Fic: Take You Away (2)
Title: Take You Away
Pairing: Kesler/Burrows, Lapierre/Bieksa
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Ryan is in love with Alex, mirrored by the way Kevin loves Maxim, and it's bad, so bad, to be able to see all the terrible places they could go.
Their homestand didn’t go particularly well - one win and two losses - but their game in Calgary goes great. Maxim doesn’t know how many times he’s been congratulated on his hat trick since the game yesterday afternoon, and he lives for the way Kevin smiled at him, said I never cease to be amazed at you, and Maxim’s been going over that in his mind, can’t stop grinning about it. He sticks by Kevin when they all go out once they get to Edmonton, because every time Kevin looks at him, he smiles, and it’s hearing his words all over again, the best thing Maxim has ever heard.
He’s been drinking all night, probably getting close to the point where he should stop, but everyone has, because they won, they won big, so the world can wait because they deserve this.
“I mean,” Kevin’s saying to him, “it was just so fucking good!”
“What was?” Maxim asks, just to hear Kevin say it. Of course he knows what they’re talking about; he’s a little past tipsy, but he always hears everything Kevin says to him.
“You, Maxi,” Kevin says, nothing but fond, and Maxim smiles. Kevin’s the only one that calls him Maxi, and only sometimes, by some set of logic that only Kevin knows. “Although maybe good isn’t the right word - maybe really good? But that’s still the same word.”
“I know,” Maxim says, can’t help the way his gaze wanders down Kevin’s body because he’s just - fuck, he’s just really hot. He looks away quickly, tries to remind himself staring at Kevin’s not okay, because - well, there’s probably a reason why, he just can’t remember what it is. Whatever, he runs his tongue over his lip as he looks again, can’t tear his gaze away. Kevin leans across him to put his empty bottle on the table, his ass brushing over Maxim’s crotch. And holy fuck, Kevin has a great ass, and fuck, Maxim’s getting hard and he really shouldn’t, but - Kevin’s right there, looks really good, and goddamnit, that isn’t helping, Maxim’s just getting harder as he thinks about it. He tries to adjust himself in his jeans so it’s a little less obvious, but fuck, Kevin looks over and sees him, and Kevin’s eyes go wide.
“Can we leave?” Kevin says, not really what Maxim thought he might say.
“Leave… to?”
“Our room,” Kevin says, and - and Maxim’s positive this isn’t happening, because Kevin is looking at him like - Kevin can’t want him, can’t, Maxim’s just not that lucky - “it’s not like I’m here to see anyone else,” Kevin adds, like this is obvious. Maxim isn’t quite sure what’s happening exactly, but going with Kevin, being alone with him, he loves this, and Kevin - wants to see just him?
“Really?” he asks, probably miles too hopeful, but Kevin said Maxim’s the only one he wants to see and oh, could he really be?
“Yeah, Maxi.” Kevin catches his wrist, squeezes gently. Maxim doesn’t need any more encouragement - or any, really, because it’s Kevin, he wants Kevin so bad - and he’s setting his bottle down on the table when Kevin tugs on his wrist again. “I just really need you to fuck me,” Kevin says. Maxim jerks towards him, knocks over a bunch of bottles on the table when he turns back too fast, but - what the fuck, did Kevin just - did he -
“You do?” he asks, doesn’t even care that he sounds hopelessly desperate.
“Yes,” Kevin says, “please. Will you?” he’s nearly begging, and Maxim can’t breathe. “Please?” he adds, looks so hopeful, like - like he needs Maxim, and he rubs his thumb over the back of Maxim’s hand, looks at him so pleadingly. Kevin leans in close, lips nearly against Maxim’s ear, “Please, Maxi. We would be so good together,” he says.
“Kevin,” Maxim chokes out. Kevin’s pressing his body against Maxim’s side, crotch against Maxim’s hip, and Maxim is dying, holy fuck Kevin is so close, how is this happening? His dick’s leaking steadily into his boxers now, all thought impossible because Kevin holy fuck Kevin Kevin - Kevin brings his mouth back to Maxim’s ear, hand covering it like he’s telling secrets, but oh, what he does, he kisses Maxim’s ear gently, scrapes his teeth over the earlobe. “Please,” he begs, and Maxim chokes on a moan. “I need you so bad,” Kevin says, nearly whimpering. Kevin’s begging - begging for him, Kevin wants him.
“Please,” Maxim gasps out, “fuck, Kev, yeah, please, can we please, please-”
“Yes,” Kevin says, leads Maxim out of the bar. Maxim can’t tear his gaze off Kevin as he follows him across the lobby, over to the elevators. He gets to - oh, God, he’s going to get to touch Kevin, might even get to kiss him, how is this happening? Kevin presses the button for the elevator, tugs him in when the doors open. Maxim takes his wrist from Kevin’s grasp, puts his hand in Kevin’s and laces their fingers together instead. Kevin pushes the button for their floor a bunch of times, smiles at Maxim almost shyly. Maxim wants to tell him - something, leans in against Kevin’s side and tries to put words together. He squeezes Kevin’s hand tight, looks up at him.
“Je veux - toi, toujours - ” he blurts out, kind of breathless, “Je peux pas croire- cette-” God, even his French is falling apart from how much he wants Kevin. He’s afraid of the words the second he says them - he’s not like Kevin, not brave enough, but Kevin, thank God, he smiles. Kevin wraps his arms around Maxim, buries his face against Maxim’s neck.
“And I thought you couldn’t get any hotter,” he says, “you’re gonna kill me, Maxi.”
“Kev,” Maxim can only cling tight, doesn’t want to get to their room. There’s still a few floors until they get there, he’s suddenly so nervous, doesn’t want Kevin to let go.
“Least I’ll die happy,” Kevin says, sounds like he isn’t anxious at all. Maxim just - really wants to kiss him. He always wants to kiss Kevin. He needs to, why hasn’t he before? He can’t really puzzle out the reason, because it sounds like a great idea - but, oh, he’s terrified to, that’s why.
Kevin leads him by the hand out of the elevator, and as soon as their room door closes behind them, it’s suddenly so, so much more real.
“Maxi,” Kevin says, takes Maxim’s face in his hands, so gentle, “I need to kiss you, okay?” Needs, like - like maybe he feels the way Maxim does, because he needs Kevin so bad. Maxim leans in closer and kisses him, clings to Kevin’s shirt and just crushes their lips together because he just really needs to. Kevin kisses him back hungrily, his hands going to unbutton Maxim’s shirt as he backs them towards the bed. Maxim nearly stumbles he’s clinging to Kevin so tight, fumbling to take off Kevin’s shirt, too.
“Oh,” he gasps out, can’t keep his hands off Kevin, all that bare skin and he looks so perfect, and Maxim’s touching him. “C’mere,” he begs, pulling Kevin in closer to him. “Je - toi - j’ai besoin - toi, toi-” he gasps out, whimpering when Kevin kisses down his neck. He falls back on the bed, tugs Kevin down with him, doesn’t want to stop kissing him even for a moment. Kevin keeps clinging to him, kissing his neck clumsily and coming back to press his lips to Maxim’s when Maxim starts moaning. Maxim whimpers when Kevin rubs against him, the feeling of Kevin’s hard dick against his thigh more than Maxim can even handle.
“Oh, oh, fuck, Kevin,” he gasps out, arching up against him. Kevin kisses him hard, pulls away for a too-long moment to roll onto his back, and then he pulls Maxim back on top of him.
“Maxi,” Kevin groans into his mouth, hands roaming over Maxim’s back. “Maxi, I-I-” Maxim whimpers and nuzzles against him, grinds his hips down against Kevin’s, can’t get enough, won’t ever get enough. “I can’t even think straight,” Kevin says roughly, “Just fuck me, please.” Maxim can’t help the sound he makes at this, a too-loud whimper, but Kevin - he wants Maxim to - no, he can’t, but he does.
“Mon Dieu,” Maxim moans out, “yes, please please, want to so bad.” He pulls away, leans back to brush another kiss to Kevin’s lips when Kevin whines. Maxim works his own jeans off, undoes Kevin’s. “Right back,” Maxim promises, because he can’t think straight, but he still needs this to be good for Kevin, that’s just - the most important thing, he just really wants Kevin to like this. He slides off the bed and grabs a lotion from the bathroom, can’t get back to the bed fast enough. He pauses at the side, though, open-mouthed because oh, Kevin’s got his jeans off and his erection tents his boxers obscenely, and oh, God, they’re going to do it.
“Maxi,” Kevin reaches a hand towards him, and Maxim scrambles onto the bed, brings their lips back together because he misses kissing Kevin already. Maxim curls his fingers around the waistband of Kevin’s boxers, looks up to ask can I, but Kevin’s watching him, breathing shallowly, and that’s a desperate yes, so Maxim tugs them down, tosses his own onto the floor after them. He can’t resist pausing for a moment, though, wrapping a hand around Kevin’s dick and stroking him slowly.
“Maxi!” Kevin gasps out, hips thrusting up, and Maxim’s never heard his name like this before, never thought he would, needy and from Kevin. “Please, please, please,” Kevin pleads, trying to tug Maxim onto him. “I need you, okay, Maxi, please.”
“Yeah,” Maxim manages to say, scooting between Kevin’s legs eagerly, “ouais, je vais, ouais-” He has some trouble with the lotion cap, but a few seconds later, he’s pressing a finger into Kevin, Kevin making these desperate pleading sounds that will just be the death of Maxim.
“Please, please,” Kevin’s begging, hands clenching in the sheets impatiently, and it’s all Maxim can take. He slicks up his own dick and lines himself up, just - wants that forever, the way Kevin’s watching him, breathless with want. When Maxim pushes into him, Kevin makes a relieved little groan, his back arching. “Finally,” he breathes, and Maxim moans, leans up to kiss Kevin hungrily. Fuck, Kevin feels so good, Maxim can’t fucking believe they’re doing this, he’s just always, always wanted it, wanted Kevin.
“T’es - tellement, tellement,” he can’t stop babbling, thrusting into Kevin deep and desperate, can’t help the helpless whimpers that spill from his lips. “J’ai besoin - toi, cette, toi, tellement, t’est - incroyable, je peux pas le croire-” Kevin makes shallow little whimpering sounds, biting his lip hard. “C’est - is it okay?” Maxim asks, breathing hard. He’s kind of - dizzy, maybe, but can’t stand to stop, it just feels so fucking good, he doesn’t care that it’s making him kind of light-headed.
“Oh, God, Maxi, so much better than okay,” Kevin says, grabbing for him, Maxim kisses along his collarbone, angles his thrusts just enough that Kevin moans loudly. “I knew you’d be like this,” Kevin moans out, “knew we’d be perfect together and we are, Maxi, tell me, you feel that too, don’t you, Maxi-”
“Oui, oui, oui,” Maxim babbles. He reaches between them, gets a hand around Kevin’s erection, and it makes Kevin groan deeply. He comes a few seconds later, and the way he moans, it has Maxim coming too, clinging to Kevin tight. “Kev,” he breathes, collapsing on Kevin’s chest after pulling away. Kevin kisses his shoulder, strokes a hand over his back. Maxim can feel the way Kevin’s heart is slowing back to normal, and he kind of loves that, he’s what got Kevin so excited.
He falls asleep just like that, Kevin’s arms around him, and the room’s spinning as he closes his eyes, but he buries his face against Kevin’s neck, holds on tight.
0o0o0o0o
Some of the guys go out after dinner in Edmonton, but Alex is glad when Ryan just asks “want to head back?” like he’s hoping Alex will say yes. Alex nods eagerly, all too happy to leave their noisy teammates. Because maybe - maybe, if they go off to their room, they can practice again. Alex still can’t believe it actually happened, believe that Ryan kissed him, and maybe Ryan wasn’t thinking about him when they kissed, but at least he gave that to Alex, kissed him, and that will always be Alex’s.
Once up in their room, Alex watches Ryan taking off his jacket, tossing it into the suitcase. “How are things, with the girl?” Alex asks, because he can’t stop thinking about it, that some stupid girl is going to be lucky enough to have this for her own, what Alex only has on the road, not even really his.
“There are no things,” Ryan says, unbuttoning his shirt slowly.
“So you are not trying, like we said? Kissing her like that?”
“Yeah, I can’t do that,” Ryan laughs, doesn’t sound all that amused. “Seriously.” He tosses his shirt aside, pulls on a t-shirt.
“You are not still nervous, though?”
“Nervous doesn’t even begin to cover it, Alex.” He sits on his own bed, flops back against the pillows. Alex tries not to stare openly; he can’t ever look at Ryan without imagining kissing him, and since he’s actually, impossibly, done that, it’s all he can think about.
“Maybe you are needing more practicing,” he says, hopes he isn’t blushing when Ryan looks over. “So, yes? Viens?” He scoots over a little on the end of the bed, looks up when he feels Ryan crawling across the bed. Ryan sits beside him, something like nervousness on his face, and oh, he must really like this girl, anxious just thinking about her. “It is very easy, non, if you are to being on a bed? With her,” he says, tripping over the English because it’s really, really hard to think when Ryan’s so close to him. Ryan’s just - just waiting, so Alex draws in a shaky breath that’s supposed to be steadying, and leans over to kiss Ryan.
And Ryan - he kisses Alex back, hungry and needy, and Alex has a hard time holding back desperate moans at the way Ryan kisses him. His fingers flex uselessly against the sheets, because clinging to Ryan would be just - too much, would be what he wants, he has to remember that - that this isn’t for him. He pulls back after a second, and Ryan practically collapses against his side
“This is better!” Alex says, bites his lip. He wants Ryan to feel confident and end up with this girl he likes, but - but Alex doesn’t want Ryan to stop kissing him. Not yet - maybe it’s selfish, but this is what he’s always wanted, and the way Ryan’s leaning against him, Alex isn’t ready to give it up yet. “But, you have to, euh,” Alex adds, “be not-nervous, so you can be starting it, yourself.”
“So…” Ryan sits up a little, wipes his palms on his shorts, “So I should just… kiss you?” He sounds outright anxious, and some part of Alex is a little glad, because it means Ryan has more to practice, he isn’t ready to go and confidently kiss this girl quite yet, Alex isn’t losing him yet.
“Yes, so you learn to be not nervous. If- if you … are wanting to practice that,” he adds, just in case.
“Okay,” Ryan clears his throat, draws in a breath. “So I’ll- kiss you, Alex,” he says, smiles, and for a second, Alex just lets himself believe this isn’t practicing, this is Ryan saying I’m going to kiss you because I want to. Ryan scoots close again and kisses him, and Alex wants to kiss him back, fights against the urge to lick into Ryan’s mouth and bite at his lip. But - but it’s Ryan kissing him, and Alex’s hands come up to fist in Ryan’s shirt because he can’t help it, needs to be holding onto Ryan. Ryan puts his hands on Alex’s back, pulls him in close, and Alex can’t stop the whimpers that escape him. Ryan’s kissing him hard and deep, making these little moaning sounds that are making Alex lightheaded.
“You, euh,” he says, pulling away for a reluctant breath, “are learning very much, is good.” He needs Ryan to kiss him again, though, just really needs it. “But-”
“I still feel really nervous,” Ryan says, thankfully. “See,” he brings Alex’s hand to his neck, where his pulse is pounding. Alex wants to pull him close and kiss him slow and soothing, could almost forget in this moment that he’s not allowed to.
“Then, you need more practice. You cannot be feeling nervous.” This makes Ryan frown, though, his hand tightening a little where it’s still over Alex’s.
“Practice with - with you, right?”
“Yes,” Alex says, probably too fast, but he just can’t live with the idea of Ryan practicing with someone else - he already can’t stand the idea of the girl, doesn’t want Ryan to learn this with anyone else. He doesn’t want to share this with anyone, wants this all to himself, Ryan’s trembling anxiety, the way Ryan grabs at him like he needs to be steadied. There are some things about Ryan that are Alex’s alone, and he wishes this could be like that, too. “This is - the most convenient,” he adds hurriedly, “so it makes you not so nervous.”
Ryan smiles at him. “Thanks, Alex,” he says, and it breaks Alex’s heart a little. “I really appreciate this.”
“I just - want you to not to be nervous, with this girl,” Alex stammers out, and then Ryan puts a finger over his lips. Right - bringing up the girl probably makes him nervous all over again. Ryan leans in and kisses him, just gently brushes his lips over Alex’s, and while Alex is trying to remember how to breathe, Ryan looks at him like he’s seeking approval. “Euh, just like this, yes,” Alex manages. He doesn’t know how he can express just how good at it Ryan is, or that this is the kind of kiss he thinks about sometimes, after a loss or when he’s collapsed in the dressing room, in pain all over, this what would make everything better.
“But,” he adds, because he needs this to keep going. He loses all words in every language when Ryan kisses along his jaw, down his neck, and all words dissolve into whimpers. He just - can’t think, not like this, not when Ryan’s kissing him, his stubble brushing against Alex’s skin in a way that makes him shiver, somehow so gentle, more than Alex even knew Ryan was capable of. Except - this isn’t his, it’s not, he can’t - can’t get so into this - he leans back a little, onto the bed, and he means to give himself space from Ryan, but can’t unclench his hands from Ryan’s shirt and just ends up pulling Ryan back with him.
He scoots close against Ryan, holding onto him tightly and it’s just so good, Ryan kissing him like this. Ryan presses against him, gently pushes Alex onto his back. Alex chokes back a moan, but then Ryan lies on top of him, and Alex moans helplessly. He only barely keeps from groaning out Ryan’s name when Ryan starts kissing him again, and oh, Ryan’s rubbing against him, his dick hard against Alex’s leg, and Alex whimpers, writhing up against him. Ryan kisses him in between gasping for breath, and maybe Alex should stop but he can’t, whimpers breaking from his lips shamelessly now. It’s probably too late anyways, because he’s arching and grinding against Ryan helplessly, erection tenting his pants obviously, but it’s just - just so good, and it’s Ryan, Alex wants him so bad, so , so bad. And then - Ryan reaches down and rubs Alex through his pants, and Alex arches up off the bed, gasping incoherently. Ryan’s sucking on his neck now, too, Alex just comes undone with how good it all feels, and Ryan, really Ryan.
“Alex,” Ryan says against his neck, and Alex can’t say anything, gasping and trembling, “I want you to come,” Ryan says, and oh, that’s it. Alex comes immediately, hips pressing up against Ryan’s touch. Ryan groans as he rubs against Alex once more, collapses on top of him, holding him tight and panting against his neck. Alex tips his head back, his heart beating so, so fast. He rubs his hand over Ryan’s shoulder, wants to kiss him again.
“Why are you not telling me it is a guy?” he asks softly. It seems so obvious now, Ryan can’t actually be into girls, not when they’re practicing like this. Alex knows this will hurt more later, but for now, Ryan’s lying half on top of him, still breathing shallowly.
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Ryan says, so quiet. Something heavy fills Alex’s chest at that, he wants to break down and apologise, because he doesn’t want to be like that, be someone Ryan worries about like this, hide anything from him.
“You don’t have to be worrying about that,” Alex says, and Ryan smiles.
“Alex, you’re amazing,” he breathes. Alex looks away, scoots over so he can sit up. It’s just- hard enough, feeling everything he wants, without hearing the words he wished went with it too, when none of this is really for him.
If he was really amazing, he’d be the one Ryan’s nervous about kissing, so important that the world stops, makes something as easy as kissing impossible.
0o0o0o
When Kevin wakes up, he’s disoriented, but he knows he fell asleep with Maxim sprawled on top of him. Maxim isn’t here anymore. He’s supposed to be though, and Kevin - he was really looking forward to this part. He fucking loved last night, can’t believe it happened, and this morning - he thought he’d get to hold Maxim, kiss him awake, and do it all again, sober and sleepy, this exploration of something newly theirs.
Maxim’s gone, though. Kevin can hear the shower turning off, and, okay, Kevin’s happy with this too, Maxim all wet from the shower, warm and clean. Kevin can definitely do that, press Maxim into the sheets and take Maxim’s towel off with his teeth and kiss every inch of him. The door opens and Maxim comes into the room, wearing only a towel. And he’s just really good-looking, water dripping down his bare chest, and - and he’s Kevin’s, Kevin got to kiss him, got to do even more, and oh, he’s just wanted Maxim for such a long time.
“Oh,” Maxim stammers out, blushing when he sees Kevin looking at him. “Euh. Hi.”
“Morning,” Kevin says, pushing himself up. He smiles, hopes Maxim will come over here and just get back in bed. He just really wants to kiss Maxim. “About last night,” he starts, wants to tell him thank you, tell him let’s do it again, tell him all kinds of things and isn’t sure where to start.
Except - except Maxim’s looking at the floor, looks nervous, and that’s - that’s not what Kevin was hoping for. He wanted Maxim to smile at him and for this to be the best thing they’ve ever had, and this - this is Maxim staying across the room, unable to even look at him.
“We’re good, right?” Kevin says instead. He doesn’t mean to say it like that, but he’s just thinking about - about how good they were together, and obviously it wasn’t right, if Maxim’s looking like this - but it was good. Kevin felt that, and Maxim - Kevin thought he did, too.
“Yeah,” Maxim says, a little unsteady, but he’s nodding. “Totally. We’re - good.” He stutters over the last word a little, but offers a mostly-normal smile. Kevin nods and looks away, tries to remember ever last detail of how it felt to kiss Maxim because apparently, he’s never going to again.
Pairing: Kesler/Burrows, Lapierre/Bieksa
Rating: Explicit
Summary: Ryan is in love with Alex, mirrored by the way Kevin loves Maxim, and it's bad, so bad, to be able to see all the terrible places they could go.
Their homestand didn’t go particularly well - one win and two losses - but their game in Calgary goes great. Maxim doesn’t know how many times he’s been congratulated on his hat trick since the game yesterday afternoon, and he lives for the way Kevin smiled at him, said I never cease to be amazed at you, and Maxim’s been going over that in his mind, can’t stop grinning about it. He sticks by Kevin when they all go out once they get to Edmonton, because every time Kevin looks at him, he smiles, and it’s hearing his words all over again, the best thing Maxim has ever heard.
He’s been drinking all night, probably getting close to the point where he should stop, but everyone has, because they won, they won big, so the world can wait because they deserve this.
“I mean,” Kevin’s saying to him, “it was just so fucking good!”
“What was?” Maxim asks, just to hear Kevin say it. Of course he knows what they’re talking about; he’s a little past tipsy, but he always hears everything Kevin says to him.
“You, Maxi,” Kevin says, nothing but fond, and Maxim smiles. Kevin’s the only one that calls him Maxi, and only sometimes, by some set of logic that only Kevin knows. “Although maybe good isn’t the right word - maybe really good? But that’s still the same word.”
“I know,” Maxim says, can’t help the way his gaze wanders down Kevin’s body because he’s just - fuck, he’s just really hot. He looks away quickly, tries to remind himself staring at Kevin’s not okay, because - well, there’s probably a reason why, he just can’t remember what it is. Whatever, he runs his tongue over his lip as he looks again, can’t tear his gaze away. Kevin leans across him to put his empty bottle on the table, his ass brushing over Maxim’s crotch. And holy fuck, Kevin has a great ass, and fuck, Maxim’s getting hard and he really shouldn’t, but - Kevin’s right there, looks really good, and goddamnit, that isn’t helping, Maxim’s just getting harder as he thinks about it. He tries to adjust himself in his jeans so it’s a little less obvious, but fuck, Kevin looks over and sees him, and Kevin’s eyes go wide.
“Can we leave?” Kevin says, not really what Maxim thought he might say.
“Leave… to?”
“Our room,” Kevin says, and - and Maxim’s positive this isn’t happening, because Kevin is looking at him like - Kevin can’t want him, can’t, Maxim’s just not that lucky - “it’s not like I’m here to see anyone else,” Kevin adds, like this is obvious. Maxim isn’t quite sure what’s happening exactly, but going with Kevin, being alone with him, he loves this, and Kevin - wants to see just him?
“Really?” he asks, probably miles too hopeful, but Kevin said Maxim’s the only one he wants to see and oh, could he really be?
“Yeah, Maxi.” Kevin catches his wrist, squeezes gently. Maxim doesn’t need any more encouragement - or any, really, because it’s Kevin, he wants Kevin so bad - and he’s setting his bottle down on the table when Kevin tugs on his wrist again. “I just really need you to fuck me,” Kevin says. Maxim jerks towards him, knocks over a bunch of bottles on the table when he turns back too fast, but - what the fuck, did Kevin just - did he -
“You do?” he asks, doesn’t even care that he sounds hopelessly desperate.
“Yes,” Kevin says, “please. Will you?” he’s nearly begging, and Maxim can’t breathe. “Please?” he adds, looks so hopeful, like - like he needs Maxim, and he rubs his thumb over the back of Maxim’s hand, looks at him so pleadingly. Kevin leans in close, lips nearly against Maxim’s ear, “Please, Maxi. We would be so good together,” he says.
“Kevin,” Maxim chokes out. Kevin’s pressing his body against Maxim’s side, crotch against Maxim’s hip, and Maxim is dying, holy fuck Kevin is so close, how is this happening? His dick’s leaking steadily into his boxers now, all thought impossible because Kevin holy fuck Kevin Kevin - Kevin brings his mouth back to Maxim’s ear, hand covering it like he’s telling secrets, but oh, what he does, he kisses Maxim’s ear gently, scrapes his teeth over the earlobe. “Please,” he begs, and Maxim chokes on a moan. “I need you so bad,” Kevin says, nearly whimpering. Kevin’s begging - begging for him, Kevin wants him.
“Please,” Maxim gasps out, “fuck, Kev, yeah, please, can we please, please-”
“Yes,” Kevin says, leads Maxim out of the bar. Maxim can’t tear his gaze off Kevin as he follows him across the lobby, over to the elevators. He gets to - oh, God, he’s going to get to touch Kevin, might even get to kiss him, how is this happening? Kevin presses the button for the elevator, tugs him in when the doors open. Maxim takes his wrist from Kevin’s grasp, puts his hand in Kevin’s and laces their fingers together instead. Kevin pushes the button for their floor a bunch of times, smiles at Maxim almost shyly. Maxim wants to tell him - something, leans in against Kevin’s side and tries to put words together. He squeezes Kevin’s hand tight, looks up at him.
“Je veux - toi, toujours - ” he blurts out, kind of breathless, “Je peux pas croire- cette-” God, even his French is falling apart from how much he wants Kevin. He’s afraid of the words the second he says them - he’s not like Kevin, not brave enough, but Kevin, thank God, he smiles. Kevin wraps his arms around Maxim, buries his face against Maxim’s neck.
“And I thought you couldn’t get any hotter,” he says, “you’re gonna kill me, Maxi.”
“Kev,” Maxim can only cling tight, doesn’t want to get to their room. There’s still a few floors until they get there, he’s suddenly so nervous, doesn’t want Kevin to let go.
“Least I’ll die happy,” Kevin says, sounds like he isn’t anxious at all. Maxim just - really wants to kiss him. He always wants to kiss Kevin. He needs to, why hasn’t he before? He can’t really puzzle out the reason, because it sounds like a great idea - but, oh, he’s terrified to, that’s why.
Kevin leads him by the hand out of the elevator, and as soon as their room door closes behind them, it’s suddenly so, so much more real.
“Maxi,” Kevin says, takes Maxim’s face in his hands, so gentle, “I need to kiss you, okay?” Needs, like - like maybe he feels the way Maxim does, because he needs Kevin so bad. Maxim leans in closer and kisses him, clings to Kevin’s shirt and just crushes their lips together because he just really needs to. Kevin kisses him back hungrily, his hands going to unbutton Maxim’s shirt as he backs them towards the bed. Maxim nearly stumbles he’s clinging to Kevin so tight, fumbling to take off Kevin’s shirt, too.
“Oh,” he gasps out, can’t keep his hands off Kevin, all that bare skin and he looks so perfect, and Maxim’s touching him. “C’mere,” he begs, pulling Kevin in closer to him. “Je - toi - j’ai besoin - toi, toi-” he gasps out, whimpering when Kevin kisses down his neck. He falls back on the bed, tugs Kevin down with him, doesn’t want to stop kissing him even for a moment. Kevin keeps clinging to him, kissing his neck clumsily and coming back to press his lips to Maxim’s when Maxim starts moaning. Maxim whimpers when Kevin rubs against him, the feeling of Kevin’s hard dick against his thigh more than Maxim can even handle.
“Oh, oh, fuck, Kevin,” he gasps out, arching up against him. Kevin kisses him hard, pulls away for a too-long moment to roll onto his back, and then he pulls Maxim back on top of him.
“Maxi,” Kevin groans into his mouth, hands roaming over Maxim’s back. “Maxi, I-I-” Maxim whimpers and nuzzles against him, grinds his hips down against Kevin’s, can’t get enough, won’t ever get enough. “I can’t even think straight,” Kevin says roughly, “Just fuck me, please.” Maxim can’t help the sound he makes at this, a too-loud whimper, but Kevin - he wants Maxim to - no, he can’t, but he does.
“Mon Dieu,” Maxim moans out, “yes, please please, want to so bad.” He pulls away, leans back to brush another kiss to Kevin’s lips when Kevin whines. Maxim works his own jeans off, undoes Kevin’s. “Right back,” Maxim promises, because he can’t think straight, but he still needs this to be good for Kevin, that’s just - the most important thing, he just really wants Kevin to like this. He slides off the bed and grabs a lotion from the bathroom, can’t get back to the bed fast enough. He pauses at the side, though, open-mouthed because oh, Kevin’s got his jeans off and his erection tents his boxers obscenely, and oh, God, they’re going to do it.
“Maxi,” Kevin reaches a hand towards him, and Maxim scrambles onto the bed, brings their lips back together because he misses kissing Kevin already. Maxim curls his fingers around the waistband of Kevin’s boxers, looks up to ask can I, but Kevin’s watching him, breathing shallowly, and that’s a desperate yes, so Maxim tugs them down, tosses his own onto the floor after them. He can’t resist pausing for a moment, though, wrapping a hand around Kevin’s dick and stroking him slowly.
“Maxi!” Kevin gasps out, hips thrusting up, and Maxim’s never heard his name like this before, never thought he would, needy and from Kevin. “Please, please, please,” Kevin pleads, trying to tug Maxim onto him. “I need you, okay, Maxi, please.”
“Yeah,” Maxim manages to say, scooting between Kevin’s legs eagerly, “ouais, je vais, ouais-” He has some trouble with the lotion cap, but a few seconds later, he’s pressing a finger into Kevin, Kevin making these desperate pleading sounds that will just be the death of Maxim.
“Please, please,” Kevin’s begging, hands clenching in the sheets impatiently, and it’s all Maxim can take. He slicks up his own dick and lines himself up, just - wants that forever, the way Kevin’s watching him, breathless with want. When Maxim pushes into him, Kevin makes a relieved little groan, his back arching. “Finally,” he breathes, and Maxim moans, leans up to kiss Kevin hungrily. Fuck, Kevin feels so good, Maxim can’t fucking believe they’re doing this, he’s just always, always wanted it, wanted Kevin.
“T’es - tellement, tellement,” he can’t stop babbling, thrusting into Kevin deep and desperate, can’t help the helpless whimpers that spill from his lips. “J’ai besoin - toi, cette, toi, tellement, t’est - incroyable, je peux pas le croire-” Kevin makes shallow little whimpering sounds, biting his lip hard. “C’est - is it okay?” Maxim asks, breathing hard. He’s kind of - dizzy, maybe, but can’t stand to stop, it just feels so fucking good, he doesn’t care that it’s making him kind of light-headed.
“Oh, God, Maxi, so much better than okay,” Kevin says, grabbing for him, Maxim kisses along his collarbone, angles his thrusts just enough that Kevin moans loudly. “I knew you’d be like this,” Kevin moans out, “knew we’d be perfect together and we are, Maxi, tell me, you feel that too, don’t you, Maxi-”
“Oui, oui, oui,” Maxim babbles. He reaches between them, gets a hand around Kevin’s erection, and it makes Kevin groan deeply. He comes a few seconds later, and the way he moans, it has Maxim coming too, clinging to Kevin tight. “Kev,” he breathes, collapsing on Kevin’s chest after pulling away. Kevin kisses his shoulder, strokes a hand over his back. Maxim can feel the way Kevin’s heart is slowing back to normal, and he kind of loves that, he’s what got Kevin so excited.
He falls asleep just like that, Kevin’s arms around him, and the room’s spinning as he closes his eyes, but he buries his face against Kevin’s neck, holds on tight.
0o0o0o0o
Some of the guys go out after dinner in Edmonton, but Alex is glad when Ryan just asks “want to head back?” like he’s hoping Alex will say yes. Alex nods eagerly, all too happy to leave their noisy teammates. Because maybe - maybe, if they go off to their room, they can practice again. Alex still can’t believe it actually happened, believe that Ryan kissed him, and maybe Ryan wasn’t thinking about him when they kissed, but at least he gave that to Alex, kissed him, and that will always be Alex’s.
Once up in their room, Alex watches Ryan taking off his jacket, tossing it into the suitcase. “How are things, with the girl?” Alex asks, because he can’t stop thinking about it, that some stupid girl is going to be lucky enough to have this for her own, what Alex only has on the road, not even really his.
“There are no things,” Ryan says, unbuttoning his shirt slowly.
“So you are not trying, like we said? Kissing her like that?”
“Yeah, I can’t do that,” Ryan laughs, doesn’t sound all that amused. “Seriously.” He tosses his shirt aside, pulls on a t-shirt.
“You are not still nervous, though?”
“Nervous doesn’t even begin to cover it, Alex.” He sits on his own bed, flops back against the pillows. Alex tries not to stare openly; he can’t ever look at Ryan without imagining kissing him, and since he’s actually, impossibly, done that, it’s all he can think about.
“Maybe you are needing more practicing,” he says, hopes he isn’t blushing when Ryan looks over. “So, yes? Viens?” He scoots over a little on the end of the bed, looks up when he feels Ryan crawling across the bed. Ryan sits beside him, something like nervousness on his face, and oh, he must really like this girl, anxious just thinking about her. “It is very easy, non, if you are to being on a bed? With her,” he says, tripping over the English because it’s really, really hard to think when Ryan’s so close to him. Ryan’s just - just waiting, so Alex draws in a shaky breath that’s supposed to be steadying, and leans over to kiss Ryan.
And Ryan - he kisses Alex back, hungry and needy, and Alex has a hard time holding back desperate moans at the way Ryan kisses him. His fingers flex uselessly against the sheets, because clinging to Ryan would be just - too much, would be what he wants, he has to remember that - that this isn’t for him. He pulls back after a second, and Ryan practically collapses against his side
“This is better!” Alex says, bites his lip. He wants Ryan to feel confident and end up with this girl he likes, but - but Alex doesn’t want Ryan to stop kissing him. Not yet - maybe it’s selfish, but this is what he’s always wanted, and the way Ryan’s leaning against him, Alex isn’t ready to give it up yet. “But, you have to, euh,” Alex adds, “be not-nervous, so you can be starting it, yourself.”
“So…” Ryan sits up a little, wipes his palms on his shorts, “So I should just… kiss you?” He sounds outright anxious, and some part of Alex is a little glad, because it means Ryan has more to practice, he isn’t ready to go and confidently kiss this girl quite yet, Alex isn’t losing him yet.
“Yes, so you learn to be not nervous. If- if you … are wanting to practice that,” he adds, just in case.
“Okay,” Ryan clears his throat, draws in a breath. “So I’ll- kiss you, Alex,” he says, smiles, and for a second, Alex just lets himself believe this isn’t practicing, this is Ryan saying I’m going to kiss you because I want to. Ryan scoots close again and kisses him, and Alex wants to kiss him back, fights against the urge to lick into Ryan’s mouth and bite at his lip. But - but it’s Ryan kissing him, and Alex’s hands come up to fist in Ryan’s shirt because he can’t help it, needs to be holding onto Ryan. Ryan puts his hands on Alex’s back, pulls him in close, and Alex can’t stop the whimpers that escape him. Ryan’s kissing him hard and deep, making these little moaning sounds that are making Alex lightheaded.
“You, euh,” he says, pulling away for a reluctant breath, “are learning very much, is good.” He needs Ryan to kiss him again, though, just really needs it. “But-”
“I still feel really nervous,” Ryan says, thankfully. “See,” he brings Alex’s hand to his neck, where his pulse is pounding. Alex wants to pull him close and kiss him slow and soothing, could almost forget in this moment that he’s not allowed to.
“Then, you need more practice. You cannot be feeling nervous.” This makes Ryan frown, though, his hand tightening a little where it’s still over Alex’s.
“Practice with - with you, right?”
“Yes,” Alex says, probably too fast, but he just can’t live with the idea of Ryan practicing with someone else - he already can’t stand the idea of the girl, doesn’t want Ryan to learn this with anyone else. He doesn’t want to share this with anyone, wants this all to himself, Ryan’s trembling anxiety, the way Ryan grabs at him like he needs to be steadied. There are some things about Ryan that are Alex’s alone, and he wishes this could be like that, too. “This is - the most convenient,” he adds hurriedly, “so it makes you not so nervous.”
Ryan smiles at him. “Thanks, Alex,” he says, and it breaks Alex’s heart a little. “I really appreciate this.”
“I just - want you to not to be nervous, with this girl,” Alex stammers out, and then Ryan puts a finger over his lips. Right - bringing up the girl probably makes him nervous all over again. Ryan leans in and kisses him, just gently brushes his lips over Alex’s, and while Alex is trying to remember how to breathe, Ryan looks at him like he’s seeking approval. “Euh, just like this, yes,” Alex manages. He doesn’t know how he can express just how good at it Ryan is, or that this is the kind of kiss he thinks about sometimes, after a loss or when he’s collapsed in the dressing room, in pain all over, this what would make everything better.
“But,” he adds, because he needs this to keep going. He loses all words in every language when Ryan kisses along his jaw, down his neck, and all words dissolve into whimpers. He just - can’t think, not like this, not when Ryan’s kissing him, his stubble brushing against Alex’s skin in a way that makes him shiver, somehow so gentle, more than Alex even knew Ryan was capable of. Except - this isn’t his, it’s not, he can’t - can’t get so into this - he leans back a little, onto the bed, and he means to give himself space from Ryan, but can’t unclench his hands from Ryan’s shirt and just ends up pulling Ryan back with him.
He scoots close against Ryan, holding onto him tightly and it’s just so good, Ryan kissing him like this. Ryan presses against him, gently pushes Alex onto his back. Alex chokes back a moan, but then Ryan lies on top of him, and Alex moans helplessly. He only barely keeps from groaning out Ryan’s name when Ryan starts kissing him again, and oh, Ryan’s rubbing against him, his dick hard against Alex’s leg, and Alex whimpers, writhing up against him. Ryan kisses him in between gasping for breath, and maybe Alex should stop but he can’t, whimpers breaking from his lips shamelessly now. It’s probably too late anyways, because he’s arching and grinding against Ryan helplessly, erection tenting his pants obviously, but it’s just - just so good, and it’s Ryan, Alex wants him so bad, so , so bad. And then - Ryan reaches down and rubs Alex through his pants, and Alex arches up off the bed, gasping incoherently. Ryan’s sucking on his neck now, too, Alex just comes undone with how good it all feels, and Ryan, really Ryan.
“Alex,” Ryan says against his neck, and Alex can’t say anything, gasping and trembling, “I want you to come,” Ryan says, and oh, that’s it. Alex comes immediately, hips pressing up against Ryan’s touch. Ryan groans as he rubs against Alex once more, collapses on top of him, holding him tight and panting against his neck. Alex tips his head back, his heart beating so, so fast. He rubs his hand over Ryan’s shoulder, wants to kiss him again.
“Why are you not telling me it is a guy?” he asks softly. It seems so obvious now, Ryan can’t actually be into girls, not when they’re practicing like this. Alex knows this will hurt more later, but for now, Ryan’s lying half on top of him, still breathing shallowly.
“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Ryan says, so quiet. Something heavy fills Alex’s chest at that, he wants to break down and apologise, because he doesn’t want to be like that, be someone Ryan worries about like this, hide anything from him.
“You don’t have to be worrying about that,” Alex says, and Ryan smiles.
“Alex, you’re amazing,” he breathes. Alex looks away, scoots over so he can sit up. It’s just- hard enough, feeling everything he wants, without hearing the words he wished went with it too, when none of this is really for him.
If he was really amazing, he’d be the one Ryan’s nervous about kissing, so important that the world stops, makes something as easy as kissing impossible.
0o0o0o
When Kevin wakes up, he’s disoriented, but he knows he fell asleep with Maxim sprawled on top of him. Maxim isn’t here anymore. He’s supposed to be though, and Kevin - he was really looking forward to this part. He fucking loved last night, can’t believe it happened, and this morning - he thought he’d get to hold Maxim, kiss him awake, and do it all again, sober and sleepy, this exploration of something newly theirs.
Maxim’s gone, though. Kevin can hear the shower turning off, and, okay, Kevin’s happy with this too, Maxim all wet from the shower, warm and clean. Kevin can definitely do that, press Maxim into the sheets and take Maxim’s towel off with his teeth and kiss every inch of him. The door opens and Maxim comes into the room, wearing only a towel. And he’s just really good-looking, water dripping down his bare chest, and - and he’s Kevin’s, Kevin got to kiss him, got to do even more, and oh, he’s just wanted Maxim for such a long time.
“Oh,” Maxim stammers out, blushing when he sees Kevin looking at him. “Euh. Hi.”
“Morning,” Kevin says, pushing himself up. He smiles, hopes Maxim will come over here and just get back in bed. He just really wants to kiss Maxim. “About last night,” he starts, wants to tell him thank you, tell him let’s do it again, tell him all kinds of things and isn’t sure where to start.
Except - except Maxim’s looking at the floor, looks nervous, and that’s - that’s not what Kevin was hoping for. He wanted Maxim to smile at him and for this to be the best thing they’ve ever had, and this - this is Maxim staying across the room, unable to even look at him.
“We’re good, right?” Kevin says instead. He doesn’t mean to say it like that, but he’s just thinking about - about how good they were together, and obviously it wasn’t right, if Maxim’s looking like this - but it was good. Kevin felt that, and Maxim - Kevin thought he did, too.
“Yeah,” Maxim says, a little unsteady, but he’s nodding. “Totally. We’re - good.” He stutters over the last word a little, but offers a mostly-normal smile. Kevin nods and looks away, tries to remember ever last detail of how it felt to kiss Maxim because apparently, he’s never going to again.