(Untitled)

[ieuleron]

How would one be likely to respond to the following scenario: You realize someone you've known for years as a friend has a crush on you.
Part of what lets me get along with others as well as I do is that I spend a lot of time observing and thinking about how people react to things in their life. A corollary of this is that I spend time thinking

Comments

[rabbitucker]

[You say:]
The scenario I started this post with is one I find myself on the wrong side of. I'm the one with the crush.

Darren! This is...It's just so sudden!

[And also:]
(Don't worry, it isn't one of you kind folks.)...oh

[rabbitucker]

Also this.

[ieuleron]

heh.

[ieuleron]

Well, mostly I was looking for some kinda check... that it might be a totally creepy scenario to most, but I had missed the idea entirely, was not outside the range of possible. It would be easy to imagine my internal responses being out of sync with reality

[laeryken]

You can go for it, or go for it "lite".

The lite version: "let's hang out and get coffee sometime. i really enjoy talking with you, and think it would be fun."

go for it version: "i would like to get to know you better. how's dinner?"

[ieuleron]

The "go for it" is pretty much my plan. Mostly I don't want to scare her away. Introducing the topic with, "hey, I've had a crush on you for a few years..." would put too much pressure on her.

Also, a second vote for, "No, you're not crazy".

[laeryken]

You're not crazy at all.

Also, rather than leading with "i've had a crush on you", focus on getting time alone together!

[litch]

send her flowers

[ieuleron]

That is definitely in the vaguely developing plans.

[beg_jon13]

Definitely not crazy and I second the light-touch approach. Maybe put the ball in her court; something along the lines of, "Hey I'd like to get to know you better one on one, let me know a time that works for you and we'll [grab coffee/tea/a drink/take a walk/play some pool/et al]."

I know how you feel, man. I've had a lot of crushes in my day, some of them have distracted me from taking a chance on somebody I knew was into me, but I've never, NEVER not been wise to it when somebody is considering me. Oh, and other feedback/unsolicited advice based on the fact that when I was young I passed up opportunities to explore relationships with women interested in me because I was so hung up on somebody in particular: Unless you've made plans with her and are committed to seeing where things go, don't let a crush distract you from what else is out there.

Also, in matters of the heart I've come to believe this song is especially relevant.

[ieuleron]

Oh, I know not to limit myself for some vague possible future

[ieuleron]

awesome song. took me a couple listenings to get the lyrics though.

[beg_jon13]

I know, right! I kind of feel like I finally beat the odds with Chrissy though.