Little help

[ignoramus]

I'm writing an epic poem, and I was wondering if I could get feedback. That is, should I attempt to record an album based on it? Is it any good? Is it interesting

Comments

[princessdulla]

I like it. I would definitely work on your meter in some of the stanzas, as epic poems are generally characterized by how lyrical they are. Sometimes I felt like words where shoved in conveniently, and got the message across, but broke my stride in the poem. You need to have a sort of cadence... and really, that cadence will lend itself artistically to an underlying insanity... especially if you intentionally screw with it at times.

Let me see it when you're done with it. :)

[ignoramus]

Thank you, Kathryn, for bowing in to my guilt trip and analyzing the poem.

You're completely right about the poem lacking cadence. Honestly, I just try to make each line fit on my notebook's width. You won't get good meter out of that.

I will finish the poem, but I probably won't edit it. It was a method of shaking out more detail and good lines for my songs that will be based on the story. I actually researched a little, then wrote out a rough outline of the story before I started the poem, so I'm trying to decide whether or not the concept album is the next carnation. I guess I should have said all this to preface the poem in the first place, but I'm glad you like it, and thanks for your honest, accurate critique. I was a little afraid someone would read it and go, "Yay!"

[princessdulla]

Haha. Yeah, I waited until I had the time to actually read through it and respond to it with a bit of thought... no guilt trip was necessary. ;)

I think it would be a great concept for an album, and there is quite a bit of song material there, in my opinion. Best of luck!