(no subject)
Insomnia (Or perhaps it’s just the Mountain Dew). Either way, I’ve been up contemplating change, and I have found a perfect example to prove its existence:
Then
© (Taken from an old journal entry)This is what I’m all about: Hi. My name’s Mariel Kay VanDerworp. My favorite thing about life is friends. I’d rather listen to music than read a book but I’d rather read a book (that intrigues me) than watch TV. I would love to spend a whole day chasing a butterfly or digging a hole to China. I’m stubborn. I like a good chase and if there’s no chase involved then I’m not interested. I have everything that any of my boyfriends have ever given to me including Mat’s grandma’s chocolate. I’m afraid to grow-up. It’s me who throws off the perfection mentality that my family has going on. Guilty. I’m fickle so anyone who’s been a close part of my life for over 6 months must really mean something to me. Throw me on an island with cheese fries and Red Bull and my life would be complete. I often take things for granted and I have a hard time letting go. I’m so eager to be eight-teen and vote. Mat Hutchins was my first love. I look-up to every single one of my friends and admire them for different reasons. I can be very insecure. I have no hard feelings towards Bush. In-fact I like the guy. I like things my way. I tend to think more on the “half-empty” side than the “half-full”. I’m not afraid to die. I love God and feel like my life’s more functional when I allow him to play a bigger part in it. I have a hard time saying no. I would actually like very much to go on a long camping trip. I love more people then I hate.
VS.
Now
© Hello. My name is still Mariel Kay VanDerworp. My favorite thing about life is friends; unfortunately though, friends change and I dislike that aspect. I believe that music is an universal form of art, and I wish that I could find more time for it. I would love to create a time machine and go back in time to a handful of various occasions and just continue living there for as long as the pause button will stick down. I’m more stubborn than ever, and to top it off, I’m a control freak too. I finally let up and disposed of most of the memorabilia from past relationships. I’ve concluded that growing up is inevitable and you can’t fight it. The six month rule still stands true and has unfortunately proven itself true as well. I’m still eager to be eighteen, but I’d rather be eight instead. Love is a taboo subject that I haven’t quite figured out but I’m getting there. I’m extremely afraid to die and often ponder the afterlife. God and I have lost touch a bit, so if you talk to him, tell him I say what’s up. To me, life seems like a joke that I’m not in on, but rather have fallen for.