'Silent Paul' on how to make a turkey
anonymous
November 26 2004, 14:51:32 UTC
Hello, I'm Silent Paul and I'd like to take a moment on how to make a turkey. First you get a roast beef and splash it with some tomato juice as to not overheat the large fowl when you throw the sucker into the heating chamber. You then proceed to wrap it up in a tortilla and make fun of it before you take a wisk and liqiufy the inards. I like to use 50cal. rounds to top off the garnish, along with a white russian, for good measure. Now pop it in the oven for 5 weeks for 350 degrees and sit back and relax. Afterwards you should have a turkey, if not you f*cked up and should do it again. Please join me next time when I explain what Milli Villi and copywrite laws have to do with each other. Thanks for stoppin', see ya later.
That ain't how you make a dadblamed turkey!
anonymous
November 28 2004, 21:49:47 UTC
This here is the Wahoo Kid with another rompin roundup of tales from Hampton's Ghetto. I don't know who this doggone Silent Paul is but if he reckons that's how you make a turkey then he don't know his right eyelid from his left buttcrack. Ya make a turkey by placin a good size bird, about 76 lb. or so in a toaster oven and preheat to 650 degrees kelvin. After ya do that, ya gotta stuff that mutha with some tartar sauce and a mess o' Wonder bread...enough to feed the crew of the H.M.S. Bounty! Then ya get to sit back and watch some jawdroppin football and that there Macy's Turkey Parade up in the big apple. Put the timekeeper on for an hour n a half and relax. It'll ding, don't you a'worry, an when it does you best open that toaster window and pull it out. Although the turkey will blow your socks and whatnot off when it explodes upon doing the aforementioned opening, people will know from miles down the street that you've made a one in a million mutha of a turkey. ummmUmm! Makin me hongry just thinkin bout it
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