[fic] honooko: Variations: Interlude II - Izumi
Entry: Variations Arc
Title: Interlude II - Izumi
Author: honooko
Rating: R
Warning: Spoilers for Izumi, character death, ANGST!!!
Summary: In this world, she had no children.
10 years earlier...
At last. At last, Izumi Curtis was pregnant. She and her beloved husband Seig had been trying to have children for the past 7 years of their marriage. Seig had told her, gently, that he thought it was time they stopped wishing for the impossible, but she insisted that the next time, it would work.
She would be a mother, if it was the last thing she did, damnit.
And today, the doctor had told her what she’s barely hoped to hear: she was going to have a baby. Her very own Baby Curtis, to raise and love. She would teach her child alchemy and how to flip someone twice its weight; discipline for the mind and body. She would show it how to cook for a loved one, how to read and write, and everything it could possibly want or need.
And somewhere, deep down, she knew: this would be her first and last child.
~
Seig wanted to name the baby something classic, like Henry or Clark. Izumi wanted a more meaningful choice, like Toki or Yuki. They’d been at an impasse for weeks now, but that was fine. They still had four months, after all.
She didn’t tell Seig she’d been losing weight. It didn’t seem important; they had other things to worry about. She was doing nothing wrong, and everything was fine. There was nothing to worry about.
And even though today she’d bled a little, she knew she was fine. She’d just over-worked herself, that’s all. Nothing serious.
The baby was fine.
~
Izumi had never seen such a tiny corpse.
The child (a boy) fit in the crook of one arm like he’d been born to rest there. But of course, he hadn’t. He hadn’t been born; he’d been killed, by her. It was all her fault. She couldn’t stop crying, and the only words she could say were, “I’m sorry,” and “I love you.” Over and over, she repeated them like a mantra of crushing pain.
Her boy. Her tiny, helpless, dead little boy.
It was all so utterly wrong.
But Izumi had one more chance to make things right again.
~
She subconsciously shielded the body of her infant from the rain that night. It was silly, but it made her feel better. She laid her son down on the stone, and slowly drew in the sigils needed. It took hours, and her knees were screaming in agony. Her mind was too.
She knew it was wrong. She knew it was forbidden. But it just didn’t seem to matter anymore, because it was her baby, her child, her son. She had failed him, and she needed to give him the chance as life that she took from him. She had a debt to repay, and no ‘taboo’ was going to take that away from her.
Izumi clapped her hands to the wet stone, and saw the flash. She knew, right then, what she had done. And she knew what it was going to cost her in the end.
She knew she couldn’t bring him back.
But she could still try.
~
Three days after the failed transmutation of the son she miscarried, Izumi Curtis committed suicide. The funeral was small and quiet; her husband and some friends from town were still shaken from the rapid downfall of events. Izumi had seemed so strong to them that it seemed impossible that she could be dead.
But she was.
Even after losing her son; even after losing half her internal organs, there had still been hope for her. She could have lived on with Seig, and been a mother to children that had none. She still had choices.
Izumi had asked Seig to let her die.
She told him what she had done to their child, and herself. She told him that she had seen Hell, and knew that somehow, that’s where their baby was. She told him that she loved him, but her child needed her.
He didn’t stop her. He couldn’t have even if he tried.
He had them buried together.
YUKI CURTIS
BELOVED SON
MOTHER IS WITH YOU
and
IZUMI CURTIS
BELOVED WIFE
SHE DIED A MOTHER
Seig Curtis never remarried.
Title: Interlude II - Izumi
Author: honooko
Rating: R
Warning: Spoilers for Izumi, character death, ANGST!!!
Summary: In this world, she had no children.
10 years earlier...
At last. At last, Izumi Curtis was pregnant. She and her beloved husband Seig had been trying to have children for the past 7 years of their marriage. Seig had told her, gently, that he thought it was time they stopped wishing for the impossible, but she insisted that the next time, it would work.
She would be a mother, if it was the last thing she did, damnit.
And today, the doctor had told her what she’s barely hoped to hear: she was going to have a baby. Her very own Baby Curtis, to raise and love. She would teach her child alchemy and how to flip someone twice its weight; discipline for the mind and body. She would show it how to cook for a loved one, how to read and write, and everything it could possibly want or need.
And somewhere, deep down, she knew: this would be her first and last child.
~
Seig wanted to name the baby something classic, like Henry or Clark. Izumi wanted a more meaningful choice, like Toki or Yuki. They’d been at an impasse for weeks now, but that was fine. They still had four months, after all.
She didn’t tell Seig she’d been losing weight. It didn’t seem important; they had other things to worry about. She was doing nothing wrong, and everything was fine. There was nothing to worry about.
And even though today she’d bled a little, she knew she was fine. She’d just over-worked herself, that’s all. Nothing serious.
The baby was fine.
~
Izumi had never seen such a tiny corpse.
The child (a boy) fit in the crook of one arm like he’d been born to rest there. But of course, he hadn’t. He hadn’t been born; he’d been killed, by her. It was all her fault. She couldn’t stop crying, and the only words she could say were, “I’m sorry,” and “I love you.” Over and over, she repeated them like a mantra of crushing pain.
Her boy. Her tiny, helpless, dead little boy.
It was all so utterly wrong.
But Izumi had one more chance to make things right again.
~
She subconsciously shielded the body of her infant from the rain that night. It was silly, but it made her feel better. She laid her son down on the stone, and slowly drew in the sigils needed. It took hours, and her knees were screaming in agony. Her mind was too.
She knew it was wrong. She knew it was forbidden. But it just didn’t seem to matter anymore, because it was her baby, her child, her son. She had failed him, and she needed to give him the chance as life that she took from him. She had a debt to repay, and no ‘taboo’ was going to take that away from her.
Izumi clapped her hands to the wet stone, and saw the flash. She knew, right then, what she had done. And she knew what it was going to cost her in the end.
She knew she couldn’t bring him back.
But she could still try.
~
Three days after the failed transmutation of the son she miscarried, Izumi Curtis committed suicide. The funeral was small and quiet; her husband and some friends from town were still shaken from the rapid downfall of events. Izumi had seemed so strong to them that it seemed impossible that she could be dead.
But she was.
Even after losing her son; even after losing half her internal organs, there had still been hope for her. She could have lived on with Seig, and been a mother to children that had none. She still had choices.
Izumi had asked Seig to let her die.
She told him what she had done to their child, and herself. She told him that she had seen Hell, and knew that somehow, that’s where their baby was. She told him that she loved him, but her child needed her.
He didn’t stop her. He couldn’t have even if he tried.
He had them buried together.
YUKI CURTIS
BELOVED SON
MOTHER IS WITH YOU
and
IZUMI CURTIS
BELOVED WIFE
SHE DIED A MOTHER
Seig Curtis never remarried.