Episode 2: To Hell With Grinding
Remember how this was a thing? It didn't stop being a thing.
So! Unless I want to grind Ryoma to the point that taking on BF with just him is a good idea, I should catch a second Pokemon. There is only one place left for doing this within the confines of the rules.
Basically, if I manage to catch a Pikachu my life is awesome forever. I'm far more likely to wind up with a bug that will not be useful until level 10 and never useful again once the enemies are past level 20, so let's roll that die.
Good for you.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Wait, haha, just kidding! That's a screencap from the distant future.
My life is nothing but torment. Sigh... let's do this thing.
If I didn't have a good supply of medicine I'd be freaking the fuck out over the fact that Ryoma is poisoned, but I do, so that's good. That is seriously not how I want this thing to go down in smoke and failure.
I don't know why I decided to honor that tired VGCats joke, but I guess I'm stuck with it now. Good character's name on a Pokemon that will soon be boxed even if it survives. I mean, seriously... Beedrill's pretty useless. But fuck it, I need a Squirtle killer. Time to head back to town.
Like I said, crisis averted.
Now, because wasting probably more than one Potion the many times I'm likely to get poisoned in the future seems financially uncertain, I'm gonna make another stop at the Pokemart.
All bullshit out of the way, IT'S TRAINING MONTAGE TIME.
Some battling...
Some switching out...
Some levels...
Some Simon pulling just a little bit of his own goddamn weight...
And after what feels like entirely too much time, level 7!
IN BEFORE HARDEN JOKES
He is marginally less useless now. Very marginally. This would be a good time to explain to those not super literate in Pokemans that Poison Sting's actual damage, as its own attack independent of the fact that it can poison things, is dog shit. I mean I'd have been better off with a Caterpie, because Poison Sting is significantly weaker than Tackle. Simon sucks and I don't like him.
Grinding...
Grinding...
Grinding and grinding...
Grinding...
Oh fuck it.
I value Simon's life less than the time investment to get him one more level and evolve him. Level-grinding is tedious. Level-grinding a shitty early-game bug is Purgatory.
Oh look! It's raining douchebags.
BF dissuades me from trying to take on the Pokemon League with a Charmander and a Kakuna! Wow, I hadn't realized that might be a bad idea. Anyway fuck this fucker. TO BATTLE!
...Shit, I forgot to change party order.
No big deal. BF's Pidgey gets one first attack in but this makes it very slightly less of a pushover before Ryoma's burning spirit. Pun intended, but only ironically.
And then it magically transformed into a fully-prepared turkey dinner for comedic effect.
Well, with Ryoma damaged that much, I pretty much have to. Take one for the team, kid.
I'm terrible. Of course Simon is gonna die. He could barely beat Rattata at levels lower than him. A Starter at the same level is gonna go through him like tissue paper. Unless...
...
UNLESS THE A.I. IS TOO DUMB TO USE BUBBLE. Bubble's a Special attack, and I can only cheese Simon's Physical defense. Does this occur to BF? No. Must be the brain damage.
Oh yeah. Not bad, kid. Ryoma should definitely be able to pick Squirtle off when if you die.
...
FINISH HIM.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Simon is officially a Bro For Life.
And BF is officially a bitch.
TO BE CONTINUED
Pokemon caught: 3
Fatalities: 1
Badges: 0
Rival's Dignity: 0
So! Unless I want to grind Ryoma to the point that taking on BF with just him is a good idea, I should catch a second Pokemon. There is only one place left for doing this within the confines of the rules.
Basically, if I manage to catch a Pikachu my life is awesome forever. I'm far more likely to wind up with a bug that will not be useful until level 10 and never useful again once the enemies are past level 20, so let's roll that die.
Good for you.
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY
Wait, haha, just kidding! That's a screencap from the distant future.
My life is nothing but torment. Sigh... let's do this thing.
If I didn't have a good supply of medicine I'd be freaking the fuck out over the fact that Ryoma is poisoned, but I do, so that's good. That is seriously not how I want this thing to go down in smoke and failure.
I don't know why I decided to honor that tired VGCats joke, but I guess I'm stuck with it now. Good character's name on a Pokemon that will soon be boxed even if it survives. I mean, seriously... Beedrill's pretty useless. But fuck it, I need a Squirtle killer. Time to head back to town.
Like I said, crisis averted.
Now, because wasting probably more than one Potion the many times I'm likely to get poisoned in the future seems financially uncertain, I'm gonna make another stop at the Pokemart.
All bullshit out of the way, IT'S TRAINING MONTAGE TIME.
Click to view Some battling...
Some switching out...
Some levels...
Some Simon pulling just a little bit of his own goddamn weight...
And after what feels like entirely too much time, level 7!
IN BEFORE HARDEN JOKES
He is marginally less useless now. Very marginally. This would be a good time to explain to those not super literate in Pokemans that Poison Sting's actual damage, as its own attack independent of the fact that it can poison things, is dog shit. I mean I'd have been better off with a Caterpie, because Poison Sting is significantly weaker than Tackle. Simon sucks and I don't like him.
Grinding...
Grinding...
Grinding and grinding...
Grinding...
Oh fuck it.
I value Simon's life less than the time investment to get him one more level and evolve him. Level-grinding is tedious. Level-grinding a shitty early-game bug is Purgatory.
Oh look! It's raining douchebags.
BF dissuades me from trying to take on the Pokemon League with a Charmander and a Kakuna! Wow, I hadn't realized that might be a bad idea. Anyway fuck this fucker. TO BATTLE!
...Shit, I forgot to change party order.
No big deal. BF's Pidgey gets one first attack in but this makes it very slightly less of a pushover before Ryoma's burning spirit. Pun intended, but only ironically.
And then it magically transformed into a fully-prepared turkey dinner for comedic effect.
Well, with Ryoma damaged that much, I pretty much have to. Take one for the team, kid.
I'm terrible. Of course Simon is gonna die. He could barely beat Rattata at levels lower than him. A Starter at the same level is gonna go through him like tissue paper. Unless...
...
UNLESS THE A.I. IS TOO DUMB TO USE BUBBLE. Bubble's a Special attack, and I can only cheese Simon's Physical defense. Does this occur to BF? No. Must be the brain damage.
Oh yeah. Not bad, kid. Ryoma should definitely be able to pick Squirtle off when if you die.
...
FINISH HIM.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Simon is officially a Bro For Life.
And BF is officially a bitch.
TO BE CONTINUED
Pokemon caught: 3
Fatalities: 1
Badges: 0
Rival's Dignity: 0