[Fanfic] Could I Love You chapter 7
Title: Could I Love You (chapter 7)
Author: ichijo_rui
Pairing: Heeshik, Heewan
Summary: Heechul falls into deep sleep
A/N: Actually I was going to write it and post it before I went internship but didn't have opportunity to do that. So I post it now, sorry it's short. I'm proceeding to chapter 8. ^__^
Chapter 7:
“엄마, 시완형의 천화 번호가 있읍니까? (Mom, do you have Siwan hyung’s phone number?)”
“있어요. 왜그래요? 아, Sydney는 어때요?재미 있나요?^^ (I have it. What's wrong? Ah, how's Sydney? Is it fun?)”
“네, 재미…”
Hyungshik pauses to text his mom for a moment and looks at the man who sleeps beside him.
Is it fun? He asks himself. What does he feel in their honeymoon? It’s fun, tiring, troublesome and full of emotion that he just wants to go home. Honestly he really wishes he can say that it’s fun and tells his mom about him and Heechul. But what can he tell her now? That his husband hasn’t waked up since yesterday? That he checked every hour that Heechul still breathing and scared to wake him up?
He can’t tell her of course.
“네, 재미있어요. Mom can you send me Siwan hyung’s phone number now? Thanks and I love you~”
Hyungshik gently put his phone on the table. Heechul hasn’t waked up, it’s been more than 12 hours since he slept and sleep talked. How long it takes to regain his energy actually?
“Heechul-ah~” Hyungshik whispers on Heechul’s ear. “Ireonnabwa… wake up.”
Hyungshik waits for a second…5 seconds… a minute. 5 minutes. Still, there is no response from Heechul. He sleeps like dead.
“Heechul-ah, what’s wrong with you?!” Hyungshik cries out in silence, nearly frustration from staying on guard for 14 hours. The sun already set without he even knows, and his stomach growls because he hasn’t eaten anything except breakfast in Kevin’s house.
“Are you always like this, Heechul-ah?” Hyungshik asks in despair, the latter won’t open his eyes. He looks like a princess, his small face and pale skin makes him looks like sleeping beauty-eternally fall asleep in a beautiful way. The only one difference is his face looks very weary and fidgety, like he has experienced all sadness in the world within one night. The last time he saw an expression like this was when his mother told him that his father has just passed away. That time, he knew that his mother’s world slowly fell down; and she used to look so…, Hyungshik didn’t know how to describe it, maybe… soulless?
Beep! Beep!
His phone blinks a few times, signaling that there’s a new message to be read. Hyungshik grabs his phone; his mother sent Siwan hyung’s number already. Great, maybe Siwan hyung knows about Heechul’s other persona. Hyungshik thinks. Quickly he dials the number; his finger shaking due to nervousness-how should he tell Siwan about it? Really, he’s actually scared to tell anybody about it. But what if Heechul will never open his eyes again? Just to think about it makes him scared even more.
“Yoboseyo??” Siwan picks up the call. “Who is this?”
“Siwan hyung-ah,” Hyungshik hoarsely calls; he tries not to sound so desperate but fails. At least he’s trying to not cry. “it’s me, Hyungshik.”
“Ahh, Shikkie-ah. How’s your honey moon?? Is it fun?” Siwan warmly asks.
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Where’s Heechul? He treats you nice, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is.” Hyungshik says. “Currently, he is sleeping beside me…”
“Oh…”
“….for 14 hours already.” Hyungshik laughs painfully. “Hyung, is he always like this?”
“What do you mean?” Siwan asks confusedly.
“Siwan hyung, Heechul hurts himself yesterday and after that he fell asleep and not yet awaken until now.” Hyungshik says, his free hand rubs his eyes that are wet from tears. No, he won’t cry, he promised to himself. That will make Siwan hyung become confuse and it won’t solve anything.
“Are you two fighting?”
“No, yes, ah, ottokee…” Hyungshik bites his below lips. “We did have some misunderstandings, and yesterday he mentioned about his other personality emerged and he sleeptalked; he mentioned your name, Kwanghee hyung and other. I don’t know what to do…” Hyungshik desperately admits; his tone clearly asking for help.
“….Shikkie-ah,” Siwan lets out a sigh. “Why don’t you try to kiss him? Maybe it breaks the curse.”
“Hyung-ah, I’m not kidding…”
“No, seriously, give it a try. Or do something else to distract him from deep sleep. Call his name, tell him to wake up.” Siwan says. “I thought he lost that disorder already, because the last time I saw him like that was 6 years ago.”
“Hyung… I’m scared.”
“Shikkie, help him. I know you’re the right person to help him to ease the pain.” Siwan ensures him. “I can’t help a lot, mianhae Shikkie.”
Hyungshik holds Heechul’s palm and squeezes it gently; he lets out a sigh and replies, “gwaenchana. Thanks for your advice. I will figure out how to wake him up.”
“I’m sorry Shikkie…” Siwan murmurs.
“Ne, gwaenchana. I’ll hang up now. Bye…” Hyungshik ends the call and turns to Heechul. He is still sleeping, no sign that he’s disturbed by Hyungshik’s presence at all.
“Heechul-ah, wake up…” Hyungshik gently whisper on his ear. “Wake up, Heechul. It’s time for you to end your sleep and face the reality…”
Hyungshik brings his face closer to Heechul’s and gently kiss that pale red lips of him. “I’m not going anywhere, I will stay on your side no matter what. That’s why, you don’t have to be afraid. Ireonna, Heechul-ah, don’t let your other side wins.”
Hyungshik almost give up when he sees there’s no reaction of Heechul, but just when he’s about to give up, he hears a dim murmur from beside him.
“…Shikkie…” A weak whisper comes from Heechul’s small lips. Hyungshik bugs his eyes; his heart pounding hard.
“Heechul? Are you awaken?” Hyungshik asks hesitantly. He checks Heechul’s eyes, they’re still closed.
“I-I’m tired.” Heechul hoarsely says; slowly he opens his eyes. A vision of worried Hyungshik appear in front of him.
“Of course you will feel tired. You slept for more than 14 hours already.” Hyungshik says, his lips form a relieved smile.
“I slept that long?” Heechul asks, his eyes gaze at the ceiling; being pondered in thought for a couple minutes and let silence fills in the air.
“I thought you won’t be awaken anymore,” Hyungshik timidly says. “I was so worried, desperate, and helpless to see you like that.”
“Mianhae.” Heechul says. He closes his eyes and swallows his saliva bitterly. “I’ve been thinking while I was sleeping. So much to think, till IIt’s been awhile since the last time he appeared…”
Hyungshik pay attention to his dearest husband, it seems he has a lot of things in his mind to tell.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Heechul asks.
Hyungshik shakes his head. “No. All you did was sleeping like a dead man.”
“Thank God…” Heechul lets out a relieved sigh.
“Shikkie-ah, why don’t you sit beside me and relax?” Heechul suggests and smiles weakly. “I’m sorry I made you worried.”
Hyungshik shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize, but promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t you dare to escape the reality ever again.”
The older man chuckles, “I can’t promise. But I’ll try.”
“You better be.” Hyungshik says. He lies himself next to Heechulie, gently rub his wounded hand.
“Shikkie-ah,” Heechul murmurs, his voice almost inaudible that Hyungshik has to listen carefully.
“Yes, darling?”
“Tell about yourself…” Heechul requests. “I’ve been thinking, and I realized that I know nothing about you.”
“What do you want me to tell you?” Hyungshik asks. His heart beats faster, somewhat nervous because it’s the first time a person ask him to explain about himself. But somewhat he feels happy too, because Heechul wants to know more about him.
“Anything.” Heechul says. “Just do it like you’re telling a bedtime story. I will listen to it.”
“Okay..” Hyungshik gulps. He takes a deep breath before he starts his story.
“Well, as you may know already. My name is Park Hyungshik. I’m the only kid in the family, so I grew up showered by my parents’ love. A few years ago, when I was just got into high school, my dad passed away…”
“Why did he pass away?” Heechul asks.
“Plane crash.” Hyungshik murmurs. “I never saw his corpse, mom forbade me to do. After that, I live alone with my mother. She always works really hard for me, but because of it I often got left alone in home.”
Hyungshik takes a deep breath and continue. “Kevin came into my life. He’s my private tutor when I was in high school. Short story, he taught me everything like my dad. He gave me the affection I needed. But then we broke up. That was already in the past, you don’t have to worry. We remain as friend only.” Hyungshik quickly adds, afraid he might hurt Heechul again.
“Gwaenchana, I won’t be angry again.” Heechul mutters. “Go on, continue your story.”
“Ng…what else you want to know?”
“Your school.”
“Ah, right. I’m currently studying at Seoul University, majoring in management. I joined my campus’ art club because I love to sing. What else you want to know?”
“Everything.” Heechul closes his eyes. “Tell me everything about you, until you don’t have anything else to talk.”
Maybe, just maybe, if he knows Hyungshik well, he will fall deeply for Hyungshik. Maybe he will be able to forget his obsession, something that he always tries to deny and ignore. But he-his other personality-he was right. He’s being chained by his own feeling, and he had thinking about it in his deep sleep. Maybe, it’s the time he really needs to learn to let go and start a new chapter. And maybe, Hyungshik is the right person to help him overcome it?
***
“Siwannie, where are you going?” Kwanghee asks Siwan who quickly run upstair after he ends the phone call.
“I’m going to clean our house.” Siwan says. His face seems wrought-up, and instead of taking vacuum cleaner or else, Siwan takes a key.
“What is that for?” Kwanghee approaches Siwan. “Isn’t that Heechul’s keyroom? I thought he forbids us to come inside.”
“Kwanghee-yah, promise me you won’t tell anybody about it. And please, can you help me to buy groceries now? We run out of milk and egg.”
Kwanghee gazes deep into Siwan’s eyes and sighs. He knows that Siwan gives him signal to stay away from his business. Siwan keeps a lot of secret, same like his cousin. Kwanghee respect that, he knows that those brothers are complicated people.
“Fine, I will buy it.” Kwanghee pinches Siwan’s cheek and goes, leaving Siwan alone in the house.
Slowly Siwan inserts the key that he never used for years into Heechul’s door. A click heard from the door, and he opens the door doubtfully.
“I’m sorry Heechul, I just need to make sure…” Siwan murmurs.
The door banged open; as usual papers scattered everywhere. Siwan picks it up one by one, it happens to be part of the song lyric Heechul’s work on it. Siwan continues to walk in, he examines the desk and the bed. His face turns pale when he sees something he wishes it won’t be there.
He finds his pictures; everywhere but somewhat hidden among those stuff. Heechul still has a feeling for him, Siwan realizes that. He bites his below lips. What should he do? Heechul can’t love him, Siwan shakes his head, and they’re already married. Think about Kwanghee and Hyungshik’s feeling!
Siwan sighs. There’s only one person that can help Heechul to move on. Dongjun. He needs to call him.
***
"You need to know one more important fact about me..." Hyungshik says. He put a serious face.
"What is it?" Heechul asks.
"............................I'm hungry." Hyungshik grins and makes the older man chuckles.
"Fine, let's go eat. I haven't eaten anything too since yesterday. Alcohol only made me feel nauseated."
"I remember you said you can't drink." Hyungshik says. He gets up from bed and helps Heechul to change his clothes. "Don't drink again."
"I won't. I'd rather smoke."
"Don't smoke. I don't want you to die because of lungs cancer."
"Arasseo, I won't. I quit smoking already." Heechul obediently says.
Hyungshik put a pair of gloves on his hand, so his scar is covered by it.
"Thank you." Heechul smiles weakly.
"You're welcome." Hyungshik smiles back. He holds his husband's hand and leads him outside.
"Heechul-ah,"
"Yeah?"
"I love you." Hyungshik whispers. "I will repeating these words until you finally believe in me."
"Hyungshik-ah," Heechul calls back.
"Ne?"
"I love you too."
Hyungshik stops his steps. "What did you just say?"
"Not going to repeat." Heechul says, he paces up his walk. Hyungshik grins from ear to ear, quickly chasing the other man.
"Yah, I'll keep your words forever." He hugged Heechul.
Maybe, just maybe, it is the right time for them to finally grow their love?
*to be continue*
Author: ichijo_rui
Pairing: Heeshik, Heewan
Summary: Heechul falls into deep sleep
A/N: Actually I was going to write it and post it before I went internship but didn't have opportunity to do that. So I post it now, sorry it's short. I'm proceeding to chapter 8. ^__^
Chapter 7:
“엄마, 시완형의 천화 번호가 있읍니까? (Mom, do you have Siwan hyung’s phone number?)”
“있어요. 왜그래요? 아, Sydney는 어때요?재미 있나요?^^ (I have it. What's wrong? Ah, how's Sydney? Is it fun?)”
“네, 재미…”
Hyungshik pauses to text his mom for a moment and looks at the man who sleeps beside him.
Is it fun? He asks himself. What does he feel in their honeymoon? It’s fun, tiring, troublesome and full of emotion that he just wants to go home. Honestly he really wishes he can say that it’s fun and tells his mom about him and Heechul. But what can he tell her now? That his husband hasn’t waked up since yesterday? That he checked every hour that Heechul still breathing and scared to wake him up?
He can’t tell her of course.
“네, 재미있어요. Mom can you send me Siwan hyung’s phone number now? Thanks and I love you~”
Hyungshik gently put his phone on the table. Heechul hasn’t waked up, it’s been more than 12 hours since he slept and sleep talked. How long it takes to regain his energy actually?
“Heechul-ah~” Hyungshik whispers on Heechul’s ear. “Ireonnabwa… wake up.”
Hyungshik waits for a second…5 seconds… a minute. 5 minutes. Still, there is no response from Heechul. He sleeps like dead.
“Heechul-ah, what’s wrong with you?!” Hyungshik cries out in silence, nearly frustration from staying on guard for 14 hours. The sun already set without he even knows, and his stomach growls because he hasn’t eaten anything except breakfast in Kevin’s house.
“Are you always like this, Heechul-ah?” Hyungshik asks in despair, the latter won’t open his eyes. He looks like a princess, his small face and pale skin makes him looks like sleeping beauty-eternally fall asleep in a beautiful way. The only one difference is his face looks very weary and fidgety, like he has experienced all sadness in the world within one night. The last time he saw an expression like this was when his mother told him that his father has just passed away. That time, he knew that his mother’s world slowly fell down; and she used to look so…, Hyungshik didn’t know how to describe it, maybe… soulless?
Beep! Beep!
His phone blinks a few times, signaling that there’s a new message to be read. Hyungshik grabs his phone; his mother sent Siwan hyung’s number already. Great, maybe Siwan hyung knows about Heechul’s other persona. Hyungshik thinks. Quickly he dials the number; his finger shaking due to nervousness-how should he tell Siwan about it? Really, he’s actually scared to tell anybody about it. But what if Heechul will never open his eyes again? Just to think about it makes him scared even more.
“Yoboseyo??” Siwan picks up the call. “Who is this?”
“Siwan hyung-ah,” Hyungshik hoarsely calls; he tries not to sound so desperate but fails. At least he’s trying to not cry. “it’s me, Hyungshik.”
“Ahh, Shikkie-ah. How’s your honey moon?? Is it fun?” Siwan warmly asks.
“Yeah, kinda.”
“Where’s Heechul? He treats you nice, isn’t he?”
“Yeah, he is.” Hyungshik says. “Currently, he is sleeping beside me…”
“Oh…”
“….for 14 hours already.” Hyungshik laughs painfully. “Hyung, is he always like this?”
“What do you mean?” Siwan asks confusedly.
“Siwan hyung, Heechul hurts himself yesterday and after that he fell asleep and not yet awaken until now.” Hyungshik says, his free hand rubs his eyes that are wet from tears. No, he won’t cry, he promised to himself. That will make Siwan hyung become confuse and it won’t solve anything.
“Are you two fighting?”
“No, yes, ah, ottokee…” Hyungshik bites his below lips. “We did have some misunderstandings, and yesterday he mentioned about his other personality emerged and he sleeptalked; he mentioned your name, Kwanghee hyung and other. I don’t know what to do…” Hyungshik desperately admits; his tone clearly asking for help.
“….Shikkie-ah,” Siwan lets out a sigh. “Why don’t you try to kiss him? Maybe it breaks the curse.”
“Hyung-ah, I’m not kidding…”
“No, seriously, give it a try. Or do something else to distract him from deep sleep. Call his name, tell him to wake up.” Siwan says. “I thought he lost that disorder already, because the last time I saw him like that was 6 years ago.”
“Hyung… I’m scared.”
“Shikkie, help him. I know you’re the right person to help him to ease the pain.” Siwan ensures him. “I can’t help a lot, mianhae Shikkie.”
Hyungshik holds Heechul’s palm and squeezes it gently; he lets out a sigh and replies, “gwaenchana. Thanks for your advice. I will figure out how to wake him up.”
“I’m sorry Shikkie…” Siwan murmurs.
“Ne, gwaenchana. I’ll hang up now. Bye…” Hyungshik ends the call and turns to Heechul. He is still sleeping, no sign that he’s disturbed by Hyungshik’s presence at all.
“Heechul-ah, wake up…” Hyungshik gently whisper on his ear. “Wake up, Heechul. It’s time for you to end your sleep and face the reality…”
Hyungshik brings his face closer to Heechul’s and gently kiss that pale red lips of him. “I’m not going anywhere, I will stay on your side no matter what. That’s why, you don’t have to be afraid. Ireonna, Heechul-ah, don’t let your other side wins.”
Hyungshik almost give up when he sees there’s no reaction of Heechul, but just when he’s about to give up, he hears a dim murmur from beside him.
“…Shikkie…” A weak whisper comes from Heechul’s small lips. Hyungshik bugs his eyes; his heart pounding hard.
“Heechul? Are you awaken?” Hyungshik asks hesitantly. He checks Heechul’s eyes, they’re still closed.
“I-I’m tired.” Heechul hoarsely says; slowly he opens his eyes. A vision of worried Hyungshik appear in front of him.
“Of course you will feel tired. You slept for more than 14 hours already.” Hyungshik says, his lips form a relieved smile.
“I slept that long?” Heechul asks, his eyes gaze at the ceiling; being pondered in thought for a couple minutes and let silence fills in the air.
“I thought you won’t be awaken anymore,” Hyungshik timidly says. “I was so worried, desperate, and helpless to see you like that.”
“Mianhae.” Heechul says. He closes his eyes and swallows his saliva bitterly. “I’ve been thinking while I was sleeping. So much to think, till IIt’s been awhile since the last time he appeared…”
Hyungshik pay attention to his dearest husband, it seems he has a lot of things in his mind to tell.
“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Heechul asks.
Hyungshik shakes his head. “No. All you did was sleeping like a dead man.”
“Thank God…” Heechul lets out a relieved sigh.
“Shikkie-ah, why don’t you sit beside me and relax?” Heechul suggests and smiles weakly. “I’m sorry I made you worried.”
Hyungshik shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize, but promise me one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t you dare to escape the reality ever again.”
The older man chuckles, “I can’t promise. But I’ll try.”
“You better be.” Hyungshik says. He lies himself next to Heechulie, gently rub his wounded hand.
“Shikkie-ah,” Heechul murmurs, his voice almost inaudible that Hyungshik has to listen carefully.
“Yes, darling?”
“Tell about yourself…” Heechul requests. “I’ve been thinking, and I realized that I know nothing about you.”
“What do you want me to tell you?” Hyungshik asks. His heart beats faster, somewhat nervous because it’s the first time a person ask him to explain about himself. But somewhat he feels happy too, because Heechul wants to know more about him.
“Anything.” Heechul says. “Just do it like you’re telling a bedtime story. I will listen to it.”
“Okay..” Hyungshik gulps. He takes a deep breath before he starts his story.
“Well, as you may know already. My name is Park Hyungshik. I’m the only kid in the family, so I grew up showered by my parents’ love. A few years ago, when I was just got into high school, my dad passed away…”
“Why did he pass away?” Heechul asks.
“Plane crash.” Hyungshik murmurs. “I never saw his corpse, mom forbade me to do. After that, I live alone with my mother. She always works really hard for me, but because of it I often got left alone in home.”
Hyungshik takes a deep breath and continue. “Kevin came into my life. He’s my private tutor when I was in high school. Short story, he taught me everything like my dad. He gave me the affection I needed. But then we broke up. That was already in the past, you don’t have to worry. We remain as friend only.” Hyungshik quickly adds, afraid he might hurt Heechul again.
“Gwaenchana, I won’t be angry again.” Heechul mutters. “Go on, continue your story.”
“Ng…what else you want to know?”
“Your school.”
“Ah, right. I’m currently studying at Seoul University, majoring in management. I joined my campus’ art club because I love to sing. What else you want to know?”
“Everything.” Heechul closes his eyes. “Tell me everything about you, until you don’t have anything else to talk.”
Maybe, just maybe, if he knows Hyungshik well, he will fall deeply for Hyungshik. Maybe he will be able to forget his obsession, something that he always tries to deny and ignore. But he-his other personality-he was right. He’s being chained by his own feeling, and he had thinking about it in his deep sleep. Maybe, it’s the time he really needs to learn to let go and start a new chapter. And maybe, Hyungshik is the right person to help him overcome it?
***
“Siwannie, where are you going?” Kwanghee asks Siwan who quickly run upstair after he ends the phone call.
“I’m going to clean our house.” Siwan says. His face seems wrought-up, and instead of taking vacuum cleaner or else, Siwan takes a key.
“What is that for?” Kwanghee approaches Siwan. “Isn’t that Heechul’s keyroom? I thought he forbids us to come inside.”
“Kwanghee-yah, promise me you won’t tell anybody about it. And please, can you help me to buy groceries now? We run out of milk and egg.”
Kwanghee gazes deep into Siwan’s eyes and sighs. He knows that Siwan gives him signal to stay away from his business. Siwan keeps a lot of secret, same like his cousin. Kwanghee respect that, he knows that those brothers are complicated people.
“Fine, I will buy it.” Kwanghee pinches Siwan’s cheek and goes, leaving Siwan alone in the house.
Slowly Siwan inserts the key that he never used for years into Heechul’s door. A click heard from the door, and he opens the door doubtfully.
“I’m sorry Heechul, I just need to make sure…” Siwan murmurs.
The door banged open; as usual papers scattered everywhere. Siwan picks it up one by one, it happens to be part of the song lyric Heechul’s work on it. Siwan continues to walk in, he examines the desk and the bed. His face turns pale when he sees something he wishes it won’t be there.
He finds his pictures; everywhere but somewhat hidden among those stuff. Heechul still has a feeling for him, Siwan realizes that. He bites his below lips. What should he do? Heechul can’t love him, Siwan shakes his head, and they’re already married. Think about Kwanghee and Hyungshik’s feeling!
Siwan sighs. There’s only one person that can help Heechul to move on. Dongjun. He needs to call him.
***
"You need to know one more important fact about me..." Hyungshik says. He put a serious face.
"What is it?" Heechul asks.
"............................I'm hungry." Hyungshik grins and makes the older man chuckles.
"Fine, let's go eat. I haven't eaten anything too since yesterday. Alcohol only made me feel nauseated."
"I remember you said you can't drink." Hyungshik says. He gets up from bed and helps Heechul to change his clothes. "Don't drink again."
"I won't. I'd rather smoke."
"Don't smoke. I don't want you to die because of lungs cancer."
"Arasseo, I won't. I quit smoking already." Heechul obediently says.
Hyungshik put a pair of gloves on his hand, so his scar is covered by it.
"Thank you." Heechul smiles weakly.
"You're welcome." Hyungshik smiles back. He holds his husband's hand and leads him outside.
"Heechul-ah,"
"Yeah?"
"I love you." Hyungshik whispers. "I will repeating these words until you finally believe in me."
"Hyungshik-ah," Heechul calls back.
"Ne?"
"I love you too."
Hyungshik stops his steps. "What did you just say?"
"Not going to repeat." Heechul says, he paces up his walk. Hyungshik grins from ear to ear, quickly chasing the other man.
"Yah, I'll keep your words forever." He hugged Heechul.
Maybe, just maybe, it is the right time for them to finally grow their love?
*to be continue*