Worst Nightmare Ever
He was in her castle - he knew exactly where he was, he'd been there so often. He was on the staircase that led to her suite of rooms.
He thundered up the stairs and burst in through the door, leaving it in splinters. He was here to claim his prize. "PRINCESS PEACH YOU'RE COMIN' WITH ME!" he yelled with great enthusiasm.
She was standing by the window, with her back to him, framed by it perfectly - the bright sun casting her into a silhouette. He stomped up to her and put his claw on her shoulder, "You know what time it is, princess, you're comin' with your burly King Bowser." He swung her shoulder around so she would face him and he could look into her beautiful eyes.
Kammy Koopa stared back up at him, her face covered in wrinkles and liver spots. "Oh Lord Bowser!" she said in the voice of an ancient crone who had not known the touch of a man for at least five hundred years or more. "You've come at last."
"KAMMY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?" he yelped, jumping back at least a foot, if not more.
"I've been waiting for you forever, my Lord, come, clasp me to your brawny chest and take me out away from here."
"KAMMY YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS."
"Oh, Lord Bowser," she cooed in a voice thick with old-lady phlegm. "you know you can't resist my charms." She lifted the hem of her skirt to show off her shapely calf. It's shape was best described as 'raisin-like and covered in varicose veins.'
Bowser vomited.