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[icklefairy]

yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my parents being diagnosed.
2 years.
2 fucking years this has been my life for.

today my dad broke down and basically told me he wanted to die.
tell me how thats not meant to break my heart
tell me how i'm meant to deal with that.
tell me something.
something that will make all this better.

Comments

[lewkio]

I don't normally comment on your LJ. But, and this may come across as the wrong sentiment, but your writings put my stupid petty problems into perspective. I hope you go ok in all of this, it must be absolutely vile. All i can do is wish you the strength of thousands, which is long, long overdue.

[icklefairy]

thanks luke. that means a lot.
x

[midgimoo]

Not good :( Lots of hugs being sent your way x x x

[eiren]

How do you react to him saying stuff like that? Are you kind and reassuring?

Maybe what's needed is you to be cruel to be kind, and really launch into him about how fucking selfish that is for him to say that, and that he's a big coward for giving up.

Of course you wont mean it, but maybe that's the fire he needs in his belly to realise he can't give up... and that there are people who love him who really need him to keep fighting on.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but maybe a bit of a "verbal slap" might get him back on track?

Good luck darling, thinking of you all down there
xxx

[icklefairy]

i know he doesn't want to die, he's just frustrated and feels he's wasting away. he hates the fact that he has to rely on me and bob to do everything for him.
i just convinced him there was loads to live for...me bob and my mum. and that he needed to find where the ashcroft stubborn fighting spirit has gone.
my mum and bob are back today so i'm hoping that might cheer him up a bit. been a bit of a struggle just the two of us.

but if he continues on like this maybe i'll verbal slap some sense into him :)
xx

[ellie_darling]

Michael is almost right. Although i know you and i know you wont do it because confrontation is not your thing...

He needs some fire. He needs to be reassured that there are a hundred things to keep fighting for. Who will tell him if you wont??

[icklefairy]

he won't give up. he's an ashcroft.

[widexeyes]

I know it's not really the same, but when my Grandad died my Mam became quite depressed, and used to say how her life has been nothing but shit... which of course really got to me. One day I just couldn't take any more and I just screamed at her, funnily enough she snapped out of it shortly afterwards. I'm not saying scream at your parents, I'm just kinda agreeing with what Michael wrote. xx