Trust
Title: Trust
Author: ringdingdong19
Pairings: Onew/Key, past!Jonghyun/Key
Ratings: PG
Genre: _____
Disclaimer: mine. now, do you actually believe that?
A/N: i'm busy, tired, and sick. cheer me up with comments? :)
Kim Kibum was stuck in an old abandoned house with Lee Jinki; his best friend ever since he could ever remember. It was storming outside and there were no ways they could drive back home in this weather. In the normal days, this kind of situation would be perfectly fine. But today, Jinki seemed different. It all started after Kibum broke up with his boyfriend for the second time. And also, rejecting Jinki for the second time.
Kibum found himself standing at the corner of room, right across Jinki. Lee Jinki was usually a cheerful guy, but not today. He held his head high, with a bottle of beer hanging from his right hand. It was his fifth bottle. Kibum counted. After finishing his beer, he walked towards Kibum. He smelled so much like alcohol and mud it made the younger boy dizzy. When he was close enough, Kibum heard him whispered, “Why do you hate me?” Kibum was confused by the question. He thought Jinki would understand that after fifteen years of friendship, Kibum could never hate him. Sure, he would get pissed now and then, but never hate.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Then why did you say no to me?” Kibum stayed quiet, “Why don’t you love me?” Kibum didn’t dare to say a word, because the truth was he loved him. But he felt like their friendship was too precious to risk. Before Kibum could answer, Jinki suddenly yelled, “ANSWER MY QUESTION KIBUM! Tell me, why do you choose those jerks over me? Oh no, wait, I know the answer. Because you like being used, you like being with assholes, that’s why.”
“What? So you think I'm stupid?”
“Can’t say that I disagree with that. Or maybe you’re just being a whore.” Kibum’s heart was instantly filled with anger, he had to bit his lips so hard to prevent him from hitting Jinki. Kibum would never hurt Jinki. Instead, he calmly replied,
“If I liked assholes, wouldn’t we be together by now?” The next thing he knew, a cold hand slapped his face so hard he couldn’t even registered the fact that Jinki had just hurt him. Tears found their way to Kibum’s beautiful eyes and started to run down his pale cheeks. “Go away.” Kibum felt energy left his body and slid down to the floor, didn’t exactly know what to do. “I want my best friend. I want Jinki.” He whispered to the cold air. As soon as Jinki heard his fragile voice, he scooted closer.
“I’m here.”
“No, you’re not Jinki. My Jinki would never hurt me.” Jinki suddenly wrapped his arms around Kibum, holding him so tight in his arms. He tried to push his arms away but it wasn’t working, Jinki barely moves. “Bring him back. I need him. I need my Jinki.”
“He’s here. I’m here. I’m sorry.”
“No,” was the only word escaped from Kibum’s lips repeatedly until he fell asleep.
-
By the time Kibum opened his eyes the sun was already up and shining. It took awhile until he realized that a pair of arms was still holding him. He looked up and saw Jinki’s sleeping face lighten by the sunshine, making him more beautiful than he already is. Kibum shook his thoughts away when he remembered what this man did to him last night. He gently let go of his arms and made his way outside the house.
Outside was beautiful. No evident of last night’s storm was visible except from some puddles here and there. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened last night. He considered it to be a big fight. Jinki never hit him. His words kept playing on his mind,
“Because you like being used, you like being with assholes, that’s why.”
Truth be told, Kibum kind of agreed with that. After he did some thinking, he finally concluded that maybe he liked being used, he liked being sad, because no matter how broken he would feel, Jinki would always be there. Maybe that was what scared Kibum so much about being with Jinki, the fact that if he screwed this up, Jinki wouldn’t be there anymore. He let out a frustrated sigh and dropped his head down. His seemingly peaceful morning was ruined when he heard someone coughing behind him, telling him that the sky’s clear and they’d better go home.
Jinki tried to start up a conversation with Kibum. Occasionally asking questions, only to be replied by a short ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the younger boy. He took Kibum’s silence as a sign that he was still mad at him, he didn’t realized that with each thought about Kibum hating him and not trusting him, he pushed the gas pedal just a little harder.
“Jinki, you’re going too fast.” Kibum sat up as he fixed his eyes on the speed meter, holding breath when he saw the numbers increasing. “You’re going too fast, Jinki! Stop the car! Stop the car right now!”
“That’s the thing with you, Key!” Jinki shouted, “You can’t fucking trust me! I know what I’m doing! It’s not like I’m going to kill you! For-“ Ironic as it was, before Jinki could even finish his sentence, the car started to spin, slipping down the road and only stopping when it crashed into a nearby tree.
-
When Kibum opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness. He couldn’t feel his legs or arms. He was certain that he didn’t die, because if he did, wouldn’t he see a bright light somewhere around him, right? His hope went sky-high when he heard voices. From there, he concluded that he was in a hospital, and he wasn’t dead. That’s one thing to be thankful for.
Fifteen seconds later he felt a warm hand surrounding his, followed by a gentle kiss on his forehead. It didn’t take long for Kibum to know who that person was.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. First I hit you and now this? Why do I always ended up hurting you when all I’ve ever wanted is to protect you?” Kibum was trying his hardest to open his eyes, let out a sound, or do something to tell Jinki that he was okay. But he was miserably failing. “I miss your eyes. Open them, please? Let me know that you’re still here.” He couldn’t help but cries along when he heard quiet sobs emitting from the older boy.
The rest of the day went as a blur to the hospitalized boy. More people came by and he was glad that he could still hear their voices. At least he knew that a lot of people care about him so he needed to get better quickly. What touched Kibum the most was that Jinki’s voice never left. It seemed that the older boy didn’t even leave Kibum’s side. The comforting thought lulled Kibum to sleep.
-
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jinki shouted as soon as he saw a certain blonde male stepping into Kibum’s room.
“I want to see him,” The latter answered casually as he walked closer to the bed where Kibum laid, ignoring Jinki’s obvious hatred towards him.
“Why do you care? You left him.” He only raised his eyebrows and replied quietly,
“And you made him like this.” It was only a sentence. But it was a sentence that slapped Jinki right across his face. This was your entire fault Lee Jinki. “Hey, love. It’s me, Jonghyun.” The blonde guy continued, “I’m sorry I left you. I didn’t mean to, I always think about you. Seeing you like this kills me,”
“Bullshit.” Jinki breathed, loud enough for Jonghyun to hear.
“Excuse me, you’re the one that got him in this situation! If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be here right now. For all I know Kibum could be dying right now!” Jinki didn’t stay quiet this time. He hated when people pointed out the fact that he might’ve killed the one person he loved the most.
“Do you think I could live with myself if I killed him?” He shouted back, “Why do you even care? Go fuck that bitch and leave Kibum alone! He’s mine.”
“I’m not yours.” Came a soft whisper from the bed. Both men immediately turned their attention to the bed. Kibum was conscious. “I’m not anybody’s.” Jinki lowered his head in embarrassment and ran out the door, leaving Kibum disappointed as he didn’t even ask that he was okay.
“Thanks for coming over, Jjong. Means a lot.” The other boy smiled in return and awkward silence filled the room. Both were too busy with their own thoughts. Jonghyun was still contemplating whether or not he should ask Kibum to get back with him right now. He decided to try his luck, since it had been his first intention coming there anyway.
“Kibum, I know I messed things up again and I’m very sorry. Now I’ve realized that you’re the best. I promise I won’t hurt you anymore. Will you please… comeback to me?” Kibum chuckled to himself,
“Jonghyun, you do realize that this is going to be third time you promised that you won’t hurt me anymore, don’t you?” For the first time in days, Kibum smiled sincerely. “We’re not right for each other. You have to understand that.” Jonghyun laughed and brought Kibum’s soft hand to his cheek as he slowly nodded. They stayed like that for a little while, as the older kept repeating that he was sincerely sorry for what he had done.
“I know you love him, Kibum. You always have.” And with that Jonghyun left. Leaving a completely confused Kibum on the bed. He shifted his gaze to his right, where a chair was placed. He couldn’t help but to think about the angry look on Jinki’s face as he left this afternoon. Closing his eyes, he imagined Jinki sitting there for hours just to see if he would wake up. Then, he drifted to sleep again.
-
It’s been the third day since Kibum woke up and since the last time he saw Jinki. The doctors told him that his left hand and left foot were damaged, but it were nothing fatal. So he only needed to wear casts for a few months and go for a regular therapy and he’ll be back to normal in no time. His mom always came by in the afternoon, not forgetting to comfort him. She knew that her son was more upset about Jinki not being there. She kept saying that maybe Jinki was tired and he needed a rest. Kibum wanted to believe her, so he did but only until his mother went home. Then, all the bad thoughts came flooding back in and he had to ask for sleeping pills in order to fall asleep peacefully.
Kibum didn’t know how long he’d been sleeping, but the moment he woke up, he felt better. A lot better than he had felt in days. It didn’t take long for him to notice that a pair of arms was hugging him from behind. As soon as he saw the bracelets circling the wrists, he immediately knew who it was. Kibum turned around gently so that he was face to face with his best friend. He would never admit this if anyone asked, but Jinki was the most beautiful person he had ever met. It was ridiculous, Kibum thought, how the feel of Jinki’s arms around him made his pain disappears. It was better than any painkillers.
“Jinki,” He said, slowly shaking the older boy. “Wake up.” Jinki stirred a little and opened his eyes, smiling sweetly to Kibum.
“Slept well, Bummie?” The younger only nodded, trying to ignore the fact that he could feel Jinki’s breath on his neck. “I’m sorry Kibum. I didn’t mean to call you mine.” He whispered softly.
“It’s okay really.” Kibum heard the other sighed in relief. “Jinki, you’re still my best friend right?”
“Of course.”
“Then I can tell you something?” Kibum’s heart started to speed up just a little when he felt Jinki nodded; His own thoughts were arguing whether or not he should tell Jinki about Jonghyun. It should be fine right? He didn’t know why he was so nervous. “The other day, when Jonghyun came to visit… Well, he told me he wanted to get back together again.” Something changed in Jinki upon hearing Jonghyun’s name. He immediately let go of Kibum’s waist and stood up, muttering a soft ‘I can’t do this’ before exiting the room. Jinki himself didn’t know why he felt so betrayed by this. He came back though, when he heard a loud groan just seconds after he had left.
And he came back to see Kibum sprawled on the floor, face all scrunched up and teeth digging hard on his lower lips in attempt to stop the pain. Jinki rushed to his side and lift Kibum up, putting him back on his bed.
“Why did you do that, idiot?” Looking at the crystal tears that started to form on his beautiful eyes, Jinki felt guilt started to crash his heart once more.
“I don’t want you to walk out without knowing that I didn’t say yes.” There was silence. Neither of them knew what to say. “Where…were you these last few days?” Kibum spoke up, eyes fixed on the corner of his blanket where his fingers were twisting around the soft fabric.
“I…I thought you were still mad at me. I was afraid I would hurt you again.”
“You make everything alright,” Kibum whispered almost immediately. “Despite all this pain, what hurts me the most is not seeing you here.” He looked up when Jinki’s hands reach for his and the older boy buried his face in his palm.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. All I want to do is protect you. And instead, what did I do? I almost killed you.” He sighed then, looking up again forcing Kibum to look him in the eye. “I’ve done so many wrongs and for once I want to do this right.” He paused, “I care for you. I love you. I want you to be mine. Just mine. I told myself over and over again that it’s time to face the fact that it’s not going to happen. Well,” Jinki tried to smile, although it’s clear that the smile was forced. “Even though I can’t have you as my boyfriend, I’ll always have you as a best friend, right?”
Kibum looked distant for a second before he answered a low “Definitely.” He was trying to ignore the feeling of someone pinching his chest and taking out all the air supply in his lungs, making it difficult breathe. Only then that it all made sense to Kibum. He wanted to be his boyfriend. He wanted to have a relationship with him. So, without further hesitation he leaned forward to Jinki, gently placing his lips on the other’s soft ones. It lasted only for a mere second, it wasn’t even a minute, but it was enough to set both hearts beating faster.
“I don’t really understand,” was the only thing Jinki could mutter after the kiss.
“Thanks for always trying to protect me, Jinki. Thanks for always being there for me and helping me,” Jinki smiled again, but the evidence of bitterness and falling hopes are clear on his face. “And I’ve just realized just how much I truly love you and how much being with you means the world to me. I mean, how else can you explain my disappointment every time I woke up in this damn hospital and not seeing your stupid face and hoping every damn second that you wouldn’t be mad at me?” His hands found their way to Kibum’s hair, softly caressing it.
“Then why did you say no?”
“Because, if anything goes wrong, I’ll lose you. And that is the last thing I wanted to ever happen.”
“You’re not going to lose me, ever. Whatever the situation would be, Kim Kibum would never lose Lee Jinki, never. Kibum, I love you.” Their lips met once again as they both smiled, this time it wasn’t forced nor was it bitter. It was a smile of relief, happiness, and years of waiting finally paid off.
****
A/N: i didn't proof read it...so yeah...
HAAAAAAA. i know what you're thinking. what a fail. -_- i just feel the need to post something...onkey related. gah, i've been so busy and tired i barely have enough sleep as it is and fasting is not making it any easier. dark circles under my eyes are growing and i'm not happy about it!
i'm sorry if i've forgotten about my spot in your fic, just remind me!
and please do comment! it cheers me up :D
Author: ringdingdong19
Pairings: Onew/Key, past!Jonghyun/Key
Ratings: PG
Genre: _____
Disclaimer: mine. now, do you actually believe that?
A/N: i'm busy, tired, and sick. cheer me up with comments? :)
Kim Kibum was stuck in an old abandoned house with Lee Jinki; his best friend ever since he could ever remember. It was storming outside and there were no ways they could drive back home in this weather. In the normal days, this kind of situation would be perfectly fine. But today, Jinki seemed different. It all started after Kibum broke up with his boyfriend for the second time. And also, rejecting Jinki for the second time.
Kibum found himself standing at the corner of room, right across Jinki. Lee Jinki was usually a cheerful guy, but not today. He held his head high, with a bottle of beer hanging from his right hand. It was his fifth bottle. Kibum counted. After finishing his beer, he walked towards Kibum. He smelled so much like alcohol and mud it made the younger boy dizzy. When he was close enough, Kibum heard him whispered, “Why do you hate me?” Kibum was confused by the question. He thought Jinki would understand that after fifteen years of friendship, Kibum could never hate him. Sure, he would get pissed now and then, but never hate.
“I don’t hate you.”
“Then why did you say no to me?” Kibum stayed quiet, “Why don’t you love me?” Kibum didn’t dare to say a word, because the truth was he loved him. But he felt like their friendship was too precious to risk. Before Kibum could answer, Jinki suddenly yelled, “ANSWER MY QUESTION KIBUM! Tell me, why do you choose those jerks over me? Oh no, wait, I know the answer. Because you like being used, you like being with assholes, that’s why.”
“What? So you think I'm stupid?”
“Can’t say that I disagree with that. Or maybe you’re just being a whore.” Kibum’s heart was instantly filled with anger, he had to bit his lips so hard to prevent him from hitting Jinki. Kibum would never hurt Jinki. Instead, he calmly replied,
“If I liked assholes, wouldn’t we be together by now?” The next thing he knew, a cold hand slapped his face so hard he couldn’t even registered the fact that Jinki had just hurt him. Tears found their way to Kibum’s beautiful eyes and started to run down his pale cheeks. “Go away.” Kibum felt energy left his body and slid down to the floor, didn’t exactly know what to do. “I want my best friend. I want Jinki.” He whispered to the cold air. As soon as Jinki heard his fragile voice, he scooted closer.
“I’m here.”
“No, you’re not Jinki. My Jinki would never hurt me.” Jinki suddenly wrapped his arms around Kibum, holding him so tight in his arms. He tried to push his arms away but it wasn’t working, Jinki barely moves. “Bring him back. I need him. I need my Jinki.”
“He’s here. I’m here. I’m sorry.”
“No,” was the only word escaped from Kibum’s lips repeatedly until he fell asleep.
-
By the time Kibum opened his eyes the sun was already up and shining. It took awhile until he realized that a pair of arms was still holding him. He looked up and saw Jinki’s sleeping face lighten by the sunshine, making him more beautiful than he already is. Kibum shook his thoughts away when he remembered what this man did to him last night. He gently let go of his arms and made his way outside the house.
Outside was beautiful. No evident of last night’s storm was visible except from some puddles here and there. He couldn’t stop thinking about what happened last night. He considered it to be a big fight. Jinki never hit him. His words kept playing on his mind,
“Because you like being used, you like being with assholes, that’s why.”
Truth be told, Kibum kind of agreed with that. After he did some thinking, he finally concluded that maybe he liked being used, he liked being sad, because no matter how broken he would feel, Jinki would always be there. Maybe that was what scared Kibum so much about being with Jinki, the fact that if he screwed this up, Jinki wouldn’t be there anymore. He let out a frustrated sigh and dropped his head down. His seemingly peaceful morning was ruined when he heard someone coughing behind him, telling him that the sky’s clear and they’d better go home.
Jinki tried to start up a conversation with Kibum. Occasionally asking questions, only to be replied by a short ‘yes’ or ‘no’ from the younger boy. He took Kibum’s silence as a sign that he was still mad at him, he didn’t realized that with each thought about Kibum hating him and not trusting him, he pushed the gas pedal just a little harder.
“Jinki, you’re going too fast.” Kibum sat up as he fixed his eyes on the speed meter, holding breath when he saw the numbers increasing. “You’re going too fast, Jinki! Stop the car! Stop the car right now!”
“That’s the thing with you, Key!” Jinki shouted, “You can’t fucking trust me! I know what I’m doing! It’s not like I’m going to kill you! For-“ Ironic as it was, before Jinki could even finish his sentence, the car started to spin, slipping down the road and only stopping when it crashed into a nearby tree.
-
When Kibum opened his eyes, all he could see was darkness. He couldn’t feel his legs or arms. He was certain that he didn’t die, because if he did, wouldn’t he see a bright light somewhere around him, right? His hope went sky-high when he heard voices. From there, he concluded that he was in a hospital, and he wasn’t dead. That’s one thing to be thankful for.
Fifteen seconds later he felt a warm hand surrounding his, followed by a gentle kiss on his forehead. It didn’t take long for Kibum to know who that person was.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. First I hit you and now this? Why do I always ended up hurting you when all I’ve ever wanted is to protect you?” Kibum was trying his hardest to open his eyes, let out a sound, or do something to tell Jinki that he was okay. But he was miserably failing. “I miss your eyes. Open them, please? Let me know that you’re still here.” He couldn’t help but cries along when he heard quiet sobs emitting from the older boy.
The rest of the day went as a blur to the hospitalized boy. More people came by and he was glad that he could still hear their voices. At least he knew that a lot of people care about him so he needed to get better quickly. What touched Kibum the most was that Jinki’s voice never left. It seemed that the older boy didn’t even leave Kibum’s side. The comforting thought lulled Kibum to sleep.
-
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jinki shouted as soon as he saw a certain blonde male stepping into Kibum’s room.
“I want to see him,” The latter answered casually as he walked closer to the bed where Kibum laid, ignoring Jinki’s obvious hatred towards him.
“Why do you care? You left him.” He only raised his eyebrows and replied quietly,
“And you made him like this.” It was only a sentence. But it was a sentence that slapped Jinki right across his face. This was your entire fault Lee Jinki. “Hey, love. It’s me, Jonghyun.” The blonde guy continued, “I’m sorry I left you. I didn’t mean to, I always think about you. Seeing you like this kills me,”
“Bullshit.” Jinki breathed, loud enough for Jonghyun to hear.
“Excuse me, you’re the one that got him in this situation! If it weren’t for you, he wouldn’t be here right now. For all I know Kibum could be dying right now!” Jinki didn’t stay quiet this time. He hated when people pointed out the fact that he might’ve killed the one person he loved the most.
“Do you think I could live with myself if I killed him?” He shouted back, “Why do you even care? Go fuck that bitch and leave Kibum alone! He’s mine.”
“I’m not yours.” Came a soft whisper from the bed. Both men immediately turned their attention to the bed. Kibum was conscious. “I’m not anybody’s.” Jinki lowered his head in embarrassment and ran out the door, leaving Kibum disappointed as he didn’t even ask that he was okay.
“Thanks for coming over, Jjong. Means a lot.” The other boy smiled in return and awkward silence filled the room. Both were too busy with their own thoughts. Jonghyun was still contemplating whether or not he should ask Kibum to get back with him right now. He decided to try his luck, since it had been his first intention coming there anyway.
“Kibum, I know I messed things up again and I’m very sorry. Now I’ve realized that you’re the best. I promise I won’t hurt you anymore. Will you please… comeback to me?” Kibum chuckled to himself,
“Jonghyun, you do realize that this is going to be third time you promised that you won’t hurt me anymore, don’t you?” For the first time in days, Kibum smiled sincerely. “We’re not right for each other. You have to understand that.” Jonghyun laughed and brought Kibum’s soft hand to his cheek as he slowly nodded. They stayed like that for a little while, as the older kept repeating that he was sincerely sorry for what he had done.
“I know you love him, Kibum. You always have.” And with that Jonghyun left. Leaving a completely confused Kibum on the bed. He shifted his gaze to his right, where a chair was placed. He couldn’t help but to think about the angry look on Jinki’s face as he left this afternoon. Closing his eyes, he imagined Jinki sitting there for hours just to see if he would wake up. Then, he drifted to sleep again.
-
It’s been the third day since Kibum woke up and since the last time he saw Jinki. The doctors told him that his left hand and left foot were damaged, but it were nothing fatal. So he only needed to wear casts for a few months and go for a regular therapy and he’ll be back to normal in no time. His mom always came by in the afternoon, not forgetting to comfort him. She knew that her son was more upset about Jinki not being there. She kept saying that maybe Jinki was tired and he needed a rest. Kibum wanted to believe her, so he did but only until his mother went home. Then, all the bad thoughts came flooding back in and he had to ask for sleeping pills in order to fall asleep peacefully.
Kibum didn’t know how long he’d been sleeping, but the moment he woke up, he felt better. A lot better than he had felt in days. It didn’t take long for him to notice that a pair of arms was hugging him from behind. As soon as he saw the bracelets circling the wrists, he immediately knew who it was. Kibum turned around gently so that he was face to face with his best friend. He would never admit this if anyone asked, but Jinki was the most beautiful person he had ever met. It was ridiculous, Kibum thought, how the feel of Jinki’s arms around him made his pain disappears. It was better than any painkillers.
“Jinki,” He said, slowly shaking the older boy. “Wake up.” Jinki stirred a little and opened his eyes, smiling sweetly to Kibum.
“Slept well, Bummie?” The younger only nodded, trying to ignore the fact that he could feel Jinki’s breath on his neck. “I’m sorry Kibum. I didn’t mean to call you mine.” He whispered softly.
“It’s okay really.” Kibum heard the other sighed in relief. “Jinki, you’re still my best friend right?”
“Of course.”
“Then I can tell you something?” Kibum’s heart started to speed up just a little when he felt Jinki nodded; His own thoughts were arguing whether or not he should tell Jinki about Jonghyun. It should be fine right? He didn’t know why he was so nervous. “The other day, when Jonghyun came to visit… Well, he told me he wanted to get back together again.” Something changed in Jinki upon hearing Jonghyun’s name. He immediately let go of Kibum’s waist and stood up, muttering a soft ‘I can’t do this’ before exiting the room. Jinki himself didn’t know why he felt so betrayed by this. He came back though, when he heard a loud groan just seconds after he had left.
And he came back to see Kibum sprawled on the floor, face all scrunched up and teeth digging hard on his lower lips in attempt to stop the pain. Jinki rushed to his side and lift Kibum up, putting him back on his bed.
“Why did you do that, idiot?” Looking at the crystal tears that started to form on his beautiful eyes, Jinki felt guilt started to crash his heart once more.
“I don’t want you to walk out without knowing that I didn’t say yes.” There was silence. Neither of them knew what to say. “Where…were you these last few days?” Kibum spoke up, eyes fixed on the corner of his blanket where his fingers were twisting around the soft fabric.
“I…I thought you were still mad at me. I was afraid I would hurt you again.”
“You make everything alright,” Kibum whispered almost immediately. “Despite all this pain, what hurts me the most is not seeing you here.” He looked up when Jinki’s hands reach for his and the older boy buried his face in his palm.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. All I want to do is protect you. And instead, what did I do? I almost killed you.” He sighed then, looking up again forcing Kibum to look him in the eye. “I’ve done so many wrongs and for once I want to do this right.” He paused, “I care for you. I love you. I want you to be mine. Just mine. I told myself over and over again that it’s time to face the fact that it’s not going to happen. Well,” Jinki tried to smile, although it’s clear that the smile was forced. “Even though I can’t have you as my boyfriend, I’ll always have you as a best friend, right?”
Kibum looked distant for a second before he answered a low “Definitely.” He was trying to ignore the feeling of someone pinching his chest and taking out all the air supply in his lungs, making it difficult breathe. Only then that it all made sense to Kibum. He wanted to be his boyfriend. He wanted to have a relationship with him. So, without further hesitation he leaned forward to Jinki, gently placing his lips on the other’s soft ones. It lasted only for a mere second, it wasn’t even a minute, but it was enough to set both hearts beating faster.
“I don’t really understand,” was the only thing Jinki could mutter after the kiss.
“Thanks for always trying to protect me, Jinki. Thanks for always being there for me and helping me,” Jinki smiled again, but the evidence of bitterness and falling hopes are clear on his face. “And I’ve just realized just how much I truly love you and how much being with you means the world to me. I mean, how else can you explain my disappointment every time I woke up in this damn hospital and not seeing your stupid face and hoping every damn second that you wouldn’t be mad at me?” His hands found their way to Kibum’s hair, softly caressing it.
“Then why did you say no?”
“Because, if anything goes wrong, I’ll lose you. And that is the last thing I wanted to ever happen.”
“You’re not going to lose me, ever. Whatever the situation would be, Kim Kibum would never lose Lee Jinki, never. Kibum, I love you.” Their lips met once again as they both smiled, this time it wasn’t forced nor was it bitter. It was a smile of relief, happiness, and years of waiting finally paid off.
****
A/N: i didn't proof read it...so yeah...
HAAAAAAA. i know what you're thinking. what a fail. -_- i just feel the need to post something...onkey related. gah, i've been so busy and tired i barely have enough sleep as it is and fasting is not making it any easier. dark circles under my eyes are growing and i'm not happy about it!
i'm sorry if i've forgotten about my spot in your fic, just remind me!
and please do comment! it cheers me up :D