More pseudo-existential gibberish
I guess this is going to be my big update entry. So here goes.
I've only worked a total of three days this month. And I'm scheduled to work two days later this week. This means a total of five days for the entire month of June. Yay job. I was out doing the "responsible adult" role the first week of the month. And I was out doing the Rez thing this past week. Between those things, and the way that my work schedule just works out...yep, five fucking days.
Anywho, this past week. Am I going to go into specifics? Probably not. There's nothing terribly interesting that (a)happened or (b)I want to talk about. I had to beat Foy's gf to the ground once or twice, but that's just how you got to treat them hos, else they be fuckin' up yo' shit. Serious? That's questionable. Would I do that? Quite possible.
Maybe I just like using the letter 'q'.
Nah man. Just good harmless fun. Am I glad I went? Somewhat. There were definitely times when I felt that my presence didn't account for much, and that the trip would probably have been better without me there.
Then again, that's the same voice in my head that seriously contemplated killing myself while sitting at the Village Inn with Geoff and OC. Not for any real reason. Ha ha. Just cause I had nothing else to do.
There were some things about the trip that didn't really surprise me at all. Not surprising, just....somewhat disappointed. Not even terribly disappointed (probably due to the lack of surprise part), but at least mildly so. Not going into specifics here, either.
Got my requisite skin cancer for the summer. Went back in to work today to see what the hell was up....evil shenanigans are afoot at the DS, apparently. Lunch at HuHot today with Christine, Rachel, and Asher. Good times. Surprised as hell that Christine agreed to go, let alone that she said she liked it. I remember her very explicitly stating that she refused to go there because of the cooking methods. Silly vegetarians. Anyways, yeah. Good stuff. Lots of questionable adds on MySpace. Campers from a few weeks ago, mostly. Also, a lot of spambot requests...but that ain't nothin' new.
Camping trip planned. Need to ask days off for it...probably go in tomorrow and do that.
So where does this all leave me? It seems more and more that my life is in some kind of limbo state right now. I don't really feel the same pull to relate to people like I once did. People start to act odd around me, and I just pull away from it. My psyche and self-preservation are more important to me than anyone else's. Those things combined seem to relate the end result of my behavior toward most of my friends over the past two months, but it doesn't even begin to come close to the why of it all.
Am I interested in the why?
Am I interested in anything at all?
I've only worked a total of three days this month. And I'm scheduled to work two days later this week. This means a total of five days for the entire month of June. Yay job. I was out doing the "responsible adult" role the first week of the month. And I was out doing the Rez thing this past week. Between those things, and the way that my work schedule just works out...yep, five fucking days.
Anywho, this past week. Am I going to go into specifics? Probably not. There's nothing terribly interesting that (a)happened or (b)I want to talk about. I had to beat Foy's gf to the ground once or twice, but that's just how you got to treat them hos, else they be fuckin' up yo' shit. Serious? That's questionable. Would I do that? Quite possible.
Maybe I just like using the letter 'q'.
Nah man. Just good harmless fun. Am I glad I went? Somewhat. There were definitely times when I felt that my presence didn't account for much, and that the trip would probably have been better without me there.
Then again, that's the same voice in my head that seriously contemplated killing myself while sitting at the Village Inn with Geoff and OC. Not for any real reason. Ha ha. Just cause I had nothing else to do.
There were some things about the trip that didn't really surprise me at all. Not surprising, just....somewhat disappointed. Not even terribly disappointed (probably due to the lack of surprise part), but at least mildly so. Not going into specifics here, either.
Got my requisite skin cancer for the summer. Went back in to work today to see what the hell was up....evil shenanigans are afoot at the DS, apparently. Lunch at HuHot today with Christine, Rachel, and Asher. Good times. Surprised as hell that Christine agreed to go, let alone that she said she liked it. I remember her very explicitly stating that she refused to go there because of the cooking methods. Silly vegetarians. Anyways, yeah. Good stuff. Lots of questionable adds on MySpace. Campers from a few weeks ago, mostly. Also, a lot of spambot requests...but that ain't nothin' new.
Camping trip planned. Need to ask days off for it...probably go in tomorrow and do that.
So where does this all leave me? It seems more and more that my life is in some kind of limbo state right now. I don't really feel the same pull to relate to people like I once did. People start to act odd around me, and I just pull away from it. My psyche and self-preservation are more important to me than anyone else's. Those things combined seem to relate the end result of my behavior toward most of my friends over the past two months, but it doesn't even begin to come close to the why of it all.
Am I interested in the why?
Am I interested in anything at all?