"If you have come here to help me, you are wasting our time."

[icaruslived]

He says this, and your world cracks.

It should not have, and you know that. It wasn't as if anything had changed, not really. He was still there, hunched over on his corner of the sidewalk, dark eyes focused on the tiny wooden figure he was whittling, occasionally flicking up to smile at a passerby.

He was still, probably, your friend. Two

Comments

[reckless_blues]

You clutch the wad of bills in your hand tighter. Like a religious symbol. Or a lover's hand.

A lot of people feel like this about money. The protagonist too, it seems ... Word shaped like an ice pick ... I liked that line too. I liked the ending a lot, especially the way it was written - you can smell someone's scent like that when they hold you, it almost envelopes you before anything else ... it was visceral to read, I felt that paragraph.

[icaruslived]

Thank you very much. And yeah, that attitude about money is surely a thing, isn't it?

[bleodswean]

I like this. I especially enjoyed how out of control the conversation got inside the protagonist's head.

[icaruslived]

Thank you very much for reading along and for your kind words!

[rayaso]

I enjoyed this quite a bit. You write good dialogue.

[icaruslived]

I try! I tend to find myself retreating into my character's heads, so I'm trying explicitly to write more dialogue now.

Thanks for liking the piece!

[dreamsreflected]

such strong emotions. really beautifully written imagery in this piece.

[icaruslived]

That was what I tried to focus on - well, it's a character piece, you can guess that :P Thank you very much for your regard!

[halfshellvenus]

Such a beautiful, wistful feeling of was-or-might-have-been, with the protagonist not entirely sure of what he/she did wrong or how to fix it.

[icaruslived]

That's always the problem, isn't it? It never feels like you've done anything wrong...

Thank you, as always, for your kind words!