[bts: v/jimin] tonight, we'll defy the stars (hello my old heart) (2/3)

[idyleski]

“Hey, wake up Tae,” Jimin flicks Taehyung’s forehead. His head is resting against the window of the car and the disgusting saliva has made its way down the door and onto his shirt. “You’re spit is all over the window.” Taehyung jerks up and uses the end of his scarf to wipe the spit off of his mouth and the window. “That’s disgusting,” Jimin crinkles his nose at the mess that his best friend is.

“Not as disgusting as you are,” Taehyung shoots back. The car jerks to a halt at the side of the curb and Taehyung springs out of the door before Jimin can come up with a semi-witty reply.

Jimin shakes his head as he walks out to the trunk. The snow crunches beneath his boots as he rubs his hands together. Lifting the trunk of the car, Jimin begins to carry out the cardboard boxes one by one. He reaches for the one labeled KIM TAEHYUNG with lions leaping over the cracks in the box. “What did you put in this box?” Jimin asks when he’s out of breath (climbing the stairs, not because his very cute best friend) and the box is set down with a loud thud.

“Just a few things,” Taehyung dismisses with a wave of his hand as he shoves the box to an empty corner.

“A few?” Jimin asks incredulously as peers into the box. It’s stacked to the very brim with crumpled clothes and old photographs in their picture frames. Jimin lies down against the hardwood floor and his butt is so cold he swears it could be an icebox right now. “How many more boxes?” He whines as he spreads his hands and arms out.

“Well, we still got all the boxes in the car and the mattress and we need to wait until my mom comes with the other car,” Taehyung replies absently as he starts to set out some clothes on their floor. “Are these Winnie the Pooh?” He looks over at Jimin with a raised eyebrow as he waves his boxers. “They’re so cute, can I have them?” Jimin turns his head so his cheek is residing against the floor and kicks Taehyung.

Jimin is leaning against the wooden bed frame with hot chocolate in his hand, even though the ends of his hair are still damp and his sweater is sticking to his back. His wiggles his toes in the dumb socks that Taehyung once gave him in some mix-match set. He’s watching Music Core and Big Bang is on with their new comeback. Taeyang is hitting his high note when the mattress suddenly bounces up and Jimin very nearly spills hot chocolate all over himself.

“Hey watch it,” he miffs as he hugs his mug protectively. “That could have made a stain on the mattress.” Taehyung’s eyes are wide and open and peering at him curiously and Jimin is telling himself that the reason he warmth is flooding into his body is because of the hot chocolate.

“You could just use a bedsheet to cover it up,” Taehyung states as he bounces up again. This time Jimin chooses to lean over and set the mug onto the ground. “It’s not like anyone else is going to come over to our apartment.”

“Yeah,” Jimin turns around to look back at the small television and is interrupted when Taehyung decides to lay on top of his legs. Jimin glares at him and tries to move his legs to kick Taehyung off, but only succeeds in knocking over his cup of hot chocolate. “Are you for real?” he asks when Taehyung still doesn’t budge.

He turns over on his stomach so now his ribcage is digging into Jimin’s thighs. “It’s comfortable like this,” Taehyung remarks as he flips the page to his book. “You make an especially nice pillow.” Taehyung looks up at Jimin from the top of his book and Jimin finds the rising urge to either punch or cuddle him. “Besides you’re warm too.”

Jimin rolls his eyes in response as he tries once again to move. When he finally resigned to being Taehyung’s pillow rest Jimin reaches behind him for the laptop lying on top of the bed and puts it on Taehyung’s stomach. He opens the cover and begins to search for nearby dance studios.

An hour later (fifty-seven minutes and forty-four seconds) Jimin’s legs begin to go numb and he tries to shake Taehyung off again. He peers down to see that Taehyung is snoring lightly and his book is resting on top of his face. Putting the laptop on the floor, not anywhere remotely near the spill, Jimin gradually rolls Taehyung off his legs and removes the book from his face.

Making a face of disgust Jimin bookmarks the page filled with drool and chucks it to where he hopes is the drawer. He scoops Taehyung up in his arms and more of drops him onto the bed rather than putting him down gently. Covering Taehyung’s body with his old quilt that he stole from Jimin’s house at one point (“it has lions Jiminie, lions”) Jimin shuts down the laptop and cleans up the mess that luckily hasn’t seeped into his old mattress.

Turning off the lights Jimin flops into bed and pulls the blankets up to his chin. He finds himself staring at the darkness and he pulls the blankets around him a bit tighter. There’s something surreal about all of this, that he’s living in an apartment with his best friend. Jimin lets out a yawn and folds his legs up.

Later in the morning Jimin wakes up (when he’s eighteen years, ninety-seven days, fifteen hours, and six seconds old) with his back pressed into Taehyung’s stomach and Taehyung’s arms wrapped around his waist and he still wonders why exactly his heart is fluttering.

Jimin is sitting in the brightly lit dance studio in a small chair that’s actually a footstool and he’s currently watching his new boss frantically throwing the papers off his desk. (He’s eighteen years, one hundred and twelve days, four hours, and thirty-nine seconds old). “Sorry,” Hoseok yelps from somewhere behind a towering stack that looks strikingly similar to the recycle bin back in his shared apartment (whenever he thinks theirs his insides turn into mush).

“It’s okay,” Jimin replies, wiping his palms on his jeans. He can feel the perspiration forming underneath his armpits and the dance studio is freezing.

“Yoongi came over and decided it would be a good idea to mess up all my things,” Hoseok offers with a smile that’s still as wide as when Jimin walked in and tripped over his own feet. Hoseok is pulling the post-it notes off his monitor and Jimin turns his neck to watch the papers flutter to the ground. stop giggling in my ear at it’s a fucking disturbance to my music and you sound like a dying puppy.

“Yeah,” Jimin trails off as he angles his head to read another post-it. He jerks his head up when Hoseok walks right in front of him and bends down to pick up the post-it, cheeks flushed.

“Hoseok-hyung,” Hoseok hands him his work schedule. “I’ve never been called hyung before. I’m only older than Namjoon by half a year and he wouldn’t even do it when he was sick and I made him noodles.” Hoseok shakes his head but there’s something peculiar about the way his eyes light up and nearly glisten

“It’s ridiculous,” Jimin finds himself agreeing. “I’ve tried to get Taehyung to call me hyung since I was five. We got into a huge fight about it and ended up not talking for three weeks.”

Hoseok beams at Jimin as he sits down against his desk, facing him. He crosses his legs as he thumbs through the stack of post-it notes he’s collected, most of them green. “You should bring him over,” Hoseok laughs as he sets the stack of post-its onto his desk, “then I can finally prove to Yoongi I’m not the weirdest person he’s met.”

Jimin makes a garbled noise in his throat and chokes. “He’ll probably just invite himself over instead,” He replies, after coughing repeatedly. “Be careful of a pink-haired stranger that suddenly knocks on your door asking you to listen to his rap.” Jimin glances down to Hoseok’s wrists and he notices the two names scrawled onto Hoseok’s wrist (Namjoon and Yoongi) and his own wrist feels empty in comparison.

“Yeah I’ll definitely watch out for that,” Hoseok beams at him and his eyes crinkle up as well. He laughs loudly and moves to clap Jimin on the back. Jimin mumbles an agreement and stumbles on the way out of the office to his first class, Hoseok’s laughter still ringing in the air.

“How was your first day?” Taehyung asks as he flops down beside Jimin, neck craning up to look at him as he flutters his eyelashes and smiles at Jimin.

“It was nice,” He hums in response, trying to keep his eyes firmly glued to the screen instead of the curve of Taehyung’s cheeks and the sparkle in his eyes. “Apparently Hoseok-hyung used to be part of the underground scene.”

Taehyung stops playing with the hem of Jimin’s sweats and blinks, once. “Does he know any rappers, can he help me join?” He asks. Jimin rolls his eyes and leans over to hit Taehyung on the back of his head. “Okay, okay I’m sorry,” Taehyung huffs and offers his hands for surrender.

“You’re ridiculous,” Jimin shakes his head as he clicks on the youtube video Hoseok sent him. Taehyung makes a disagreeing noise, but Jimin ignores him as the bass comes on in the video. He leans Taehyung to grab his glasses off the nightstand and slips them on. Taehyung plops his head on Jimin’s thigh and Jimin can tell without looking at him that Taehyung is glaring.

Five minutes later (and forty-six seconds) Taehyung begins to hoot loudly. Jimin pulls out an earbud to give him a look. Taehyung averts his gaze to his phone but there’s a small smirk spreading across his face.

“Jiminie,” Taehyung whines not even a second later. He leans up to take off Jimin’s glasses, “Pay attention to me.” Jimin can hear the pout in his voice without looking at him. “Jiminie I’m bored,” Taehyung begins to claw at his chest and Jimin can’t help but roll his eyes.

“What do you want me to do about it?” He asks nonchalantly. “I’m busy.”

“Urgh,” Taehyung shifts around and his head is pressing uncomfortably into the Jimin’s stomach. “I thought I was number one in your heart, Park Jimin.” Jimin looks him down and raises an eyebrow, but his cheeks are flushed and his heart has decided to become an Olympic gymnast once again. Taehyung’s feet are pounding against the mattress and he reaches over with cold hands to yank out Jimin’s earbuds. “Pay. Attention. To. Me.” Taehyung kicks the blanket off the bed to sit up and grab Jimin’s face in his hands.

“Why?” Jimin asks he sticks out his tongue and blows, spit flying off onto Taehyung’s face.

Taehyung wipes his face off with one hand and stares at Jimin. There’s a wicked glint in his eye and before Jimin can do anything Taehyung lifts up his shirt to rest his hands against his stomach. Jimin giggles uncontrollably as Taehyung’s hands dance across his chest, hair rising on his arms. There’s a grin spreading on Taehyung’s face and Jimin snorts again and then the grin breaks out completely. “You see this is what happens when you don’t pay attention to me, Jiminie-ah.”

Jimin attempts to swat Taehyung’s hands out of the way, but his stomach is convulsing and he takes a deep breath. “Stop it,” he hisses as he kicks Taehyung in the stomach. Taehyung doubles back and Jimin takes that as an opportunity. He wrestles Taehyung off the bed and pushes him onto the mattress below. Jimin plops down on Taehyung’s stomach and begins to tickle him instead. “You see this is what happens when you distract me from work.”

“Work?” Taehyung wheezes in between breath as his face twitches. “You call watching youtube videos work?” Taehyung grabs one of Jimin’s wrists and tries to kick him off of his stomach.

“It’s research,” Jimin defends himself as he continues to tickle Taehyung with one hand. Taehyung opens his mouth for a reply but his words are lost by a choked laugh.

“Okay truce!” Taehyung shouts. He’s squirming underneath Jimin and the sides of his face keeps on twitching and his left eyebrow has decided to take a life of its own. It’s the most unattractive thing Jimin has ever seen but his heart decides to disagree nonetheless. “Please Jimin?” Taehyung wheezes.

“Fine,” Jimin rolls off of Taehyung and gathers the blankets around him. “I want to go to sleep anyway.”

“Can I go to the dance studio with you tomorrow?” Taehyung asks after he’s settled next to Jimin and stolen his blanket.

“It’s not bring your kid to work day,” Jimin snorts as he rolls his eyes, snuggling deeper into the mattress. Taehyung hasn’t bothered to sleep on the bed after the first week, since he fell off nearly every day.

“Why are you so mean Park Jimin?” Taehyung sighs dramatically as he spreads his arms out. Taehyung turns on his side, and props up an arm so they’re both face to face.

“Goodnight,” Jimin whispers but Taehyung is already snoring. Jimin brings the blankets up to his chin, but his body is warm and he can feel himself burning up and floating away.

It’s the awkward time of year when the weather is nearly spring, but still winter. The snow is a disgusting shade of brown and it slushes around their feet and splashes on the bottom of Jimin’s jeans. He’s walking hand in hand with Taehyung (his palm is just as clammy and disgusting as the air around them) and he’s eighteen years, one hundred and twenty-seven days, eighteen hours, and twenty-three seconds old.

High school students are running and giggling throughout and Jimin opens the door with his free hand, only for a tall boy to come barreling into Taehyung. Their hands are split apart and Taehyung looks down to see the boy’s hands wrapped around his waist.

“Sorry,” the boy ducks under Taehyung’s arms and waves at them, “I’m coming!” He shouts to his friends as there’s a grin that spreads across his face and he starts sprinting at full speed. “Sorry,” He apologizes once more once he’s out the door and Taehyung waves back to him.

“What?” He asks when Jimin gives him a look. Taehyung shrugs before he reaches for Jimin’s hand once more. “He’s a cute kid.” Taehyung offers as they walk up the stairs. Jimin snorts as he shakes his head. “Cuter than you that’s for sure,” Taehyung jibes.

“You wound me,” Jimin places his hands over his heart and mimics getting slapped in the face. Taehyung kicks his shin as he opens the door to the karaoke room and Jimin jumps up as he clutches his leg. “You’re so mean to me,” He whines as he stumbles into the room.

“Who, me?” Yoongi calls up lazily from his phone. He has both legs thrown on top of the table and a notebook on the seat next to him. Jimin can barely see the top of his head because Yoongi is slowly sinking down into his seat. “Because I’m doing my job correctly if that’s the case.”

Jimin plops down in the chair across from Namjoon, who’s mechanically eating chips as his eyes are glued to the tv screen. Taehyung sits down next to Namjoon and puts his feet up on the table as well. “Careful hyung otherwise you’ll shrink.” Taehyung’s stolen the only bag of shrimp chips and he stuffs a handful into his face. Jimin leans over the table for one but Taehyung moves the bag out of his grasp, pouting.

“I’d still be taller than you,” Yoongi shoots back and he sits up, feet nearly knocking the soda on the table as he swings them back around. Taehyung shakes his head vigorously in approval as he takes yet another handful of the shrimp chips. “Get your feet off the table, you’re dripping water onto it.” Yoongi hits Taehyung’s grabs the soda bottle and begins to violently beat Taehyung’s legs with them.

“This hyung is so mean and short,” Taehyung says around a mouthful of shrimp chips, and purposefully swing his legs around so that some of the water is flung into Yoongi’s face, who promptly makes a very disgusted face, only he ends up hitting Namjoon instead. “Whoops?” he offers sheepishly when Namjoon looks up to see a pair of extremely dirty and wet boots sitting on top of his head.

Hoseok looks at Jimin and begins jumping up and down, snorting wildly. He runs by to give Taehyung a high-five, the smack resonates in the room, and resumes laughing on the ground. Taehyung begins to giggle too as Yoongi’s face drops and he scowls.

“Great, not another one,” Yoongi gestures to Taehyung who’s suddenly joined on the floor with Hoseok. He sighs as he brings his hands up to rub his temples. Namjoon pats him sympathetically but not before snickering at him. “Jimin he’s your friend get him to shut up.”

Jimin shrugs in response and decides to use this opportunity to grab the shrimp chips that Taehyung had so graciously abandoned. “He’s unstoppable,” He starts eating the chips and Yoongi is shaking his head before resting it on the table. Jimin hears him murmur something along the lines of “troublesome kids” and a loud groan.

The sound of Yoongi’s high note is still resonating in Jimin’s left ear as he walks out with Taehyung. Hoseok had left in the middle of their karaoke session because he has to cover Seokjin’s early morning shift at the bakery tomorrow. Taehyung had managed to convince Jimin to leave so they wouldn’t have to clean up and pay while Namjoon was in the bathroom and Yoongi was passionately singing his high A.

They’re both outside now, huddled closely together and waddling down the streets like penguins. Jimin’s knee bumps against Taehyung as they’re running down the street and giggling like the high school students they saw in the afternoon. “I think my ear is still ringing,” Jimin complains as he rubs his left ear.

Taehyung draws Jimin in with one of his arms so his head is resting against Taehyung’s chest. The position is awkward yet Jimin maintains it as they both continue to walk underneath the streetlights. “That’s the price for not paying the check and cleaning up.” Taehyung shivers as he buries his nose into Jimin’s hat.

“But why does it have to be me?” Jimin whines as he struggles to keep his body upright. “It should be you, you’re younger than I am.”

“Don’t hate,” Taehyung punches Jimin with his free arm. “You’re shorter than I am so it only makes sense.” Something warm blossoms across Jimin’s chest and there’s a pleasantly warm feeling spreading across his chest. He thinks its from the shot that Yoongi had practically shoved down his throat (“I want to see what his reaction is.” “Hyung, he’s still underage, I need my dance instructor!”) and not because he can hear the beating of Taehyung’s heart.

Jimin’s heart is thumping erratically and threatening to jump out of his ribcage for Taehyung to see at any moment. “You’re so mean to me,” Jimin complains as he wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist (to steady himself, not because it makes him feel fuzzy inside). “You should respect me more. I’m your hyung too.”

He looks down into Jimin’s eyes for a moment, considering his words before bursting out in laughter. “You’re so funny, Jimin-ah.” Taehyung leaves Jimin sputtering for air by cutting off his air supply. “This is nice,” Taehyung sighs as he looks up into the sky, most of the stars obscured by the city lights. Jimin brings his head up and he can see the puffs of air that leave his best friend’s mouth, even though it’s February. The orange glow of the streetlamps are reflected in Taehyung’s eyes and give his face a warm glow.

“Yeah, it is.” Jimin swallows the lump in his throat and inhales the sharp, cold air. He looks up to the sky and the stars are twinkling at him, in time to the beating of his heart.

Taehyung lets out a loud groan as he buries his head underneath his math textbook. “I hate math,” he complains to Hoseok’s stack of papers. “It’s so hard.”

“Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard if you actually paid attention in class,” Jimin retorts as he scrolls through Taehyung’s email. “There’s this one girl reminding you to text her about the project.” Jimin hums his the lines to Yoongi’s new song underneath his breath as he deletes some of the clutter in Taehyung’s inbox. “Someone else messaged you through a forum about the recent One Piece chapter?” Jimin squints at Taehyung who doesn’t look up from the table.

“Leave me alone so I can pretend I’m not an adult,” he whines as he stomps and kicks against the back of the desk. “I’m going to pretend that I don’t have any responsibilities.”

“If you leave any scuff marks Hoseok-hyung will make you clean the floor,” Jimin remarks dryly as he picks the book off of Taehyung’s head. He reaches over to smooth out the crumpled piece of loose leaf and places a pencil on top.

“Screw Hobi-hyung,” Taehyung mutters into the desk. “I’ll make you clean the floor for me.” Taehyung lifts his head up from the desk and there’s a long line of spit connected to the newly-formed puddle of drool. He pouts and widens his head and Jimin’s never seen anything so disgusting yet cute at the same time.

“You’re disgusting,” he says and pushes Taehyung’s head so he ends tripping over the leg of the desk and sprawled onto the floor. “Stop being so lazy and actually pay attention in class instead of texting me the entire time.”

“Class is so boring Jiminie,” Taehyung grumbles as he adjusts his hat. “It’s no fun when you aren’t in school with me.” He looks up at Jimin, and there’s spit smeared over his entire right cheek and his shirt is probably three days old at this point yet Jimin’s heart refuses to cooperate.

He plops down on the ground across from Taehyung and flicks his forehead. “Pay. Attention. In. Class.” He gets back up and into Hoseok’s cool spinny chair (that apparently Namjoon picked up in the streets one day, but it’s comfy and Jimin doesn’t exactly care).

“Jiminie is so mean to me,” Taehyung whines as he lays down against the floor. “Oh, what could I have ever done in my past life to deserve this?” Taehyung blows his bangs out of the way, they’ve been recently dyed orange and Jimin still expects to see bright neon pink every time he looks at him, and kicks his legs against the floor.

Jimin rolls over so he’s lying perpendicular to his friend. “You probably sold your soul to the devil because you were an occult dweeb.” Jimin replies as Taehyung’s stomach rises.

“Hey,” Taehyung whispers as he grabs Jimin’s hand. Taehyung peels his back off the floor and Jimin sits up, in his lap. “I really wish you were in college with me, it’s not the same without you.” Taehyung says while his eyes are drilling holes into Jimin’s.

“Yeah, so do I.” His voice cracks and Jimin squeezes his eyes shut when they start to prickle.

Jimin is lying in bed with Taehyung lying by his side and their legs are both intertwined and Jimin is running his finger down Taehyung’s inner arm. The seconds on his counter are ticking away as fast as his heart is beating and Jimin can’t help but frown.

“Hey,” he says and Taehyung opens his eyes to peer up at him. “You won’t forget me right?”

“What do you mean forget you?” Taehyung asks as he props himself with arm and interlaces their hands together.

“When this stops,” Jimin taps at Taehyung’s wrist and his heart feels heavy inside his chest but he continues on, “Promise you won’t forget about me, no matter how much you love them.”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Taehyung smiles at Jimin and it’s so bright it hurts. “You’re always going to be the most important to me, I promise, Jimin.”

Yoongi is playing some obnoxiously loud music through the computer speakers as Jimin lies against the mirror and wipes the sweat forming on his forehead. He’s eighteen years, one hundred and seventy-eight days, sixteen hours, and thirty-six seconds old. Yoongi shuts off the music to which Namjoon groans from his lap. “So when are you going to tell him?” He asks.

“Tell who what hyung?” Jimin replies groggily as his eyelids threaten to drop. The muscles in his legs are still sore from the new choreography for the dance he and Hoseok had been preparing as well as his dance class earlier in the day.

"Your firstborn son,” Yoongi snaps and Jimin can hear his eye roll from here. “I mean Kim fucking Taehyung who else would I mean it’s not like you have any other friends besides us and Seokjin-hyung.”

“There’s Hyosang…” Jimin offers meekly as he trails off and Yoongi bores his eyes into Jimin’s. Jimin grins cheekily at the older boy. Yoongi closes his eyes and visibly counts to ten and he accidentally grips Namjoon’s hair a bit too tightly as he runs his fingers through them.

“What the hell?” Namjoon grumbles as he jerks upright from Yoongi’s lap. He smooths out his hair before lying back down. If Jimin tries hard enough he can see the vein forming on Yoongi’s left temple.

“I’m surrounded by idiots.” Yoongi’s eyes widen in horror as he stares at Jimin. “I live with Namjoon and Hoseok, I live with idiots.”

Hoseok snorts as he looks up from his phone. “Hyung, you’re so hurtful you’ve been living with us for three years.”

“Four,” Namjoon corrects lazily.

“I need to take a vacation.” Yoongi moans as he narrows his eyes, like he’s suddenly discovered that he did, indeed, share an apartment with Namjoon and Hoseok. “Oh my god, Jimin, stop avoiding the question.” Yoongi snaps after a second. Jimin shies away and Hoseok lets out a loud laugh, filling the room.

Namjoon gets up from Yoongi’s lap and squats down next to Jimin. “You know what he means,” He says as he looks Jimin into the eye. The atmosphere in the room is turning thick and heavy and Jimin is breathing but the oxygen refuses to go to his lungs. “How long do you think you can keep this a secret for?”

Forever, Jimin hopes as he folds up his legs and brings his knees into his chest. He feels small, small like the way he felt when his counter stopped and he didn’t have a soulmate. It’s the same way he felt like he was shrinking into nothingness as he stood in the kitchen as his parents spoke to him for the very last time.

“Jimin,” Yoongi sighs exasperatedly and Jimin curls up even more. Jimin thinks that if he turns small enough maybe he can avoid Yoongi’s disappointed gaze. Namjoon shifts from his feet onto the floor and Jimin is aware of every breath they take. “It can’t last forever,” Yoongi’s eyes are like black and lackluster as they meet his.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t pretend it won’t,” Jimin retorts as he jerks his head forcefully. He tilts his chin up and Yoongi just shakes his head while Namjoon makes a clicking sort of noise besides him. “I’ll deal with it when it happens.”

Hoseok gets up from his seat, he’s been unusually silent since the start of the conversation, and glares at Namjoon who hurriedly scoots away and then at Yoongi. Yoongi offers a shrug as he spins around in the chair. Hoseok settles down next to Jimin and wraps his arms around him. It’s warm and comforting and Jimin instinctively shifts into his embrace. “Jimin we just don’t want to see you get upset.”

“Who says it has to happen, hyung?” Jimin asks as he rests his head against Hoseok’s chest. His heartbeat is calm and steady and Jimin takes a deep breath. Hoseok smells like sweat and frankly he reeks to the point it nauseating, yet there’s an underlying scent of some drug store deodorant and tangerines. His arms are loose around Jimin’s chest whereas Taehyung’s would be squeezing the air out of his lungs.

“You know it’s inevitable.” Yoongi’s voice is sharp and harsh and it grates against Jimin’s ears in an eerily familiar way. “So why are you-” Yoongi’s voice is cut off by Namjoon’s kick to his shin. Hoseok is rubbing circles into the back of Jimin’s chest as he glares at Yoongi.

“Jimin-ah,” Hoseok says softly and he looks down at him. Jimin looks up and Hoseok uses his other hand to take off his snapback (the one Taehyung gave him for his birthday) and brushes his bangs out of the way. “If you ignore the problem now it doesn’t mean it’ll go away. It’s just going to hurt more when it comes.”

He clenches his fist at his waist and grits his teeth. “Don’t do this to me, hyung.” Jimin pleads as he tugs on Hoseok’s shirt. He looks up into his eyes and his heartbeat is stuttering all over the place, the same way he feels like doing whenever he’s with Taehyung. “I don’t want to do this.”

The elder bites his lip as he looks at Yoongi and Namjoon imploringly. “We want to help you, Jimin.” Namjoon speaks for Hoseok. “We’re just trying to lessen the pain before it comes.”

“If you wanted to help me you wouldn’t ask me to do that,” Jimin sits up and pushes Hoseok’s arms away. His blood is starting to boil and this time he clenches his fist until his nails are digging into the palm of his hands. “You guys aren’t helping me.”

“Please, Jimin." Hoseok reaches for his hand but Jimin swats it away. The dancer looks at him sadly before taking his hand again and Jimin lets him take it this time because there’s something about the urgency in his voice he forgets his anger for a moment. “Just promise us you’ll come to us when it does happen,” Hoseok nearly whispers.

Jimin is staring at his hand intertwined with Hoseok’s and he looks up to see his eyes glistening. He looks over to Yoongi and Namjoon, Yoongi with a sour expression on his face and Namjoon who’s twiddling with his thumbs. There’s shame rising up into Jimin’s chest, along with the subsided anger and the pain he had felt early. His throat is dry and parched when he opens up his mouth and his lips are quivering, “Yeah, I promise.”

When Jimin gets home the first thing he hears is a loud screech of “Park Jiminie!” and the first thing he sees is Taehyung rushing towards him at a hundred kilometers per hour. So naturally, he drops his bag in fright and braces himself against the apartment door before Taehyung does come to a screeching halt, not before nearly slipping on his socks, and wraps his arms around Jimin’s waist and promptly plants his face there as well.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Jimin asks hesitantly when it’s been three minutes later and Taehyung still hasn’t come back up for air. He can feel him vibrating with a ridiculous amount of energy and Jimin brings his hands to Taehyung’s head to hold him still.

“Guess what happened today?” Taehyung beams when he does come back up, a minute later. There’s a huge grin on his face that contrasts with the shirt Jimin is pretty sure hasn’t been washed in two weeks. Jimin bends down to pick his bag up and then walks into the kitchen and sets it on the table. “So guess.” Taehyung tells him once more when he’s seated in the chair opposite to him.

“I don’t know you got a pet fish?” Jimin says as he walks over to the kitchen counter to get a glass of water. He’s seated back at the table and Taehyung is still thrumming with happiness. “A rabbit?” Jimin asks and Taehyung shakes his head as he bounces up and down in his seat. “A cat? A dog?”

“Even better,” Taehyung squeals. He leans over the table and holds up his left wrist for Jimin to see. ‘Look!” He exclaims proudly. Jimin’s stomach is mimicking that familiar feeling when first going down on a rollercoaster, except this is not nearly as exciting or fun as it would be if he were actually on one.

He takes Taehyung’s wrist with his right hand and drags the fingers of his left hand down his forearms. The black numbers wink at him in the corner of his eye, much like they did when his own counter stop. Jimin doesn’t breath when his finger halts at the very first zero.

“Oh,” He falters. The zero is burning its way into his index finger and his own wrist gets that familiar itching feeling. Jimin runs his finger back and forth across the motionless numbers and the name Jeon Jungkook scrawled in handwriting that certainly doesn’t like like Taehyung’s below. When he reaches the ‘k’ he hisses and draws his finger away in pain. “That’s great,” He smiles hesitantly and he hopes Taehyung doesn’t see through his translucent act.

“It is, isn’t it?” Taehyung exclaims as he wraps both his arms around Jimin to bury him into another hug. “I met him outside of the dance studio, he was thinking about signing up for lessons,” Taehyung informs Jimin’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s wonderful.” Jimin brings his arms up slowly to Taehyung’s back. His wrist is itching and he scratches lightly at the black numbers. There’s a distinctive emptiness on his skin below the counter where a name would have been. “I’m happy for you,” He assures Taehyung and there’s the teensy tiny corner of his heart who whispers, no you’re not. Jimin shuts his eyes and stomps out that part of his heart so his words are completely genuine.

He’s eighteen years, one hundred and eighty-nine days, three hours, and thirty-four seconds old when the first splinter in his heart forms.

It’s the first day of summer break, for the small children like Jungkook, and the sun is too bright in Jimin’s eyes and he feels disgusting but Taehyung insists on holding his hand on the way to the amusement park.

“Let go of me,” Jimin grumbles as he attempts to shake Taehyung’s iron grip off his hand. His snapback is pulled down low over his eyes because he spent last night kaokaotalking to his hyungs to which Yoongi told him to shut up and stop being stupid and Seokjin cheerfully reminded him to put on sunscreen because the forecast said it was going to be sunny the next day.

In retort, Taehyung tightens his grip and Jimin groans as he can feel the sweat pooling between their fingers. “Don’t you like me?” Taehyung pouts as he looks up towards Jimin and his nose is beginning to turn a slight pink and it clashes with the fiery-orange hair. Maybe Seokjin should have came and brought Hyosang along to supervise this field trip.

“No,” Jimin shoves Taehyung with his hip into the nearby light pole. He makes an affronted face and kicks Jimin’s ankle. “You’re too ugly for me to like.” Jimin refutes as he struggles once more to release his hand. “Can you let go?” He stops in the middle of the street hands come to a halt.

Taehyung is absently rubbing at his hip with his free hand and blinks at Jimin. “Uh, no.” Using his other hand to give him a better grip, Taehyung begins to drag Jimin down the street and he smiles meekly and dips his head at the ahjussis. “Come on, we’re going to be late.” Taehyung whines like a petulant small child and Jimin shakes his head and ignores the fluttering in his chest.

Outside of the entrance to the zoo a tall, dark-haired boy stands by the ticket booth, with both his hands in his pockets, and he towers over the children with rainbow-colored clothes and brighter smiles. He’s standing there, looking around awkwardly, and Jimin can spot the baby fat that’s still in his cheeks. His eyes dart around and when they land on Taehyung and his back slackens and a smile spreads across his face.

Jimin’s hand is empty and devoid of another sweaty palm when Taehyung barrels into the other boy. He pauses in mid-step as Taehyung squeals, “Jungkookie!” and hugs the breath out of him. “This is the Jimin I was telling you about,” He waves wildly and nearly knocks off Jimin’s snapback.

“He’s shorter in real life,” Jungkook remarks and Jimin can feel his heart being squeezed by an invisible hand (is it Jungkook’s or Taehyung’s?). “Do I actually need to call him hyung?” He tilts up his chin defiantly and in that split second Jimin knows that he’s transparent as it can get. Jimin looks down to Jungkook’s wrist (counter stopped and the name Taehyung tattooed underneath) and he squeezes his eyes shut and forces the empty feeling on his wrist to go away.

“Of course you do,” Jimin laughs, it's awkward and grating on his ears, and leans over to mess up Jungkook’s hair and he immediately ducks out of Jimin’s grasp. A smile is spreading across Taehyung’s face, and if Jimin weren’t squinting he’d probably be blinded by the sheer brightness. He reaches for Jimin’s wrist and his heart is threatening to jump out of his ribcage, and pulls him along.

Halfway through the day, not date, Jimin ducks into the bathroom as Taehyung orders food and Jungkook is sitting at the table when his heart is about to burst. He kicks the door to the bathroom stall as and the frustration is welling inside of him and slaps his forehead repeatedly because he is so, so, so stupid.

Turning on the faucet, Jimin splashes water on his face and he’s reminded of the black zeros and the absence of a name on his left wrist. The blink mockingly at him and Jimin pulls at his hair. Someone’s arms are enveloping him in a hug and it takes a second for Jimin to realize that it’s Taehyung.

“Sorry,” He apologizes as his arms drop down at his side. Sorry for being so selfish, he wants to scream. In the mirror he can see Taehyung’s chin resting comfortably on his shoulder and his arms wrapped around his stomach and the picture it paints is too much for his stomach to handle.

“It’s okay,” Taehyung whispers back into his ear as they begin to sway back and forth. “I’m sorry I asked you to come.” Jimin feels like crying, or maybe running to Hoseok-hyung and Seokjin-hyung. Taehyung presses his nose into the side of Jimin’s neck and the selfish part of him wants this moment to last forever.

“Don’t be ridiculous Tae,” He snorts, and its fake just like the way he pretends to be completely happy for Taehyung and Jungkook. Jimin tries to stamp out that thought in his mind as he rests his arms over Taehyung’s. “Jungkook’s nice, I like him,” He insists and it’s not a complete lie, just almost true. (He just doesn’t like the way Jungkook’s wrist has Taehyung’s name inscribed into his wrist).

At this Taehyung beams and squeezes Jimin’s stomach a bit harder. “I was worried you two wouldn’t like each other.” He breathes out a sigh of relief and Jimin lets out a hollow laugh because what kind of friend wishes that their friend didn’t have a soulmate? “You’re too important for me to lose, I’m never going to give you up, Park Jimin, not for anyone.”

The rest of the day Jimin smiles brightly and laughs a bit too loudly (it’s only completely genuine when a monkey spits on Jungkook, and then Taehyung) but it’s worth to see his best friend’s face being lit up. However, Jimin’s heart betrays him when a shy, hesitant smile spreads until it’s a full blown one as Taehyung reaches for Junkook’s hand. It hurts even more when Taehyung waves absently at the air before grabbing his. Jimin is eighteen years, two hundred and twenty-one, thirteen minutes, and forty-seven seconds when he realizes this is only the start of a long heartbreak.

Seokjin ruffles the top of Jimin’s head as he places a bowl in front of him and Jimin can smell his favorite noodles placed in front of him. “Isn’t this a bakery, not a noodle shop?” He asks the patterns on the table. Jimin’s nose is beginning to feel sore from being squashed but the dots and dashes and swirls have been extremely interesting for the past half hour.

“Hyosang had leftovers when he came over,” Seokjin replies as he sits down in the chair opposite of Jimin and kicks his ankle until he looks up. Jimin glances outside to the window and he

“Am I your dog now?” Jimin deadpans as he resists the urge to faceplant into the table once more. “I see how much you truly value me now.” Jimin sighs as he stares out the window and watches the pedestrians walking down the street.

“Be grateful, that’s probably the freshest meal you’ve had in half a year,” Seokjin miffs as he takes Jimin’s chopsticks to take a bite.

Jimin pouts at Seokjin and he relents, giving him his noodles back. Jimin takes another bite, but not before sighing once more. “It’s not fair,” He laments to Seokjin as he lays his right temple against the table, watching the curls of steam rise from the bowl. “Why couldn’t I be like everyone else?”

“Not all soulmates are happy together,” Seokjin twists Jimin’s hair around his finger. “Just because you have each other’s names tattooed on each other’s wrists doesn’t mean that you’ll end up in a happy relationship.”

“I know,” Jimin whines petulantly. He sighs again, it’s the tenth time in a minute. “You and Hyosang are happy together,” He remarks darkly as he traces the patterns of the ceramic bowl. “I’m sorry,” He apologizes before Seokjin can say anything.

Seokjin’s hand moves over to the base of Jimin’s neck and begins to rub circles. “Hey,” he mutters, “I know you think you need his love to be happy.” Jimin feels guilty for being so greedy and selfish and stupid. “But just so you know, you don’t need someone’s love to be happy.”

“Yeah, sorry hyung,” Jimin rolls his head over and Seokjin’s eyebrows are narrowed as he looks down at him with a slight frown. “I know,” His mouth blabbers another excuse (why is he so needy?), “It’s so difficult when he’s around me all the time. I can’t stop thinking about him and about him and Jungkook and I know I should be happy because he’s happy but I’m here instead. This sucks.”

“Do you really dislike me that much?” Seokjin asks as he smiles hesitantly. Jimin affirms his statement with a nod. “I know you think that you need Taehyung’s love to be happy, but just remember he’s one person in seven billion. And if you think it’s really meant to be, Well,” Seokjin smiles at softly at him, “Then all you need to do is wait.”

Jimin turns his head and he blinks back his tears as Seokjin squeezes his shoulder tightly.

part one | part two | part three