(no subject)
I just need to type these thoughts down. it doesnt mean im looking for a post or reply. i just need to get them out sometimes, so read if you may. thats why its here. advise if you feel you can. i wont deny it, i would even encourage it.
wow. i never ever thought this would hurt so much.
i dont even know what to think right now, i have so many emotions.
i dont really know what to think about all this. i like him so much, and this shouldne even matter, but it does, it really does. and i feel like i shouldnt be mad about this. but i am. not as much upset with him, but upset or even dissappointed in myself for feeling like this. i have never gotten jelouse over a guy before, so this feeling is so hard for me to deal with.
its all so new to me, caz its everything in relatioships that i always tolld myself i would never be like. with every guy that i have ever been close with, i have always been the one who has made the guy jelouse or something, and i alwayus told myself i would never get like that with a guy, caz i wouldnt wanna hurt them again, and i wouldnt wanna get hurt agian. but now when its with this one, it just means so much more. it means way way more, and were not even dating. thast how i know that i really care about him. a lot.
and also, i would like to say, that i have never EVER had this many emotions with a guy before. ever. so thats why its so hard, caz i dont know how to deal with the emotions.
and now i finally talked to him about it. i told him everythign. every single thing that i feel. everything. and its all out. and it feels so good. and he knows how i feel, and i know how he feels, and it feels good.
i just wish it was easier for me to express myself with him, but its just hard for me caz its new to me. its all so new. and i just need to deal with things. and im dealing, im trying. and its helping.
it just realllllllly reallllllly hurt so much to know that he was with her. her out of all ppl, and to know that there was feelings in the past, and to know that there could alwyas till be feelings there. but i am trusting it all. im not gonna let it bother me. caz i know how he feels, and i know how i feel, and if anything would happen, it would be what was meant to be. and im not gonna try to change fate, or what is supsoed to happen.
i alwyas feel like, even if something would, that we learn from things like this. adn we build from things liek this. and i even feel like we are building, and very high. very high. and im happy now.
wow. i never ever thought this would hurt so much.
i dont even know what to think right now, i have so many emotions.
i dont really know what to think about all this. i like him so much, and this shouldne even matter, but it does, it really does. and i feel like i shouldnt be mad about this. but i am. not as much upset with him, but upset or even dissappointed in myself for feeling like this. i have never gotten jelouse over a guy before, so this feeling is so hard for me to deal with.
its all so new to me, caz its everything in relatioships that i always tolld myself i would never be like. with every guy that i have ever been close with, i have always been the one who has made the guy jelouse or something, and i alwayus told myself i would never get like that with a guy, caz i wouldnt wanna hurt them again, and i wouldnt wanna get hurt agian. but now when its with this one, it just means so much more. it means way way more, and were not even dating. thast how i know that i really care about him. a lot.
and also, i would like to say, that i have never EVER had this many emotions with a guy before. ever. so thats why its so hard, caz i dont know how to deal with the emotions.
and now i finally talked to him about it. i told him everythign. every single thing that i feel. everything. and its all out. and it feels so good. and he knows how i feel, and i know how he feels, and it feels good.
i just wish it was easier for me to express myself with him, but its just hard for me caz its new to me. its all so new. and i just need to deal with things. and im dealing, im trying. and its helping.
it just realllllllly reallllllly hurt so much to know that he was with her. her out of all ppl, and to know that there was feelings in the past, and to know that there could alwyas till be feelings there. but i am trusting it all. im not gonna let it bother me. caz i know how he feels, and i know how i feel, and if anything would happen, it would be what was meant to be. and im not gonna try to change fate, or what is supsoed to happen.
i alwyas feel like, even if something would, that we learn from things like this. adn we build from things liek this. and i even feel like we are building, and very high. very high. and im happy now.