Let him dabble. I've got one dot in all kinds of skills that I picked up and put back down later. Sometimes, years later, I pick them back up again long enough to make some minor something or other. Use loaner armor or insist that he help build his own. You know from the way ZEM started up that making good enough armor is not difficult and he can improve his ugly start-up stuff one piece at a time like we did. And the construction is a way to learn a new skill in itself. Maybe he's just not a fighter. Let him dabble a bit with the Arts as well. Apprentice him out (of course you can't actually call it apprenticing - wouldn't want to confuse people with actual definitions here) to various people who make things. Teach him the heraldry of your local group's members and use him as a page (again, not using the SCA definition here). There's lots to the SCA that isn't fighting, and not all of it even involves sweating. Making cool stuff is rewarding too
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Perhaps I did not describe the issue clearly enough......as I said, I do not care what he does, so long as he is willing to put the effort in to do it well. That's my concern. He seems, based upon our discussions, to be looking for a fighting style that is nice and easy and each thing we talk about, once he realizes that its going to require effort on his part, he turns away from and looks for something else without even giving it a chance
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I knew where you were coming from on this. My point is that if it's a case of not wanting to sweat, there are non-sweaty things to do. Is the issue that he wants to be an instant master of something, or is it that he tries things and decides it doesn't interest him enough to justify the effort? When I was starting in the SCA I was older than Alex is now, but had the "instant master" delusion - lots of people do, because you see somebody make it look easy and you assume it's easy. Later I just didn't keep an interest in anything I picked up. I do think it's interesting that you keep saying you don't care what he does, but all of your examples are fighting. And I think you might be fulfilling your own prophecies. You say that when Alex comes to you with a new interest you "discuss what it's going to take" to do it and he gets discouraged. If there are so few kids in the area, why redistribute the armor so quickly? It's not like the stuff goes stale (well, armor might - some of mine has turned green), and he might pick it up again.
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Normally I would agree with beau_nidle, and even here to some extent I do agree. We don't all find our passion early, or the things we are good at. Some of us are good at things that are more esoteric or that are more relevant as we get older
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Thank you. Yes, my biggest concern is that he seems to be looking for something that requires minimal effort and will gain him maximum reward and not perusing something he enjoys and putting forth the effort to be good at it.
Its tough for Alex in general. Not only because of his age but because of who he is and the limitations (or at the very least difficulties) that come with that.
We have tried LOTS of thing. He LOVES playing Warhammer / 40K yet he will not take the time t learn the rules thoroughly and continues to lose because he also will not accept Tactical advice from people who win consistently....but he will give advice to people who beat him consistently...
Once again, its a game that requires effort to learn and be good at. He likes to play it and, of course, is discouraged by his constant defeats yet is uninterested in making the effort to get better.
I desperately WANT Alex to excel at something......anything but he will not put forth the effort and I cannot MAKE him do it.....so what's left? How do I "sway" him?
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His tendency is, as I said, to seek out something that sounds easy...not to see someone make something look easy.
Its a character trait that reveals itself in a number of aspects of life for him, its just been most obvious in his SCA "life"
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(The comment has been removed)
We have tried LOTS of thing. He LOVES playing Warhammer / 40K yet he will not take the time t learn the rules thoroughly and continues to lose because he also will not accept Tactical advice from people who win consistently....but he will give advice to people who beat him consistently...
Once again, its a game that requires effort to learn and be good at. He likes to play it and, of course, is discouraged by his constant defeats yet is uninterested in making the effort to get better.
I desperately WANT Alex to excel at something......anything but he will not put forth the effort and I cannot MAKE him do it.....so what's left? How do I "sway" him?
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