is this for real?
oh, craigslist.
found this while perusing the pets section in hopes of finding dogs that need walking.
FREE! annoying, useless striped cat
Reply to: comm-177713983@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 1:29PM EDT
MEOWS INCESSANTLY
Her name is Xera, and she meows incessantly. Not only does she NEVER stop meowing, but she has worn her vocal cords out to the point that it sounds like Joan Rivers meowing. She liks to wait until you are almost asleep and then come up and knead your side with full-on claws while meowing hoarsely in your ear. She also meows for food even when she already has food but is too dumb to realize it.
NEEDS LOTS OF ATTENTION / HISSES AND BITES
She needs a lot of attention in that she wants to lie on your lap, lie on the keyboard when you are at the computer (as she is partially doing now, causing this post to take much longer than it should), wants you to pet her - but ONLY on the head. if your hand strays towards any other part of her body or even if she suddenly decides that she's had enough head-petting, she will hiss and bite you.
We also refer to her as Satan. Our Rottweiler is afraid of her.
SCRATCHES YOUR FURNITURE
We've bought scratching posts for her, we've sprinkled catnip on them, we've tried it all, but the net-net is that we have a couch that we bought two years ago brand new that looks like we got it at the dump. It is absolutely shredded. She keeps those claws razor-sharp so that when she's kneading your side in the middle of the night, you pretty much jump out of your skin, at which point she hisses loudly at you and runs away.
THROWS UP
It's not just hairballs, which I think all cats throw up every now and then. If you give her anything but very specific dry cat food brands, she will puke all over your bed, clothes, couch, you name it. It sort of makes you feel bad for her because she is so sick of the damn dry food (she's always trying to eat the dog's delicious canned food) but if you give her any wet food, you will see it again later on that night. The only positive side to this is that, like a bulimic, she manages to keep her weight reasonable, so she isn't one of those giant overstuffed cats who can't reach their rear end to keep it clean. In fact, she is actually a very clean cat, which is one of her only positive attributes.
DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH OTHER ANIMALS
As mentioned above, our dog is afraid of this cat, and the dog is literally 10 - 12 times larger than her. We tried giving her to our crazy-cat-lover friend who already has two cats, but she ended up not letting the other two cats get anywhere near our friend, so she gave her back to us. If you have other animals, this cat will make them very unhappy. Do not do this to your other animals.
FUR, FUR EVERYWHERE
Do you like fur all over your apartment and clothes? You are in luck! Xera has lots of fur and spreads it throughout your home and possessions freely.
GENERALLY USELESS AS A PET
This cat is good for show only - she looks good curled up somewhere in your apartment. If only she were stuffed.
IN SUMMARY
We "inherited" this cat from an old roommate who threatened to take her to a shelter if we didn't keep her, and we don't really love her. What little charm she had has worn off. However, for some reason I do feel an obligation to give her to a good home, so all you weirdos out there who want a cat for the wrong reasons (whatever those are), I will be checking references and all of that before giving up this gem of a cat. Email me if you truly want more details and a picture.
found this while perusing the pets section in hopes of finding dogs that need walking.
FREE! annoying, useless striped cat
Reply to: comm-177713983@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-07-02, 1:29PM EDT
MEOWS INCESSANTLY
Her name is Xera, and she meows incessantly. Not only does she NEVER stop meowing, but she has worn her vocal cords out to the point that it sounds like Joan Rivers meowing. She liks to wait until you are almost asleep and then come up and knead your side with full-on claws while meowing hoarsely in your ear. She also meows for food even when she already has food but is too dumb to realize it.
NEEDS LOTS OF ATTENTION / HISSES AND BITES
She needs a lot of attention in that she wants to lie on your lap, lie on the keyboard when you are at the computer (as she is partially doing now, causing this post to take much longer than it should), wants you to pet her - but ONLY on the head. if your hand strays towards any other part of her body or even if she suddenly decides that she's had enough head-petting, she will hiss and bite you.
We also refer to her as Satan. Our Rottweiler is afraid of her.
SCRATCHES YOUR FURNITURE
We've bought scratching posts for her, we've sprinkled catnip on them, we've tried it all, but the net-net is that we have a couch that we bought two years ago brand new that looks like we got it at the dump. It is absolutely shredded. She keeps those claws razor-sharp so that when she's kneading your side in the middle of the night, you pretty much jump out of your skin, at which point she hisses loudly at you and runs away.
THROWS UP
It's not just hairballs, which I think all cats throw up every now and then. If you give her anything but very specific dry cat food brands, she will puke all over your bed, clothes, couch, you name it. It sort of makes you feel bad for her because she is so sick of the damn dry food (she's always trying to eat the dog's delicious canned food) but if you give her any wet food, you will see it again later on that night. The only positive side to this is that, like a bulimic, she manages to keep her weight reasonable, so she isn't one of those giant overstuffed cats who can't reach their rear end to keep it clean. In fact, she is actually a very clean cat, which is one of her only positive attributes.
DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH OTHER ANIMALS
As mentioned above, our dog is afraid of this cat, and the dog is literally 10 - 12 times larger than her. We tried giving her to our crazy-cat-lover friend who already has two cats, but she ended up not letting the other two cats get anywhere near our friend, so she gave her back to us. If you have other animals, this cat will make them very unhappy. Do not do this to your other animals.
FUR, FUR EVERYWHERE
Do you like fur all over your apartment and clothes? You are in luck! Xera has lots of fur and spreads it throughout your home and possessions freely.
GENERALLY USELESS AS A PET
This cat is good for show only - she looks good curled up somewhere in your apartment. If only she were stuffed.
IN SUMMARY
We "inherited" this cat from an old roommate who threatened to take her to a shelter if we didn't keep her, and we don't really love her. What little charm she had has worn off. However, for some reason I do feel an obligation to give her to a good home, so all you weirdos out there who want a cat for the wrong reasons (whatever those are), I will be checking references and all of that before giving up this gem of a cat. Email me if you truly want more details and a picture.