Write Off; battle five
Who: Emma Frost
Where: Through time and space -really, it's Emma's psyche
What: Write off battle; prompt 'Death Cab for Cutie' - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Rating: PG-13
The laughter carried over the courtyard, warm and light, something the Emma could almost forget. "Is there a reason we're here?" Boston in the fall was always pretty; bitter winds at times, but pretty. The trees turned the burnt orange and the petals fell from the blossoms so carelessly to litter the ground. She hadn't spent a fall in Boston in years though.
"Patience." She turned to glare, ignoring the stern look she got in return.
"I'm beginning to think you don't know me at all." She wasn't the patient sort, and she most certainly did not like being in the dark. But then, there was nothing but dark at that moment in time. Emma wasn't a creature used to the shadows, she didn't hide in them, she didn't skulk or move with them. She stepped out, she was seen, she was noticed. This was not who she was.
"Christian, come on, you're too slow!" Her attention is drawn back to the scene in front of her, out in the courtyard, the four children playing. She can recognise them without trouble, even with all the time that's passed and all attempts to shove the memories down.
"I'm coming Emmy, I'm coming." Dusting off his hat, tugging his scarf tighter, Christian pulled himself to his feet and chased after Emmy.
"He breaks his wrist later, falling over some stones. Adrienne will blame Cordelia, but really, he just tripped."
"You went to the hospital with him. Even though you hate them."
"Of course I did, he's my brother."
Everything swirls, almost like Vertigo was nearby and Emma closes her eyes to let the world around her fade away before things reform. It's not the house this time, they're outside, and Emma doesn't recognise it at first. "Where's this?"
"You remember." It's almost a command, which irritates her, but it does jog her memory.
"School." It doesn't take long for her to find what she's there to see. Two blondes, sitting on one of the benches, the girl with her legs drawn up to her chest pressed to the boys shoulder and sobbing quietly against him. "He never asked why. It was Adrienne, of course. Ian was fired and I was a foolish sixteen year old who thought the world was ending. He never asked why though, just held me and told me it would be okay."
"You believed him."
"He was usually right."
Once again, the scene changed, things fading out in a swirl of colour, leaking and mixing together. They stand in the middle of the grand room, three females sitting on a hideous couch with a balding, round man in front of them.
"You know, Renne has his colouring, she was always so paranoid that she'd develop his build. She had a gastric band inserted when she was twenty one." Emma snorts slightly as she walks over, her hand running over the top of Cordelia's shaved head. "Delia, on the other hand, was such a stick insect that Mother envied her own daughter. Then again, Mother was hardly sober enough to remember which of us were which."
"Bitter, Emma?"
"Desensitised, is more like it." She remembers this moment with crystal clarity, she can see the tear streaks on her own face. Father had just had Christian locked up, Adrienne was sure she'd be named the successor in light of Christian's 'condition'. "I wanted to kill her right then. I didn't care how. Right now, look, you can see it. I'm imagining how many ways I could use that letter opener to kill her."
Emma smirks at Adrienne's face as their Father once more names Emma his successor, his heir, his chosen daughter. "Sometimes I wonder, what would've happened if I hadn't walked away." But she rises, tells her father she doesn't want it and leaves, stunning her sisters, leaving her Father gaping like a fish.
"Why didn't you?"
"I would've actually killed her back then."
"Do the years after make any difference?"
"They did to Christian."
Everything starts to melt away this time, Emma sighing, exhausted and emotional. "Why are we doing this? It's my life, I was there. There isn't a lot I forget you know." The curse of telepathy, perhaps. Compartmentalising everything into neat little categories. It wasn't just reading other peoples minds, it was calling up every tiny detail of your own life too.
"You've forgotten the important things."
"Such as?"
"How did it feel? Losing Christian?"
"Like someone had ripped out my heart," it wasn't a secret, most people knew it. Emma loved her brother dearly, would go to war for him, would tear apart hell for him, would face the Phoenix for him. When he'd been sent away, it hurt more than she knew. "It was agony, it was pure desolation with no end in sight."
"That's when you started to harden. That's when you stopped letting people in."
"Because they wouldn't stay." They sort of flew through a few scenes from her life. Troy, Ian, Astrid. Shaw was a grinning face that taunted, but Emma couldn't resent him for it. "If anything, Sebastian Shaw was the one decent thing that came out of my college years."
"He turned you."
"I was already turned. He gave me a chance, the one opportunity, to get Christian back." She doesn't like the scene in front of her now. The cold blue of the walls, the harsh white of the steel doors. "It's like a prison, he should've never been through it."
For a moment, he huddles away from her, even as Emma leans down and takes off her coat, wrapping it around his shoulders. It's a careful sort of change, his body leaning into hers and melting against the familiarity of that. It's a broken sort of scene, and Emma feels the tear roll down her cheek looking at it.
"He wasn't the same. He didn't come out the way he was. They made him think he was wrong, like being gay was something they could fix. He never understood that I could relate. He never saw past the bars." They end up in a cemetery, one Emma can recognise without difficulty.
"You still put him with them."
"I didn't want to. I wanted him to have his own place, a special place. But it's a family plot, and he is family." There are four headstones in a row, information carefully etched on each. "I haven't spoken to Cordelia since we buried him."
"You haven't smiled since you buried him."
"There's nothing to smile about."
"Really?"
It's a tilt this time, a sharp turn that causes her to stumble, and then she's on Xavier's grounds. There's laughter again, Armor and Wolfsbane running along the gardens, Ororo descending to scold them gently for running through her rose bushes. Wolverine and Gambit are sharing a space on the patio, beer bottles in hand. Pixie and Jubilee are sunbathing, Rogue and Psylocke sparring, Dazzler and Beast with Iceman, keeping a score.
In the background she can see Scott, standing near the doors, watching everything carefully with a leaders eye.
"Are you sure there's nothing to smile about?"
"They're all going to die. Just like the others." She's buried far too many people, her mother and father were no real loss. Her students, her Hellions; Catseye, Tarot, Jetstream, Roulette, Cypher. She'd buried too many of her fledgling team, then Christian had come so soon after losing Katherine, regardless of their turbulent relationship.
"What about him? Don't you think he needs you?" Emma was foolish enough to think that she could stand there, by his side, to make the difference and lead them.
"He's still in love with your mother, dear. Nothing is likely to change that."
"So you'll add your name to the plot? You'll be the next addition the Frost Family Plot in Massachusetts?" It was highly undesirable, but extremely likely. "You're comatose, Emma. Not dead."
"I am aware of this," and she was. Every aspect of her state, she was aware of, the machines, the visitors, the attempts to reach her. She was in the bowels of this very mansion she stood before, being tended to by the careful dedication for Hank McCoy and Dr Nemesis. "Charles is decidedly persistent in his attempts to break the barriers."
"Why not break them yourself?"
"Because I'd rather remain here, numb and cold, than walk into another battle and lose another loved one." Escapism was hardly Emma's thing, but right then, she had a hollow where her heart once was, where everyone believed a stone sat, cold and unfeeling. After all, they wouldn't allow her to maintain her diamond form constantly.
"Then suit yourself." And everything faded again. She could sense that she was alone this time, that Cable had pulled out and left her be. It wasn't ideal, but Emma was fine. Sitting alone, in the cold, harsh metal of the Danger Room, staring at the walls she'd put up around her mind.
It was fine. She'd be fine. It was quiet, and Emma had always complained about not having enough time to enjoy the quiet. Now, she had all the time in the world. Something had snapped, something was broken that couldn't be fixed, not without Christian. She'd failed him, she'd promised never to let him go through anything alone, to always be there.
His first day of school, she'd been the one to take his hand and lead him inside, promising it would be okay. She'd been the one to stand beside him against bully's, she'd been the one he came to when he developed a crush on her boyfriend, she'd been the one he'd cried on when their Father blew his top after Adrienne exposed him.
She'd been the one to find him dead.
She'd be fine. It was cold, and quiet, and lonely. But she'd be fine.
Where: Through time and space -really, it's Emma's psyche
What: Write off battle; prompt 'Death Cab for Cutie' - I Will Follow You Into The Dark
Rating: PG-13
The laughter carried over the courtyard, warm and light, something the Emma could almost forget. "Is there a reason we're here?" Boston in the fall was always pretty; bitter winds at times, but pretty. The trees turned the burnt orange and the petals fell from the blossoms so carelessly to litter the ground. She hadn't spent a fall in Boston in years though.
"Patience." She turned to glare, ignoring the stern look she got in return.
"I'm beginning to think you don't know me at all." She wasn't the patient sort, and she most certainly did not like being in the dark. But then, there was nothing but dark at that moment in time. Emma wasn't a creature used to the shadows, she didn't hide in them, she didn't skulk or move with them. She stepped out, she was seen, she was noticed. This was not who she was.
"Christian, come on, you're too slow!" Her attention is drawn back to the scene in front of her, out in the courtyard, the four children playing. She can recognise them without trouble, even with all the time that's passed and all attempts to shove the memories down.
"I'm coming Emmy, I'm coming." Dusting off his hat, tugging his scarf tighter, Christian pulled himself to his feet and chased after Emmy.
"He breaks his wrist later, falling over some stones. Adrienne will blame Cordelia, but really, he just tripped."
"You went to the hospital with him. Even though you hate them."
"Of course I did, he's my brother."
Everything swirls, almost like Vertigo was nearby and Emma closes her eyes to let the world around her fade away before things reform. It's not the house this time, they're outside, and Emma doesn't recognise it at first. "Where's this?"
"You remember." It's almost a command, which irritates her, but it does jog her memory.
"School." It doesn't take long for her to find what she's there to see. Two blondes, sitting on one of the benches, the girl with her legs drawn up to her chest pressed to the boys shoulder and sobbing quietly against him. "He never asked why. It was Adrienne, of course. Ian was fired and I was a foolish sixteen year old who thought the world was ending. He never asked why though, just held me and told me it would be okay."
"You believed him."
"He was usually right."
Once again, the scene changed, things fading out in a swirl of colour, leaking and mixing together. They stand in the middle of the grand room, three females sitting on a hideous couch with a balding, round man in front of them.
"You know, Renne has his colouring, she was always so paranoid that she'd develop his build. She had a gastric band inserted when she was twenty one." Emma snorts slightly as she walks over, her hand running over the top of Cordelia's shaved head. "Delia, on the other hand, was such a stick insect that Mother envied her own daughter. Then again, Mother was hardly sober enough to remember which of us were which."
"Bitter, Emma?"
"Desensitised, is more like it." She remembers this moment with crystal clarity, she can see the tear streaks on her own face. Father had just had Christian locked up, Adrienne was sure she'd be named the successor in light of Christian's 'condition'. "I wanted to kill her right then. I didn't care how. Right now, look, you can see it. I'm imagining how many ways I could use that letter opener to kill her."
Emma smirks at Adrienne's face as their Father once more names Emma his successor, his heir, his chosen daughter. "Sometimes I wonder, what would've happened if I hadn't walked away." But she rises, tells her father she doesn't want it and leaves, stunning her sisters, leaving her Father gaping like a fish.
"Why didn't you?"
"I would've actually killed her back then."
"Do the years after make any difference?"
"They did to Christian."
Everything starts to melt away this time, Emma sighing, exhausted and emotional. "Why are we doing this? It's my life, I was there. There isn't a lot I forget you know." The curse of telepathy, perhaps. Compartmentalising everything into neat little categories. It wasn't just reading other peoples minds, it was calling up every tiny detail of your own life too.
"You've forgotten the important things."
"Such as?"
"How did it feel? Losing Christian?"
"Like someone had ripped out my heart," it wasn't a secret, most people knew it. Emma loved her brother dearly, would go to war for him, would tear apart hell for him, would face the Phoenix for him. When he'd been sent away, it hurt more than she knew. "It was agony, it was pure desolation with no end in sight."
"That's when you started to harden. That's when you stopped letting people in."
"Because they wouldn't stay." They sort of flew through a few scenes from her life. Troy, Ian, Astrid. Shaw was a grinning face that taunted, but Emma couldn't resent him for it. "If anything, Sebastian Shaw was the one decent thing that came out of my college years."
"He turned you."
"I was already turned. He gave me a chance, the one opportunity, to get Christian back." She doesn't like the scene in front of her now. The cold blue of the walls, the harsh white of the steel doors. "It's like a prison, he should've never been through it."
For a moment, he huddles away from her, even as Emma leans down and takes off her coat, wrapping it around his shoulders. It's a careful sort of change, his body leaning into hers and melting against the familiarity of that. It's a broken sort of scene, and Emma feels the tear roll down her cheek looking at it.
"He wasn't the same. He didn't come out the way he was. They made him think he was wrong, like being gay was something they could fix. He never understood that I could relate. He never saw past the bars." They end up in a cemetery, one Emma can recognise without difficulty.
"You still put him with them."
"I didn't want to. I wanted him to have his own place, a special place. But it's a family plot, and he is family." There are four headstones in a row, information carefully etched on each. "I haven't spoken to Cordelia since we buried him."
"You haven't smiled since you buried him."
"There's nothing to smile about."
"Really?"
It's a tilt this time, a sharp turn that causes her to stumble, and then she's on Xavier's grounds. There's laughter again, Armor and Wolfsbane running along the gardens, Ororo descending to scold them gently for running through her rose bushes. Wolverine and Gambit are sharing a space on the patio, beer bottles in hand. Pixie and Jubilee are sunbathing, Rogue and Psylocke sparring, Dazzler and Beast with Iceman, keeping a score.
In the background she can see Scott, standing near the doors, watching everything carefully with a leaders eye.
"Are you sure there's nothing to smile about?"
"They're all going to die. Just like the others." She's buried far too many people, her mother and father were no real loss. Her students, her Hellions; Catseye, Tarot, Jetstream, Roulette, Cypher. She'd buried too many of her fledgling team, then Christian had come so soon after losing Katherine, regardless of their turbulent relationship.
"What about him? Don't you think he needs you?" Emma was foolish enough to think that she could stand there, by his side, to make the difference and lead them.
"He's still in love with your mother, dear. Nothing is likely to change that."
"So you'll add your name to the plot? You'll be the next addition the Frost Family Plot in Massachusetts?" It was highly undesirable, but extremely likely. "You're comatose, Emma. Not dead."
"I am aware of this," and she was. Every aspect of her state, she was aware of, the machines, the visitors, the attempts to reach her. She was in the bowels of this very mansion she stood before, being tended to by the careful dedication for Hank McCoy and Dr Nemesis. "Charles is decidedly persistent in his attempts to break the barriers."
"Why not break them yourself?"
"Because I'd rather remain here, numb and cold, than walk into another battle and lose another loved one." Escapism was hardly Emma's thing, but right then, she had a hollow where her heart once was, where everyone believed a stone sat, cold and unfeeling. After all, they wouldn't allow her to maintain her diamond form constantly.
"Then suit yourself." And everything faded again. She could sense that she was alone this time, that Cable had pulled out and left her be. It wasn't ideal, but Emma was fine. Sitting alone, in the cold, harsh metal of the Danger Room, staring at the walls she'd put up around her mind.
It was fine. She'd be fine. It was quiet, and Emma had always complained about not having enough time to enjoy the quiet. Now, she had all the time in the world. Something had snapped, something was broken that couldn't be fixed, not without Christian. She'd failed him, she'd promised never to let him go through anything alone, to always be there.
His first day of school, she'd been the one to take his hand and lead him inside, promising it would be okay. She'd been the one to stand beside him against bully's, she'd been the one he came to when he developed a crush on her boyfriend, she'd been the one he'd cried on when their Father blew his top after Adrienne exposed him.
She'd been the one to find him dead.
She'd be fine. It was cold, and quiet, and lonely. But she'd be fine.