faces for a reaction. Negative.
“I am such an idiot, aren’t I?” Ohno sighs.
“Totally,” Aiba responses, making Sho nudge him hard to keep quiet. Ohno sighs again.
“I love him. I just- God, I wasn’t thinking properly at that time. Now I just want him to be mine.”
“Marriage doesn’t mean you own someone, Ohno-kun,” Sho replies.
“You’re right,” Ohno says after a while. Even with this marriage, he doesn’t own Nino. What happened three years ago made Nino hate him and he deserves it.
“I really want to support the two of you for this whole thing, Ohno-kun. But-“ Sho pauses, biting his lips. “-I will sound selfish if I say this. But for Arashi’s sake, this shouldn’t happen,”
Silence.
But then, Sho grabs Ohno by his hand.
“But if you’re really going to go through this, please don’t hurt him again. It’s going to be tough,” Sho says.
Ohno really hates this -especially after causing trouble to his bandmates- but hearing Sho’s words and seeing a nod from Aiba, it is such a relief to have support from his bandmates.
It is a few minutes later when Johnny-san enters the room, Ohno starts to feel anxious again.
***
Nino can’t stop himself from shaking. How could Ohno do that to him when he had insulted his pride three years ago? How much insult does the man need to make him satisfied?
He walks as fast as he can, leaving the room where the urgent meeting was held, heading back to his room, feeling the need to leave the place as soon as possible. For once, he curses himself for being in Hawaii, and being married in this place. He doesn’t want this!
“Arghhh!” he yells in frustration. He opens the door to his room, letting the door close by itself before he throws himself on the bed, letting out more of his frustration by yelling against the pillow.
“That dumbass!” He curses Ohno.
His concern isn’t on his life alone. It was Arashi that he is most concerned about, and his family in Japan. What would his mom say? What would fans say? Of course, gay marriage is acceptable in Japan, but not idol marriage. And most importantly, he is married to Ohno, a guy who had called him ridiculous for hoping he would love him back.
It is hellish.
Until he turns around to see Jun standing in his room, leaning elegantly against the wall as he watches Nino with a smile on his lips.
_______________________________________________________________
A/N : Sorry, can't help it. Matsumiya is closes to me in my heart XD and sorry for the additional chapter. Last chapter on 30th? maybe