Sporktastic stuff!!!
So, I‘m sure if you’re actually reading this, you were aware my last sporking didn’t go all too well(my memory’s a little hazy, but I’m pretty sure the entire earth exploded.) So I thought I’d try again with something marginally less offensive to the senses but just as ball-draggingly stupid. I bring you the salty sequel to Artemis’s Lover!
Note:I’ve removed the original contact info as it’s probably outdated, plus I wouldn’t want to pester the unlucky soul who inherited this winner’s email address. All text emphasis mine, and bolded comments are me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Sailor Moon, and for the love of god and all that is holy, I did not write this. Do not attribute it to me. Send your black thoughts and curses to Oscar.
"Black Day"
by
Oscar "Artemis's lover"
Author notes: Well thi storie has more action than sex so don't expect a lot from this one ok? also, reading my first h-fanfic "Artemis's lover" is prefered, some plot twist carry on into this storie,
Holy mother of god, we’re already off to a bleak start. How the fuck can you spell hermaphrodite but not story!?
Intro:
As a dark star reaches earth, Luna & Artemis grow concerned. They sence a great evil aproximating. And it will take everything from the scouts to destroy it.
And of course their thirtysomething friend who’s banging their pet cat. Can’t forget him.
A Black Day:
It was 9:12am and Oscar woke up, stretching up and trying to open his eyes,
TRULY THIS IS THE BLACKEST DAY OF ALL! OSCAR HAS AWOKEN AND THE PIT HAS TURNED ITS BOWELS LOOSE UPON HUMANITY! FLEE! FLEEEEEEEE!
"AAAHUUMM. Another day, another life" Oscar said "Don't you think Artemis?" he asked Artemis, but he wasn't around "Damn!! I hate when he does that!"
“He chewed through the duct tape again, damnit! Thankfully I invested in galvanized steel locks. Face it Artemis, the only way you leave here is in a coffin.”
Am I to take that first sentence as meaning he dies in his sleep every night and spontaneously regenerates each morning? Or is he really Ra, surviving another nightly trip through the underworld?
he said frogning, and going into the shower. Meanwhile Artemis was outside with Luna, "Artemis, you felt it too, didn't you?" Luna asked Artemis
“Show me on the Furby where he touched you.”
"Yes, it's a great amount of evil, coming towards earth" Artemis said as he shivered "We have to tell the others!" Luna said as she turned back and left, "OK!" Artemis replied, as he went home.
A cookie to anyone who can explain what just happened and where they were supposed to be.
Oscar came out of the bathroom, still wet from the shower. Artemis showed up "Artemis, where have you been?" Artemis still looked scared "Artemis, is everything allright?"
“Of course, Oscar, why would anyone poison your sprite and cut the brake lines on your car? Silly, silly man.”
Oscar asked concerned "In fact, no. Something evil is coming towards earth, and i don't know if we can stop it!" Oscar got scared "SHIT! Guess i'll have to use my fighting abilities again,uh?" Artemis smiled at him "Right...".
Yeah, he’s going to hit the vague evil with a baseball bat. ‘cause that works.
Meanwhile, Usagi was still asleep, dreaming with Mamoru
If I were to stop at every grammar error, this would be a long ride indeed, children. Let’s just drive by this one grazing in its pen, on our way to the T-Rex of smut that’s surely coming.
"UHH....yes...Mamo-chan..AHH!" she moaned softly "Mamo-chan...it's soo BIG..ughmm" she was now getting wet, and Luna was asleep over her crotch, she felt her juices flowing down her legs, soaking her panties, her covers, and finally Luna's legs.
Oh crap, how did we wind up in Sailor Moon:Fantasy? (Now with 86% more love juices!)
Luna felt something warm below her, she opened her eyes, just to see Usagi moaning "AHH...UMMUHM"
…I get the impression Usagi just yawned from her crotch, which is probably not the mental image this author wanted to summon.
Luna smiled "hmm...she must be having a really good dream" she said, as she went inside the bed covers, pulled Usagi's panties, and started licking her juices
RANDOM BESTIALITY ATTACK!
"UMM..Mamo-chan..yes...lick me" she said, as she felt tickling warm tounge, tease and flick her clit, when Luna heared Usagi, she giggled and tought "Poor Usagi, she's soo inocent" and continued licking her,
Yeah, poor innocent Usagi, who never thought her CAT would MOUTHRAPE her.
…poor, poor Usagi…
she then went inside Usagi's neglije and started licking and playing with her breasts and nipples, Usagi moand softly, but her breath came into short gasps, "AHH,I LOVE YOU,MAMO-CHAN"
AND I HATE YOU, OSCAR!
Luna giggled again "Usagi, i'll show you that i'm better than Mamoru" she said as she licked her tits in circles, until it touched the nipples, teasing them furiously.
I’m having trouble here. Are her tits touching her nipples, or the circles?
Usagi moaned louder, "AHH....Mamo-chan...come inside me...please" Luna gasped as she heard Usagi, and tought "Well, i knew i would have to use it some day" she licked her way down to Usagi's crotch, and licked her outer cunt lips, while Usagi's cunt released her fluids,
…but Ronald Reagan got all the credit.
Luna went down Usagi's bed and picked up her item "I hope Usagi never sees this" Luna returned to Usagi's crotch before she felt her ausence. Usagi felt something sharp pointedm going up and down her outer cunt lips, she said "Mamo-chan....Please!"
WHERE THE FUCK IS A CAT HIDING A DILDO?! NEVERMIND THAT, WHY DOES A CAT EVEN HAVE A DILDO?!!!
Luna smiled as she plunged her item inside Usagi's tight pussy, "AHHUHHUHMM!" she moaned, as she grabed the bed desesperately, and began crying, while Luna darted her item in and out of Usagi's love hole, her body spasming and convlusioning from the motion of Luna's item, Luna saw Usagi's face and noticed her tears, "Usagi, i do belive you're enjoyng this"
The sex rape scene so bad, he actually had to make up words for it. Yes Luna, tears means she’s enjoying it.
…You sociopathic bitch.
Usagi felt that something began vibrating inside her, Luna had turned her item on, IT WAS A DILDO!
NO SHIT!
"AHHAYEEH!!" Usagi yelled as she reached her orgasm, and cum spurted out of Usagi's love hole,
No, I have no idea why she just let loose with Xena’s warcry. I do know that I wish Lucy Lawless would appear and kick this author in the face.
some of the cum sprayed Luna's face, Luna smiled "Ohh, Usagi, see? I'm better than Mamoru"
Yes, consensual sex with the man you love is no match for a cat with a dildo. You heard it folks, straight from the horse’s cat’s mouth.
she then, pushed the dildo all inside Usagi. Usagi again spurted out cum from her cunt. Luna kept darting the dildo in and out, making Usagi's body to spasm even more. Luna then turned off the dildo and pulled it slowly, out from Usagi's cunt. "She should have enjoyed her pleasure ride" Luna said
I’d like to devote special attention to the language here. No one talks like this. No one in porn talks like this. A man learning English after fifty years of isolation on an alien planet does not talk like this. This has been babelfished from the black tongue of Oscar’s native circle of hell, and it shows.
as she licked the cum out from the dildo. Usagi's breath slowed down, as her pleasure went off.
I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I just don’t.
Luna said "i'd better hide this thing in another place" as she hid it under Usagi's matresess.
Yes, UNDER HER MATRESS, where no teenage girl hides anything, ever.
And Luna curled up over Usagi's crotch and sat there until Usagi woke up. when she woke up, she saw her bed all wet, and gasped
“I’ve killed another squirtle!”
"Oh my. I hope that Luna didn't noticed this. Luna heard her and said silently "Oh Usagi, i didn't,he he he".
Oh, that lovable cat rapist scamp.
Later that day everyone, even Oscar, where at Rei's temple, trying to make some sort of an attack plan.
Yes, even Oscar was trying to make some sort of attack plan, much to the Senshi’s dismay and chagrin.
“And then I’ll go in and hit everyone with a bat! And then Usagi, you get captured and I’ll totally save the day! And then I’ll have lots of sex with my true love, isn’t that right Artemis?” *cat scratches ‘help me’ on the table surface* “silly kitty!”
Rei nodded "Well, i really can't see what or who, is on that star" everyone was thinking, even Usagi. Suddenly Artemis said "EVERYONE DUCK!!!!"
NOW STOP
HAMMERTIME!
Oscar grabbed Artemis and protected him with his body, as a loud BOOM came from outside,everyone was scared. And went out just to see the city in ruins, the streets cracked, buildings destroyed, many people didn't survived.
And yet somehow they’re perfectly fine. Oh I’m sorry, they did survived.
But Rei gor furious as she saw her grandfather and Chad crushed by a pillar!!!
“Chad, get out from under that pillar and stop being so lazy, can’t you see we just barely did survived?”
she yelled "NOW IT'S PERSONAL!!!!!"A then everyone transformed.
Actually, the others were like “yeah Rei, it’s personal for you, we all have our own secret mancrushes to look after. Have fun dying.”
"VENUS STAR POWER, MARS STAR POWER, MERCURY STAR POWER, JUPITER STAR POWER, MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!! (all) MAKE UP!!"
Thank you, I don’t think “everyone transformed” was clear enough for me. I mean, they could’ve transformed into anything, wolves, bats, chickens, kaiju, and we would’ve been totally lost!
Oscar yelled as he concentrated all of his power "KHAAAAA!!!SAIYA-JIN POWER!!!!" Oscar's hair turned gold and up, Artemis gasped as he saw Oscar
…completely rip off an anime without even bothering to watch it. Saiya-jin transformation phrases, Artemis thought, taking a pull of Maker’s Mark, what’s next, Pretty Sammy breath lasers?
transformate "O...Oscar you...", Oscar looked Artemis with a smile "Yes Artemis, i'm a SAIYA-JIN" Artemis smiled proudly " wow, not only is he an hermaphrodite, but a SAIYA-JIN AS well"
There is literally nothing I can say to this. I’ve thought and thought, but every witty retort dies on my lips when I reach that last sentence. It’s like he’s created a literary brown note.
the sailor scouts and Oscar held hands, and yelled "SAILOR-TELEPORT" the ground shaked and they disappear,
WHOAH, WHOAH, WHOAH I call bullshit. Oscar is not a Sailor Senshi, and therefore would be flung off into the icy void of outer space. At least that’s what I hope will happen. Please, god, let that happen.
Artemis said "Good luck, my love.
It was a rough fight up there, and Oscar came back dead,
Which is currently fighting for “best song lyric” and “best thing to ever happen, ever” in my heart.
Artemis cryed, for him, but Usagi took her silver crystal and gave him
…a Viking funeral. “Sorry Artemis, we wanted to bury him in toxic waste, but this was quicker.”
“That’s okay, the cat said with tears in his eyes, “as long as he’s really gone and my butthole is once again safe from his menace.”
the enough energy to live, Artemis couldn't belive his eyes, he saw Oscar alive and again he cryed, but this time it was for joy.
“Nurse Joy, it’s that guy I told you about, he’s back! Put down that Gardevoir and help me!”
AUTHOR LAST NOTES: This storie was in the first place, VERY long, but when i tried to save it it said "insuficient memory left in you page"
Actually, it said “I can’t in all good conscience unleash this on humanity.” And committed suicide.
Or something like that. soo when you E-mail me, consider this ok? Especially you Artemis&Luna
…is he actually threatening the cats with more sex scenes? That fucked up, G.
THE END....FOR NOW
And sadly, that’s quite true. I know at least one other fic involving this human pile of fail and his Sue-per powered rampage in animeland, but I feel all greasy ‘n gritty just from this fic so I’m going to stop it right here.
Note:I’ve removed the original contact info as it’s probably outdated, plus I wouldn’t want to pester the unlucky soul who inherited this winner’s email address. All text emphasis mine, and bolded comments are me.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Sailor Moon, and for the love of god and all that is holy, I did not write this. Do not attribute it to me. Send your black thoughts and curses to Oscar.
"Black Day"
by
Oscar "Artemis's lover"
Author notes: Well thi storie has more action than sex so don't expect a lot from this one ok? also, reading my first h-fanfic "Artemis's lover" is prefered, some plot twist carry on into this storie,
Holy mother of god, we’re already off to a bleak start. How the fuck can you spell hermaphrodite but not story!?
Intro:
As a dark star reaches earth, Luna & Artemis grow concerned. They sence a great evil aproximating. And it will take everything from the scouts to destroy it.
And of course their thirtysomething friend who’s banging their pet cat. Can’t forget him.
A Black Day:
It was 9:12am and Oscar woke up, stretching up and trying to open his eyes,
TRULY THIS IS THE BLACKEST DAY OF ALL! OSCAR HAS AWOKEN AND THE PIT HAS TURNED ITS BOWELS LOOSE UPON HUMANITY! FLEE! FLEEEEEEEE!
"AAAHUUMM. Another day, another life" Oscar said "Don't you think Artemis?" he asked Artemis, but he wasn't around "Damn!! I hate when he does that!"
“He chewed through the duct tape again, damnit! Thankfully I invested in galvanized steel locks. Face it Artemis, the only way you leave here is in a coffin.”
Am I to take that first sentence as meaning he dies in his sleep every night and spontaneously regenerates each morning? Or is he really Ra, surviving another nightly trip through the underworld?
he said frogning, and going into the shower. Meanwhile Artemis was outside with Luna, "Artemis, you felt it too, didn't you?" Luna asked Artemis
“Show me on the Furby where he touched you.”
"Yes, it's a great amount of evil, coming towards earth" Artemis said as he shivered "We have to tell the others!" Luna said as she turned back and left, "OK!" Artemis replied, as he went home.
A cookie to anyone who can explain what just happened and where they were supposed to be.
Oscar came out of the bathroom, still wet from the shower. Artemis showed up "Artemis, where have you been?" Artemis still looked scared "Artemis, is everything allright?"
“Of course, Oscar, why would anyone poison your sprite and cut the brake lines on your car? Silly, silly man.”
Oscar asked concerned "In fact, no. Something evil is coming towards earth, and i don't know if we can stop it!" Oscar got scared "SHIT! Guess i'll have to use my fighting abilities again,uh?" Artemis smiled at him "Right...".
Yeah, he’s going to hit the vague evil with a baseball bat. ‘cause that works.
Meanwhile, Usagi was still asleep, dreaming with Mamoru
If I were to stop at every grammar error, this would be a long ride indeed, children. Let’s just drive by this one grazing in its pen, on our way to the T-Rex of smut that’s surely coming.
"UHH....yes...Mamo-chan..AHH!" she moaned softly "Mamo-chan...it's soo BIG..ughmm" she was now getting wet, and Luna was asleep over her crotch, she felt her juices flowing down her legs, soaking her panties, her covers, and finally Luna's legs.
Oh crap, how did we wind up in Sailor Moon:Fantasy? (Now with 86% more love juices!)
Luna felt something warm below her, she opened her eyes, just to see Usagi moaning "AHH...UMMUHM"
…I get the impression Usagi just yawned from her crotch, which is probably not the mental image this author wanted to summon.
Luna smiled "hmm...she must be having a really good dream" she said, as she went inside the bed covers, pulled Usagi's panties, and started licking her juices
RANDOM BESTIALITY ATTACK!
"UMM..Mamo-chan..yes...lick me" she said, as she felt tickling warm tounge, tease and flick her clit, when Luna heared Usagi, she giggled and tought "Poor Usagi, she's soo inocent" and continued licking her,
Yeah, poor innocent Usagi, who never thought her CAT would MOUTHRAPE her.
…poor, poor Usagi…
she then went inside Usagi's neglije and started licking and playing with her breasts and nipples, Usagi moand softly, but her breath came into short gasps, "AHH,I LOVE YOU,MAMO-CHAN"
AND I HATE YOU, OSCAR!
Luna giggled again "Usagi, i'll show you that i'm better than Mamoru" she said as she licked her tits in circles, until it touched the nipples, teasing them furiously.
I’m having trouble here. Are her tits touching her nipples, or the circles?
Usagi moaned louder, "AHH....Mamo-chan...come inside me...please" Luna gasped as she heard Usagi, and tought "Well, i knew i would have to use it some day" she licked her way down to Usagi's crotch, and licked her outer cunt lips, while Usagi's cunt released her fluids,
…but Ronald Reagan got all the credit.
Luna went down Usagi's bed and picked up her item "I hope Usagi never sees this" Luna returned to Usagi's crotch before she felt her ausence. Usagi felt something sharp pointedm going up and down her outer cunt lips, she said "Mamo-chan....Please!"
WHERE THE FUCK IS A CAT HIDING A DILDO?! NEVERMIND THAT, WHY DOES A CAT EVEN HAVE A DILDO?!!!
Luna smiled as she plunged her item inside Usagi's tight pussy, "AHHUHHUHMM!" she moaned, as she grabed the bed desesperately, and began crying, while Luna darted her item in and out of Usagi's love hole, her body spasming and convlusioning from the motion of Luna's item, Luna saw Usagi's face and noticed her tears, "Usagi, i do belive you're enjoyng this"
The sex rape scene so bad, he actually had to make up words for it. Yes Luna, tears means she’s enjoying it.
…You sociopathic bitch.
Usagi felt that something began vibrating inside her, Luna had turned her item on, IT WAS A DILDO!
NO SHIT!
"AHHAYEEH!!" Usagi yelled as she reached her orgasm, and cum spurted out of Usagi's love hole,
No, I have no idea why she just let loose with Xena’s warcry. I do know that I wish Lucy Lawless would appear and kick this author in the face.
some of the cum sprayed Luna's face, Luna smiled "Ohh, Usagi, see? I'm better than Mamoru"
Yes, consensual sex with the man you love is no match for a cat with a dildo. You heard it folks, straight from the horse’s cat’s mouth.
she then, pushed the dildo all inside Usagi. Usagi again spurted out cum from her cunt. Luna kept darting the dildo in and out, making Usagi's body to spasm even more. Luna then turned off the dildo and pulled it slowly, out from Usagi's cunt. "She should have enjoyed her pleasure ride" Luna said
I’d like to devote special attention to the language here. No one talks like this. No one in porn talks like this. A man learning English after fifty years of isolation on an alien planet does not talk like this. This has been babelfished from the black tongue of Oscar’s native circle of hell, and it shows.
as she licked the cum out from the dildo. Usagi's breath slowed down, as her pleasure went off.
I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. I just don’t.
Luna said "i'd better hide this thing in another place" as she hid it under Usagi's matresess.
Yes, UNDER HER MATRESS, where no teenage girl hides anything, ever.
And Luna curled up over Usagi's crotch and sat there until Usagi woke up. when she woke up, she saw her bed all wet, and gasped
“I’ve killed another squirtle!”
"Oh my. I hope that Luna didn't noticed this. Luna heard her and said silently "Oh Usagi, i didn't,he he he".
Oh, that lovable cat rapist scamp.
Later that day everyone, even Oscar, where at Rei's temple, trying to make some sort of an attack plan.
Yes, even Oscar was trying to make some sort of attack plan, much to the Senshi’s dismay and chagrin.
“And then I’ll go in and hit everyone with a bat! And then Usagi, you get captured and I’ll totally save the day! And then I’ll have lots of sex with my true love, isn’t that right Artemis?” *cat scratches ‘help me’ on the table surface* “silly kitty!”
Rei nodded "Well, i really can't see what or who, is on that star" everyone was thinking, even Usagi. Suddenly Artemis said "EVERYONE DUCK!!!!"
NOW STOP
HAMMERTIME!
Oscar grabbed Artemis and protected him with his body, as a loud BOOM came from outside,everyone was scared. And went out just to see the city in ruins, the streets cracked, buildings destroyed, many people didn't survived.
And yet somehow they’re perfectly fine. Oh I’m sorry, they did survived.
But Rei gor furious as she saw her grandfather and Chad crushed by a pillar!!!
“Chad, get out from under that pillar and stop being so lazy, can’t you see we just barely did survived?”
she yelled "NOW IT'S PERSONAL!!!!!"A then everyone transformed.
Actually, the others were like “yeah Rei, it’s personal for you, we all have our own secret mancrushes to look after. Have fun dying.”
"VENUS STAR POWER, MARS STAR POWER, MERCURY STAR POWER, JUPITER STAR POWER, MOON CRYSTAL POWER!!! (all) MAKE UP!!"
Thank you, I don’t think “everyone transformed” was clear enough for me. I mean, they could’ve transformed into anything, wolves, bats, chickens, kaiju, and we would’ve been totally lost!
Oscar yelled as he concentrated all of his power "KHAAAAA!!!SAIYA-JIN POWER!!!!" Oscar's hair turned gold and up, Artemis gasped as he saw Oscar
…completely rip off an anime without even bothering to watch it. Saiya-jin transformation phrases, Artemis thought, taking a pull of Maker’s Mark, what’s next, Pretty Sammy breath lasers?
transformate "O...Oscar you...", Oscar looked Artemis with a smile "Yes Artemis, i'm a SAIYA-JIN" Artemis smiled proudly " wow, not only is he an hermaphrodite, but a SAIYA-JIN AS well"
There is literally nothing I can say to this. I’ve thought and thought, but every witty retort dies on my lips when I reach that last sentence. It’s like he’s created a literary brown note.
the sailor scouts and Oscar held hands, and yelled "SAILOR-TELEPORT" the ground shaked and they disappear,
WHOAH, WHOAH, WHOAH I call bullshit. Oscar is not a Sailor Senshi, and therefore would be flung off into the icy void of outer space. At least that’s what I hope will happen. Please, god, let that happen.
Artemis said "Good luck, my love.
It was a rough fight up there, and Oscar came back dead,
Which is currently fighting for “best song lyric” and “best thing to ever happen, ever” in my heart.
Artemis cryed, for him, but Usagi took her silver crystal and gave him
…a Viking funeral. “Sorry Artemis, we wanted to bury him in toxic waste, but this was quicker.”
“That’s okay, the cat said with tears in his eyes, “as long as he’s really gone and my butthole is once again safe from his menace.”
the enough energy to live, Artemis couldn't belive his eyes, he saw Oscar alive and again he cryed, but this time it was for joy.
“Nurse Joy, it’s that guy I told you about, he’s back! Put down that Gardevoir and help me!”
AUTHOR LAST NOTES: This storie was in the first place, VERY long, but when i tried to save it it said "insuficient memory left in you page"
Actually, it said “I can’t in all good conscience unleash this on humanity.” And committed suicide.
Or something like that. soo when you E-mail me, consider this ok? Especially you Artemis&Luna
…is he actually threatening the cats with more sex scenes? That fucked up, G.
THE END....FOR NOW
And sadly, that’s quite true. I know at least one other fic involving this human pile of fail and his Sue-per powered rampage in animeland, but I feel all greasy ‘n gritty just from this fic so I’m going to stop it right here.