great chunks of time online are missed with my busy life. but i dont miss it. strange. i just miss connecting with friends. and theres no way to really do that online ( Read more... )

distress is not a word, or a feeling
it's an entire state of being
it's the shadow that follows me around
i cannot hide from it
like God
it watches my footfalls

it judges them in earnest
and wispers in my ear
the truth

or things which could be
like a wisper
the shade of black
slinking by my eye
cat like
in the light

like maria? how do you catch a cloud and pin it down? how do you solve a problem like maria? how do you catch a moonbeam in your hand ( Read more... )

Babies, everywhere i go
Babies, every year, i grow
here we go again.

ultrasound on valintines day
current estimated arival date 09/15/2011

cross your fingers for a girl, to complete the set
because this is all i will ever get.

...

^_^ -_- :)..... :(...... :)....................................... ?

here i am,
and away i go!

i was suposed to be induced sunday evening but i called that off. many reasons, scary consequences. uterine ruptures, c-sections, long and extra painful labor... it seems that people in america are extremely big, and they have big babies, because of all this "food" we have access too. so they want babies pushed out before they get too big for ( Read more... )

there is a crusade going on in my home, to get ready for school, to get ready for baby, just to prepare ( Read more... )

(a side note, i am very glad to be seeing my friends around when Aiden comes, life has been very anxious lately and its dificult for me to do most things i could ( Read more... )

my mother is trying to plan my baby shower on july 17th. this time i will have to face my aunts and grandma and whoever else. i was just happy the first one was over, please dont do it to me again!!! im not ready to face them, im not ready to be called an adultris, i may as well start painting the big letter A on my forhead right now. ive never ( Read more... )

ive spent a lot of time during this vacation thinking about how different experiences touch eachother in different ways. in my life i feel deep satisfaction with what im doing. i am connected to a great force pulling me along and many times it seperates me from everyone i know ( Read more... )