(no subject)
Alright. This is going to be a rant. Thus beneath an
---
The first week I came to PA, I was slightly homesick. I was in a new place, completely alone. I had just had a very interesting two months prior to coming here and I was just worried about what would happen to me for the next 6 weeks.
Before I came here, a friend of mine from an RPG I played asked me about hanging out because he would be in the area. I said sure because I love meeting new people and most of all, I just felt like I needed to see someone semi-familiar around here. I mean, I knew Jackie and Angie lives in H-burg... but I needed to see someone MALE because as always, I am perpetually surrounded by females.
Anyways, before we actually met, we started talking a lot on the phone. I loved having someone I could just talk to about anything for long periods of time. Before him, the only other person I could really do that with was with Travis. So you can understand how happy I was about just finding someone I could really just talk to.
Then we met and had some ice cream. Then we went to Wal-Mart and tooled around before going to see Superman Returns. Everything was fine and dandy. We were respecting each others' personal bubbles and then all of a sudden, his arm is around my shoulders. Then we're snuggling. Its cute and I'm like, "Well, I snuggle with friends. This is cool."
Later, after the movie, we got back to campus and hung out in his car in the parking lot. There was apparently a fire drill going on at the dorm and even though it was my night off, I decided I should probably go help. But I didn't really feel like it. I was definitely torn between my "sense of duty" and my general laziness. When I asked my friend what I should do, he kissed me.
That started a whole crazy three week crazy affair that has now ended with my broken heart.
In summation:
I just wish he had never asked me to be his girlfriend because then I wouldn't've had to hear him take it back. On top of that, I wish I had "known better." I have awful luck with guys. He is not the first to lead me on and I'm assuming not the last.
Mostly, I just wish I hadn't fallen so hard for him. Because now all I want to do is be close to him and it feels like there's this invisible fence keeping me on my side and him on his.
This is just me letting it all out. He's not a bad person. He's not a jerk or an asshole. Things just didn't work out.
At least now I'm free to roam VA for hot frat boys. Always look on the bright side of life. Dodododododo...
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
We could have been (We could have been again)
Instead of accidental running always running (why can’t you believe)
We could have been (We could have been again)
Long winded promises of future company
Up close the sound remains the same
Without the reign of terror over every momentary change
We are exactly as before
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the time I had to forget you
Inside no chance of us at all
---
The first week I came to PA, I was slightly homesick. I was in a new place, completely alone. I had just had a very interesting two months prior to coming here and I was just worried about what would happen to me for the next 6 weeks.
Before I came here, a friend of mine from an RPG I played asked me about hanging out because he would be in the area. I said sure because I love meeting new people and most of all, I just felt like I needed to see someone semi-familiar around here. I mean, I knew Jackie and Angie lives in H-burg... but I needed to see someone MALE because as always, I am perpetually surrounded by females.
Anyways, before we actually met, we started talking a lot on the phone. I loved having someone I could just talk to about anything for long periods of time. Before him, the only other person I could really do that with was with Travis. So you can understand how happy I was about just finding someone I could really just talk to.
Then we met and had some ice cream. Then we went to Wal-Mart and tooled around before going to see Superman Returns. Everything was fine and dandy. We were respecting each others' personal bubbles and then all of a sudden, his arm is around my shoulders. Then we're snuggling. Its cute and I'm like, "Well, I snuggle with friends. This is cool."
Later, after the movie, we got back to campus and hung out in his car in the parking lot. There was apparently a fire drill going on at the dorm and even though it was my night off, I decided I should probably go help. But I didn't really feel like it. I was definitely torn between my "sense of duty" and my general laziness. When I asked my friend what I should do, he kissed me.
That started a whole crazy three week crazy affair that has now ended with my broken heart.
In summation:
I just wish he had never asked me to be his girlfriend because then I wouldn't've had to hear him take it back. On top of that, I wish I had "known better." I have awful luck with guys. He is not the first to lead me on and I'm assuming not the last.
Mostly, I just wish I hadn't fallen so hard for him. Because now all I want to do is be close to him and it feels like there's this invisible fence keeping me on my side and him on his.
This is just me letting it all out. He's not a bad person. He's not a jerk or an asshole. Things just didn't work out.
At least now I'm free to roam VA for hot frat boys. Always look on the bright side of life. Dodododododo...
You said we were an accident
With accidents you’ll never know what could have been
So we were an accident
You’ll always be my favorite one
We could have been (We could have been again)
Instead of accidental running always running (why can’t you believe)
We could have been (We could have been again)
Long winded promises of future company
Up close the sound remains the same
Without the reign of terror over every momentary change
We are exactly as before
You hit the road and left me an ocean
I can't swim in the silence of your skin-skin please let me in
Side the time I had to forget you
Inside no chance of us at all