Don't Call me Peanut
I didn't know she was so brittle. So fragile. She hardly looks the type to let a few delicate words bruise, batter and break her. They are, afterall, only words. Sticks and stones would be one thing, but words? Looking over her now, i couldn't believe my eyes. Who was this person? Who took the Maggie i knew away from me? Who took that strong, smart and confident woman away, and left this vulnerable little girl here to cower in a dirty coffee shop booth?
"You know you can do better than him. He didn't deserve to be with someone as wonderful as you to begin with."
Nothing. She just sat there with her knees tucked up to her chest. Her arms holding them close with her face pushing down, hidden. An ostrich couldn't have done a better job of hiding its head.
I stirred my coffee slowly. I tore the sweet n low packet into bits. My eyes moved from her to the window as a bike messenger went speeding by.
"Really i think you should be happy. Now you can find someone new, someone that can make you happy. Cause, afterall, i don't think you were ever... happy."
She remained motionless. My words had no effect on her. My words could never put her in this state, what made his so much more different? so much stronger?
I sat for a few moments. Thoughts of cliches and meaningless phrases were all my brain could grasp. There was no real insight i could offer her. There was nothing i could do to change the past. Would any phrase or statement give her the power to turn back the clock? Would a magical wave of utterances heal her wounds? No, but the silence alone was hurting me. Watching this lame animal before me was causing my own sickness now. This was not my friend. This was not the girl i knew or the woman i respected.
I needed to get away from her sight for a moment. I know it sounds harsh or self-centered, but i couldn't look at her any longer. I could deal with almost anyone being in her state, just not her.
I stood and began walking to the bathroom. As i passed by the booths i heard snippets of conversation: "so then i told her that i would just quit if she didn't let me have the full hour lunchbreak i was promised"; "Bradley, can you put momma on the phone? She doesn't want to talk to me? Ok, you tell her that the cheating pig won't be home tonight and she will know where to find him"; "I swear sometimes... You are happy to be miserable aren't you Edward?"
A waitress carrying two plates walked pass me. Her uniform was dirty and wrinkled. A cigarette, half smoked, lied limply in her mouth. The wrinkled lines on her face told the stories of a thousand sleepless nights. This was the sort of woman i could see curled up in a ball. A woman that could be broken by words. This woman was no Maggie. The girl in the booth that i had just left was no Maggie. Where Maggie was, i didn't know, but she would never have let words get the better of her.
"You know you can do better than him. He didn't deserve to be with someone as wonderful as you to begin with."
Nothing. She just sat there with her knees tucked up to her chest. Her arms holding them close with her face pushing down, hidden. An ostrich couldn't have done a better job of hiding its head.
I stirred my coffee slowly. I tore the sweet n low packet into bits. My eyes moved from her to the window as a bike messenger went speeding by.
"Really i think you should be happy. Now you can find someone new, someone that can make you happy. Cause, afterall, i don't think you were ever... happy."
She remained motionless. My words had no effect on her. My words could never put her in this state, what made his so much more different? so much stronger?
I sat for a few moments. Thoughts of cliches and meaningless phrases were all my brain could grasp. There was no real insight i could offer her. There was nothing i could do to change the past. Would any phrase or statement give her the power to turn back the clock? Would a magical wave of utterances heal her wounds? No, but the silence alone was hurting me. Watching this lame animal before me was causing my own sickness now. This was not my friend. This was not the girl i knew or the woman i respected.
I needed to get away from her sight for a moment. I know it sounds harsh or self-centered, but i couldn't look at her any longer. I could deal with almost anyone being in her state, just not her.
I stood and began walking to the bathroom. As i passed by the booths i heard snippets of conversation: "so then i told her that i would just quit if she didn't let me have the full hour lunchbreak i was promised"; "Bradley, can you put momma on the phone? She doesn't want to talk to me? Ok, you tell her that the cheating pig won't be home tonight and she will know where to find him"; "I swear sometimes... You are happy to be miserable aren't you Edward?"
A waitress carrying two plates walked pass me. Her uniform was dirty and wrinkled. A cigarette, half smoked, lied limply in her mouth. The wrinkled lines on her face told the stories of a thousand sleepless nights. This was the sort of woman i could see curled up in a ball. A woman that could be broken by words. This woman was no Maggie. The girl in the booth that i had just left was no Maggie. Where Maggie was, i didn't know, but she would never have let words get the better of her.