You know I saw a wonderful movie about a woman that was going thru the same thing sort of what you are going thru. I think it was called "The Secretary" you should rent it if you never seen it, a wonderfully made movie that not many people can truly get. Have you tried to introduce your boyfriend to the idea of releasing whatever pressures or emotions your're going thru with some hard spanking. I'm not trying to be a perv or anything I figure even though it was a movie it's a plausable solution.
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A guardian angel
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