I need a 12-step program

[illimitezero]

Why do I find it necessary to leave little reminders of my existence for him? Why am I putting myself back in a position to allow myself to be controlled? I'm smarter than this! I'm stronger than this! At least that's what I tell myself between sobs. I'm lost. So utterly lost. And I feel this need to feel loved. So badly. And I'm going through this

Comments

[icarus_rising]

There were days, weeks, months that I felt this exact same way about a certain ex. did i ever mean anything to him? was it me? did he transform me into the monster he later hated in the relationship... or worse yet, did i allow it? how could he just let me slip away? not fight? not care? turn around, tell me he still feels ... when honsetly, he didn't feel anything. mind games, for two years. crying myself to sleep for months on end. dealing with the break-up, going through detox, until one day it all made sense. the crying stopped, i finally let it go. sure the memories come back, litte reminders of the past planted in my present; his cologne, articles of his clothing, random posts on the internet... but i have to keep reminding myself that i deliberately had to push him out of my life once and for all and that happened a couple of months ago... he hates me, but that's his problem. because he's jealous that i've managed to find myself again. and i'm happy. life doesn't matter when there's an actual boyfriend. the true

[illimitezero]

I'm sure I will take you up on that offer sometime soon babe :) I love you too sweetheart, and herbert as well :)

[gank]

self righteous anger was a lot easier than guilt and remorse, huh? break ups are always hard, but there comes a point when you need to just live and let die, ya know? for what its worth, i think you're doing the right thing for both of you.

you should stop by and see me sometime. i would love to catch up.

[illimitezero]

I appreciate the kind words :) it's not about patrick though. But I agree that I am doing the right thing.