i have feelings for the boy that i need to hate. and i want to love the boy that cares but i can't. i'm just going to sleep it all away and live in my dreams because they are better than any present day. i think tonight i'm going to try the unthinkable that i haven't done in over 6 months.

p.s.
sometimes i wish you would hate me ryan.

hello my darling love of my life! how are you doing? FINE DON'T ANSWER YOU FUCKEN BITCH! i'll just tell you about moi's day :-) weeelll.. today i went to school w/ this really ugly ass braid on the side of my head for some reason...but i took it out. sooo..yay. theeeenn... uummm...well...today wasn't interesting at all except for one thing, but i ( Read more... )

i basically hate everyone and everything at the moment. i cant take this any fucken more. i hate being alone like this. i hate all my thoughts and the way i always feel. i just want to go to sleep tonight and never wake up. i really enjoy living in my dreams. my only nightmares i have are when i wake up. i just want someone again. that one person ( Read more... )

Today sucked really bad but right now i'm so happy! i'm not sure why either..hmmm. i dont know what you are doing, so let me ask...what are you doing?....*gives time for you to answer when you probably are not doing anything because that's basically the answer everyone gives someone after that question*.......OMGSH! that's AWESOME!!! YOU HAVE FUN W ( Read more... )

today i have done nothing. neither have i yesterday. i watched half the episodes of The Oc season 1 last night and some today. i have no best friend anymore because she is never there for me and doesn't enjoy spending time w/ me either. i have to go to a parade somewhere in new orleans tomorrow. i hate parades. it probably wouldn't be that bad if i ( Read more... )

Well...today i did nothing. it was very depressing and i cried in 7th hour, but no one saw b/c i don't let them ever see me. i hate how every day goes by and its just the same as before and we just wasted it all and we can't do anything about it. im going crazy right now...im just trying to think...i know what i think...sort of. but i just can't ( Read more... )