Four of a Kind or I may finally have lost it
Thanks and all blame goes to
ithidrial for unintentionally inspiring this silliness by the casual mention of her ‘favourite Captain Jack’. I wondered briefly how my two favourite Captain Jacks might get on, and then it kind of spiralled out from there. This started life as a drabble, then a ficlet and now it seems to have taken on a life of its own. Now Complete, but I may write a sequel one day...
Four of a Kind
The bottle of Jack Daniels sat smugly in the middle of the table, as the three other Jacks in the room eyed each other cautiously.
“Well, the obvious question is how did you get here?"
“No, the obvious question is how the hell am I gonna get back there?”
“Nah mate, the question really is, do I want to go back. Savvy?”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I definitely want to go back. I was in the middle of something kinda important. And I just got married.”
“Congratulations mate, that deserves a drink I think.” Jack eyed the bottle greedily. Jack sighed and poured them all a drink. After a brief toast, Jack knocked his back then pulled a face. “Got any rum?”
“No, this is all I got. Sorry.” Jack grabbed the bottle from the middle of the table, examined it briefly then proceeded to pour himself another.
“It’s not rum, but it’ll do.”
Jack sighed and looked to Jack, who rolled his eyes and asked,
“So tell me again, what year is it? And I’m where exactly?”
“It’s 2007 and you’re in Cardiff. That’s in Wales.” Jack still looked puzzled. Jack sighed at his compatriot’s ignorance and elaborated, “It’s in the UK? The little knobbly bit on the side of England.” Recognition dawned on Jack’s face.
“Well last I knew it was 1984 and I was in Afghanistan. I can’t say more than that, it’s classified.”
“Don’t worry Captain, I have top level clearance. I already know about that mission and the importance of everything that comes after it. It’s vital that you get back to your time as soon as possible. What about you Captain? Captain Sparrow?” Jack started, spilling a little of the whiskey.
“Don’t ask me mate, last I knew I was being eaten alive by some buggering big beastie in the middle of the Caribbean. Which is exactly why I’m very grateful to be here, not there.” Jack smiled, breathing alcoholic fumes over the other two.
Jack sighed inwardly. If the Doctor were here it would be simple, just pop in the TARDIS and bob’s your uncle. But he wasn’t here, and here was 2007, where time-travel technology had yet to be developed. The best guess Tosh could come up with was that these two had been pulled through the Rift. Why, they had no clue, and as to the peculiar coincidence of their names… well Jack hoped that was simply a coincidence and not some cosmic conspiracy to give him a headache.
Jack turned again to Captain O’Neill.
“Now, please tell me exactly what you were doing before you arrived here. Even the smallest detail may be significant and help us get you home.”
Jack nodded his understanding. Taking a sip from his drink, he began,
“My team was going in to recover hostages taken. We were waiting until nightfall, about five clicks from the target, and it was about another hour until we were a go. I was just passing time with my team, chatting, playing cards, nothing out of the ordinary.”
“Well, unless Captain Sparrow makes a habit of being eaten alive, I suspect that your actions had nothing to do with what happened. Your locations weren’t the same either. This may take some time to sort out, I’m afraid you’ll both have to bear with us.”
“Well, as long as you keep up the supply of booze, you can take as long as you want mate.”
“I understand Captain Harkness, but I’m not one to sit on my ass, so if there’s anything I can do to help, just let me know.”
“Appreciated Captain O’Neill, I’ll keep it in mind.” With that, Jack Harkness stood up and headed out into the Hub. The last thing he heard as the door shut was Captain Sparrow saying,
“I know this really great song…” Jack Harkness shook his head.
His guests were…interesting to say the least. They were both kinda cute too, he thought idly, before stuffing that thought back down where it belonged. Sparrow might have been open to anything given enough alcohol, but he had the feeling that O’Neill was straighter than a laser-rule. He trotted down the stairs towards his waiting team.
“So people, any thoughts?”
“Well, if the rift brought them here…” Tosh began, but Jack shook his head, smiling.
“No good. We don’t know where or when they might end up. I have to stress people, it is vitally important we get Jack O’Neill back to when and where he belongs. Any other thoughts?” The team all suddenly found their shoes really, really interesting. Jack sighed inwardly before continuing. “Owen! Find anything unusual that may help?”
“Nope.” Owen replied. Jack looked at him intently. “Oh sorry, you want more? Well their DNA, bio-signatures, pulse, BP are all normal, all human. I can’t see anything out of the ordinary to explain their presence. Except perhaps an inordinate amount of alcohol in Captain Sparrow’s blood.”
“Somehow I doubt that explains why he was pulled through the rift. Tosh, Gwen, did you find out anything about who our guests are?”
“Well, there’s not much about Captain O’Neill that isn’t classified, but I’m guessing you already knew that.” Tosh said, “I tried hacking into the military computers but the best I could find out is that he is now General O’Neill, retired, and that he was last assigned to something called the SGC, attached to the US Air Force. I can’t get past their firewall, it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen, as good as ours, but I’ll keep trying.” With that she turned back to her work station.
“I’m sorry Jack,” Gwen started, “but I don’t have much more on Captain Sparrow. He was an infamous eighteenth century pirate, sailed the Caribbean mostly. He was captured by the East India Trading Company on several occasions but somehow always managed to escape. He was lost at sea, beyond that it’s all more legend than historical fact.”
“Ahem.” Ianto coughed politely. “I think I might have something.” Everyone looked at him curious. “I read a lot about pirates when I was younger. Captain Sparrow sailed with a man named William Turner and his son William.”
“So?” Owen prompted.
“So,” Tosh provided, grabbing her files, “Captain O’Neill also served with a man named William Turner.”
“Three Williams, three Jacks. Could be more than coincidence. Good work Ianto.” Jack said and smiled at him, which was returned. “Tosh start thinking how we can use this. Gwen, Owen, keep exploring other possibilities in case we’re wrong. I’ll see if I can remember ever knowing a William Turner.”
Concludes in Part Two