Endurance Test Beyond Belief
A person can only take so much, before totally flipping out and doing something so crazy, irrational, and almost unbelievable.
Bellevue, the conditions, the staff, my asshole roommate screaming in polish every 10 seconds, blaring spanish television as loud as possible, the fact I still couldn’t really move too much, the constant pain of the 45 surgeries, not to bother mentioning all the little irrelevant psychological things like losing my cats, and all my belongings to some mysterious fire I don’t remember at all.
All that made getting the news just too much to bear when they told me, “You know you are going to have to be on large amount of methadone for a really long time, possibly years…”
It wasn’t the methadone really, it was the whole scene. Truckin off to meth clinics twice a day, to get my fix no matter when and where I was, chained to yet another set of bureaucratic assholes with the worlds largest fucking chain known to man. This was about the worst news ever.
Methodone is worse than real opiates, in that you cant just kick it. It is SO fucking addictive most people don’t even consider any method of getting off it other than reduction in doses by tiny amounts over really long periods of time. And the amount I was on was looking like a year or more.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Leave it to doctors to invent in a lab some chemical that its MORE addictive than heroin to get people off heroin. Course since there is no buzz there is no real market for it, what fucking psycho would take something with no buzz and the worst sick known to man.
That was it. I wasn’t putting up with this stupid doctor crap anymore. I told them right then and there I absolutely wasn’t taking 1 more tiny drop of methadone ever again!
This didn’t go over too well. The nurses for one thing, had to fill out a piece of paper every time someone refused to take a medication, and this ment 2 pieces of paper every day I was still going to be there, and THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE!
This was actually helpful to me in that I got a lot of joy watching them have to stop what they were doing every day to fill out the little piece of paper about me refusing my methadone. Of course they countered this horrendous fate of paperwork by bringing my dose of methadone into me EVERY DAY AND WAVING IT IN MY FUCKING FACE!
If anyone deserves to go straight to fucking hell, these goddamn asshole nurses do. Waving drugs in someones face who is attempting to do the impossible.
There is nothing in the entire world harder to endure physically or psychologically than to quit cold turkey a significant dose of methadone. PERIOD. I crossed drowning in your own spit repeatedly for days on end off my list of the worst thing possible. I tried to imagine anything worse, and if there is I don’t want to know about it.
The 1st day went ok pretty much, though I was a little tense.
When I woke up the 2nd day and stared into the mind-bending stomach churning abyss that was ahead of me I cried.
Bellevue, the conditions, the staff, my asshole roommate screaming in polish every 10 seconds, blaring spanish television as loud as possible, the fact I still couldn’t really move too much, the constant pain of the 45 surgeries, not to bother mentioning all the little irrelevant psychological things like losing my cats, and all my belongings to some mysterious fire I don’t remember at all.
All that made getting the news just too much to bear when they told me, “You know you are going to have to be on large amount of methadone for a really long time, possibly years…”
It wasn’t the methadone really, it was the whole scene. Truckin off to meth clinics twice a day, to get my fix no matter when and where I was, chained to yet another set of bureaucratic assholes with the worlds largest fucking chain known to man. This was about the worst news ever.
Methodone is worse than real opiates, in that you cant just kick it. It is SO fucking addictive most people don’t even consider any method of getting off it other than reduction in doses by tiny amounts over really long periods of time. And the amount I was on was looking like a year or more.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!
Leave it to doctors to invent in a lab some chemical that its MORE addictive than heroin to get people off heroin. Course since there is no buzz there is no real market for it, what fucking psycho would take something with no buzz and the worst sick known to man.
That was it. I wasn’t putting up with this stupid doctor crap anymore. I told them right then and there I absolutely wasn’t taking 1 more tiny drop of methadone ever again!
This didn’t go over too well. The nurses for one thing, had to fill out a piece of paper every time someone refused to take a medication, and this ment 2 pieces of paper every day I was still going to be there, and THAT WAS UNACCEPTABLE!
This was actually helpful to me in that I got a lot of joy watching them have to stop what they were doing every day to fill out the little piece of paper about me refusing my methadone. Of course they countered this horrendous fate of paperwork by bringing my dose of methadone into me EVERY DAY AND WAVING IT IN MY FUCKING FACE!
If anyone deserves to go straight to fucking hell, these goddamn asshole nurses do. Waving drugs in someones face who is attempting to do the impossible.
There is nothing in the entire world harder to endure physically or psychologically than to quit cold turkey a significant dose of methadone. PERIOD. I crossed drowning in your own spit repeatedly for days on end off my list of the worst thing possible. I tried to imagine anything worse, and if there is I don’t want to know about it.
The 1st day went ok pretty much, though I was a little tense.
When I woke up the 2nd day and stared into the mind-bending stomach churning abyss that was ahead of me I cried.