mind_the_muse :: February :: 5 Days...

[ilookgreat]

Five days you never had and one day you did.

1. There’s a Norah Jones song playing somewhere about election day, who knows, maybe he's not deranged. She’s hot and he hates to disappoint. Colbert’s already been sworn in, which means there’s no more time to review his note cards - he’ll wing it, he’s gotten elected and no one’s taking this title

Comments

[mr_colbert]

It takes a long time to get used to the sound of "Crane-Colbert" Nation. It doesn't sound quite right. Stephen loves Denny, really, but the ticket should have been the other way around. Stephen had the experience. Denny had Mad Cow. It was a no brainer.

Pun not intended. Even Stephen wasn't that inconsiderate. Denny was his friend. He'd need his endorsement when he ran for President again after this VP gig was over.

[ilookgreat]

Experience, however, isn't everything. And sure, Stephen's got most everything - charisma, pizazz, a following of cultists fans, an endorsement from Dorritos - which, coincidentally go very well with a double-stack. Though Stephen is a shining example of shameless self-promotion, there's still that something he needs in order to properly whore himself out for the country. Colbert may want to bang his nation, but is she willing? ...well, the stingy Republican party, anyway, wasn't willing.

What he lacks is... mad cow. Rather than acting on sheer passion alone, Stephen needs to be able to just go blindly into a situation, without a script - err, well, the writers' strike might have given him some experience there. He needs the crazy, demented factor. America is a nation run by crazy, old men. Stephen needs the age and the dementia in order to move up the government ladder from VP to just P - not to be confused with Master P. Besides, Denny Crane won't be the first or the last president to be caught with his pants down.

[mr_colbert]

Make em say uh. Uhhh. Na na na na.

See? He was hip. He was with it. The thing about hips was that both of Stephen's were intact. America wanted their presidents as tough as nails and as old as dirt. That explained why Hillary had such a long run at the presidency. That dyke looked like a wart that crawled out of some 90 year old hag's buttcrack. Stephen shuddered to think at how close she had come to becoming president.

Until the day he became old, which was a long way off let me assure you - he still has his thick locks of raven black hair thank you very much, Stephen would learn from the best and only other person whom he felt was fit for the Executive office in the modern era.

Now that he was VP he had a few issues to take care of, the first being a quail hunting expedition. He had a few people he wanted to invite...