Tammy Nominations
I know the coming weeks are going to contain many hard decisions for you all, which is why I'm taking it on myself to simplify your voting in the male visual sleaze categories. You don't have to thank me; it's a public service.
...what do you mean, who am I? I'm-- ...you know what, why don't you look behind the cut and find out.
1. I am, quite obviously, the man with the Sexiest Hair you will ever meet. Photographic proof? But of course!
2. I am Manscaped to an exacting level that one simply doesn't see on the Continent or in the colonies. I would provide photographic proof, but all such pictures have been, in fact, outlawed in 32 countries at last count for making young women spontaneously burst into flame.
3. As for my ass... abbytude can attest that I am a most remarkable ass. That am, in fact, an Ass of Doom, with the posterior to match:
4. Best Kept Beard: Allow me to introduce Caitlin M-- oh. Oh, not that kind of beard. I see. Well, I have very rarely covered up my nigh-perfect bone structure with facial hair, so, on this category, I may understand if you vote for somebody else.
5. Regarding the Best Package award, I again am forced to quote the legal statutes prohibiting distribution of photos of my fully nude anatomy. That said, those of you inclined can appreciate a snugly-worn pair of jeans as it suits you:
6. I am also perfectly eligible for Hottest Geek:
7. Then of course there's the You Make Skinny Sexy category. Frankly I'd describe myself as "slender" rather than skinny, but that's a matter of semantics.
(We fancy this one as the 'slender, desert-dwelling, religious ascetic' type of sexy.)
8. I'm a Mature Hottie. Do you know many other several-thousand-year-old entities who still look this good?
Didn't think so.
9. I am also a Choice Young Stud. ...what do you mean, contradiction? There's no bloody contradiction.
Leather jacket. Come on, that's Choice Young Stud material.
So's a guitar.
10. Historical Hot Stuff-- again, I can totally claim this. Do you want your sexy Edwardian? Victorian? Medieval? Renaissance? I'm your man. And I look excellent in tights.
Bloody Shakespeare wrote about me, for God's sake.
11. There should be no doubt that I qualify for the I Wanna See You Naked Award, but, again, let pictures speak what my humble words cannot:
12. And now for Best Dresser. Vote as your conscience bids you, but... really now:
13. As for my perfect blue Eyes...
14. My fabulous Best Smile:
Admit it, I'm bloody cute.
15. You want Personal Style? Got it in gobs. Gobs, I say.
16. Abs of Steel
17. Overall Most Gorgeous-- I SHOULD THINK YOU HAVE THE PICTURE ALREADY. ...no pun intended.
Oh, and if you want to vote me for any of the other categories, by all means, my dears. Just remember-- it's Robin Goodfellow you want, and ifwebefriends you should be nominating.
Ta!
crossposted to the_tammyawards
...what do you mean, who am I? I'm-- ...you know what, why don't you look behind the cut and find out.
1. I am, quite obviously, the man with the Sexiest Hair you will ever meet. Photographic proof? But of course!
2. I am Manscaped to an exacting level that one simply doesn't see on the Continent or in the colonies. I would provide photographic proof, but all such pictures have been, in fact, outlawed in 32 countries at last count for making young women spontaneously burst into flame.
3. As for my ass... abbytude can attest that I am a most remarkable ass. That am, in fact, an Ass of Doom, with the posterior to match:
4. Best Kept Beard: Allow me to introduce Caitlin M-- oh. Oh, not that kind of beard. I see. Well, I have very rarely covered up my nigh-perfect bone structure with facial hair, so, on this category, I may understand if you vote for somebody else.
5. Regarding the Best Package award, I again am forced to quote the legal statutes prohibiting distribution of photos of my fully nude anatomy. That said, those of you inclined can appreciate a snugly-worn pair of jeans as it suits you:
6. I am also perfectly eligible for Hottest Geek:
7. Then of course there's the You Make Skinny Sexy category. Frankly I'd describe myself as "slender" rather than skinny, but that's a matter of semantics.
(We fancy this one as the 'slender, desert-dwelling, religious ascetic' type of sexy.)
8. I'm a Mature Hottie. Do you know many other several-thousand-year-old entities who still look this good?
Didn't think so.
9. I am also a Choice Young Stud. ...what do you mean, contradiction? There's no bloody contradiction.
Leather jacket. Come on, that's Choice Young Stud material.
So's a guitar.
10. Historical Hot Stuff-- again, I can totally claim this. Do you want your sexy Edwardian? Victorian? Medieval? Renaissance? I'm your man. And I look excellent in tights.
Bloody Shakespeare wrote about me, for God's sake.
11. There should be no doubt that I qualify for the I Wanna See You Naked Award, but, again, let pictures speak what my humble words cannot:
12. And now for Best Dresser. Vote as your conscience bids you, but... really now:
13. As for my perfect blue Eyes...
14. My fabulous Best Smile:
Admit it, I'm bloody cute.
15. You want Personal Style? Got it in gobs. Gobs, I say.
16. Abs of Steel
17. Overall Most Gorgeous-- I SHOULD THINK YOU HAVE THE PICTURE ALREADY. ...no pun intended.
Oh, and if you want to vote me for any of the other categories, by all means, my dears. Just remember-- it's Robin Goodfellow you want, and ifwebefriends you should be nominating.
Ta!
crossposted to the_tammyawards