Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
In reverse order of how long they've been in the game!
Jim Halpert:
*Not the same Jim who was a student a couple years ago.
*Has the same player, though.
*Was just rejected by Pam at the end of Season 2 and went to Fandom instead of Stamford.
*He may prank you.
The next few points are important, so I'm pulled them out from under the cut.
*Always has a NPC camera guy following him around for the documentary being made on The Office.
*Will probably try to convince people that there is no camera guy.
*Will constantly make faces at the camera guy.
*The camera guy can be modded as filming a reaction shot of you, but he will not speak or interact. He's well trained.
Kyle Katarn:
*Is the leading cause of death in Stormtroopers.
*Will soon be a Jedi Master and the Jedi Battlemaster.
*That means that he's the guy who teaches students how to be badass with weapons.
*Once infiltrated an Imperial base on a hidden planet and walked out with the Death Star plans that were used at Yavin.
*Trims his beard with his lightsaber. Nothing else can cut it.
*Has recently brought down a Super Star Destroyer. by himself. Not even in a ship.
*Followed that up by fighting a bunch of Dark Jedi until they died from it.
*Has probably killed more Dark Jedi than anyone else from his era.
*ETA: Is God.
Yakko Warner:
*Is a freshman.
*Is 85 years old.
*Is completely insane.
*Enjoys sight gags.
*Will pull things out of his pants or from under desks for the sake of a quick sight gag.
*Blatantly hits on and catcalls pretty girls, but will never actually get anywhere, because that would be weird.
Zayne Carrick:
*Is a senior.
*Is the most earnest boy in the galaxy.
*Is in training to be a Jedi.
*Doesn't have the skill to be a Jedi.
*Will probably not make the cut to be a Jedi unless something completely improbable happens.
*Has a special relationship with the Force, allowing completely improbable things to happen to him.
*That goes for both good and bad things.
*Is exactly the kind of person you would want to represent the Jedi.
Ben Reilly:
*Is a clone.
*Of Spider-Man.
*He thinks his dyed hair keeps him from looking exactly like Peter Parker.
*Is wrong.
*Runs Things Reborn, a thrift store.
*Bartends at Caritas, a bar.
*Has canonically worked as a broista (male barista, learn it, use it, love it, TM EPE), mob bodyguard, lab assistant, and so much more.
*Has spider-powers.
Peter Parker:
*Is Spider-Man from the Ultimate Universe.
*Works at an alternative newspaper as the web editor.
*Is attending Caltech.
*Lives in the swerval_zero's dimension in an apartment with her and mparkerceo.
*Was once cloned many many times. The only living clone is a girl.
*The Hulk killed his parents when he was a baby, but he doesn't know that yet.
GOB Bluth:
*Is a dirty forty-something man.
*And an illusionist.
*And a puppeteer.
*Who has a yacht that he technically stole from his family.
*He has a son named STEVE HOLT! \o/
*He is making his way back to his family as we speak.
Me:
*Likes comics, clearly.
*Is generally online from about 7 PM to 11:30 PM CST on weeknights and most of the day on weekends.
*Always has urges to bring back old characters.
Jim Halpert:
*Not the same Jim who was a student a couple years ago.
*Has the same player, though.
*Was just rejected by Pam at the end of Season 2 and went to Fandom instead of Stamford.
*He may prank you.
The next few points are important, so I'm pulled them out from under the cut.
*Always has a NPC camera guy following him around for the documentary being made on The Office.
*Will probably try to convince people that there is no camera guy.
*Will constantly make faces at the camera guy.
*The camera guy can be modded as filming a reaction shot of you, but he will not speak or interact. He's well trained.
Kyle Katarn:
*Is the leading cause of death in Stormtroopers.
*Will soon be a Jedi Master and the Jedi Battlemaster.
*That means that he's the guy who teaches students how to be badass with weapons.
*Once infiltrated an Imperial base on a hidden planet and walked out with the Death Star plans that were used at Yavin.
*Trims his beard with his lightsaber. Nothing else can cut it.
*Has recently brought down a Super Star Destroyer. by himself. Not even in a ship.
*Followed that up by fighting a bunch of Dark Jedi until they died from it.
*Has probably killed more Dark Jedi than anyone else from his era.
*ETA: Is God.
Yakko Warner:
*Is a freshman.
*Is 85 years old.
*Is completely insane.
*Enjoys sight gags.
*Will pull things out of his pants or from under desks for the sake of a quick sight gag.
*Blatantly hits on and catcalls pretty girls, but will never actually get anywhere, because that would be weird.
Zayne Carrick:
*Is a senior.
*Is the most earnest boy in the galaxy.
*Is in training to be a Jedi.
*Doesn't have the skill to be a Jedi.
*Will probably not make the cut to be a Jedi unless something completely improbable happens.
*Has a special relationship with the Force, allowing completely improbable things to happen to him.
*That goes for both good and bad things.
*Is exactly the kind of person you would want to represent the Jedi.
Ben Reilly:
*Is a clone.
*Of Spider-Man.
*He thinks his dyed hair keeps him from looking exactly like Peter Parker.
*Is wrong.
*Runs Things Reborn, a thrift store.
*Bartends at Caritas, a bar.
*Has canonically worked as a broista (male barista, learn it, use it, love it, TM EPE), mob bodyguard, lab assistant, and so much more.
*Has spider-powers.
Peter Parker:
*Is Spider-Man from the Ultimate Universe.
*Works at an alternative newspaper as the web editor.
*Is attending Caltech.
*Lives in the swerval_zero's dimension in an apartment with her and mparkerceo.
*Was once cloned many many times. The only living clone is a girl.
*The Hulk killed his parents when he was a baby, but he doesn't know that yet.
GOB Bluth:
*Is a dirty forty-something man.
*And an illusionist.
*And a puppeteer.
*Who has a yacht that he technically stole from his family.
*He has a son named STEVE HOLT! \o/
*He is making his way back to his family as we speak.
Me:
*Likes comics, clearly.
*Is generally online from about 7 PM to 11:30 PM CST on weeknights and most of the day on weekends.
*Always has urges to bring back old characters.