If I Kissed You, Would You Be Mad?
Title: If I Kissed You, Would You Be Mad?
Author: ich_heisse_kai
Pairing: Hanry
Rating: pg-13
Length: chaptered (6 of about 25)
Warning: boyxboy love, kissing, incest
Overall Summary: Henry is an average high school student with one problem: he is in love with a boy, and not just any boy at that. He is madly in love with the boy who is to become his brother.
Disclaimer: Oh, it turns out i do own characters!!!! Kuan and Yon. everyone else, though, belongs to themselves :)
A/N: so...i hope this is alright....hehe. its kind of long...about 4,000 words. ^^;; please, enjoy!!hehe
Finally, Yon thought of something to say: “Mianhae.”
Kuan looked up, tears still falling from her eyes, suddenly not as cold as before. Her cheeks were flushed, and her black eyes narrowed. “You’re….sorry?” Yon nodded, slowly, almost unsurely, and Kuan wanted to rip that head off those shoulders. “How the hell can you say that to me?!”
“What do you want me to say?” Yon retaliated, her anger showing finally. The dam was breaking. “What do you want me to do, Kuan?! I’m not some sort of miracle worker!! I can’t foresee the future and I sure as hell can’t reverse time!” Yon shouted, flailing her arms around to express her point. “what do you want from me?!”
Kuan, very unaffected by Yon’s shouting and screaming, looked the other girl dead in the eyes, her cold black orbs back, making Yon stop every movement. “I want you to be responsible.”
Yon laughed incredulously, “what? I’m not responsible for whoever raping Henli!”
“No,” Kuan agreed, folding her arms across her chest. “But you were, in fact, the one who took Henli to that horrible place, as I have said before. You must see how Henli is, he trusts too easily, he can’t defend himself if he has to. That’s why Hankyung walks with him home every day. Henli sees no malice in anyone, even if they are controlled by evil thoughts, he doesn't think that anyone would do harm to another,” Kuan reasoned, trying to make Yon see this situation as she does. “You took him to that club, and thus led him straight to that man who took advantage of him! You need to be aware of the outcomes your actions cause, and realize that your decisions effect those around you, not just you.” And, with that, Kuan turned on her heel and left.
After a day in the hospital, I was deemed well enough to return home. Mom and Uncle were very happy about this (Uncle, if I haven’t mentioned this before, was very angry at…what happened and searched to no avail for my attacker) and Hankyung was almost glowing. He was bouncing with energy, like a child at Christmas.
Kuan and Hankyung’s friends, my friends, have all come to see me. It was a lot of fun, we played a lot of games and talked a lot. I got to know a few of Hankyung’s friends really well.
Sungmin was my last guest before the doctor kicked him out. It was really easy to talk with him, he’s very open and understanding, not to mention he could hold a conversation well. No one asked about anything I didn’t want to talk about, but Sungmin made very obvious diversions from unwanted subjects; obvious but thoughtful.
Just before he left, he said, “Henli, uhm….can I confess something to you?” he was turning pink, and I thought it was a cute contrast with his black-as-night hair. His skin was pale to begin with, just as pale as my own, and the color looked handsome. He was flustered, it was obvious, so I did my best not to point it out.
“Sure, what is it, Sungmin-hyung?” I asked, trying to ignore how cute he was. No need to make Hankyung jealous, right? I don’t want to find out my boyfriend chased down a friend like an animal just because I thought he was cute and thoughtful. That would not be good, not at all.
Sungmin fidgeted and shuffled his feet nervously. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down. His cheeks were pinker than ever, though. It was easy to see and slightly endearing. “Uhm… I… uhm, well… first…i-is Kuan Ye seeing anyone?”
I blinked. “Of course,” I said, not knowing why Sungmin stiffened when I said it. “She’s not blind.” Sungmin jerked, almost falling to the floor. He caught himself on the edge of my bed, hanging on tight and panting, hand clutching his chest, where his heart would be. It startled me, the sudden movement from him, and the fact he was clutching his chest. That can’t be good, right? My Grandma said that’s what happened to Grandpa just before he had a heart attack. Was Sungmin-hyung having a heart attack? “A-are you ok, hyung?? Should I call the doctor??”
Sungmin shook his head furiously, black hair flying everywhere. “N-no!! I’m fine, Henli-ah,” he assured me, releasing his shirt that he clutched and continuing what he was saying before. “But that wasn’t what I was asking.”
I blinked again. “It wasn’t?”
Sungmin shook his head. “No,” he answered and straightened himself up a bit, adjusting his black vest and white shirt under it. “I was asking if….she had a…boyfriend.”
“A boy friend?” I repeated, thinking back to all the times I’ve been with Kuan, all the things we talk about. Most recently, a lot of our conversations revolve around mine and Hankyung’s situation, but never had I seen Kuan with anyone when she wasn’t with me, nor have we talked about anything like that. “I don’t think so. Why?” it was silent for a moment, Sungmin blushing furiously and I grinned. “You like her,” I accused, pointing my finger at him.
Sungmin turned even redder, if it was possible. He resembled a cherry before, and I cant think of anything redder than a cherry. “Shuttup!” he shouted, embarrassed. “You are a mean kid, Henli Lau!” he accused right back.
“Me?” I asked, “I’m mean? Yah, I just figured out you liked her!”
“You blurted it out!” he said, “What if someone heard?”
“You’re being nuts! No one’s here besides you and me, hyung!”
It was silent. Sungmin knew I had won. He pouted and said, “wait until I tell Hankyung-hyung.”
I grinned. “he loves me! Anyway, why don’t you tell Kuan this afternoon, at the party? She’ll be there, you know.”
Sungmin nodded. “I know she’ll be there, but I don’t want to look like an idiot. Like, what if she likes someone else? Or hates me or something?”
“I think you’re making excuses, hyung. You should tell her,” I urged. Sungmin looked so lost, like I knew he wanted to tell her, but he also didn’t want to for fear of rejection. But Kuan wouldn’t do anything drastic. “Although she looks really cold, she’s really sweet and understanding. I’m sure she’d love a guy like you, hyung!”
Sungmin thought about it, still shifting nervously on his feet and tapping his toe of his shoe on the floor. “Who initiated it?” he asked suddenly, and it caught me off guard. But, before I could ask, Sungmin continued, “between you and Hankyung-hyung?”
Oh, I understood now, I just had to think back a little. Lets see… I officially met Hankyung when he came over to mine and my mom’s house for dinner the year before I entered high school, when mom announced he was to be my brother. I unofficially met him when he became my tutor 6 months before that. He asked me out two days after Uncle told him I passed the entry exams to his prestigious high school. So… “Hankyung did.”
“how?” Sungmin asked. “what did he say?”
“He was really straightforward with me, he told me that he had had a crush on me since tutoring, and since my mom introduced us, he thinks he had fallen in love.”
“And what did you do?”
I laughed, remembering exactly what I did when Hankyung told me that. It ticked him off slightly, but… “I walked passed him, into my room and fell into my bed.”
Sungmin blinked. “Really? Why? He didn’t beat the tar out of you?”
“I thought I was dreaming, because I kinda sorta liked him too, but I was never going to actually tell him. He made me though,” I laughed again, remembering Hankyung stalking me around the house until I told him I liked him as well. He just grinned and said, ‘I knew it’ and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before walking into the kitchen and talking with mom about something. “In a respect, Kuan is like me. She would never tell the one she liked she liked him. She thinks it would be a bother to have a girl hanging off their arms all the time, so she refrains from even hinting she liked someone. So you’d better tell her before someone else does.”
After that, the doctor came in and kicked out Sungmin. He said ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you later’ before leaving. The doctor was brief and not too technical. He said I healed fast and well and that my brother was here to get me. I couldn’t help but to grin as the older man ushered in my brother.
Hankyung was grinning as well, and looking very handsome. He wore baggy black pants and a tight black wife beater, sneakers, and a necklace chain. In his arms he carried a change of clothes, presumably for me. The doctor relayed everything he told me to my brother before leaving.
When the doctor left, Hankyung’s attention shifted to me. “Hey, bro,” Hankyung sang, pecking my lips. He sat on the edge of my bed, the spot had unofficially became his since I have been here and he shoved the clothes into my arms. “Auntie told me to bring these for you. I’ll leave while you change,” he said, walking to the door, and at the last minute, he turned around and said, “unless you want me to stay?”
I laughed. “Get out,” I told him. He joined in on my laughter. “you pervert.”
“Love you, bro!” he chanted, just before leaving. I rolled my eyes and got up to change out of the pajamas mom had me change into yesterday. She, or Hankyung, I wasn’t too sure which, gave me slightly tight jeans (I loved these jeans. They were comfy!) and a American Eagle t-shirt. Hankyung had remembered my sneakers and socks, but as I leaned over myself to tie them, a slight but sharp pain ran through my spine, making me recall the reason I was here in the first place. But before I could dwell on it, there was a knock on my door.
“Ready, baby?” Hankyung asked, opening the door a little.
“Yeah, hold on.” I quickly tied the strings before rushing over to him. Hankyung smiled down at me, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my forehead and I smiled. I loved this man too much. I loved him way too much. I sighed and imagined what my mother would think if I ever told her about us. I didn’t like it. It would break her; I would never see her smile again.
Hankyung pressed his lips against my cheek, before whispering in my ear, “what are you thinking about, baby?”
I shook my head, telling him it was nothing. He smiled at me, and I wondered if that smile could ever disappear too. I wondered how he would react, if everyone knew about us-mom and uncle especially. His friends and Kuan already know, but like Kuan had told me before, they understand and support us, they’re our friends. I’m afraid it wont be the same with mom.
Hankyung frowned, but said nothing more as he lead me out to his car, his hand resting almost too low on my back, maybe hinting at us being something a little bit more than brothers. I didn’t mind though, and even tried snuggling closer to him. He smiled down at me and pulled me closer. “don’t worry,” he said, low enough so only I could hear. “No one recognizes us here. We’re okay.”
We’re okay
The party was long, but a very welcome distraction from depressing thoughts. Kuan was there, and spent most of the time at my side. She didn’t know the others too well and my mother loves her, but the guys she only saw from when she picked me up after lunch.
I saw Sungmin in the crowd, and he looked determined to tell her, but scared to begin. I smiled and decided to let him be, for now. I’ll get Hankyung help me with them. Then, I began wondering who else Sungmin has told of his feelings.
“Henli,” Kuan said, “You better not be daydreaming. Me and your mother worked hard setting this whole thing up so you had better like it!” she threatened, raising her fist.
I laughed and held up my hands, wondering if that was a fake threat or not, because I can never tell with her, and said, “I love it! I’m not daydreaming!”
Kuan frowned and lowered her hand. “you better.”
I blinked and looked closer at her face. Her lower lip was stuck out just slightly and her eyes were cast towards the ground. I’ve never really noticed her wearing make-up before, but she was now. Just a little eye stuff and lip gloss, which defined the slight pout her lip made. “Are you pouting?”
“No!!” Kuan shouted. I laughed and declared that she was, indeed, pouting. “Shut up!!! I hate you, Henli Lau!!!!”
“Well,” someone else said behind me, skinny arms coming to wrap around my middle and a bony chin resting on my shoulder. “I love Henli Lau.” It was my cousin, Julia. She’s…sometimes annoying. But what family members aren’t?? Hankyung. Where was he, anyways?
“Who’re you?” Kuan asked, cold exterior exposed and icing up Julia’s obnoxious personality. My mind became too occupied in finding my boyfriend in the mass of this crowd. I found him after a little while, talking with my mom in the kitchen. Apparently the topic was a good one, because they were both laughing and smiling. I felt my heart swell as I watched them from where I was. It was strange, seeing him talk with my mom like that… I sighed and realized the fragileness of that situation.
Onto Part 2!!
Author: ich_heisse_kai
Pairing: Hanry
Rating: pg-13
Length: chaptered (6 of about 25)
Warning: boyxboy love, kissing, incest
Overall Summary: Henry is an average high school student with one problem: he is in love with a boy, and not just any boy at that. He is madly in love with the boy who is to become his brother.
Disclaimer: Oh, it turns out i do own characters!!!! Kuan and Yon. everyone else, though, belongs to themselves :)
A/N: so...i hope this is alright....hehe. its kind of long...about 4,000 words. ^^;; please, enjoy!!hehe
Finally, Yon thought of something to say: “Mianhae.”
Kuan looked up, tears still falling from her eyes, suddenly not as cold as before. Her cheeks were flushed, and her black eyes narrowed. “You’re….sorry?” Yon nodded, slowly, almost unsurely, and Kuan wanted to rip that head off those shoulders. “How the hell can you say that to me?!”
“What do you want me to say?” Yon retaliated, her anger showing finally. The dam was breaking. “What do you want me to do, Kuan?! I’m not some sort of miracle worker!! I can’t foresee the future and I sure as hell can’t reverse time!” Yon shouted, flailing her arms around to express her point. “what do you want from me?!”
Kuan, very unaffected by Yon’s shouting and screaming, looked the other girl dead in the eyes, her cold black orbs back, making Yon stop every movement. “I want you to be responsible.”
Yon laughed incredulously, “what? I’m not responsible for whoever raping Henli!”
“No,” Kuan agreed, folding her arms across her chest. “But you were, in fact, the one who took Henli to that horrible place, as I have said before. You must see how Henli is, he trusts too easily, he can’t defend himself if he has to. That’s why Hankyung walks with him home every day. Henli sees no malice in anyone, even if they are controlled by evil thoughts, he doesn't think that anyone would do harm to another,” Kuan reasoned, trying to make Yon see this situation as she does. “You took him to that club, and thus led him straight to that man who took advantage of him! You need to be aware of the outcomes your actions cause, and realize that your decisions effect those around you, not just you.” And, with that, Kuan turned on her heel and left.
After a day in the hospital, I was deemed well enough to return home. Mom and Uncle were very happy about this (Uncle, if I haven’t mentioned this before, was very angry at…what happened and searched to no avail for my attacker) and Hankyung was almost glowing. He was bouncing with energy, like a child at Christmas.
Kuan and Hankyung’s friends, my friends, have all come to see me. It was a lot of fun, we played a lot of games and talked a lot. I got to know a few of Hankyung’s friends really well.
Sungmin was my last guest before the doctor kicked him out. It was really easy to talk with him, he’s very open and understanding, not to mention he could hold a conversation well. No one asked about anything I didn’t want to talk about, but Sungmin made very obvious diversions from unwanted subjects; obvious but thoughtful.
Just before he left, he said, “Henli, uhm….can I confess something to you?” he was turning pink, and I thought it was a cute contrast with his black-as-night hair. His skin was pale to begin with, just as pale as my own, and the color looked handsome. He was flustered, it was obvious, so I did my best not to point it out.
“Sure, what is it, Sungmin-hyung?” I asked, trying to ignore how cute he was. No need to make Hankyung jealous, right? I don’t want to find out my boyfriend chased down a friend like an animal just because I thought he was cute and thoughtful. That would not be good, not at all.
Sungmin fidgeted and shuffled his feet nervously. His hands were shoved in his pockets and his head was down. His cheeks were pinker than ever, though. It was easy to see and slightly endearing. “Uhm… I… uhm, well… first…i-is Kuan Ye seeing anyone?”
I blinked. “Of course,” I said, not knowing why Sungmin stiffened when I said it. “She’s not blind.” Sungmin jerked, almost falling to the floor. He caught himself on the edge of my bed, hanging on tight and panting, hand clutching his chest, where his heart would be. It startled me, the sudden movement from him, and the fact he was clutching his chest. That can’t be good, right? My Grandma said that’s what happened to Grandpa just before he had a heart attack. Was Sungmin-hyung having a heart attack? “A-are you ok, hyung?? Should I call the doctor??”
Sungmin shook his head furiously, black hair flying everywhere. “N-no!! I’m fine, Henli-ah,” he assured me, releasing his shirt that he clutched and continuing what he was saying before. “But that wasn’t what I was asking.”
I blinked again. “It wasn’t?”
Sungmin shook his head. “No,” he answered and straightened himself up a bit, adjusting his black vest and white shirt under it. “I was asking if….she had a…boyfriend.”
“A boy friend?” I repeated, thinking back to all the times I’ve been with Kuan, all the things we talk about. Most recently, a lot of our conversations revolve around mine and Hankyung’s situation, but never had I seen Kuan with anyone when she wasn’t with me, nor have we talked about anything like that. “I don’t think so. Why?” it was silent for a moment, Sungmin blushing furiously and I grinned. “You like her,” I accused, pointing my finger at him.
Sungmin turned even redder, if it was possible. He resembled a cherry before, and I cant think of anything redder than a cherry. “Shuttup!” he shouted, embarrassed. “You are a mean kid, Henli Lau!” he accused right back.
“Me?” I asked, “I’m mean? Yah, I just figured out you liked her!”
“You blurted it out!” he said, “What if someone heard?”
“You’re being nuts! No one’s here besides you and me, hyung!”
It was silent. Sungmin knew I had won. He pouted and said, “wait until I tell Hankyung-hyung.”
I grinned. “he loves me! Anyway, why don’t you tell Kuan this afternoon, at the party? She’ll be there, you know.”
Sungmin nodded. “I know she’ll be there, but I don’t want to look like an idiot. Like, what if she likes someone else? Or hates me or something?”
“I think you’re making excuses, hyung. You should tell her,” I urged. Sungmin looked so lost, like I knew he wanted to tell her, but he also didn’t want to for fear of rejection. But Kuan wouldn’t do anything drastic. “Although she looks really cold, she’s really sweet and understanding. I’m sure she’d love a guy like you, hyung!”
Sungmin thought about it, still shifting nervously on his feet and tapping his toe of his shoe on the floor. “Who initiated it?” he asked suddenly, and it caught me off guard. But, before I could ask, Sungmin continued, “between you and Hankyung-hyung?”
Oh, I understood now, I just had to think back a little. Lets see… I officially met Hankyung when he came over to mine and my mom’s house for dinner the year before I entered high school, when mom announced he was to be my brother. I unofficially met him when he became my tutor 6 months before that. He asked me out two days after Uncle told him I passed the entry exams to his prestigious high school. So… “Hankyung did.”
“how?” Sungmin asked. “what did he say?”
“He was really straightforward with me, he told me that he had had a crush on me since tutoring, and since my mom introduced us, he thinks he had fallen in love.”
“And what did you do?”
I laughed, remembering exactly what I did when Hankyung told me that. It ticked him off slightly, but… “I walked passed him, into my room and fell into my bed.”
Sungmin blinked. “Really? Why? He didn’t beat the tar out of you?”
“I thought I was dreaming, because I kinda sorta liked him too, but I was never going to actually tell him. He made me though,” I laughed again, remembering Hankyung stalking me around the house until I told him I liked him as well. He just grinned and said, ‘I knew it’ and pressed a soft kiss to my lips before walking into the kitchen and talking with mom about something. “In a respect, Kuan is like me. She would never tell the one she liked she liked him. She thinks it would be a bother to have a girl hanging off their arms all the time, so she refrains from even hinting she liked someone. So you’d better tell her before someone else does.”
After that, the doctor came in and kicked out Sungmin. He said ‘goodbye’ and ‘see you later’ before leaving. The doctor was brief and not too technical. He said I healed fast and well and that my brother was here to get me. I couldn’t help but to grin as the older man ushered in my brother.
Hankyung was grinning as well, and looking very handsome. He wore baggy black pants and a tight black wife beater, sneakers, and a necklace chain. In his arms he carried a change of clothes, presumably for me. The doctor relayed everything he told me to my brother before leaving.
When the doctor left, Hankyung’s attention shifted to me. “Hey, bro,” Hankyung sang, pecking my lips. He sat on the edge of my bed, the spot had unofficially became his since I have been here and he shoved the clothes into my arms. “Auntie told me to bring these for you. I’ll leave while you change,” he said, walking to the door, and at the last minute, he turned around and said, “unless you want me to stay?”
I laughed. “Get out,” I told him. He joined in on my laughter. “you pervert.”
“Love you, bro!” he chanted, just before leaving. I rolled my eyes and got up to change out of the pajamas mom had me change into yesterday. She, or Hankyung, I wasn’t too sure which, gave me slightly tight jeans (I loved these jeans. They were comfy!) and a American Eagle t-shirt. Hankyung had remembered my sneakers and socks, but as I leaned over myself to tie them, a slight but sharp pain ran through my spine, making me recall the reason I was here in the first place. But before I could dwell on it, there was a knock on my door.
“Ready, baby?” Hankyung asked, opening the door a little.
“Yeah, hold on.” I quickly tied the strings before rushing over to him. Hankyung smiled down at me, wrapping his arms around me. He kissed my forehead and I smiled. I loved this man too much. I loved him way too much. I sighed and imagined what my mother would think if I ever told her about us. I didn’t like it. It would break her; I would never see her smile again.
Hankyung pressed his lips against my cheek, before whispering in my ear, “what are you thinking about, baby?”
I shook my head, telling him it was nothing. He smiled at me, and I wondered if that smile could ever disappear too. I wondered how he would react, if everyone knew about us-mom and uncle especially. His friends and Kuan already know, but like Kuan had told me before, they understand and support us, they’re our friends. I’m afraid it wont be the same with mom.
Hankyung frowned, but said nothing more as he lead me out to his car, his hand resting almost too low on my back, maybe hinting at us being something a little bit more than brothers. I didn’t mind though, and even tried snuggling closer to him. He smiled down at me and pulled me closer. “don’t worry,” he said, low enough so only I could hear. “No one recognizes us here. We’re okay.”
We’re okay
The party was long, but a very welcome distraction from depressing thoughts. Kuan was there, and spent most of the time at my side. She didn’t know the others too well and my mother loves her, but the guys she only saw from when she picked me up after lunch.
I saw Sungmin in the crowd, and he looked determined to tell her, but scared to begin. I smiled and decided to let him be, for now. I’ll get Hankyung help me with them. Then, I began wondering who else Sungmin has told of his feelings.
“Henli,” Kuan said, “You better not be daydreaming. Me and your mother worked hard setting this whole thing up so you had better like it!” she threatened, raising her fist.
I laughed and held up my hands, wondering if that was a fake threat or not, because I can never tell with her, and said, “I love it! I’m not daydreaming!”
Kuan frowned and lowered her hand. “you better.”
I blinked and looked closer at her face. Her lower lip was stuck out just slightly and her eyes were cast towards the ground. I’ve never really noticed her wearing make-up before, but she was now. Just a little eye stuff and lip gloss, which defined the slight pout her lip made. “Are you pouting?”
“No!!” Kuan shouted. I laughed and declared that she was, indeed, pouting. “Shut up!!! I hate you, Henli Lau!!!!”
“Well,” someone else said behind me, skinny arms coming to wrap around my middle and a bony chin resting on my shoulder. “I love Henli Lau.” It was my cousin, Julia. She’s…sometimes annoying. But what family members aren’t?? Hankyung. Where was he, anyways?
“Who’re you?” Kuan asked, cold exterior exposed and icing up Julia’s obnoxious personality. My mind became too occupied in finding my boyfriend in the mass of this crowd. I found him after a little while, talking with my mom in the kitchen. Apparently the topic was a good one, because they were both laughing and smiling. I felt my heart swell as I watched them from where I was. It was strange, seeing him talk with my mom like that… I sighed and realized the fragileness of that situation.
Onto Part 2!!