Who: Wade Wilson
Where: Mess Hall
What: Unrepentant Wade is falsely repentant
Rating: PG-13
For:
notouchpolicy who asked for '"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!"'
Standing in front of the everyone, shoulders slumped, Wade really can't be bothered with the farce that this is. Everyone is sitting around, some of them still on the tin foil from early when the whole mess half ended up wrapped in the stuff -and that had taken ages! Didn't these people appreciate the effort he put into these things? Sykes was standing at one end, glaring away, and even Emma seemed a little miffed, but that was probably the blue in her hair that did it -she'd been perfectly understanding about her office filled with rubber ducks two days ago.
"This is stupid." He just wanted to get that out there right now, but apparently, he had to apologise. "She's sleeping! She's not even listening to my heartfelt apology." And true enough, Richards was face down on her tin foil table, blue paint smeared on her face, out cold to the world.
"She just spent the last nine hours getting the dried paint out of the sprinkler system."
"It's water soluble, and not flammable, it's fine." Really, it wasn't like he was going to get anyone killed. Yet.
"It could clog the system and cause issues if there ever is a fire."
"Um, hello? You have a pyrokinetic on the team? If he's worth his salt he can just put it out or whatever." Wade seriously wasn't doing this, no way. They had to just buck up and shut up and if they didn't like it well...
"What the hell were you even thinking?"
It wasn't like he'd gone overboard. Rubber chickens in all the lockers of the training center, tin foil around everything in the mess hall, Emma's office filled with rubber ducks, Sykes' office filled with blow up dolls, Vaseline on all the door handles to the buildings, both the elevators filled with packing peanuts, the massive orange bouncy balls filling up the halls and then, well, then the blue paint in the sprinkler system which was apparently Sykes' breaking point.
Wade was the only person untouched by the paint. Ophelia seemed to be the only person who hadn't tried to wash it off and was grinning like a loon sitting on a table between Rictor and Martini who just looked bored. Angel looked somewhat annoyed, Haylie had this stupid disappointed look on her face, but Wade knew he'd be able to get her to laugh about it with one comment, Victor looked ridiculous and honestly, that was the whole point of it.
"I don't know! I don't know why I did it, I don't know why I enjoyed it, and I don't know why I'll do it again!" He heard Emma bite back a snort, caught the smirk on her face and really, he just crossed his arms over his chest, "That is all you're getting out of me."
At the very least, he'd put off the foam bombs for a week. Tops.