The only thing that I'd suggest changing is: This view is new with the fog crawling in the depths She covers me like the fog over descending paths Only because the use of the word "fog" feels repetitive. Sometimes repetition of a word works, but in this case, you might want to change it up. Maybe to: This view is new with the fog crawling in the depths She covers me like the mist over descending paths The last two lines of the last verse work fine in that respect, though, in case you were wondering. Of course, that's just what I would do.
Other than that, it's good. I especially like the chorus. I'd like to hear you play it sometime.
Ah yes... good call on that... it wasn't like that originally, but while I was playing with words, that got changed and didn't get changed back. Thanks, Tim.
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This view is new with the fog crawling in the depths
She covers me like the fog over descending paths
Only because the use of the word "fog" feels repetitive. Sometimes repetition of a word works, but in this case, you might want to change it up. Maybe to:
This view is new with the fog crawling in the depths
She covers me like the mist over descending paths
The last two lines of the last verse work fine in that respect, though, in case you were wondering. Of course, that's just what I would do.
Other than that, it's good. I especially like the chorus. I'd like to hear you play it sometime.
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