Comments | ice_princess5: story # 3

ice_princess5

story # 3

Dec 08, 2004 14:07

i'm killin' some time before i have to go to work so i thought i'd post up the last story i had to write for short story writing. i think i got like a B-/B on it. i knew he wasn't going to like it b/c it didn't follow his "template." i have the critique somewhere around here. oh well. at least the people who read it liked it even if i'm not ( Read more... )

Comments 5

reading at work messiahgal2 December 9 2004, 15:44:48 UTC

whoa, that is sad. i like the twist- how it seemed that everything would be fine, but then the reader gets a surprise- it doesn't end up perfect after all. but i think the symbol of the engagement ring promises hope.
the whole engagement thing and "DB" reminds me of me. although my story didn't quite turn out like that. sometimes i wish it had (not the death part but DB deciding that what we had was worth it) but other times i feel that things worked out for the best.
kudos to one of my favorite writers! :)

=) ice_princess5 December 12 2004, 20:11:00 UTC

thank you, i do appreciate it. i'm glad you liked it and got the meaning. my prof said he didn't think the engagement ring meant as much as i wanted it to, but whatever... i don't really care what he has to say. haha

anyway, i bet you can figure out where the whole story idea came from, which is why you also relate to it. i guess that is why they say writers use their lives as inspiration... i was really mad one day and it just flowed out pretty quickly. i wrote the majority of it during part of my 3 hour break.

i know it is on the depressing side, but the way i felt (and kind of still do)... i liked the idea of someone realizing what they had was good, but then it was too late for them to have it. of course only in fiction can you control that outcome...

Awesome Story Lauren!!! anonymous December 12 2004, 21:05:37 UTC

Thats an awesome story!!!! I love the way you ended it. Kinda sad, but it was still AWESOME!!!

Re: Awesome Story Lauren!!! anonymous December 12 2004, 21:07:20 UTC

woops, i forgot to put something in...lol..anyway. at the end.. why did you have "DB" say "i love you" if you are tallking about who i think you are talking about??

!!!
Sammi

gracias ice_princess5 December 12 2004, 21:43:24 UTC

you are too sweet sammi.

about the end: DB realized that he lost something very important. he just didn't realize it until much too late. he did care for Jocelyn, but i guess he just didn't show it as much as he should of.

about DB: i just took parts of real events/people and put it in the story. DB is not really a certain person... just has some of the same traits. haha. that person who you are thinking of was my "inspiration", if you can call it that. haha.

p.s. stephanie says hi! lol