Fic: Never To Break You (32) FINAL CHAPTER
This is finally it - the last chapter!!! Thanks so much for all your amazing comments and for reading through this whole entire fic. I love you guys <3
The next day passes in near silence. Kevin spends morning skate avoiding Ryan’s gaze and Alex’s attempts to talk to him, doesn’t realise how distant he’s been until he’s back at home, Maxim hesitating in the hallway.
“Aren’t you…?” Kevin waves a hand towards the bedroom, and Maxim nods.
“Yeah,” he says, and Kevin realises he was waiting for permission. That stings, but at least Maxim ends up in bed at his side, where he belongs. Maxim passes out almost immediately, fast even for him. It takes Kevin a little longer, as he lies awake and thinks about how Maxim obviously didn’t sleep at all last night. All day, Kevin’s wanted to ask how to make all this better, but when he’s quiet, Maxim gets even more reserved, this cycle that ends up in silence, and Kevin can’t just ask because his failure to fix something the right way is what caused this. Maxim said it himself, there was no right way, and Kevin should have been able to find one.
He hasn’t been able to bring himself to say much to Maxim all day, even right up until game time. Kevin hasn’t felt this anxious around him in a long time, maybe never. The entire foundation of what they are has been rocked to its core, because Maxim didn’t want to let Kevin fix it, doesn’t think there was even a right way to do everything, and if there’s no right way, that can only mean that everything is wrong, and Maxim doesn’t want to let him fix it because he can’t, can’t do anything but make it worse.
Kevin tries to push everything aside once he steps onto the ice. The crowd’s screaming loudly enough to help with blocking everything out, and Kevin concentrates on the puck on his stick as they start warmups. The Flames come onto the ice without fanfare, the crowd still cheering for their team.
“Hey, man,” Keith steals Kevin’s puck, grins, “feelin’ good about this game,” he says before he skates off, presumably to seal someone else’s puck, like it’s some kind of pregame ritual for him. Kevin skates over towards the bench, but he’s stopped by Ryan at the blueline first.
“You good?” Ryan asks, and Kevin shrugs a shoulder.
“Good enough.”
“Real comforting.” Ryan pushes his helmet back a little, gives Kevin a searching look. Kevin looks over his shoulder to where some of their teammates are stretching, Maxim among them. He talks to Pavel every now and then, until David comes over and distracts Pavel. “Right?” Ryan says.
“Yeah,” Kevin replies.
“Didn’t think you’d be into it.”
“Sure.”
“Top or bottom?”
“What?!” Kevin jerks his gaze back to Ryan, who’s smirking. “You’re an asshole.”
“Relax, I just asked whether you’re going home after the game.”
“Oh, yeah. I am.” Kevin’s gaze drifts back over to Maxim.
“You’re lucky I’m not taking your consent to heart,” Ryan shakes his head, “you literally just agreed to a threesome.”
“Gross, man.”
“That’ll teach you to listen.”
Kevin would reply, but then he sees Maxim suddenly fall off-balance, falling backwards from where he kneels on the ice. Maxim just sits there, frozen, watching something across the ice. Kevin turns to look, completely ignoring Ryan now, but he doesn’t see anything. He looks back to Maxim, who’s unsteadily getting to his feet, takes a few shaky strides, and Kevin knows something’s wrong. He doesn’t know what, but there’s something, and he aches to fix it - but he can’t. Kevin can’t fix anything.
“You playin’ on Alex’s line today?” he asks Ryan, who nods.
“Who’d split us up? Psychic connection, man.”
“That’s freakish.”
“Usefully freakish,” Ryan corrects, hits Kevin’s shin with his stick. “Think we play with Max a few times, too.”
“Kevin?” He almost doesn’t hear the quiet voice, but when he turns, Maxim’s next to him. “Kevin, I need - I need to- can I talk to you?” Maxim’s biting his lip hard, eyes filled with the kind of fear Kevin never, never wanted to see again. I need you, that look is saying, and Kevin grabs him by the sleeve, pulls him towards the bench. Maxim’s silent as they leave the ice, and when they get into the hallway, he grabs onto Kevin’s hand, holds tight. Kevin pulls open the first door they come to, the back door of the equipment storage room.
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asks, closing the door behind them. Maxim doesn’t reply, just wraps his arms around Kevin, buries his face in Kevin’s jersey.
“He’s here,” Maxim says in a small voice, “he’s here, he’s here.” The words are wavering, threaten to dissolve into sobs.
“Who’s here?” Kevin asks, feels the way Maxim shakes in his arms.
“Chase,” Maxim whispers. It’s like Kevin’s suddenly in a place he’s never been - with Maxim when he was on the AHL team, as Chase slowly tore him apart. This is the way it must have been - except Maxim was alone, there wasn’t anyone to protect him from what was happening. During that season, Maxim would have been hiding in a back room and trembling with fear alone.
“It’s okay,” Kevin says softly, “I’ll take care of it, okay? You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“But he’s here,” Maxim whimpers. “Kevin…”
“Yeah,” Kevin kisses him gently, “but so am I.”
He can hear the crowd gearing up, knows it means they’re about to start the game. “Let’s go,” Kevin says, kisses Maxim once more. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” Maxim draws in a slow breath, hugs him one last time. “He won’t hurt you this time,” Kevin promises.
“Tu me sauves,” Maxim mumbles against Kevin’s jersey.
For the first time, Kevin wishes he was on offence. He doesn’t want to be stranded on the defence end of the bench, wants to be able to sit next to Maxim, just be physically close to him, because he can see from here that Maxim’s terrified. None of their teammates will pick up on just how scared he is. Kevin forces himself to watch the game, scans the ice for Chase. It’s not long before Kevin spots him, right as play stops. Chase is talking to a teammate as the refs have a quick word. Just the sight of him makes something in Kevin burn, a seething anger lit on fire, relentlessly fueled. Kevin wants to shove him up against the boards, hit him, take it out on him because he hurt Maxim. It’s his fault that Maxim is over there, jaw tight and eyes downcast, feeling a terror Kevin can’t protect him from enough.
Part of him wants to hurt Chase for himself, because everything Chase destroyed that Maxim gave to Chase - Kevin wants that, that was supposed to be his, Maxim’s first love should have been perfect and reciprocated and every fucking bit as perfect as Maxim is. He should have been the teammate Maxim met and fell in love with, because Kevin would have loved him, loved him like he does now. If Chase didn’t exist, Maxim would have made it to the Canucks locker room without having to suffer so deeply, Kevin could have met him there, they would have everything without Maxim having to suffer the way he did. Everything that’s wrong is all because Chase decided that Maxim was worthless, decided to break him and ruin him, for no fucking reason at all.
The second his shift starts, Kevin doesn’t waste any time at all. He smashes Chase against the boards the first chance he gets, a flawless hit that makes the fans scream gleefully, and Chase is still recovering as Kevin sends the puck up to Henrik. Before his shift is over, Kevin’s laid two bone-shaking hipchecks on Chase, each more satisfying than the last. Kevin skates back to the bench, watches the next line go out. Alex and Ryan are both out, and Kevin can’t help but grin when he sees Ryan send Chase crashing into the net, for what appears to be no reason at all.
During the break, Maxim is still quiet, but he sits next to Kevin on the dressing room bench as they listen to AV talk, Maxim sitting as close as possible to Kevin.
“Doing okay?” Kevin asks as they head back out. Maxim nods; the fear in his dark eyes has calmed a little, but not enough to really convince Kevin he’s completely okay.
Kevin gets an assist on his next shift, but to him, the highlight is the hipcheck he gets at centre ice, clean and shudderingly, a hit that sends Chase flying. Chase hits the ice hard, and he gets right back up, but he’s grumbling, even if he doesn’t dare come after Kevin. After Kevin goes back, Daniel’s line trades with Ryan’s, this time flanked by Alex and Maxim. Kevin watches closely, but Chase never goes near Maxim, something that makes Kevin breathe just a little easier. Chase gets close at one point, but then Alex flat-out cross-checks him, and Kevin doesn’t miss the way Alex fistbumps Ryan on his way to the penalty box. Maxim scores on the penalty kill, sending the arena into deafening screams.
“Rookie’s good, eh?” Keith says, elbowing Kevin.
“He’s great,” Kevin grins. Maxim skates by his end of the bench to fistbump him, and he’s smiling so brightly that for a moment, it looks like he doesn’t even remember that Chase is on the ice.
They score again in the third, and Kevin gets in another two hits on Chase during his shifts. Chase draws more than his fair share of checks, Kevin notices, because Alex and Ryan both make a point of hitting him, and a few of their teammates seem to take an extra moment in a play to hit him if the opportunity arises. No one says anything about it during the game, and Kevin’s never felt more proud to be on this team.
They’re up two to one late in the third, as Kevin joins Ryan’s line on the ice. The hockey gods must really be on his side today, because Chase is out too, his measly ice time lining up with Kevin’s abundance of minutes. They’re in Calgary’s zone, Kevin hovering near the blue line as Ryan rushes in with the puck, a snappy series of passes between him and Alex as they dart around Chase and his d-partner easily, and Alex goes to score, but the puck bounces the wrong way. Kevin’s already looking to watch the Flames for their response, but Chase goes to block the puck, and before Kevin knows what’s happening, the goal horn’s going off, no Canuck even near the puck.
“Did he-” Kevin says aloud. Chase is staring at the net, motionless, as Alex throws his head back and laughs, Ryan hugging him and yelling something. Kevin skates to join them, lingers a few feet away to watch as Kiprusoff shoves at Chase’s shoulder, snarling.
“You forget what team you’re on?” he’s snapping, “what’s wrong with you?! Don’t fucking score on me!”
“Our net’s that way,” Ryan yells over at Chase, smirking, “you might wanna remember that for next time.” Chase doesn’t reply, looks Ryan over and just skates backwards. Ryan’s grin only widens.
Kevin’s grinning to himself as they skate back to the bench; Alex skates backwards beside Ryan, calls over to Chase, “our net’s over there!” and laughs, has to grab at Ryan’s arm to keep from falling over. Ryan shakes his head affectionately, tows Alex over to the bench. The scoreboard reflects their goal, and if hitting Chase felt good, humiliating him feels even better.
After the game, Kevin watches the Flames hurry into the locker room, and as he watches Chase disappear, hopes that this is the last time they see Chase with any kind of power over Maxim. Kevin heads after his teammates, and once in the locker room, Ryan comes over to Kevin’s locker, Alex trailing behind.
“Hey,” Ryan says quietly, tugs on Kevin’s jersey, “why were we trying to kill that Collins guy, anyway?” Kevin really doesn’t know what to think about this compulsion to hug Ryan all the time; it’s just unnatural.
“He’s an asshole,” Kevin explains. Ryan shrugs.
“Fair enough.”
“Fuck that guy,” Alex agrees wholeheartedly, and Kevin hides a smile.
“Exactly,” he says, glances over towards Maxim’s stall. Maxim meets his eye, gives Kevin the smile that makes him feel like he just saved the world.
Kevin’s pulled into the hallway for an interview afterwards, and the interviewer is a guy who’s always really nice, so Kevin can’t say no to him. He talks about the game for a bit, about their great work on PK’s and the talent of the rookies and his hope for the season. He also adds that he hopes Ryan will learn how to use GPS this season and not get them lost in foreign cities, because Ryan deserves it for the threesome trick.
Afterwards, Kevin heads back into the locker room to find Maxim. Maxim’s at his locker, buttoning up his shirt.
“Hey, Maxi,” Kevin says, the only words he can get out before Maxim throws his arms around him.
“Thank you,” Maxim says quietly, “I couldn’t have - anything, without you. Je t’aime, ma moitié,” he whispers, and Kevin can only hug him back, murmur I love you against his skin.
It feels like hours before Kevin’s finally getting into bed, Maxim crawling in next to him, yawning.
“Hey,” Maxim says softly, as Kevin strokes his arm slowly, nearly asleep, “I love you.”
Maybe this is what it is, to love Maxim. They can’t promise never to hurt each other, because it happened even when Kevin was doing his best, happened when Maxim was hurting and didn’t mean to inflict the same on Kevin. Maybe all Kevin can really promise, all Maxim can promise him, is to be here to put things back together. Kevin won’t have to cling to all the little things that connect Maxim to him anymore, because he can finally count on Maxim just being here to stay. Before, every connection was just another thread being woven into the fabric that would keep Maxim from disappearing ever again, but now, that’s become just a past part of what they are, something Kevin remembers but no longer has to fear. He’s not the only one with something to hold onto anymore; the way Maxim looks at him, calls him ma moitié with a promise in his eyes, Maxim needs Kevin just as much as Kevin needs him. And now, now Kevin can promise never to break him, can live assured that Maxim will keep his promise too, will never disappear, will always be here to put everything back together, where they can hold each other together. Between the two of them, they’ll never break again.
“I love you, Maxi,” Kevin whispers back. Kevin kisses Maxim long and slow, for all the goals they’ll score for each other, for all the kept promises, for all the days that will end with them together, all the mornings of sleepy kisses and nights of skin on skin, for everything they’ve become, everything they’ll ever be.
Two years ago, Kevin was watching a player he barely knew, with a fascination he couldn’t explain. It makes sense now, why he was so drawn to Maxim, why Kevin always felt such a burning need to find him, save him, protect him; it’s the same reason Maxim let him in, showed Kevin what was always missing. They always end up together in the end, because they’re never meant to be anywhere else, because Kevin’s the only one who knows how to save Maxim, and this entire time, Maxim’s been saving him too. Maxim makes Kevin forget his own name, forget everything he knew before Maxim, because that, that was just waiting to become whole. Maybe that’s where Maxim went, when he disappeared; he went to wait for the person who would be able to piece him back together, make him whole just by being there. The reason Kevin searched everywhere to find someone he didn’t even know yet is the same reason he’s here now, falling asleep with Maxim in his arms.
They are the two perfect, fragile pieces of this unbreakable whole.
The next day passes in near silence. Kevin spends morning skate avoiding Ryan’s gaze and Alex’s attempts to talk to him, doesn’t realise how distant he’s been until he’s back at home, Maxim hesitating in the hallway.
“Aren’t you…?” Kevin waves a hand towards the bedroom, and Maxim nods.
“Yeah,” he says, and Kevin realises he was waiting for permission. That stings, but at least Maxim ends up in bed at his side, where he belongs. Maxim passes out almost immediately, fast even for him. It takes Kevin a little longer, as he lies awake and thinks about how Maxim obviously didn’t sleep at all last night. All day, Kevin’s wanted to ask how to make all this better, but when he’s quiet, Maxim gets even more reserved, this cycle that ends up in silence, and Kevin can’t just ask because his failure to fix something the right way is what caused this. Maxim said it himself, there was no right way, and Kevin should have been able to find one.
He hasn’t been able to bring himself to say much to Maxim all day, even right up until game time. Kevin hasn’t felt this anxious around him in a long time, maybe never. The entire foundation of what they are has been rocked to its core, because Maxim didn’t want to let Kevin fix it, doesn’t think there was even a right way to do everything, and if there’s no right way, that can only mean that everything is wrong, and Maxim doesn’t want to let him fix it because he can’t, can’t do anything but make it worse.
Kevin tries to push everything aside once he steps onto the ice. The crowd’s screaming loudly enough to help with blocking everything out, and Kevin concentrates on the puck on his stick as they start warmups. The Flames come onto the ice without fanfare, the crowd still cheering for their team.
“Hey, man,” Keith steals Kevin’s puck, grins, “feelin’ good about this game,” he says before he skates off, presumably to seal someone else’s puck, like it’s some kind of pregame ritual for him. Kevin skates over towards the bench, but he’s stopped by Ryan at the blueline first.
“You good?” Ryan asks, and Kevin shrugs a shoulder.
“Good enough.”
“Real comforting.” Ryan pushes his helmet back a little, gives Kevin a searching look. Kevin looks over his shoulder to where some of their teammates are stretching, Maxim among them. He talks to Pavel every now and then, until David comes over and distracts Pavel. “Right?” Ryan says.
“Yeah,” Kevin replies.
“Didn’t think you’d be into it.”
“Sure.”
“Top or bottom?”
“What?!” Kevin jerks his gaze back to Ryan, who’s smirking. “You’re an asshole.”
“Relax, I just asked whether you’re going home after the game.”
“Oh, yeah. I am.” Kevin’s gaze drifts back over to Maxim.
“You’re lucky I’m not taking your consent to heart,” Ryan shakes his head, “you literally just agreed to a threesome.”
“Gross, man.”
“That’ll teach you to listen.”
Kevin would reply, but then he sees Maxim suddenly fall off-balance, falling backwards from where he kneels on the ice. Maxim just sits there, frozen, watching something across the ice. Kevin turns to look, completely ignoring Ryan now, but he doesn’t see anything. He looks back to Maxim, who’s unsteadily getting to his feet, takes a few shaky strides, and Kevin knows something’s wrong. He doesn’t know what, but there’s something, and he aches to fix it - but he can’t. Kevin can’t fix anything.
“You playin’ on Alex’s line today?” he asks Ryan, who nods.
“Who’d split us up? Psychic connection, man.”
“That’s freakish.”
“Usefully freakish,” Ryan corrects, hits Kevin’s shin with his stick. “Think we play with Max a few times, too.”
“Kevin?” He almost doesn’t hear the quiet voice, but when he turns, Maxim’s next to him. “Kevin, I need - I need to- can I talk to you?” Maxim’s biting his lip hard, eyes filled with the kind of fear Kevin never, never wanted to see again. I need you, that look is saying, and Kevin grabs him by the sleeve, pulls him towards the bench. Maxim’s silent as they leave the ice, and when they get into the hallway, he grabs onto Kevin’s hand, holds tight. Kevin pulls open the first door they come to, the back door of the equipment storage room.
“What’s wrong?” Kevin asks, closing the door behind them. Maxim doesn’t reply, just wraps his arms around Kevin, buries his face in Kevin’s jersey.
“He’s here,” Maxim says in a small voice, “he’s here, he’s here.” The words are wavering, threaten to dissolve into sobs.
“Who’s here?” Kevin asks, feels the way Maxim shakes in his arms.
“Chase,” Maxim whispers. It’s like Kevin’s suddenly in a place he’s never been - with Maxim when he was on the AHL team, as Chase slowly tore him apart. This is the way it must have been - except Maxim was alone, there wasn’t anyone to protect him from what was happening. During that season, Maxim would have been hiding in a back room and trembling with fear alone.
“It’s okay,” Kevin says softly, “I’ll take care of it, okay? You’ll be fine, I promise.”
“But he’s here,” Maxim whimpers. “Kevin…”
“Yeah,” Kevin kisses him gently, “but so am I.”
He can hear the crowd gearing up, knows it means they’re about to start the game. “Let’s go,” Kevin says, kisses Maxim once more. “It’ll be okay. I promise.” Maxim draws in a slow breath, hugs him one last time. “He won’t hurt you this time,” Kevin promises.
“Tu me sauves,” Maxim mumbles against Kevin’s jersey.
For the first time, Kevin wishes he was on offence. He doesn’t want to be stranded on the defence end of the bench, wants to be able to sit next to Maxim, just be physically close to him, because he can see from here that Maxim’s terrified. None of their teammates will pick up on just how scared he is. Kevin forces himself to watch the game, scans the ice for Chase. It’s not long before Kevin spots him, right as play stops. Chase is talking to a teammate as the refs have a quick word. Just the sight of him makes something in Kevin burn, a seething anger lit on fire, relentlessly fueled. Kevin wants to shove him up against the boards, hit him, take it out on him because he hurt Maxim. It’s his fault that Maxim is over there, jaw tight and eyes downcast, feeling a terror Kevin can’t protect him from enough.
Part of him wants to hurt Chase for himself, because everything Chase destroyed that Maxim gave to Chase - Kevin wants that, that was supposed to be his, Maxim’s first love should have been perfect and reciprocated and every fucking bit as perfect as Maxim is. He should have been the teammate Maxim met and fell in love with, because Kevin would have loved him, loved him like he does now. If Chase didn’t exist, Maxim would have made it to the Canucks locker room without having to suffer so deeply, Kevin could have met him there, they would have everything without Maxim having to suffer the way he did. Everything that’s wrong is all because Chase decided that Maxim was worthless, decided to break him and ruin him, for no fucking reason at all.
The second his shift starts, Kevin doesn’t waste any time at all. He smashes Chase against the boards the first chance he gets, a flawless hit that makes the fans scream gleefully, and Chase is still recovering as Kevin sends the puck up to Henrik. Before his shift is over, Kevin’s laid two bone-shaking hipchecks on Chase, each more satisfying than the last. Kevin skates back to the bench, watches the next line go out. Alex and Ryan are both out, and Kevin can’t help but grin when he sees Ryan send Chase crashing into the net, for what appears to be no reason at all.
During the break, Maxim is still quiet, but he sits next to Kevin on the dressing room bench as they listen to AV talk, Maxim sitting as close as possible to Kevin.
“Doing okay?” Kevin asks as they head back out. Maxim nods; the fear in his dark eyes has calmed a little, but not enough to really convince Kevin he’s completely okay.
Kevin gets an assist on his next shift, but to him, the highlight is the hipcheck he gets at centre ice, clean and shudderingly, a hit that sends Chase flying. Chase hits the ice hard, and he gets right back up, but he’s grumbling, even if he doesn’t dare come after Kevin. After Kevin goes back, Daniel’s line trades with Ryan’s, this time flanked by Alex and Maxim. Kevin watches closely, but Chase never goes near Maxim, something that makes Kevin breathe just a little easier. Chase gets close at one point, but then Alex flat-out cross-checks him, and Kevin doesn’t miss the way Alex fistbumps Ryan on his way to the penalty box. Maxim scores on the penalty kill, sending the arena into deafening screams.
“Rookie’s good, eh?” Keith says, elbowing Kevin.
“He’s great,” Kevin grins. Maxim skates by his end of the bench to fistbump him, and he’s smiling so brightly that for a moment, it looks like he doesn’t even remember that Chase is on the ice.
They score again in the third, and Kevin gets in another two hits on Chase during his shifts. Chase draws more than his fair share of checks, Kevin notices, because Alex and Ryan both make a point of hitting him, and a few of their teammates seem to take an extra moment in a play to hit him if the opportunity arises. No one says anything about it during the game, and Kevin’s never felt more proud to be on this team.
They’re up two to one late in the third, as Kevin joins Ryan’s line on the ice. The hockey gods must really be on his side today, because Chase is out too, his measly ice time lining up with Kevin’s abundance of minutes. They’re in Calgary’s zone, Kevin hovering near the blue line as Ryan rushes in with the puck, a snappy series of passes between him and Alex as they dart around Chase and his d-partner easily, and Alex goes to score, but the puck bounces the wrong way. Kevin’s already looking to watch the Flames for their response, but Chase goes to block the puck, and before Kevin knows what’s happening, the goal horn’s going off, no Canuck even near the puck.
“Did he-” Kevin says aloud. Chase is staring at the net, motionless, as Alex throws his head back and laughs, Ryan hugging him and yelling something. Kevin skates to join them, lingers a few feet away to watch as Kiprusoff shoves at Chase’s shoulder, snarling.
“You forget what team you’re on?” he’s snapping, “what’s wrong with you?! Don’t fucking score on me!”
“Our net’s that way,” Ryan yells over at Chase, smirking, “you might wanna remember that for next time.” Chase doesn’t reply, looks Ryan over and just skates backwards. Ryan’s grin only widens.
Kevin’s grinning to himself as they skate back to the bench; Alex skates backwards beside Ryan, calls over to Chase, “our net’s over there!” and laughs, has to grab at Ryan’s arm to keep from falling over. Ryan shakes his head affectionately, tows Alex over to the bench. The scoreboard reflects their goal, and if hitting Chase felt good, humiliating him feels even better.
After the game, Kevin watches the Flames hurry into the locker room, and as he watches Chase disappear, hopes that this is the last time they see Chase with any kind of power over Maxim. Kevin heads after his teammates, and once in the locker room, Ryan comes over to Kevin’s locker, Alex trailing behind.
“Hey,” Ryan says quietly, tugs on Kevin’s jersey, “why were we trying to kill that Collins guy, anyway?” Kevin really doesn’t know what to think about this compulsion to hug Ryan all the time; it’s just unnatural.
“He’s an asshole,” Kevin explains. Ryan shrugs.
“Fair enough.”
“Fuck that guy,” Alex agrees wholeheartedly, and Kevin hides a smile.
“Exactly,” he says, glances over towards Maxim’s stall. Maxim meets his eye, gives Kevin the smile that makes him feel like he just saved the world.
Kevin’s pulled into the hallway for an interview afterwards, and the interviewer is a guy who’s always really nice, so Kevin can’t say no to him. He talks about the game for a bit, about their great work on PK’s and the talent of the rookies and his hope for the season. He also adds that he hopes Ryan will learn how to use GPS this season and not get them lost in foreign cities, because Ryan deserves it for the threesome trick.
Afterwards, Kevin heads back into the locker room to find Maxim. Maxim’s at his locker, buttoning up his shirt.
“Hey, Maxi,” Kevin says, the only words he can get out before Maxim throws his arms around him.
“Thank you,” Maxim says quietly, “I couldn’t have - anything, without you. Je t’aime, ma moitié,” he whispers, and Kevin can only hug him back, murmur I love you against his skin.
It feels like hours before Kevin’s finally getting into bed, Maxim crawling in next to him, yawning.
“Hey,” Maxim says softly, as Kevin strokes his arm slowly, nearly asleep, “I love you.”
Maybe this is what it is, to love Maxim. They can’t promise never to hurt each other, because it happened even when Kevin was doing his best, happened when Maxim was hurting and didn’t mean to inflict the same on Kevin. Maybe all Kevin can really promise, all Maxim can promise him, is to be here to put things back together. Kevin won’t have to cling to all the little things that connect Maxim to him anymore, because he can finally count on Maxim just being here to stay. Before, every connection was just another thread being woven into the fabric that would keep Maxim from disappearing ever again, but now, that’s become just a past part of what they are, something Kevin remembers but no longer has to fear. He’s not the only one with something to hold onto anymore; the way Maxim looks at him, calls him ma moitié with a promise in his eyes, Maxim needs Kevin just as much as Kevin needs him. And now, now Kevin can promise never to break him, can live assured that Maxim will keep his promise too, will never disappear, will always be here to put everything back together, where they can hold each other together. Between the two of them, they’ll never break again.
“I love you, Maxi,” Kevin whispers back. Kevin kisses Maxim long and slow, for all the goals they’ll score for each other, for all the kept promises, for all the days that will end with them together, all the mornings of sleepy kisses and nights of skin on skin, for everything they’ve become, everything they’ll ever be.
Two years ago, Kevin was watching a player he barely knew, with a fascination he couldn’t explain. It makes sense now, why he was so drawn to Maxim, why Kevin always felt such a burning need to find him, save him, protect him; it’s the same reason Maxim let him in, showed Kevin what was always missing. They always end up together in the end, because they’re never meant to be anywhere else, because Kevin’s the only one who knows how to save Maxim, and this entire time, Maxim’s been saving him too. Maxim makes Kevin forget his own name, forget everything he knew before Maxim, because that, that was just waiting to become whole. Maybe that’s where Maxim went, when he disappeared; he went to wait for the person who would be able to piece him back together, make him whole just by being there. The reason Kevin searched everywhere to find someone he didn’t even know yet is the same reason he’s here now, falling asleep with Maxim in his arms.
They are the two perfect, fragile pieces of this unbreakable whole.