CM!AU-ficlets
Verse: Master!Hotch/Convict!Reid
Beta: Unbeta
Raitings: Each chapter is raited
Disclaimer: Not mine.
X-posted at criminalxminds and cm_hotch_reid
Coffee-break
FRC
Spencer found his job to be fairly easy. The reading through the reports and summarizing the events were the easy part. The pictures of mutilated and dead bodies along with descriptions of what the Unsubs did to some of their victims were not. Sometimes it just struck to close to home.
After the introduction in the briefing room and the short escort around the floor and the library, his Master had sat down with him and told him this job had a gruesome side to it. Human beings were good at torturing other human beings. Spencer had listened and held his gaze firmly to his lap.
“Spencer?” Hotch had finished his speech, “This job isn´t for everyone and it´s alright if you think you can´t do it. None of us will think any less of you and I´ll find you other assignments.”
Spencer wasn´t sure if he was supposed to answer. He was, however, very intrigued by his Master´s job and wanted to learn more, but he held his tongue. He would do whatever his Master decided.
“I want you to tell me if this gets too much, alright?” Hotch told him.
“Yes, Sir,” Spencer replied quietly.
“Ok, let´s get started.” And his Master had sat him down behind the extra desk and spent a good part of the morning explaining what he wanted done with the files in dozen boxes that stood against the wall. Around ten-thirty, Hotch claimed a coffee-break and walked out of the office. Spencer watched him go, but since he hadn´t asked him to follow he stayed at his desk.
Hotch walked in with his cup and sat down at his table, shuffling through the papers as the aroma of the coffee filled the room. Spencer tried to keep his focus on the report in front of him, but the scent was a distraction.
“If you want some coffee you need to get it yourself,” his Master said without looking up.
Glancing toward the other man, Spencer debated if this was a test of some kind, but he really wanted some coffee. Finally he decided that the punishment would be worth the cup of coffee and slowly got up from the desk. He kept his gaze to the floor as he made his way as quietly as possible down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Half way through he noticed a blond entering the small corner.’ Agent Jareau’, Spencer recalled, and stopped just shy of entering the kitchenette.
She looked over her shoulder and smiled toward him. “Looking for coffee?” she asked brightly, “Unfortunately you´ll probably find yourself living on it soon enough.”
Spencer kept his eyes on the floor, not replying and unsure how to react to her words. JJ pulled an extra cup from above cupboard and filled it with coffee.
“I can´t promise it´s any good,” JJ told him, “How do you take it?”
“Umm… with sugar,” Spencer replied just loud enough for her to hear but he didn´t move or look up from the floor.
“Here, help yourself.” JJ pushed the mug and the sugar shaker toward him, but it meant he would have to take the steps that separated him from the counter and stand next to her.
Spencer willed himself not to move, he wasn´t allowed to stand so close to others unless it was with his Master permission. He felt Agent Jareau send him small glances but he firmly kept his gaze on the floor. Soon she headed for her office through the glass doors.
Looking shyly over his shoulder, Spencer noticed no one was watching him. Carefully, he made his way toward the counter and poured good amount of sugar into already full cup. He slowly raised the cup to his mouth and took a sip. Heavenly.
He took the cup and made his way to his Master´s office. Hotch didn´t even look up as Spencer sat down, but if he´d looked close enough he would have seen a faint smile on his Master´s face.
Run-in
FRM
It was the third case Reid had been allowed to go on. As on the other cases Reid stayed at the station with JJ. Reid had very quickly warmed to JJ, although they didn´t share much personally, she had very much taken him under her wing.
Reid stood in front of the map, his mind working out the geographical profile along with trying pinpoint what was nibbling at the back of his mind. Frustrated he grabbed his mug and headed for the break-room for some coffee.
He´d just returned the pot into the brewer when the sheriff showed up in the doorway. The Sheriff was a tall and rounded man who´d been forced to let the BAU in. When they´d showed up and Hotch had pointed out that they could just take the case away from him since it was Federal, the Sheriff had reluctantly let them in. The whole team (and the station) had seen the fury boiling in the man when he realized, on top of everything else, the team had brought a Convict into his station. Reid had carefully made sure he´d stayed out of the man´s way.
“What the hell do you think you´re doing,” the sheriff growled and Reid couldn´t help but freeze.
“I´m… I´m getting… coffee, sir,” Reid stammered and automatically hung his head.
The sheriff walked up to him, hands on his belt and leaned in to Reid´s personal space. “I don´t remember giving you permission to drink my coffee,” the man growled.
“My Master…” Reid spoke.
“Your Master is weak,” the Sheriff cut him off, “letting you walk around without a leash.”
Reid felt his breathing pick up and his body tense as the panic rushed over him.
“Kneel,” the Sheriff ordered and Reid fell to his knees. He tried to hold back the whimper as the other man walked around him. The toe of the sheriff´s boot dug into his hip. “Wouldn´t mind a piece of this ass. Think I need to talk to your Master about that,” the Sheriff said half sniggering. Reid closed his eyes and mewled quietly in fear.
“What the hell is going on here?” Reid registered Morgan´s voice but winced at the loud authoritative voice.
“Your Convict needs to know his place,” the Sheriff growled.
Morgan walked into the break-room and straight into the Sheriff´s face, rage radiating from every muscle in Morgan´s body.
Rossi came in, following Morgan after seeing him disappear behind the frame. He took one look at the scene and walked over to Reid
“Come on, Reid, stand up,” Dave said quietly. Reid heard the words but the terror that had taken over him kept him from moving. The young man barely registered as Rossi firmly took Spencer´s shoulders and pulled him to his feet before leading him to the conference room. He kept gaze firmly on the ground, his shoulders hunched and body shaking with anxiety. As soon as Rossi let go of him, Spencer fell to the floor and crawled into the nearest corner. His body quivering and his arms wrapped around his waist, quietly sobbing.
Reid flinched and whimpered when he felt someone sit on the floor next to him.
“It´s alright, kid, you´re safe now,” Morgan said quietly, but made no attempt to touch him, “He won´t hurt you, I´ll make sure of hit. You´re safe.”
”Stay still, Convict, you´re ass is mine.” “Look, Gary, he likes it.” “Come on, little whore, you can do better that that.” James´ cruel laughter echoed. The smell of hay and horses filled his nose. Images of the stable´s walls and horses’ feet came to his mind. Hay scratched his arms and legs as the horses snorted.
Someone was talking to him. He knew that voice and he listened more carefully, letting the voice lead him back.
“Spencer, it´s Hoch, I need you to open your eyes,” the voice said quietly. Fingers brushed over his where they stuck out from under his elbow.
“Spencer, please open your eyes and look at me.” His Master´s voice finally registered in his mind and he snapped his eyes open. He instantly saw the worry on Hotch´s face, and quickly averted his eyes.
“Spencer?” Hotch was staring at him.
“Yes, Sir,” Reid managed to push past the lump in his throat.
“You just had a flashback, I need you to take a deep breath.”
Reid knew that but his mind was still paralyzed by the images. The breathing did little to stop the shivering and the terror in his mind.
“Do you think you can get up from the floor?” Hotch asked softly. Knowing he could move, Reid slowly stood up and sat in nearby chair.
Hotch took a seat next to him and leaned forward. “Do you want to go to the hotel? I´ll go with you.”
That was the last thing Reid wanted, he was still trying to focus on Hotch´s voice as he tried to relax. Reid shook his head and tried to take as deep breaths as he could, his body slowly breaking from the terror. “I´m okay, sir,” he finally managed between the shaky breathes.
“Spencer” Hotch´s voice was low, “You don´t have to stay here.”
“No, I´m fine, sir,” Spencer replied, “I´d like to stay, if that´s alright?”
Hotch sighed and the young man felt as his Master´s eyes on him, assessing him. Spencer looked around, trying to find something else to occupy his mind. His eyes fell on the crimescene photos on the table and it all became clear.
“That´s it,” Reid breathed.
“What is?” Hotch asked.
“The Unsub is impotent and it outrages him, that´s why he tortures them.” Reid jumped up and studied the pictures.
“Reid?” Hotch tried to stop him.
“Here,” he pointed, “I couldn´t understand these marks on the bodies.”
Hotch watched him for a few seconds, and Reid knew he was trying to make up his mind, if he should let him stay and help with the case or send him back to the hotel. “But he rapes them,” Hotch said as the Agent in him won.
“We couldn´t find any DNA because he used some kind of instrument for the penetration and a rejection could be the stressor, especially if it happened because of the impotence,” Reid replied quickly, his mind trying to form the idea into words.
“These lines on the victims are from spread bars,” Reid pointed to marks on two of the pictures of inside thighs and upper arms,” These rounded marks are from the bars pressing into the skin. Normally they come padded but sometimes Masters will remove them to inflict pain.”
Reid didn´t see how Hotch flinched at the words.
”Look how pretty you are. Just begging us to fuck you, Convict.” Reid froze as the words rushed through his mind.
Hotch stepped in front of Reid, obviously having seen Reid´s hesitant. “Spencer, I´m having JJ take you to the hotel,” he said delicately.
Reid glanced at his Master before looking down, hiding the blush that crept into his cheeks. “Alright, Sir.”
The silence hung between them for a few more seconds before Hotch walked to the door and let the team in. He stopped JJ in the doorway and asked her take Reid back.
Hotch felt the tension rise in the room as he explained Reid´s findings. He could relate to Morgan´s anger and Dave´s repulsion as they threw around ideas.
Safe
Follows immediately after Run-in
FRT
Hotch walked down the hallway at the hotel. Knocking carefully on the door to Spencer´s room, which was adjoined to his, Hotch sighed as he waited for a reply. JJ opened the door with a worried frown and Hotch noticed Spencer was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, his legs pulled up and crossed as he looking out the window.
“How is he?” He asked the blond woman quietly.
“He hasn´t said a word,” JJ answered just as softly, “I tried to get him to eat something but….”
“Okay,” Hotch nodded understanding.
JJ started walking toward her own room but he stopped her by calling her name. “Thank you,” Hotch said sincerely.
Smiling softly, JJ replied: “Anytime, Hotch.”
Hotch stepped into the room and noticed that Spencer turned his head and looked at him but didn´t acknowledge him otherwise. He saw an untouched wrapped sandwich on the desk as he threw his jacket over the back of the chair. Pulling off his tie, he unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt as he made his way across the room and took a seat opposite his Convict with the small table between them.
He´d never seen Reid sit so still and it worried him. Usually he was looking over his shoulder, flinching or jumping at every move someone made around him or just plainly fidgeting as he stood unsure. This quiet being sitting in front of him was troubling.
“Did you catch him?” Reid asked after the silence had hung between them for a few minutes because Hotch didn´t know where to start.
“Yes. Your geographic profile let us to a shed he´d built in the desert, after we´d put your… information into the profile,” Hotch said.
Reid nodded but didn´t take his eyes of the window.
“Are you alright?” Hotch asked, not sure if that was the right question.
“Yes, Sir. I´m fine.” Reid answered quickly without moving, too quickly.
And Hotch new this Spencer, the one that followed the rules and did everything he could to be as invisible as possible but this calmness was something new.
Raising his hand toward the young man, Hotch stopped as Reid flinched away and looked at his hand before looking at him. There was a storm racing inside the amber eyes and once again Hotch wondered how he could be so still. Hotch reached for the loose collar around Spencer´s neck and quickly opened the buckle, throwing it on the bed further away from them.
“It´s just you and me here. Talk to me,” he almost demanded.
Spencer quietly huffed. “I had a flashback, that´s it,” Spencer said evenly.
“Do you think you have PTSD?” Hotch countered.
“No. It´s the first time I´ve experienced... something like this,” Spencer said quietly.
“Nightmares?”
Spencer glanced at him before looking down into his lap. “Sometimes. Sometimes about… this… other times the cases.”
It was the first time in the almost nine months since Spencer moved in with him that Spencer talked like this. It had become a routine, the first thing Aaron did when they came home in the evening, even before they took off their coats, he removed the collar from Spencer. Their evenings were spent in quietness, with Spencer reading, watching TV or working on one thing or another but never talking, like now. They usually just talked about things like groceries and cases, what needed to be done around the apartment, superficial things.
Aaron nodded slowly. “We all have those,” he told him quietly and they both knew that. Hotch knew that Reid had woken up to his cry outs just as he´d woken up to his.
“What triggered it?” Aaron asked quietly although he was sure he knew. Morgan had filled him in, his black hand closed into a fierce fist and the Unit Chief knew Spencer had gained one more protector. It had been proven when they´d been standing outside the station after the case, Morgan had given a surprised Prentiss his badge and gun, walked up the chief and given him one on the nose after the Sheriff had mocked them for being an agent down.
“Be sure you can take it as well as you give it,” Morgan had spat at the man on the ground before walking away, paying no attention to his team. Hotch, Prentiss and Rossi all noticed how the other officers hid their smiles and ignored their boss as they shuffled inside the station.
Prentiss indicated she would take care of Morgan and Hotch had gone to the hotel, still deciding if he needed to reprimand his agent for his action.
“His voce,” Spencer said after some thought.
“The tone of his voice?” Aaron asked trying to find the root.
“No. You all have authoritative voices but they don´t give me…” Spencer said and Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise. “More like the way he used it,” the young man finished quietly.
“So why did you have a flashback, now?” Aaron watched the young man debate himself, he was glad to notice that he´d started moving again.
“The prefrontal cortex is shooting neurons to the hippocampus which in return triggers the memories and the amygdala.
The older man stared at him, somewhere in that line was the answer. “And it does that because…?” Aaron wasn´t sure it was healthy to talk about Spencer in third person like this.
“While the amygdala primary function is to process memories and emotional reactions, it works with the hippocampus and the frontal cortex witch stores the memories. If the memories are too emotional to process the brain will store the incident without going through the amygdala and the frontal cortex. When the prefrontal cortex is triggered, either by smell, scent, tone of voice, it recalls a memory, in this case, one that hasn´t been processed and forces the amygdala to process the memory and the frontal cortex to react.”*
“Spencer, in English, please,” Hotch said quietly, since he hadn´t understood half of that speech but he knew Spencer was hiding behind his intellect to avoid answering the question.
Said man hung his head, his fingers moving around his legs, nervously. “It means my brain feels safe enough to allow the memories to be processed.”
Aaron was afraid to breath, as if it would spook the other man. “Do you feel safe?” he asked finally, “with me… with us?”
Amber-eyes locked with his, Hotch noticed how they seemed calmer now and Spencer seemed to have regained his earlier fidgetiness. Spencer smiled before averting his eyes to the floor. “Yes,” the young man admitted quietly.
Warmth spread over Hotch´s body. He felt relief and joy, he´d managed to give his Convict something he´d desperately needed. A safe place.
“Thank you,” Aaron dared to whisper, if he´d spoken too loudly the spell might have been broken.
* I took a bit of liberty when I wrote this. It seems though no one knows how the brain stores memories but I did a bit of research and this is what I came up with. I´m not a doctor and never will be.
Whole
FRAO
Spencer´s body writhed, each cell in his body waiting for the explosion and each nerve working as a fuse begging to be lit. Aaron had laid him down in Aaron´s bed and torturingly slowly he´d brushed his eyes, hands, fingers, tongue and teeth over every inch of his body, leaving him one spark short of burning up in white flames.
He´d never known it could be like this. That sex could feel so empowering, freeing and perfect all at the same time. To be laid out and explored and worshiped
Spencer was kneeling on the bed with Aaron behind him. Spencer´s left hand firmly on Aaron´s thigh and his right clutching the hand around his waist. The slow phase Aaron had set did nothing but send rows of sparks to tease the nerves that begged for release, making him hiss on each thrust.
Aaron nibbled at crook of the young man´s neck. “Look,” he whispered, “see how gorgeous you are.”
And Spencer couldn´t help but open his eyes, looking straight in the full length mirror on the closet in front of them and he forgot how to draw in a breath at the erotic image before him. His eyes followed Aaron´s left hand as it gently stroked down Spencer´s nacked neck and chest, over his abdomen and cupped his sack before circling tightly around the stiff cock. He moaned at the sensation but still it wasn´t enough to send him off the cliff.
“Glorious and graceful,” Aaron whispered in his ear and Spencer watched Aaron´s face become soft as he planted a chaste kiss on his lover´s temple. The words made Spencer tremble as a wave rushed over his body, electrifying the pool in his abdomen.
Spencer raised his right hand and threaded his fingers through the dark mass of strings, making Aaron look in the mirror and locking their eyes together. Aaron´s face was flushed and relaxed, eyes dark and warm, his hunger and need evident as he tightened his hold on Spencer´s slim waist. The last piece fell into place as Spencer stared into Aaron´s dark eyes, he was in love with this man. He felt completed as Aaron slowly rocked in and out of his body, he felt whole as the love spread through his entire body.
“Exquisite,” Aaron whispered. Spencer´s head fell back on Aaron´s shoulder with a whimper of need, he was right there.
“Breathtakingly beautiful,” Aaron breathed into Spencer´s ear and it was the spark he´d been waiting for. Spencer´s body shook as the fire ran over every nerve until it hit the dynamite. Finally he exploded with climax and he was coming, coming, coming all over the hand that tucked at his aching hardness. He felt when Aaron thrust hard inside him before Aaron´s low growl vibrated over Spencer´s back as Aaron filled him.
Spencer was barely aware as Aaron laid them down on their sides, Aaron´s hands wrapping around him. A kiss was planted at the nape of his neck and he smiled a lazy smile.
“You are so amazing,” Aaron whispered and left a trail of lazy kisses on Spencer´s back.
“Aaron,” Spencer managed to breathe out as he came down from the bliss, “I… You… You need to give me a minute… for my brain to work.”
He heard Aaron chuckle. “I´ll take that as a compliment. Your brain is hard to shut off.”
Spencer turned his head, facing the older man. He dug his fingers again into the dark hair and looked into the dark pools. What had he done to deserve such a remarkable man?
Beta: Unbeta
Raitings: Each chapter is raited
Disclaimer: Not mine.
X-posted at criminalxminds and cm_hotch_reid
Coffee-break
FRC
Spencer found his job to be fairly easy. The reading through the reports and summarizing the events were the easy part. The pictures of mutilated and dead bodies along with descriptions of what the Unsubs did to some of their victims were not. Sometimes it just struck to close to home.
After the introduction in the briefing room and the short escort around the floor and the library, his Master had sat down with him and told him this job had a gruesome side to it. Human beings were good at torturing other human beings. Spencer had listened and held his gaze firmly to his lap.
“Spencer?” Hotch had finished his speech, “This job isn´t for everyone and it´s alright if you think you can´t do it. None of us will think any less of you and I´ll find you other assignments.”
Spencer wasn´t sure if he was supposed to answer. He was, however, very intrigued by his Master´s job and wanted to learn more, but he held his tongue. He would do whatever his Master decided.
“I want you to tell me if this gets too much, alright?” Hotch told him.
“Yes, Sir,” Spencer replied quietly.
“Ok, let´s get started.” And his Master had sat him down behind the extra desk and spent a good part of the morning explaining what he wanted done with the files in dozen boxes that stood against the wall. Around ten-thirty, Hotch claimed a coffee-break and walked out of the office. Spencer watched him go, but since he hadn´t asked him to follow he stayed at his desk.
Hotch walked in with his cup and sat down at his table, shuffling through the papers as the aroma of the coffee filled the room. Spencer tried to keep his focus on the report in front of him, but the scent was a distraction.
“If you want some coffee you need to get it yourself,” his Master said without looking up.
Glancing toward the other man, Spencer debated if this was a test of some kind, but he really wanted some coffee. Finally he decided that the punishment would be worth the cup of coffee and slowly got up from the desk. He kept his gaze to the floor as he made his way as quietly as possible down the stairs and toward the kitchen. Half way through he noticed a blond entering the small corner.’ Agent Jareau’, Spencer recalled, and stopped just shy of entering the kitchenette.
She looked over her shoulder and smiled toward him. “Looking for coffee?” she asked brightly, “Unfortunately you´ll probably find yourself living on it soon enough.”
Spencer kept his eyes on the floor, not replying and unsure how to react to her words. JJ pulled an extra cup from above cupboard and filled it with coffee.
“I can´t promise it´s any good,” JJ told him, “How do you take it?”
“Umm… with sugar,” Spencer replied just loud enough for her to hear but he didn´t move or look up from the floor.
“Here, help yourself.” JJ pushed the mug and the sugar shaker toward him, but it meant he would have to take the steps that separated him from the counter and stand next to her.
Spencer willed himself not to move, he wasn´t allowed to stand so close to others unless it was with his Master permission. He felt Agent Jareau send him small glances but he firmly kept his gaze on the floor. Soon she headed for her office through the glass doors.
Looking shyly over his shoulder, Spencer noticed no one was watching him. Carefully, he made his way toward the counter and poured good amount of sugar into already full cup. He slowly raised the cup to his mouth and took a sip. Heavenly.
He took the cup and made his way to his Master´s office. Hotch didn´t even look up as Spencer sat down, but if he´d looked close enough he would have seen a faint smile on his Master´s face.
Run-in
FRM
It was the third case Reid had been allowed to go on. As on the other cases Reid stayed at the station with JJ. Reid had very quickly warmed to JJ, although they didn´t share much personally, she had very much taken him under her wing.
Reid stood in front of the map, his mind working out the geographical profile along with trying pinpoint what was nibbling at the back of his mind. Frustrated he grabbed his mug and headed for the break-room for some coffee.
He´d just returned the pot into the brewer when the sheriff showed up in the doorway. The Sheriff was a tall and rounded man who´d been forced to let the BAU in. When they´d showed up and Hotch had pointed out that they could just take the case away from him since it was Federal, the Sheriff had reluctantly let them in. The whole team (and the station) had seen the fury boiling in the man when he realized, on top of everything else, the team had brought a Convict into his station. Reid had carefully made sure he´d stayed out of the man´s way.
“What the hell do you think you´re doing,” the sheriff growled and Reid couldn´t help but freeze.
“I´m… I´m getting… coffee, sir,” Reid stammered and automatically hung his head.
The sheriff walked up to him, hands on his belt and leaned in to Reid´s personal space. “I don´t remember giving you permission to drink my coffee,” the man growled.
“My Master…” Reid spoke.
“Your Master is weak,” the Sheriff cut him off, “letting you walk around without a leash.”
Reid felt his breathing pick up and his body tense as the panic rushed over him.
“Kneel,” the Sheriff ordered and Reid fell to his knees. He tried to hold back the whimper as the other man walked around him. The toe of the sheriff´s boot dug into his hip. “Wouldn´t mind a piece of this ass. Think I need to talk to your Master about that,” the Sheriff said half sniggering. Reid closed his eyes and mewled quietly in fear.
“What the hell is going on here?” Reid registered Morgan´s voice but winced at the loud authoritative voice.
“Your Convict needs to know his place,” the Sheriff growled.
Morgan walked into the break-room and straight into the Sheriff´s face, rage radiating from every muscle in Morgan´s body.
Rossi came in, following Morgan after seeing him disappear behind the frame. He took one look at the scene and walked over to Reid
“Come on, Reid, stand up,” Dave said quietly. Reid heard the words but the terror that had taken over him kept him from moving. The young man barely registered as Rossi firmly took Spencer´s shoulders and pulled him to his feet before leading him to the conference room. He kept gaze firmly on the ground, his shoulders hunched and body shaking with anxiety. As soon as Rossi let go of him, Spencer fell to the floor and crawled into the nearest corner. His body quivering and his arms wrapped around his waist, quietly sobbing.
Reid flinched and whimpered when he felt someone sit on the floor next to him.
“It´s alright, kid, you´re safe now,” Morgan said quietly, but made no attempt to touch him, “He won´t hurt you, I´ll make sure of hit. You´re safe.”
”Stay still, Convict, you´re ass is mine.” “Look, Gary, he likes it.” “Come on, little whore, you can do better that that.” James´ cruel laughter echoed. The smell of hay and horses filled his nose. Images of the stable´s walls and horses’ feet came to his mind. Hay scratched his arms and legs as the horses snorted.
Someone was talking to him. He knew that voice and he listened more carefully, letting the voice lead him back.
“Spencer, it´s Hoch, I need you to open your eyes,” the voice said quietly. Fingers brushed over his where they stuck out from under his elbow.
“Spencer, please open your eyes and look at me.” His Master´s voice finally registered in his mind and he snapped his eyes open. He instantly saw the worry on Hotch´s face, and quickly averted his eyes.
“Spencer?” Hotch was staring at him.
“Yes, Sir,” Reid managed to push past the lump in his throat.
“You just had a flashback, I need you to take a deep breath.”
Reid knew that but his mind was still paralyzed by the images. The breathing did little to stop the shivering and the terror in his mind.
“Do you think you can get up from the floor?” Hotch asked softly. Knowing he could move, Reid slowly stood up and sat in nearby chair.
Hotch took a seat next to him and leaned forward. “Do you want to go to the hotel? I´ll go with you.”
That was the last thing Reid wanted, he was still trying to focus on Hotch´s voice as he tried to relax. Reid shook his head and tried to take as deep breaths as he could, his body slowly breaking from the terror. “I´m okay, sir,” he finally managed between the shaky breathes.
“Spencer” Hotch´s voice was low, “You don´t have to stay here.”
“No, I´m fine, sir,” Spencer replied, “I´d like to stay, if that´s alright?”
Hotch sighed and the young man felt as his Master´s eyes on him, assessing him. Spencer looked around, trying to find something else to occupy his mind. His eyes fell on the crimescene photos on the table and it all became clear.
“That´s it,” Reid breathed.
“What is?” Hotch asked.
“The Unsub is impotent and it outrages him, that´s why he tortures them.” Reid jumped up and studied the pictures.
“Reid?” Hotch tried to stop him.
“Here,” he pointed, “I couldn´t understand these marks on the bodies.”
Hotch watched him for a few seconds, and Reid knew he was trying to make up his mind, if he should let him stay and help with the case or send him back to the hotel. “But he rapes them,” Hotch said as the Agent in him won.
“We couldn´t find any DNA because he used some kind of instrument for the penetration and a rejection could be the stressor, especially if it happened because of the impotence,” Reid replied quickly, his mind trying to form the idea into words.
“These lines on the victims are from spread bars,” Reid pointed to marks on two of the pictures of inside thighs and upper arms,” These rounded marks are from the bars pressing into the skin. Normally they come padded but sometimes Masters will remove them to inflict pain.”
Reid didn´t see how Hotch flinched at the words.
”Look how pretty you are. Just begging us to fuck you, Convict.” Reid froze as the words rushed through his mind.
Hotch stepped in front of Reid, obviously having seen Reid´s hesitant. “Spencer, I´m having JJ take you to the hotel,” he said delicately.
Reid glanced at his Master before looking down, hiding the blush that crept into his cheeks. “Alright, Sir.”
The silence hung between them for a few more seconds before Hotch walked to the door and let the team in. He stopped JJ in the doorway and asked her take Reid back.
Hotch felt the tension rise in the room as he explained Reid´s findings. He could relate to Morgan´s anger and Dave´s repulsion as they threw around ideas.
Safe
Follows immediately after Run-in
FRT
Hotch walked down the hallway at the hotel. Knocking carefully on the door to Spencer´s room, which was adjoined to his, Hotch sighed as he waited for a reply. JJ opened the door with a worried frown and Hotch noticed Spencer was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room, his legs pulled up and crossed as he looking out the window.
“How is he?” He asked the blond woman quietly.
“He hasn´t said a word,” JJ answered just as softly, “I tried to get him to eat something but….”
“Okay,” Hotch nodded understanding.
JJ started walking toward her own room but he stopped her by calling her name. “Thank you,” Hotch said sincerely.
Smiling softly, JJ replied: “Anytime, Hotch.”
Hotch stepped into the room and noticed that Spencer turned his head and looked at him but didn´t acknowledge him otherwise. He saw an untouched wrapped sandwich on the desk as he threw his jacket over the back of the chair. Pulling off his tie, he unbuttoned the top buttons on his shirt as he made his way across the room and took a seat opposite his Convict with the small table between them.
He´d never seen Reid sit so still and it worried him. Usually he was looking over his shoulder, flinching or jumping at every move someone made around him or just plainly fidgeting as he stood unsure. This quiet being sitting in front of him was troubling.
“Did you catch him?” Reid asked after the silence had hung between them for a few minutes because Hotch didn´t know where to start.
“Yes. Your geographic profile let us to a shed he´d built in the desert, after we´d put your… information into the profile,” Hotch said.
Reid nodded but didn´t take his eyes of the window.
“Are you alright?” Hotch asked, not sure if that was the right question.
“Yes, Sir. I´m fine.” Reid answered quickly without moving, too quickly.
And Hotch new this Spencer, the one that followed the rules and did everything he could to be as invisible as possible but this calmness was something new.
Raising his hand toward the young man, Hotch stopped as Reid flinched away and looked at his hand before looking at him. There was a storm racing inside the amber eyes and once again Hotch wondered how he could be so still. Hotch reached for the loose collar around Spencer´s neck and quickly opened the buckle, throwing it on the bed further away from them.
“It´s just you and me here. Talk to me,” he almost demanded.
Spencer quietly huffed. “I had a flashback, that´s it,” Spencer said evenly.
“Do you think you have PTSD?” Hotch countered.
“No. It´s the first time I´ve experienced... something like this,” Spencer said quietly.
“Nightmares?”
Spencer glanced at him before looking down into his lap. “Sometimes. Sometimes about… this… other times the cases.”
It was the first time in the almost nine months since Spencer moved in with him that Spencer talked like this. It had become a routine, the first thing Aaron did when they came home in the evening, even before they took off their coats, he removed the collar from Spencer. Their evenings were spent in quietness, with Spencer reading, watching TV or working on one thing or another but never talking, like now. They usually just talked about things like groceries and cases, what needed to be done around the apartment, superficial things.
Aaron nodded slowly. “We all have those,” he told him quietly and they both knew that. Hotch knew that Reid had woken up to his cry outs just as he´d woken up to his.
“What triggered it?” Aaron asked quietly although he was sure he knew. Morgan had filled him in, his black hand closed into a fierce fist and the Unit Chief knew Spencer had gained one more protector. It had been proven when they´d been standing outside the station after the case, Morgan had given a surprised Prentiss his badge and gun, walked up the chief and given him one on the nose after the Sheriff had mocked them for being an agent down.
“Be sure you can take it as well as you give it,” Morgan had spat at the man on the ground before walking away, paying no attention to his team. Hotch, Prentiss and Rossi all noticed how the other officers hid their smiles and ignored their boss as they shuffled inside the station.
Prentiss indicated she would take care of Morgan and Hotch had gone to the hotel, still deciding if he needed to reprimand his agent for his action.
“His voce,” Spencer said after some thought.
“The tone of his voice?” Aaron asked trying to find the root.
“No. You all have authoritative voices but they don´t give me…” Spencer said and Aaron raised his eyebrows in surprise. “More like the way he used it,” the young man finished quietly.
“So why did you have a flashback, now?” Aaron watched the young man debate himself, he was glad to notice that he´d started moving again.
“The prefrontal cortex is shooting neurons to the hippocampus which in return triggers the memories and the amygdala.
The older man stared at him, somewhere in that line was the answer. “And it does that because…?” Aaron wasn´t sure it was healthy to talk about Spencer in third person like this.
“While the amygdala primary function is to process memories and emotional reactions, it works with the hippocampus and the frontal cortex witch stores the memories. If the memories are too emotional to process the brain will store the incident without going through the amygdala and the frontal cortex. When the prefrontal cortex is triggered, either by smell, scent, tone of voice, it recalls a memory, in this case, one that hasn´t been processed and forces the amygdala to process the memory and the frontal cortex to react.”*
“Spencer, in English, please,” Hotch said quietly, since he hadn´t understood half of that speech but he knew Spencer was hiding behind his intellect to avoid answering the question.
Said man hung his head, his fingers moving around his legs, nervously. “It means my brain feels safe enough to allow the memories to be processed.”
Aaron was afraid to breath, as if it would spook the other man. “Do you feel safe?” he asked finally, “with me… with us?”
Amber-eyes locked with his, Hotch noticed how they seemed calmer now and Spencer seemed to have regained his earlier fidgetiness. Spencer smiled before averting his eyes to the floor. “Yes,” the young man admitted quietly.
Warmth spread over Hotch´s body. He felt relief and joy, he´d managed to give his Convict something he´d desperately needed. A safe place.
“Thank you,” Aaron dared to whisper, if he´d spoken too loudly the spell might have been broken.
* I took a bit of liberty when I wrote this. It seems though no one knows how the brain stores memories but I did a bit of research and this is what I came up with. I´m not a doctor and never will be.
Whole
FRAO
Spencer´s body writhed, each cell in his body waiting for the explosion and each nerve working as a fuse begging to be lit. Aaron had laid him down in Aaron´s bed and torturingly slowly he´d brushed his eyes, hands, fingers, tongue and teeth over every inch of his body, leaving him one spark short of burning up in white flames.
He´d never known it could be like this. That sex could feel so empowering, freeing and perfect all at the same time. To be laid out and explored and worshiped
Spencer was kneeling on the bed with Aaron behind him. Spencer´s left hand firmly on Aaron´s thigh and his right clutching the hand around his waist. The slow phase Aaron had set did nothing but send rows of sparks to tease the nerves that begged for release, making him hiss on each thrust.
Aaron nibbled at crook of the young man´s neck. “Look,” he whispered, “see how gorgeous you are.”
And Spencer couldn´t help but open his eyes, looking straight in the full length mirror on the closet in front of them and he forgot how to draw in a breath at the erotic image before him. His eyes followed Aaron´s left hand as it gently stroked down Spencer´s nacked neck and chest, over his abdomen and cupped his sack before circling tightly around the stiff cock. He moaned at the sensation but still it wasn´t enough to send him off the cliff.
“Glorious and graceful,” Aaron whispered in his ear and Spencer watched Aaron´s face become soft as he planted a chaste kiss on his lover´s temple. The words made Spencer tremble as a wave rushed over his body, electrifying the pool in his abdomen.
Spencer raised his right hand and threaded his fingers through the dark mass of strings, making Aaron look in the mirror and locking their eyes together. Aaron´s face was flushed and relaxed, eyes dark and warm, his hunger and need evident as he tightened his hold on Spencer´s slim waist. The last piece fell into place as Spencer stared into Aaron´s dark eyes, he was in love with this man. He felt completed as Aaron slowly rocked in and out of his body, he felt whole as the love spread through his entire body.
“Exquisite,” Aaron whispered. Spencer´s head fell back on Aaron´s shoulder with a whimper of need, he was right there.
“Breathtakingly beautiful,” Aaron breathed into Spencer´s ear and it was the spark he´d been waiting for. Spencer´s body shook as the fire ran over every nerve until it hit the dynamite. Finally he exploded with climax and he was coming, coming, coming all over the hand that tucked at his aching hardness. He felt when Aaron thrust hard inside him before Aaron´s low growl vibrated over Spencer´s back as Aaron filled him.
Spencer was barely aware as Aaron laid them down on their sides, Aaron´s hands wrapping around him. A kiss was planted at the nape of his neck and he smiled a lazy smile.
“You are so amazing,” Aaron whispered and left a trail of lazy kisses on Spencer´s back.
“Aaron,” Spencer managed to breathe out as he came down from the bliss, “I… You… You need to give me a minute… for my brain to work.”
He heard Aaron chuckle. “I´ll take that as a compliment. Your brain is hard to shut off.”
Spencer turned his head, facing the older man. He dug his fingers again into the dark hair and looked into the dark pools. What had he done to deserve such a remarkable man?