(no subject)
I havn't spoken of bodily fluids in awhile, i'm going to talk about piss, the bodily fluid that is flying under the rader. Sure everybody has about 1000 puke stories and shit stories are exotic and awesome, like a merkin. SIDE NOTE: I made a joke about a merkin and had to explain the concept of a pubic wig to my mother. There are the classic piss stories, like when my friend Mitch was being pissed on while sharing a bush, Mitch took his cigarette and tried to seal the assailent's pee hole.
Now to the mundane stories, which are still suppose to be ackward to talk about. I like to play games while I piss. I remember when I was a kid I used to fill the toilet with bubbles from my piss, and then try to break all the bubbles with more piss. Kind of a, "I created you, i can destroy you" mentality, but I never remember sucessfully debubbling the bowl. I wonder what i would have done if i debubbled the bowl with a good amount still left in my bladder? My guess is to try the transfer into the bathtub mid stream. Well anyways, i lately have been "running laps." Trying to piss circles around the hole in toilet as many times as possible. It's a good, informal measurement of the length of the piss, you'd be surprised at how many "laps" you can finish when drunk.
Some good, cheap stories came into my presence today.
First, this birthday man left his bday party holding his cake at around 2am in LA. He notices a NBA player, Ronny Turaif, coming out of a bar. Ronny agreed for a photo with the Bday boy when Kwame Brown, another Clipper, charged by and attempted to chuck the cake at Ronny. Unfortunately, Kwame nailed Birthday instead of his teammate which prompted Kwame to leap into his limo and speed away. The cake is said to be worth $190.
Next, A 9 year boy that moved from Dallas to Seattle talked his way through Southwest Airlines all the way to San Antionio before the airlines figured out his game. When i was nine i was figuring out how long i needed to pick my nose to build a baseball.
Random IM conversation:
Maxcra4266 (6:19:39 PM): weigh my options
Friend(6:19:59 PM): go for it
Maxcra4266 (6:19:59 PM): i just invented a new version of flipping a coin
Maxcra4266 (6:20:06 PM): you sit indian style
Maxcra4266 (6:20:33 PM): then you jerk it straight up in the air and see what side of the body you cum on yourself
F (6:21:15 PM): seems like a lot of trouble to go through in deciding something, also there is some help involved
Maxcra4266 (6:21:32 PM): when is self pleasure trouble?
F (6:22:45 PM): well if this is a decision that needs to be resolved quickly, but as long as someone gets some sort of satisfaction from it
Maxcra4266 (6:24:41 PM): Plus it'll relieve some tension about the decision
Maxcra4266 (6:24:46 PM): you have to factor that in
F (6:26:19 PM): ha, once it is all said and done you'll forget what you were deciding on in the first place!
Maxcra4266 (6:27:34 PM): just write whatever you were thinking about on your cum rag
Maxcra4266 (6:27:42 PM): so you'll see it when you clean up you decision
F (6:28:13 PM): ha, fun for all ages
Maxcra4266 (6:29:55 PM): yeah, with the help of hormone theoropy
F (6:31:10 PM): just shield your eyes
Maxcra4266 (6:31:52 PM): naw, a red, watery eye is a battle scar
F (6:32:25 PM): and a great ice breaker
Now to the mundane stories, which are still suppose to be ackward to talk about. I like to play games while I piss. I remember when I was a kid I used to fill the toilet with bubbles from my piss, and then try to break all the bubbles with more piss. Kind of a, "I created you, i can destroy you" mentality, but I never remember sucessfully debubbling the bowl. I wonder what i would have done if i debubbled the bowl with a good amount still left in my bladder? My guess is to try the transfer into the bathtub mid stream. Well anyways, i lately have been "running laps." Trying to piss circles around the hole in toilet as many times as possible. It's a good, informal measurement of the length of the piss, you'd be surprised at how many "laps" you can finish when drunk.
Some good, cheap stories came into my presence today.
First, this birthday man left his bday party holding his cake at around 2am in LA. He notices a NBA player, Ronny Turaif, coming out of a bar. Ronny agreed for a photo with the Bday boy when Kwame Brown, another Clipper, charged by and attempted to chuck the cake at Ronny. Unfortunately, Kwame nailed Birthday instead of his teammate which prompted Kwame to leap into his limo and speed away. The cake is said to be worth $190.
Next, A 9 year boy that moved from Dallas to Seattle talked his way through Southwest Airlines all the way to San Antionio before the airlines figured out his game. When i was nine i was figuring out how long i needed to pick my nose to build a baseball.
Random IM conversation:
Maxcra4266 (6:19:39 PM): weigh my options
Friend(6:19:59 PM): go for it
Maxcra4266 (6:19:59 PM): i just invented a new version of flipping a coin
Maxcra4266 (6:20:06 PM): you sit indian style
Maxcra4266 (6:20:33 PM): then you jerk it straight up in the air and see what side of the body you cum on yourself
F (6:21:15 PM): seems like a lot of trouble to go through in deciding something, also there is some help involved
Maxcra4266 (6:21:32 PM): when is self pleasure trouble?
F (6:22:45 PM): well if this is a decision that needs to be resolved quickly, but as long as someone gets some sort of satisfaction from it
Maxcra4266 (6:24:41 PM): Plus it'll relieve some tension about the decision
Maxcra4266 (6:24:46 PM): you have to factor that in
F (6:26:19 PM): ha, once it is all said and done you'll forget what you were deciding on in the first place!
Maxcra4266 (6:27:34 PM): just write whatever you were thinking about on your cum rag
Maxcra4266 (6:27:42 PM): so you'll see it when you clean up you decision
F (6:28:13 PM): ha, fun for all ages
Maxcra4266 (6:29:55 PM): yeah, with the help of hormone theoropy
F (6:31:10 PM): just shield your eyes
Maxcra4266 (6:31:52 PM): naw, a red, watery eye is a battle scar
F (6:32:25 PM): and a great ice breaker