I didn't see what went down, but I think you're doing an amazing job. I most certainly do not want another mod in your place (except for Cece, when she returns).
There are always haters, but I would think most of us are happy with you here.
I have to say I'm disappointed you're keeping love secrets... Yes, they make people smile. The people they praise. The rest of us is either bored or jealous. There's more and more of them each week too, and I'm a bit afraid iconsecrets is slowly turning into a Mutual Appreciation Society for a Small Group of Elite Makers Who Are Friends with Each Other. Since people outside a certain friends circle hardly ever get mentioned...
I'm so glad someone has finally said it! Love secrets generate so much negative feelings because people who weren't mentioned are jealous. If the same people get praised over and over and over (case in point - Sari got mentioned 4 times in the last post, all in love secrets), the jealousy and discontent escalate into wank and personal attacks.
You mentioned being open to opinions from members - and this seems to be a pretty common opinion, judging by the comments in the last few secrets posts. Yes, these opinions are usually expressed in anonymous comments, but there's a good reason for that, I think - the most outspoken/well-connected (meaning: with many similarly elite friends) 'elite' makers are all for love secrets because they get mentioned often, and no one wants to cross them in fear of being shunned or ignored. So please, consider opening this up for discussion, or maybe make a poll (with hidden voters)?
If you can't be happy for other people, then that's your own issue. If you're bored, just skip it. Did that hurt you, somehow?
I am not a member of that circle of friends, and I have made praise secrets. It has to do with talent, not the circle. If you feel people aren't being praised because they're outside of that circle, praise them yourself and stop complaining about it.
God - I mean, I know it's the internet and all, but I can't believe people are complaining about people being too nice. If you want nastiness, go to an OTND community.
Maybe a word of advice to those who do make love secrets for the person in question: stop making them. She has gotten more than her share of them and that's nice and all but she is one of the (only?) instances where something negative inevitably ends up being mentioned and then it escalates to what happened this week. Personally, secrets of that nature end up putting a level of pressure on the person to return or feel obligated to add everyone. 90% of the community knows that a certain group of people miss her but that doesn't mean it needs to be made into a secret every week. So, friends or admirers from a far, while I'm sure you mean well maybe just lay off those types of secrets
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If you don't like love secrets, just ignore them, instead of MAKING it negative by commenting with negative stuff. If you're jealous, sure, let them know, but not in a way you usually do.
People can go on and on about how they respect that people have other opinions than them, but I don't buy that for one single second.
Everyone that doesn't love something or has a "negative" opinion, or doesn't like elite makers/communities are labeled as either jealous or butt hurt (GOD I hate that term).
I assume you are being sarcastic but in the off chance you are not, if you really rather not have as many secrets about you maybe mention it to your f-list? I remember library_of_sex had a-similar situation and went about it that way. Not saying you have to do that but I think having a specific community rule that says that is a bit drastic, lol.
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There are always haters, but I would think most of us are happy with you here.
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I'm so glad someone has finally said it! Love secrets generate so much negative feelings because people who weren't mentioned are jealous. If the same people get praised over and over and over (case in point - Sari got mentioned 4 times in the last post, all in love secrets), the jealousy and discontent escalate into wank and personal attacks.
You mentioned being open to opinions from members - and this seems to be a pretty common opinion, judging by the comments in the last few secrets posts. Yes, these opinions are usually expressed in anonymous comments, but there's a good reason for that, I think - the most outspoken/well-connected (meaning: with many similarly elite friends) 'elite' makers are all for love secrets because they get mentioned often, and no one wants to cross them in fear of being shunned or ignored. So please, consider opening this up for discussion, or maybe make a poll (with hidden voters)?
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I am not a member of that circle of friends, and I have made praise secrets. It has to do with talent, not the circle. If you feel people aren't being praised because they're outside of that circle, praise them yourself and stop complaining about it.
God - I mean, I know it's the internet and all, but I can't believe people are complaining about people being too nice. If you want nastiness, go to an OTND community.
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If you don't like love secrets, just ignore them, instead of MAKING it negative by commenting with negative stuff. If you're jealous, sure, let them know, but not in a way you usually do.
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People can go on and on about how they respect that people have other opinions than them, but I don't buy that for one single second.
Everyone that doesn't love something or has a "negative" opinion, or doesn't like elite makers/communities are labeled as either jealous or butt hurt (GOD I hate that term).
It's just....I.. I just have no words.
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Sorry you had to read all that was written in the last secrets post. Couldn't have been easy. *hugs*
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