"unwanted attention"
"...."
Probably due to my vocalness in expressing ideas and questions, I "seemed" to be noticed by managers....Probably having high expectations of me, and while it is supposed to be a good thing, I'm just not the cream of the crop..There are people who are better but just kept quiet. I can't really keep up though I try my best.
30% <= the nick I used to refer to my colleague whom I had a crush and she seems close to one of the other guys. Why is she here? Fate? Purpose? Instead of a torture as though "enacting the scene" I think is like to "help" me get over it. i.e: rehearsing me throught a milder version so I would not be hit that hard when I see the real one. You can say that I'm thankful that I found out that she's attached but probably not to the guy I mentioned. It's good because I feel more relaxed as friends but I still need a few days to adjust my emotions to treat her like normal. It is only natural of me to be quiet among females I dun know but I do not want to create an impression that I ignored her after I found out she's attached. Not easy for me to say hi as I am still adjusting and she is also the type who is only slightly more able to talk if it's with people she knows. Takes time.
Rep: a female colleague whom I deemed suspicious... after many actions I can't help but think that she's trying to get close to me. Consulted another female and male to hear their opinions.. Female friend says yes, male says probably. Usually I dun really mind, but sending me strange smses and facebook msgs regularly ain't really making it my day. I would just like to think that she just finds me more "approachable" ( fact is I'm not, I'm rather anal these days. ). For some reason she don't really mix with the rest of the peeps.. She's loud and laughs loudly as well, sometimes she's unaware of the situation and is very "gam chiong spider". I dunno what's the rush seriously..
When you ask her a question she retorts back like saying she's a junior dunno anything ( and she has more exp then me in this line ) or reply something and end with ( cannot is it ). I dunno...but I just dun like the tone, to me it's like looking for a squabble or a fight. There were times I got serious with her and my frds asked me to chill. Bad bad bad. There is a diff between when I'm angry and when I'm more serious. Probably it isn't easy to tell.
She doesn't seems a bad person, but the points I stated isn't doing her any good in terms of how I see her. I try to be tolerant, but these days I can't really make myself talk to her. Sometimes I find her pitiful, seems like nobody in the room mixes or talk to her ( I wonder why ). A M'sian coming here and even fellow M'sians also dun talk to her, I myself was an expat before so I can empathise abit, sometimes I question why am I that cruel, can I just close 2 eyes and bear with her? I dunno. One of my frds is already starting to get irritated
of her while the other is still cool with it.
With the emotional turmoil I am going through now, sometimes I wonder is it due to what I am going through that's why I am especially intolerant of her, thats so mean and unfair of me. God, someone needs to teach me how to handle this kind of case. I nd to get over 30%, I nd to try my best to be tolerant towards rep, I nd to live up to my managers' expectations. I'm not stressed, but it's kind of funny how I landed up in this kind of situations. I am vexed when I question my ability to handle all 3. My male friend mentioned that in some ways she's like me. It struck a bell in my head.
It made me make a comparison, while we are not replicas but indeed some traits we are the same. I can be loud sometimes, wierd smses yes I probably did that before. I do retort or I say something along the line like "I like it that way" however I only do that to people who know me well and I dun say it in a loud, challenging tone they are usually done with a cheeky smile or a funny face afterwards... Maybe, she thinks she can talk in whatever way she likes to me, but the thing is we are just colleagues..not even close, being a serious person I am, I tend to take word for word what a person says unless we are friends and I know your just fooling around. That's why my male friend says I'm too serious lol...
Fate, why is she here? Purpose? Maybe to make me reflect on the points I mentioned that we were similar.
I try to be kind, but I question myself why do I have to tolerate again? lol? I question my humility and compassion, have they deserted me after the incident? Humility was probably lost awhile ago when I start to criticise someone, compassion was degenerated in Mar09 and probably gone in Aug 09. I can't say my heart is white with abit of grey patch as it might used to be, it's a dark gray..like thick cement now. Let's hope that I do not become worse still.
I think morale of the story is just to stay low, talk softer and be more tolerant to her.
Probably due to my vocalness in expressing ideas and questions, I "seemed" to be noticed by managers....Probably having high expectations of me, and while it is supposed to be a good thing, I'm just not the cream of the crop..There are people who are better but just kept quiet. I can't really keep up though I try my best.
30% <= the nick I used to refer to my colleague whom I had a crush and she seems close to one of the other guys. Why is she here? Fate? Purpose? Instead of a torture as though "enacting the scene" I think is like to "help" me get over it. i.e: rehearsing me throught a milder version so I would not be hit that hard when I see the real one. You can say that I'm thankful that I found out that she's attached but probably not to the guy I mentioned. It's good because I feel more relaxed as friends but I still need a few days to adjust my emotions to treat her like normal. It is only natural of me to be quiet among females I dun know but I do not want to create an impression that I ignored her after I found out she's attached. Not easy for me to say hi as I am still adjusting and she is also the type who is only slightly more able to talk if it's with people she knows. Takes time.
Rep: a female colleague whom I deemed suspicious... after many actions I can't help but think that she's trying to get close to me. Consulted another female and male to hear their opinions.. Female friend says yes, male says probably. Usually I dun really mind, but sending me strange smses and facebook msgs regularly ain't really making it my day. I would just like to think that she just finds me more "approachable" ( fact is I'm not, I'm rather anal these days. ). For some reason she don't really mix with the rest of the peeps.. She's loud and laughs loudly as well, sometimes she's unaware of the situation and is very "gam chiong spider". I dunno what's the rush seriously..
When you ask her a question she retorts back like saying she's a junior dunno anything ( and she has more exp then me in this line ) or reply something and end with ( cannot is it ). I dunno...but I just dun like the tone, to me it's like looking for a squabble or a fight. There were times I got serious with her and my frds asked me to chill. Bad bad bad. There is a diff between when I'm angry and when I'm more serious. Probably it isn't easy to tell.
She doesn't seems a bad person, but the points I stated isn't doing her any good in terms of how I see her. I try to be tolerant, but these days I can't really make myself talk to her. Sometimes I find her pitiful, seems like nobody in the room mixes or talk to her ( I wonder why ). A M'sian coming here and even fellow M'sians also dun talk to her, I myself was an expat before so I can empathise abit, sometimes I question why am I that cruel, can I just close 2 eyes and bear with her? I dunno. One of my frds is already starting to get irritated
of her while the other is still cool with it.
With the emotional turmoil I am going through now, sometimes I wonder is it due to what I am going through that's why I am especially intolerant of her, thats so mean and unfair of me. God, someone needs to teach me how to handle this kind of case. I nd to get over 30%, I nd to try my best to be tolerant towards rep, I nd to live up to my managers' expectations. I'm not stressed, but it's kind of funny how I landed up in this kind of situations. I am vexed when I question my ability to handle all 3. My male friend mentioned that in some ways she's like me. It struck a bell in my head.
It made me make a comparison, while we are not replicas but indeed some traits we are the same. I can be loud sometimes, wierd smses yes I probably did that before. I do retort or I say something along the line like "I like it that way" however I only do that to people who know me well and I dun say it in a loud, challenging tone they are usually done with a cheeky smile or a funny face afterwards... Maybe, she thinks she can talk in whatever way she likes to me, but the thing is we are just colleagues..not even close, being a serious person I am, I tend to take word for word what a person says unless we are friends and I know your just fooling around. That's why my male friend says I'm too serious lol...
Fate, why is she here? Purpose? Maybe to make me reflect on the points I mentioned that we were similar.
I try to be kind, but I question myself why do I have to tolerate again? lol? I question my humility and compassion, have they deserted me after the incident? Humility was probably lost awhile ago when I start to criticise someone, compassion was degenerated in Mar09 and probably gone in Aug 09. I can't say my heart is white with abit of grey patch as it might used to be, it's a dark gray..like thick cement now. Let's hope that I do not become worse still.
I think morale of the story is just to stay low, talk softer and be more tolerant to her.