Vagina Dialogues.

[iheartmacca]

I was just having a facebook conversation with my friend, Gretchen (who's actually a guy and named Bradlee, but I call him Gretchen for reasons not even I know). It started because my bestfriend told me that she was trying to talk him into buying his mom pads, and then... this happened XD



Amy
Did you get the pads yet?

Bradlee
omg no not going 2 happen!

Amy
UHM, GO! NOW! VAGINAS WAIT FOR NO ONE, SIR!

Bradlee
no

no

no

Amy
You, sir, are no friend of the vagina.

Bradlee
because im a man

Amy
A gay man?

Straight men tend to be best friends with vaginas

Bradlee
no and maybe

Amy
When's the last time you had a real conversation with one?

Bradlee
??

Amy
I dont think you even know any vaginas, so how are you friends with any? Pshh lies.

Bradlee
what going on?

Amy
Oh, go whisper sweet nothings to your dick.

Bradlee
4 u ok ;)

Amy
Uhm, that doesn't do anything for me. I'm not your dick. YOU NEED TO TREAT HIM RIGHT!

Bradlee
k?

Amy
Is that all you have to say? I'm not the one between your legs being neglected. ALSO, GO GET YOUR MOTHER SOME FUCKING PADS, GODDAMN.

Bradlee
NO!!

Amy
You sir, are never going to have sex with a vagina, because word gets around fast, and once your moms vagina signals to all of the other vaginas in the world, you will be SHUNNED, SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!