Comments | ilanthefirst: Moving on

ilanthefirst

Moving on

Oct 06, 2015 15:57

I want to make myself keep posting because I'm hoping it'll be good for my mental health. (My new therapist isn't the sort to tell me what to do outside of therapy, and I'm glad the impulse to write is coming from me.) I've been a mess for about two months now, and it didn't look like it was going to get any better until approximately two days ( Read more... )

end of the world, therapy, brains

Comments 7

varanus October 7 2015, 01:16:26 UTC

I'm reading between a lot of lines here, so if I have read this wrong I apologize.

These sorts of things are never your "fault." Even if there was "something you could have done" to make a different outcome, it's still not your fault. Why? Because it's not your job to ensure that other people behave right. That's their job, and if they don't do it it's always on them. It's a measure of how truly fucked up our society is that in certain situations a victim is somehow expected to control the thoughts and actions for everyone around.

ilanthefirst October 8 2015, 04:17:49 UTC

Let's just say I played more than a small role in what happened. I sort of hold myself responsible for determining who to trust and to what extent. Any reasonable person would have done the same, but I apparently think I'm more reasonable than average and should thus have superpowers. Yeah, I know it's faulty logic, but that's what's going on in my head. /-:

varanus October 8 2015, 04:37:56 UTC

Even if you totally trusted someone you shouldn'tve (and I am not conceding this, just for argument's sake), the fault still lies with the treacherous party. In "gray areas," the fault may lie with no one. But it's virtually impossible for the fault to lie with the wronged party.

I have made extraordinary errors of judgment. Like, inexplicably bad. i wouldn't recommend that, but it still gives no quarter for those who betrayed me, even if in hindsight they were betraying machines.

ilanthefirst October 21 2015, 03:24:01 UTC

Thanks, this is solid reasoning that's helped me a lot.

mechers October 8 2015, 03:31:42 UTC

Stopping blaming yourself is maybe the biggest deal of all.

ilanthefirst October 8 2015, 04:17:05 UTC

Thanks, I certainly thought so. I was hoping it would make more of a difference than it feels like it has, but I'm writing again (among other signs of good mental health, for me) so maybe I just don't have enough perspective on it.

mechers October 8 2015, 15:25:31 UTC

I ususally only recognize it weeks (or sometimes months! I can be dense) after it's started making a difference.