distrac.. life
so things have been busy lately. really busy, in fact. when i come back to write an entry, though, all i can think about is how bitter i am that they wont let me use my old custom layout without all the stupid ads and with the colors i want. ;_;
life with a girlfriend is good when it isnt frustrating, but none of us are perfect so im sure she feels the same way (or at least, replace frustrating with "saddening" maybe). its pretty rewarding to think that someone does appreciate you and living the kind of lifestyle that you imagined you might have with a one-day-some-day significant other. i think the major danger might be the transition to work-life for a current student. ultimately, what made me really dislike my last mostly-relationship was the fact that time was never really made for me unless it was convenient. thats not really "making time", and it bothered me a lot, but i guess you forgive a lot of things when you decide you love someone. that said, i havent had to forgive a whole lot in the last few months except basically lack of trust and a bit of self-degradation and self-induced depressions... oh and a bit of unnecessary sacrifice. relationships are all about communication, after all. that kind of requires some kind of confidence and trust to say what needs to be said or maybe just to express something that should be rather than hide it.
anyway, aside from the more important stuff, i kinda went on a shopping spree for black-weekend ( -.-;;; ) and got some games for cheap and some other misc-y stuff thatmight make life better for people. its not a lot of money but i probably shouldnt be spending it. almost done with my original student loans and have 1 more left that matters a bit -- the sallie mae loan is going to die a cold, starving death as i neglect it into the ground with minimum payments at a 1.5% interest rate. so i guess im looking at a car in another year or two and possibly my own place within a year as well. it really depends how well i can manage my own funds, but ill be aiming for total independence i suppose. it is nice to maintain family ties, and i like having people around who arent me, sometimes (although its tougher here since nobody shares common interests with me), but i really should begin to do my own thing soon, i think, or i run the risk of hanging out here in this not quite big enough house for too long.
ooh, need some water....
ok back.
in other news, thanksgiving weekend was super awesome but totally draining! i went to 3 different thanksgiving parties and at all of them did i walk away feeling like i had eaten even the kitchen sink. unfortunately, this year, i most of my fairly-famous cranberry sauce got eaten at my family event. most of the time, i take half of it and bring most of that half back - then i take batches around to different parties. this time, people ate it like a soup (and i totally would too).
i kinda wish i had more people-time in me, cause i would have stayed longer at the middle party where i think people were drinking til whenever-o'clock. heres a picture from that party:
so yeah, as you can tell, it was a good time. i was happy with the food and the company despite the resulting 5 or 7 lb gain.
now, its my week of being on-call for work, which means they can call me any time of day or night for random bullshit. im not really looking forward to this for a few reasons... mostly just 2... which happen to be 2 different birthday celebrations on friday and saturday night. i will be super disappointed if i get a call and have to somehow find a wireless connection that isnt my phone (because for some reason my phone doesnt seem to want to tether wirelessly even though it should be able to with that aplication that i have on it :(((
taekwondo is going ok, but daaaamn its hard. i feel like im getting so old as my body cant seem to keep up the way it used to. and its only been like 3 years. ouch. maybe its the diet at home? i dunno. i totally used to eat healthier when i had to manage my own food supply.
mostly i am just trying to find the time to do everything i want to do, and its getting more difficult as responsibilities and obligations increase. i guess this is being an adult.... unfortunately i still feel like a kid (though im kinda too old to be one? maybe? )
the dog is taunting me laying in my bed while i type so i think ill go lay down with her soon and crash.
its kind of an unpleasant feeling to want to be around my friends because i miss them but to also want to be isolated from everybody (including myself?) for a few days. or a week. (two might be pushing it)
see you, space cowboy (no really, the movie is in my netflix instant q)
life with a girlfriend is good when it isnt frustrating, but none of us are perfect so im sure she feels the same way (or at least, replace frustrating with "saddening" maybe). its pretty rewarding to think that someone does appreciate you and living the kind of lifestyle that you imagined you might have with a one-day-some-day significant other. i think the major danger might be the transition to work-life for a current student. ultimately, what made me really dislike my last mostly-relationship was the fact that time was never really made for me unless it was convenient. thats not really "making time", and it bothered me a lot, but i guess you forgive a lot of things when you decide you love someone. that said, i havent had to forgive a whole lot in the last few months except basically lack of trust and a bit of self-degradation and self-induced depressions... oh and a bit of unnecessary sacrifice. relationships are all about communication, after all. that kind of requires some kind of confidence and trust to say what needs to be said or maybe just to express something that should be rather than hide it.
anyway, aside from the more important stuff, i kinda went on a shopping spree for black-weekend ( -.-;;; ) and got some games for cheap and some other misc-y stuff thatmight make life better for people. its not a lot of money but i probably shouldnt be spending it. almost done with my original student loans and have 1 more left that matters a bit -- the sallie mae loan is going to die a cold, starving death as i neglect it into the ground with minimum payments at a 1.5% interest rate. so i guess im looking at a car in another year or two and possibly my own place within a year as well. it really depends how well i can manage my own funds, but ill be aiming for total independence i suppose. it is nice to maintain family ties, and i like having people around who arent me, sometimes (although its tougher here since nobody shares common interests with me), but i really should begin to do my own thing soon, i think, or i run the risk of hanging out here in this not quite big enough house for too long.
ooh, need some water....
ok back.
in other news, thanksgiving weekend was super awesome but totally draining! i went to 3 different thanksgiving parties and at all of them did i walk away feeling like i had eaten even the kitchen sink. unfortunately, this year, i most of my fairly-famous cranberry sauce got eaten at my family event. most of the time, i take half of it and bring most of that half back - then i take batches around to different parties. this time, people ate it like a soup (and i totally would too).
i kinda wish i had more people-time in me, cause i would have stayed longer at the middle party where i think people were drinking til whenever-o'clock. heres a picture from that party:
so yeah, as you can tell, it was a good time. i was happy with the food and the company despite the resulting 5 or 7 lb gain.
now, its my week of being on-call for work, which means they can call me any time of day or night for random bullshit. im not really looking forward to this for a few reasons... mostly just 2... which happen to be 2 different birthday celebrations on friday and saturday night. i will be super disappointed if i get a call and have to somehow find a wireless connection that isnt my phone (because for some reason my phone doesnt seem to want to tether wirelessly even though it should be able to with that aplication that i have on it :(((
taekwondo is going ok, but daaaamn its hard. i feel like im getting so old as my body cant seem to keep up the way it used to. and its only been like 3 years. ouch. maybe its the diet at home? i dunno. i totally used to eat healthier when i had to manage my own food supply.
mostly i am just trying to find the time to do everything i want to do, and its getting more difficult as responsibilities and obligations increase. i guess this is being an adult.... unfortunately i still feel like a kid (though im kinda too old to be one? maybe? )
the dog is taunting me laying in my bed while i type so i think ill go lay down with her soon and crash.
its kind of an unpleasant feeling to want to be around my friends because i miss them but to also want to be isolated from everybody (including myself?) for a few days. or a week. (two might be pushing it)
see you, space cowboy (no really, the movie is in my netflix instant q)