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[iheartjames]

Spot Check for Shitty Writing
A Response to the Lead Story from Kiss Machine Version 8.0 (an Otherwise Fine Magazine) and Plenty of Other Student Writing I've Encountered in My Three Years at Columbia College of Chicago and in Other Magazines

• Assign your lit/psych/writing major to your narrator
• Reference a "japanese noise band" to give your scene

Comments

fuckin' fuckitty fuck yeehaw.

[kismetcrash]

*excessive use of the word "fuck"
*INSIST ON STARTING EVERY CHARACTER DESCRIPTION WITH "SO THERE'S THIS GUY/GIRL, AAAND...." i mean.. come on, now. in recall, that's what you're supposed to do. but not when you're writing. jeez.
*go the opposite way because you're having some sort of an identity crisis and you're sick of the city, so go way the hell out of your league and try to write about living on a farm & getting raped by your uncle. in a barn. with the pigs watching. all in texan dialect.
*take the opportunity to use your charcter's voice to rant about some band you knew about before they were popular.
*avoid second person narrative like the plague.

just for good measure:

*excessive use of the word "fuck"

[coloringisfun]

quit hating on the passive voice! sometimes it's necessary, i think.

xo,
bradley

[iheartjames]

you're totally right, the passive voice IS totally necessary sometimes. just not ALL the time.
bring back white panties and pillow fights!

ox